Oh Officer, I can explain again

[VisionofMilotic]

Let's remake a classic. You or your pokemon are accused of something outrageous, and better use your post to explain yourself, and make an allegation for the next poster to respond to.

Hey, that looks like you have Ash's Pikachu tied in a sack. He reported it missing this morning. Are you Team Rocket?

 

[Captain Moonblast]

I am not Team Rocket, but allow me to introduce my team...
*Takes a theatrical pose.*
...
Know that it's a fact!
And make it exact!
To protect the world from ...

*While busy reciting her motto, Pikachu manages to escape and run away.*

--
Hold it! How can you Pokémon talk ? Are you a human disguised as a Pokémon ?

 

[VisionofMilotic]

"Human disguised as a Pokemon, human disguised as a pokemon," Chatot squawks, handing you the pokedex clutched in it's beak.

Its (a Chatot) tongue is just like a human's. As a result, it can cleverly mimic human speech. -Pokemon Platinum

Stop right there. The Victory road security guards at the gate called me to report that you're using counterfeit gym badges to get through the doors. These look like painted bottle caps! What do you have to say for yourself, you little cheat?

 

[Irn-Mew]

Well ...uh...you see, they might seem like counterfeit badges, but what actually happened is I was battling in the secret, undiscovered Bottleohto region. And um... I fought bravely against all the tough gym leaders and earned the Soda badge, the Milktop badge, the Beer badge, the Pog badge, the Screwtop badge, the Cork badge, the Ringpull badge and the PleaseKeepCapAttachedForRecyclingPurposes badge...


Hold it right there! I've had a report from Cycling Road about a stolen bicycle matching the description of the one you are currently riding. Care to explain?

 

[VisionofMilotic]

It's not a bike, I'm riding a Koraidon, and it can vouch that it is my pokemon, friend and partner. Isn't that right, Kory?



My Koraidon can't help being so cool that all bikes are made to look like it.

Stop right there you cheater, you are walking on the water, and not surfing on a pokemon, your defying the laws of gravity and the rules of pokemon gameplay.

 

[RadEmpoleon]

Not to worry officer, I am actually surfing on my Luvdisc. It's just so small that you can barely see it.

Hold it right there! Where did you get that Pidgey that knows Dragon Ascent? That CLEARLY is illegal!

 

[ReKoil]

this Pidgey was raised by a Rayquaza officer. It just calls Fly Dragon Ascent

Hang on a second... why are you not standing around waiting for the protagonist to show up and beat you in a Pokemon battle?

 

[RadEmpoleon]

Officer, I am one of the passerby NPCs in Alola who wanders aimlessly. Pay me no mind.

Hold it right there, delinquent! Where did you get that Dark type from? Everyone knows that there aren't any of those here in the Kanto region!

 

[Captain Moonblast]

Well, my fine officer, this here Murkrow is my friend, he been accompanying me on me travels since it hatched in front of me in a faraway island!

Hold it right there, bloody pirate! Why are you loading Pokéballs in this fine ship's cannons ?

 

[ReKoil]

Because the Spheal love seeing them being shot! It's just entertainment!

Why does your Dragonair look like this?