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My poems- Once again XD

This is great! I think you are a very talented writer and that you should continue with this thread. I just have one suggestion. If you do not use so many abbreviations than your poems would have a something more to it. It would be more structural like and have not exactly have more meaning to it but it would be more formal like. I am not saying you should, as these poems have excellent meaning and have a great flow to them.
 
Whoah! Great poems, I liked them all, The war poem really got you thinking ^^
 
Narnia- Well, I abbreviate because otherwise the flow would'nt really work...thanks!!!

COH- Well it's not exactly a poem...I dunno what it is xD;;; thanks!
---

@_@ Sorry for the delay...I just got a really bad writers block...so....=/
 
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OKay okay! I'll say something innocent!

I really like 'em! But I've told you that before. Keep me updated for future add ons will you? I can't wait till you write more ^^ I hope your writers block ends soon!
 
Eliana said:
...

Love Is Gone

Dawn brought emptiness and confusion?
And I don?t know why?am I in delusion?
The light is now nowhere to be seen.

Because your bright green eyes no longer hypnotize me,
I am lost in the dark.
Left alone, with an empty heart.
Love has gone another path,
Is it gone forever? Will it come back?
Everything is grey, drenched by rain?
Just return love, and stop the pain.
October skies are getting old,
Everything seems so dark and cold?
And the light is gone?
Rain has been falling far too long.
My heart is crying,
Severed and dying.
Tomorrow will never come again,
Rage and hate will come instead.
On top of it all, I stand and watch,
Now wondering about those bright green eyes,
Green eyes by which I was once mesmerized?

And I want to fall into them, once again,
And I don?t want the light to leave, ever again...
​

BTW- If you know codes, look for certain letters in the main part of the poem~
Click to expand...

I see the code...it says.... Biwwie :O

I remember reading this... great poem Eli. You have a lot of talent.. I cant write for my life xD Its very touching and meaningful, excellent. I hope you write more ^^
 
Thanks both of you ^^;;; sadly, I am experiencing a terrible writers block...
 
Come on Eli!! XD All your poems are fantastic! ^o^ I don't care if you have writer's block, write some more! XD *huggles and snuggles Eli*

~Kelsey
 
Actually I was gonna ask you about that...WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?! XD I'm dying here XD
 
What do you mean what do you do? XD Just write a pwetty poem. <3<3 I best write a poem too. It's beena looooong time since I last wrote one. OO; Well, good luck to you Eli! ^^

~Kelsey
 
Well I have writers block, I dont know what to do about it @_@

----
Okay, good news people ^___^ I got an idea, and I think it will probably work...I'll work on it soon, but I'm a but busy at the moment @_@
I think I'm gonna try a poem that doesn't rhyme, because I never actually tried that...
 
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OKAY I GOT SOMETHING!!! XD it's not complete, but here:

(Unamed for now)

Is it snowing?
Or is it just dropping from the trees...
Is it raining?
Or is it the falling tears of children...
Is that the sun?
Or is it a mere illusion of our blinded minds, which have ceased to see light for eternity...

I think it sucks but...XD!
 
Not too bad but not the best. I can't wait to here the rest ;)

EDIT: I just relised I rhymed :O XO
 
Well, I'd appreciate if you gave me feedback...^^; I'm recovering from writers block so @_@
 
YES! XD I GOT IT

Questions of the Unknown

Is it snowing?
Or is just dropping from the branches of the trees?
Is it raining?
Or is it the falling tears of children?
Is that the sun?
Or is it a mere illusion of our blinded minds, which have ceased to see Light For eternity?
What are they?
We may never know, for these are just mysteries, floating across the Plane Of Thought?
Is the question ?Who are you??
Or ?Who do you wish to be??
Is it ?What is your fate??
Or is it ?What was your past??
Is there an answer?
Or are they doomed to be forgotten?
If there is an answer,
Do we wait for it, or do we seek it out?
Are those stars in the sky?
Or are they remnants of those who died?
Is this hatred?
Or is it simply a way to conceal our own failure?
And does God exist?
He must, for someone must have created these questions, the Questions of the Unknown?
 
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Eliana said:
YES! XD I GOT IT

Questions of the Unknown

Is it snowing?
Or is just dropping from the branches of the trees?
Is it raining?
Or is it the falling tears of children?
Is that the sun?
Or is it a mere illusion of our blinded minds, which have ceased to see light(Light) for eternity?
What are they?
We may never know, for these are just mysteries, floating across the Plain(Plane) of Thought?
Is the question ?Who are you???
Or ?Who do you wish to be???
Is it ?What is your fate???
Or is it ?What was your past???
Is there an answer?
Or are they doomed to be forgotten?
If there is an answer,
Do we wait for it, or do we seek it out?
Are those stars in the sky?
Or are they remnants of those who died?
Is this hatred?
Or is it simply the way to conceal failure?
And does God exist?
He must, for someone must have created these questions, the Questions of the Unknown?
Click to expand...

Weeeeeeee, Eli's finally done it!! XD This poem was really good, as all of your works are. ^.~

Now, I've corrected the little spelling and grammar arrors for you. ^____^ They're nothing big, but I've fixed them so you know of some areas to improve on. ^^

This poem tells of many questions we as humans have about our world. We wonder about things and ask questions in hopes of seeking out the answers. It never ceases to amaze me on how observent us humans are. ^^

We're constantly wondering and thinking, for it is one of the few things we humans do best, in my opinion. Your poem shows how one person can concoct so many questions and hope for the answer of them all even if they believe it is not possible for that to happen.

Fweeeeee, shweet job Eli. <3 The only things you should fix are the spelling errors and those questions mark things. You see, when you state a question within a question like this line:

Is the question ?Who are you??

You see, there's already a question mark in there, so you don't have to double the effect by putting a question mark on the outside of the quotations too. ^^

Well done Eli...even if it took me a while to get here, I still lurved it! <3 *hugs*

~Kelsey
 
^___^ Ah yes, we are stupid humans XD!!!!

Yes, the goal was to question life basically =3 Thanks so much ^___^
 
Awwwwwwwwwws, you're welcome Eli dear. <3<3<3 I can't wait for teh next poem! ^o^ Write one now!!! *cracks whip* XD *pets*

~Kelsey
 
Oh God, well actually, I AM starting one...I think it was inspired by Green Day o.o;

Well sneak peek people- *almost wrote "peak"* XD anyways it's about someone who can't take pain, so basically hides in ones own daydreaming to hide from pain and reality...it may take a while though.
 
Change of plans XD; I decided to write a song...the flow will probably not make sense to you, because I have a rythym for it:

The Winter Without An End

Just another cold dark day,
With just the colors of white and gray,
And it's,
No different than yesterday.
I think, that winter's here to stay...

(Chorus)
Spring is never coming back,
There's no future, just the past,
And it's repeating itself again...
Welcome to the Winter Without An End.
-----

No I recall the memories,
When the sun once shined
And misery,
Was just another word that meant nothing...
But those days are gone and summer's dead,
Replaced by falling snow and rain...

(Chorus)
---
No, there's no escape,
But no I'm not complaining
And I won't,
Listen to the words you say,
And I think it's time to run away...

(Chorus x2)

Okay, yeah I know it's terrible >>; I can't get the rythym right at ALL XD;;
I think I'm a lot better at poems right now o_o; Just give me time and don't kill me XD
 
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Eli that song is incredible! even if you didn't write down the little "chores"'s down it's really easy to tell that it's a song, and it's a good one too ;_; poor summer XD it's really good, I love the lyrics, ^_^ maybe make them longer, that way it'll seem more like a song, but you don't have to, great job!! =D
 
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