Oh slowpoke

[Farfetchd]

Oh slowpoke...Oh slowpoke
You remind me of the old folk
Oh so slow
You just go with the flow
Oh slowpoke...Oh Slowpoke
Oh so fat
Nothing like a Rattata tat tat
Oh slowpoke...Oh slowpoke....

 

[bobandbill]

We have a poetry subsection so songs and whatnot would also fit there, hence thread moved.

(As for the song itself.... it's short and rather over-the-place with subject matter I feel - goes from slow to it being fat without much expansion on those points which have some potential I feel if fleshed out - but I do wonder how a sung version of it would sound though. XD As another note, you might also want to keep the capitalisation consistent as you use both slowpoke and Slowpoke - stick to one rather than going with both.)

 

[Farfetchd]

We have a poetry subsection so songs and whatnot would also fit there, hence thread moved.

(As for the song itself.... it's short and rather over-the-place with subject matter I feel - goes from slow to it being fat without much expansion on those points which have some potential I feel if fleshed out - but I do wonder how a sung version of it would sound though. XD As another note, you might also want to keep the capitalisation consistent as you use both slowpoke and Slowpoke - stick to one rather than going with both.)

Well it was 1am when I wrote that it probobably is all screwy I just dont want to fix it....

 

[bobandbill]

IMO that's not the greatest approach to view writings though - sure, stuff written at 1am may not always turn out to be great (it rarely dos without any editing afterwards after all), but if you go and post it on the internet then you shouldn't be surprised to receive feedback on how to improve it, is all.

 

[Pokepal17]

I love this; I find it very comical. Comparing Slowpoke to old people - it works. :3
However, I agree with bobandbill. It does seem rather short, but it does have potential. :3