Outer Darkness; Inner Light

[DuelMastersKokujoFan]

Notes: Hi. This is my new Pokemon/Duel Masters crossover. Hopefully, this one will be better then my other one seeing no one replied to it so maybe it was not good. So I hope this one turns out to be a story better then my other. Please tell me what you think.


In this Pokemon/Duel Masters crossover just like my other one Kokujo will be the only character from Duel Masters to be in this and is the main character of the story. He will train Dark and Dragon types mostly, but he will also have a Normal/Flying and a Water type to even out the team. Trainers are allowed to have seven instead of six Pokemon with them in this story as long as they can find a place to keep all of them. All Pokemon I have made up belong to me as well as the new region (Polano), but other regions will be in this. This is rated T for Teens.

Prologue​

"Don't give up, Grahawk!" a trainer yelled over to her grass/flying type hawk like Pokemon. "Use Razor Leaf!"

"Gra!" it yelled sending a fury of razor sharp leaves towards its opponent—the Dark type Absol.

The Absol's trainer narrowed his eyes and yelled out: "Don't let it hit you, Darkness! Use Shadow Ball!"

Darkness sent a ball of black and purple energy into the air. It broke though the leaves and continued on towards the Grahawk. It never saw it coming. The Grass Hawk Pokemon was hit head on and fell to the ground—knocked out. Its trainer returned it.

"I can see that the others were right about you, Ko," the female trainer said. "You're one of the best!" She then closed her eyes in thought.

Kyoshiro Kokujo looked over at the trainer he had just beaten. A light gust of wind blew though his long dark blue hair. "What are you think about?" he said. "And don't say it's nothing because I can tell when someone has something on their mind."

The girl opened her eyes. "Since you ended up in the Pokemon World you have never left Silverleaf Town…"

"And your point is?"

"What I'm trying to get at is that the trainers here are not at your level of battle," the girl continued. "You should travel the Pokemon World searching for stronger trainers…" There was a pause. "Maybe you should head off to Sunola City. It's well known in Polano for being the capital of Pokemon Battling. There are also the other regions…and I know that you want to find out the reason you were sent to our world."

Kokujo took this in. She was right in a way. He had no idea on how he had gotten to this world—the Pokemon World or if there was a reason for why or not. He closed his eyes. "I'll go." He then returned Darkness and turned—walking away.

Prologue End​

 

[Astinus]

About the no reviews thing: Take a look around the Fanfic section. Notice how dead it is? Don't expect that you will have hundreds of reviews as soon as you post your story. Have patience.

Now, for the story itself. The note that you have in the beginning explaining about Kokujo, the region, and the fakemon should all be in your story. Maybe you want to warn readers that there will be fakemon and a new region. That's fine. But the types that Kokujo will train and the amount of Pokemon one can carry is information that can fit in your story.

You have a, shall I say, lack of description skills. I couldn't picture anything in my head. The problem with fakemon is that your readers don't have any idea about them. They are your creation. It's up to you to describe them well enough that I can see what you see, or something close. And not only should you do this with fakemon, but you should do it with the other characters. I've never watched Duel Masters before, so I don't know what Kokujo looks like. You should be able to describe him enough so that I can see him.

And yes, description also comes for the setting too. When you have your own region, you should share enough details about it so that readers can see things.

Your grammar also needs a little touch-up. You seem to have a problem with homophones, or words that sound the same but mean different things. I'll point out the instances where this happens, and the word you should have instead.

razor sharp leaves towards it's opponent

Wrong one. What you have there is the contraction "it is". The possesive is formed without the apostrophe.

It's trainer returned it.

Same thing as above.

"Your one of the best!"

What you have here is the possesive form. You want the contraction "you are", which would be "you're".

"And don't say it's nothing because I can tell when someone has something on there mind."

What you want here is the possesive "their".

And there you have it. A review. I'll check back on later chapters to see how you're doing.

 

[DuelMastersKokujoFan]

Notes: The story is only beginning so not a lot will happen for the first few chapters. I'll tell you when some of the more major chapters appear.

Part 1

Chapter 1​

The water from a waterfall fell with a steady rhythm. Kokujo stood looking at it thinking—trying to figure out why he had ended up in the Pokemon World. He had started out on his way to the city the girl had called 'Sunola City' and only stopped to think for a while.

"Geot?"

Kokujo turned and looked towards his Pidgeot. "Just thinking, Wingster." When he had first gotten to the Pokemon World back within a cave just north of Silverleaf Town he had found seven Pokeballs just lying there—looking as if they belonged to him from the start and ever since he had bonded with his Pokemon. To Kokujo these seven Pokemon were better then the most powerful Darkness Civilization card. "We're going to Sunola City. The battles will be tougher, but that's the whole point of us going." A light wind started blowing.

Kokujo got on Wingster and the Pidgeot took to the sky flying towards Sunola City. Unknown to Kokujo his real adventure would soon begin.

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Farther away in a tower in the neighboring region of Sonar a red haired man dressed in black and red was looking though notes. He looked over to where a young women with shoulder lengh black hair was. "Shad?"

The young women approached the man. "You've been in here for the past week, Darkus," she said.

Darkus, the leader of a team known as Team PokeStar looked towards one of his top commanders though narrowed eyes. "I'm working on figuring out the notes about the Legendary Summons. I don't need to be bothered right now."

"Derek thinks he has found something," Shad continued. She took a item out of her pocket and showed it to there leader. "Any idea what this is?"

Darkus looked over to the item Shad was showing him. It was a small crystal glass ball. "That's a Summon Orb!" he said ditching the notes and walked over to look at the orb more closely. He looked back at Shad. "Where did Derek say he found this?"

"Near Sapphire Bay in the Polano region," was Shad's answer.

"That is near Sunola City," Darkus replied. "Send some agents to look around there if this Summon Orb was there then maybe there are others."

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Wingster landed outside the gates of Sunola City. Kokujo returned the bird Pokemon and then looked towards the city. It was like all cities—big, but it was one of the biggest cities he had ever seen. Had to be to hold all of its battle fields, stadiums, shops, and the famous Polano Battle Tower.

"Are you new to the city?" a voice said from behind him and he turned to see a girl about his age with medium lengh brown hair streaked though with black.

"Yeah," Kokujo answered. "If you want to show me around don't bother asking—I can find my own way around."

"You seem pretty cold," this girl said. "How can people be your friends if you put them off like this?"

"I don't need friends."

Kokujo walked past her and entered the city. She looked on after him confused.

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Many people were battling on the streets of Sunola City. Even if there were battle arenas and stadiums all over the city some still preferred to battle out in the open of those just passing though. Kokujo looked at them then a random trainer walked up to him.

"I've never seen you around here before," he said. "New around here." He was holding a Pokeball as if he wanted to battle.

"New here? Yes," Kokujo answered. He took out a Pokeball. "If you want a battle I except."

The other trainer threw a Pokeball sending out a small white/green spirit like Pokemon. It has wings that looked like those of a Lugia, but this creature was much smaller.

"Get ready, Lomoka," its trainer said.

Kokujo threw the Pokeball he was holding. "Come out, Darkbre!"

The Pokeball opened to reveal a Umbreon. "Bre!"

Kokujo's Umbreon, Darkbre VS Random Trainers Lomoka

BATTLE BEGIN!

"Lomoka, use your Bubble Beam!"

"Darkbre, use Protect!"

The Lomoka sent a streamed of energy bubbles towards Darkbre. The Umbreon formed a shield of energy and protected it from the Bubble Beam.

"Now," Kokujo yelled. "Attack with Hidden Power!"

Small balls of light formed around Darkbre and it sent them off towards the 'Sea Spirit' Pokemon. The balls of light slammed into it sending it across the street and onto the hard floor.

Its trainer was about to return it when he spotted something in the direction of Sapphire Bay—a beach that served as one of Polano's biggest ports. A large glowing dome of light could be seen. "What is that?"

Kokujo was staring in the direction as well. The light seemed familiar to him somehow—but where had he seen it before. Without thinking he ran in the direction of the light.

"Bre?" Darkbre said confused and chased after its trainer.

The boy Kokujo had been battling was soon joined by the girl from before—the one Kokujo has met before entering the city. The two look at each other and then followed Kokujo towards Sapphire Bay.

Chapter 1 of Part 1 End​

 

[Astinus]

You're doing much better with this chapter! Your description skills have improved, and your grammar also became much better. ^_^ That's really great!

Just a few grammar things. It's again with the homophones.

Even if there were battle arenas and stadiums all over the city some still preferred to battle out in the open of those just passing though.

"through"

"If you want a battle I except."

"accept"

I'm glad that you are taking my advice. Now I definitely want to come back and read more of your fic! Especially now that it is more interesting, with the occurance of the light. Good luck to you!

(By the way, I haven't had a chance to watch those episodes yet. I've been busy with school work. Don't worry, I'll get to them.)