My poems- Once again XD

Better Off Than Me

I don't understand why you think,
Your life sucks, along with everything.
Because it's all untrue,
You and your stupid views,
'Cuz You're better off than me,
So stop pretending not to see,
'Cuz you have a fate, and you're meant to be.
You're not the one who's goin' down,
And you're not the one, who falls with no sound.
Don't think you're unloved, you've got friends,
They'll be there for you, 'till the very end.
People are worse off than you,
In the streets without food.
People dying of disease, so why can't you see,
That you're better off than me.
 
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Eliana said:
^^ Got another done...

Poison of Love

There's a reason why I choose stay,
Away from love, and its terrible ways.
I've seen it good, but mostly bad,
It wreaks destruction, in its path.
It turns people into monsters, and tears them apart,
Leaves them alone, with broken hearts.
But why must love leave them so fast?
Shouldn't love forever last?
Why can't they think about the good times they had?
And just move on, forget the past.
And I could have stopped tragedy,
But I failed in agony,
And I started it all,
And I watched them fall.
I should have been there, to stop the fight.
And I should have been there, to show them the light.
And trickling down, drops of blood,
'Tis the poison, the poison of love.
Click to expand...

;0; Awwwwwwwws, such a sweet poem! This poem really depicts love and how it always is. I doubt there's ever been a loving relationship without it's horrible ups and downs. It brings back bad memories, but atill, this poem helps me to realize what love truly is.

You cannot always be so naive to think that love shall always last forever. But in truth, love can and does withstand all obstacles. <3<3

Eliana said:
Better Off Than Me

I don't understand why you think,
Your life sucks, along with everything.
Because it's all untrue,
You and your stupid views,
'Cuz You're better off than me,
So stop pretending not to see,
'Cuz you have a fate, and you're meant to be.
You're not the one who's goin' down,
And you're not the one, who falls with no sound.
Don't think you're unloved, you've got friends,
They'll be there for you, 'till the very end.
People are worse off than you,
In the streets without food.
People dying of disease, so why can't you see,
That you're better off than me.
Click to expand...

Awwwws, your poems are always so truthful, Eli! ^o^ This is a poem that is really saying 'count your blessings'. For you make think that world is against you, and that no one could ever have it as bad as you do. Even if you feel as though your life is a blistering Hell...there's always someone who's worse off.

Awsome poems Eli, me loves them allllllllllllllllllllllllllll as usual! <3<3<3 *huggles and snuggles*

~Kelsey
 
Thankis! ^o^ I was waiting for you to post XD You give wonderful insight!!!

*walks around blindly, unknowing of what to write next* @_@
 
Okay, I've got one done...I sorta rushed to get it done, but I also put effort into it....@_@

The Child

Today I met a child,
One I would not forget for a while.
Sunken eyes, staring into space,
He walked slowly, without grace.
I asked him what was wrong,
And he told a story, rather long;
"I had a twin, my very best friend,
My father was drunk, my mother dead.
Everything we did, my father would anger,
And beat us hard, like we were strangers.
We suffered long hard nights,
Wondering if we should fight,
But we held back,
Our bones cracked.
So then we said, we'd run away,
He went too far, and it's just too late.
No we can't go back, so we ran and ran.
Father chased us, and grasped my brothers hand.
I held onto him, I couldn't let go,
I couldn't give into this man, crippled and old.
My brother cried "Run, please hide!"
And I did as he told, I left him behind.
I ran in tears, and cowering fear.
And here I've been, for many years"
I heard his tale, began to cry,
I yelled aloud, and screamed out "Why!?"
But he merely smiled, and said to me;
"I am alive, and proud to be."
When I see a father hurt a son with his hand,
I cry out loud "Why don't you understand..."
 
Eliana said:
Okay, I've got one done...I sorta rushed to get it done, but I also put effort into it....@_@

The Child

Today I met a child,
One I would not forget for a while.
Sunken eyes, staring into space,
He walked slowly, without grace.
I asked him what was wrong,
And he told a story, rather long;
"I had a twin, my very best friend,
My father was drunk, my mother dead.
Everything we did, my father would anger,
And beat us hard, like we were strangers.
We suffered long hard nights,
Wondering if we should fight,
But we held back,
Our bones cracked.
So then we said, we'd run away,
He went too far, and it's just too late.
No we can't go back, so we ran and ran.
Father chased us, and grasped my brothers hand.
I held onto him, I couldn't let go,
I couldn't give into this man, crippled and old.
My brother cried "Run, please hide!"
And I did as he told, I left him behind.
I ran in tears, and cowering fear.
And here I've been, for many years"
I heard his tale, began to cry,
I yelled aloud, and screamed out "Why!?"
But he merely smiled, and said to me;
"I am alive, and proud to be."
When I see a father hurt a son with his hand,
I cry out loud "Why don't you understand..."
Click to expand...

Awwwwwwwws! ;o; This one ish sooooo sad! It shows how people abuse their own children, it's such a sad thing. ;-; I can't even begin to comprehend why a parent would take the life of a child they themselves brought into the world...

You poem showed what torture children all around the world go through. Being abused is such a horrible thing, and no child deserves to be haunted and paranoid that someone might be waiting around the corner to beat them. o.o;

Well, the flow I think could use a bit of touch-ups. For example, "No we can't go back, so we ran and ran." This line's flow is kinda choppy, but a good way to fix it would just be to add a comma after "No". (No, we can't go back, so we ran and ran.)

Awsome job Eli, dear! <3 I can't wait for teh next poem. ^o^

~Kelsey
 
Yeah, I noticed the flow was terrible...@_@ I was trying to make it sound better....


Thanks ^__^
 
That's OK, Eli dear! ^^ Just keep working with it, and it shall come out to be even more wonderful than it already is. <3 You can also PM some of your works to me and I shall be happy to take a look at 'em. ^.~

~Kelsey
 
I will don't worry ^____^ I'll start writing again...after today XD
 
Eliana said:
Okay, I've got one done...I sorta rushed to get it done, but I also put effort into it....@_@

The Child

Today I met a child,
One I would not forget for a while.
Sunken eyes, staring into space,
He walked slowly, without grace.
I asked him what was wrong,
And he told a story, rather long;
"I had a twin, my very best friend,
My father was drunk, my mother dead.
Everything we did, my father would anger,
And beat us hard, like we were strangers.
We suffered long hard nights,
Wondering if we should fight,
But we held back,
Our bones cracked.
So then we said, we'd run away,
He went too far, and it's just too late.
No we can't go back, so we ran and ran.
Father chased us, and grasped my brothers hand.
I held onto him, I couldn't let go,
I couldn't give into this man, crippled and old.
My brother cried "Run, please hide!"
And I did as he told, I left him behind.
I ran in tears, and cowering fear.
And here I've been, for many years"
I heard his tale, began to cry,
I yelled aloud, and screamed out "Why!?"
But he merely smiled, and said to me;
"I am alive, and proud to be."
When I see a father hurt a son with his hand,
I cry out loud "Why don't you understand..."
Click to expand...


It really makes you think about the truth, really great poem!
 
been reading your poems, eli, great job on all of them. my favorite is 'better off than me' it's really well written ^ ^
 
C.O.H- Thanks!

Matt-Well ya get to see more ^____^ I'm starting to write a song based on it:

Better Off Than Me

Lost in my misery again,
Does this road even have an end?
Drifting down this path to hell,
As much as you scream and yell,
No ones out there to help,
'Cuz it's every man to himself,
No one's gonna listen to you,
Or care about what you do...
But keep in mind-

[Chorus]
You have a life,
You're meant to be,
Stop complaining about untrue things.
And I won't take this any longer,
And I know that you're stronger,
So wake up, and see,
You're better off than me.[/chorus]

You wanna go the path less taken,
Then go ahead, just try and make it.
You'll be back before tommorow,
Drenched in the same old sorrow,
It's what I deal with every day,
And the darkness never really goes away...
So make up your friggin' mind...

[Chorus]

That's what I have so far, it's far from perfection~

~Eli
 
Lol, I've written before...sadly it didnt work too well but thanks! ^___^
 
Omg, help writers block!!! @_@ XD I got something started but I dunno what it is XD
I added a bit, and there are some swears so I put "-" instead of "*" XD

[TO BE NAMED]

This is the CITY OF LONG LOST SOULS,
The ones who DIED with HELPLESS goals.
A WAR WAS FOUGHT TODAY.
The HYPOCRITES against the BRAVE.
The CORPSES never reached the GRAVE.
And the BODIES were the SAME.
PITY SEEKERS and F---ING LIARS,
Now they BURN in BLOODY FIRES.
I didn't FALL with these F-GS.
I won't DIE under their FLAGS

No I'm not done with it yet =P
 
Thanks!!! XD I put swears in because a boy in my class kept bugging me to...XD
 
eh still it's good! I have made a few poems but their not even close to being as good as yours yours are WAY better than mine!
 
...

Love Is Gone

Dawn brought emptiness and confusion?
And I don?t know why?am I in delusion?
The light is now nowhere to be seen.

Because your bright green eyes no longer hypnotize me,
I am lost in the dark.
Left alone, with an empty heart.
Love has gone another path,
Is it gone forever? Will it come back?
Everything is grey, drenched by rain?
Just return love, and stop the pain.
October skies are getting old,
Everything seems so dark and cold?
And the light is gone?
Rain has been falling far too long.
My heart is crying,
Severed and dying.
Tomorrow will never come again,
Rage and hate will come instead.
On top of it all, I stand and watch,
Now wondering about those bright green eyes,
Green eyes by which I was once mesmerized?

And I want to fall into them, once again,
And I don?t want the light to leave, ever again...
​

BTW- If you know codes, look for certain letters in the main part of the poem~
 
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whoa...that's really sad...i hope it's not about...well anyway, it's really well written, good job..
 
Thanks =3
I had uber major writers block so...@_@;;;
 
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