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Pokémon Fallout (OOC/SU)

@dcjboi: Oh... That's so... vague. I could ramble on about nothing and everything, but that sounds pretty painful on my part. /Most/ of what you should know should be explained in the first post. If you have any questions a tad more specific, I could probably answer those.

I will say that lore is hidden among the ruins of civilization. Hailey is well-read, and Arcea by extension. If you ever desire your character to discover odd information, feel free to ask me to provide you with stuff. Things like fallen books, and writings and paintings on walls. Sinnoh is the most lore-rich region in all of Pokemon. There's stuff to learn both about the region and about pokespirits themselves.

Every town has a story to tell. All you need to do is ask for it.

I will pass you a slight tidbit of information that's noooot reaaaaaaaally a secret though. Regarding disease. Without proper medication and immunizations, there is a fair amount of it. Given, fused pokespirit wielders will easily overpower virus, bacteria, or fungus based diseases. However, pokespirit wielders are very much mune to prion based diseases and cannot fight them off any better than humans...

Thing being nobody knows what a prion is anymore in the world of Fallout. Not... unless you read medical books~

Rumor has it among people in general that those whom indulge in cannibalism are eventually driven insane by the guilt. There are supposedly many eyewitnesses to this phenomenon. Your character very well may have already heard of it. In fact chances are they've heard it at least once at some point or another. But... was it guilt?
 
hey, pkmntrainer yellow, me and espoengirl are camping tomorrow and the day after, so we wont be posting.
 
Name:absolase breatheder

Nickname (Optional):absol ace

Age (10-13):10

Sex (Male or Female):male

Appearance (A picture can be provided instead of a description if you so wish.):
[PokeCommunity.com] Pokémon Fallout (OOC/SU)


Personality (How does your character act and react to others? Their mental state? Flaws and/or personal weaknesses?): absolase is very cold towards other pokemon exept his own. he rarely approaches other humans for fear of embarresment of losing. he cannot seem to break out of his shell, but get scared when he does. effectively rendering him without anyone but his absol, his lifelong partner.

History (Where did your character grow up? Who did they grow up with? What have the been doing before this? Any noteworthy events?): absolase grew up in poverty in solacon town, as he was orphaned as a child because his mother(a widow herself) died at childbirth. when he was 6 he was rescued and sent to celestic town where he was taken care of by cynthia's grandmother breifley until he returned to the streets meeting an absol on route 211,that absol became his best partner forever.

Pokéspirit (No legendaries. Alternate color schemes are allowed.)
Species:an absol with white claws and scythe

Nickname (Optional):absaster

Personality (Can be as short or long as you want):pretty much the same as absolase but is cold towards other humans aswell

Moves (Maximum of 6. TM and egg moves are allowed. These are the moves your character gets when they fuse):
sucker punch
night slash
swords dance
superpower
megahorn
stone edge

Other (Optional): absols ability is super luck. absolase has the fortunate power to remember everything so he always remember someone picky, and will deal with them later.

Opening Post (This will be what we use to determine whether your writing skills are good enough. If accepted, you may feel free to copy paste your post here into the IC thread.): I would recommend a minimum of 8 lines and a maximum of 20, but it's your choice.

''hmm time to get out of here. i don't think those gengar are freindly''

'' so what, lets fight our way out of here'' absol communicated to absolase
the 2 fused together and using a few swift swipes of night slash, the gengar were down.

'' come on, lets head to hearthome city . time to leave this barren wasteland.''
 
@Danaxe: The opening post is the most important part of these sign-ups. It's the primary grading area. Yours... violates the forum's 4 line minimum rule. However, there are some other issues...

That being said, there are multiple things that need addressing. I'm going to copy, paste, and bold the problem parts and then respond to them individually.

"absolase is very cold towards other pokemon exept his own" - Pokemon are extinct, pokespirit wielders can't really interact with pokespirits other than their own to begin with.

"he rarely approaches other humans for fear of embarresment of losing." - This feels out of place, mainly because embarrassment should be the least of his worries in a fight that would very much threaten his life.

"when he was 6 he was rescued and sent to celestic town where he was taken care of by cynthia's grandmother breifley until he returned to the streets meeting an absol on route 211," - Cynthia's grandmother has without a doubt moved on from the world by the time the RP has started, as well as the champion herself. You'd be lucky if Cynthia's theoretical kids were even alive. It's been about a hundred years, give a few, and the average human life span doesn't even come close to half that anymore generally.

Secondly... Pokemon are extinct, and their spirits are confined only to Mt. Coronet. Pokespirits can only be obtained at the age of ten at the earliest regardless. Didn't you notice the part of the SU about fusing? x_x




This RP isn't really one you can effectively get into without either reading the short story on the first post or being filled in by someone who has. It explains the entire concept, which is rather unique and has it's own set of lore and all that jazz. Overall, it feels like you just... didn't try. And that's honestly not going to fly.

Also, Sinnoh is devoid of Pokemon, not plant-life. It's the exact opposite of barren. Quite pretty, if not eerily empty to look at. o_o;
 
Yellow. Like What kinds of animals are Lore friendly? Are there any side-factions? And finally what buildings in Veilstone and Jubilife are intact for at least scavenging?
 
SU Revise

***Just edited some of the personality and history tabs***
​

Name: Bayani

Nickname (Optional): Bay

Age: 11

Sex (Male or Female): Male

Appearance: Bay has long black silk like hair worn in a ponytail that goes back down to the mid section of his torso.
Dark Skinned from "wandering the wastes" for a year. He is slim, has brown eyes, and is tall for his age. He wears patched grey
boots that he found while scavenging and managed to repair. He also wears a purple scarf around his neck that was given to him
by Kenny. He somehow managed to maintain hygiene his life. He wears patched up trousers and a strapped pauldron he found in an
abandoned store and wears a black, high collar shirt.

Personality: Bay is very cautious observant and mild from spending a year alone in the wastes excluding his poke spirit. He is also non-aggressive unless tempted. If he is surprised he can immediately become violent. He is also very protective, loyal, and a quick thinker. He has instinct made for battle but dislikes risks so rarely does it unless necessary out of fear of losing his Eevee. He is unaccustomed to socializing due to being alone for so long but he retained his sanity. He is very inventive even repairing R.I.L. (radio Interface layer) he uses for picking up radio signals for news and music and he loves to tinker with technology. He is somewhat flexible to situations. Bay has a high pain tolerance and endurance making up for his lower than average raw strength and his neurotic behavior when dealing with death.

History: Bay wandered the "wastes" of the world for about a year after escaping from Eterna City after receiving his Pokemon
Spirit. He never knew his parents as they were killed by raiders soon after abandoning him and leaving him for dead until found by scavengers from Eterna. Although he doesn't even know anything about his parents, his Father had a job similar to being a bounty hunter specializing in killing poke spirits. His mother was something of a engineer and she actually had another child, who she also sold away in Eterna, unknowing to anyone else. When Bay got to the age of 8 He was sent part of Eterna's labor and ever since arriving in Eterna he planned to run away, not knowing that the majority of the world was in ruins. He escaped from Eterna with a group of children including his friend named Kenny, who gave Bay his scarf. They attempted to bolt away from the city but they got split up in the process while on their way to Children's City due to a large group of adults that attacked them on the way out of the city. During this ambush the rest of their group except for an older kid named Alex (who actually informed the adults of their escape plan) died. Neither Kenny nor Bay knew how to get to children's city, although they heard rumors of it being almost a sanctuary for children from adults. So now Bay is lost and wanders the waste in search of either Children's city or his friend. He survived the year by scavenging
from abandoned stores and avoiding conflict.

PokÈspirit Species: Eevee

Nickname: Flow

Personality: Flow is Loyal and Mild like Bay. Flow is well balanced for survival and conflict based on his speed and adaptability.
flow is also calm but quick to anger if anyone threatens his or Bay's safety. Flow also enjoys reading and art so he gets Bay to
carry certain things he finds around such as pictures or books. Flow is Bay's only companion except for Kenny and Bay is Flow's only companion for vice versa. Flow generally disapproves human behavior due to the state of what used to be, from what he's read, almost a paradise for people.

Moves: Dig, Iron Tail, Return, Wish, Double Team, Last Resort

Other: Can detect things easily and escape from combat quickly. High Perception. Adaptable to environment. When fused Bay becomes exceptionally agile. Has a higher than average jump, faster running speed, although he isn't strong in terms of brute strength against other poke spirits.
 
@dcjboi: Looks alright to me. Gotcha.

Also, according to official game canon, animals are not a thing, and that word honestly has no reason to even exist. Pokemon are the equivalent replacement.

That was kind of one of the big reasons pokemon disappearing wrecked humanity's day. They suddenly had exactly nothing other than vegetation to eat and went from having enough food to nowhere near enough to support the population. This was partially because of a complete and total lack of meat and partially because Pokemon played a heavy role in helping humans farm efficiently. They didn't have tools and machines. Pokemon were always far superior to them.


Also, Jubilife is one of the four major cities. Approximately 10% of it's buildings have collapsed to some degree and approximately 30% have suffered some sort of major structual damage. It's full of adults, and slave children. Because of Jubilife's government body's hatred towards pokespirit wielders it's a dangerous place to be if you don't want to gather attention.

However, you can find plenty of things to scavenge there if you're willing to risk being attacked by enslaved wielders.


Veilstone is a ghost town. The department store is a heap of rubble, and the warehouse area has suffered approximately 50% destruction. 50% of the rest of the town has suffered major structural damage but has not collapsed in any significant way. You could find a small amount of supplies if you're lucky, but the town has been mostly ransacked of useful things. Team Galactic's HQ stands strong however, and may contain interesting lore considering it's former occupants.

All ghost towns are very eerie, containing evidence of past residences, such as furniture, an unkempt bed, dolls, silverware. Other things like that. Veilstone is no exception. You may even find forgotten clothes, though these are considered to be of at least some value.
 
It's implied that animals may have existed at one point, do exist, or fictionally exist somewhere in the canon (most of them). They're never proven to have existed, but they appear in sayings and dialog, pokedex entries that reference them directly, and humans (which may or may not be an animal) existing. Granted, one could easily write those things off as "being there because it's a game" and used as devices for relatability, since it'd be pretty hard to believe that the Pokedex would, in a real scenario (or a higher rated, more surrealistic scenario), have such trivial information as it does in the games, and really, a lot of things about the Pokeuniverse could be scene in the same light.

That said, it is neither important nor provable.
 
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I'm assuming she passed over it. If you need a critique as soon as you can get it, the first thing from me would end up being that it's EXTREMELY short. Yes, you did it on your 3DS, but there should be no problem being able to hit the Edit button when you have access to a computer.

The personality is very bare; pretty much anything to expand on this would be beneficial.

Another requirement is a fused appearance alongside the normal one; while it still has to be recognizably human, all Pokémon Spirit users take on various Pokémon traits while fused. Pale green skin is a good start, in the case of a Bayleef spirit. A leaf on his head, anything.

The history will need expansion, too. How was he raised if he had to be raised incognito? Obviously he must have been rather sheltered considering almost every adult in Jubilife City either hates children with a burning passion or fears their ability to use Pokémon spirits with a warm sensation in their upper trouser region. Since he hadn't gotten his PokéSpirit until after his parents were executed, what stopped the adults from killing or enslaving Nick, too? He couldn't have just "managed to escape." That's what really makes the history a dealbreaker of sorts.
Also, Mount Coronet isn't in ruins (nor is the rest of Sinnoh for that matter, just devoid of non-human life); Mount Coronet is a mountain, so it's very much intact.

However, I do applaud your choice in adding Sleep Powder as a move, though may I suggest replacing Sweet Scent with something else? Even Reflect or Synthesis would benefit Nick more than Sweet Scent. (Actually, considering Meg doesn't like to hurt people, a defense-oriented moveset would fit MUCH better instead of having four damaging attacks.)
 
@Machomuu: They also reference real life dragons, a mythical creature... The pokedex reference to 'real life creatures' is really just fourth wall breakage, so it doesn't really imply anything other than that Game Freak gets lazy sometimes.

@Damanlyguy: It'd be nice to be able to prioritize helping people with quick questions over reviewing SUs without being vilified. Just saying.

...I'm afraid I can't accept this. It's your responsibility to take however long you need to write something that meets up to quality standards, especially regarding SUs.
 
Edited my SU post.

I meant that I'm doing the entire thing from a 3ds browser because I don't have access to a computer that doesn't block forum sights. I'm going to probably not going to be typing a novel in a post like some people do because my wrists get sore (like they are now) when you type alot on a touch screen keyboard without really stopping.

I will put some thought into continuing the sample post (what to add to it). I was wondering whether I should post the continuation as a seperate post or an edit.
 
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Yellow Like I previous stated earlier. I'm still kindof new in Rping and I just want to thank you for all the work you do. Also I'm not really great at controlling Non (Role) Player Characters So any advice would help me a ton everyone.
 
@damanlyguy, please take as long as you need to produce sufficient work. It doesn't have to be long; it just needs to be expanded on. If you need something to get an idea from, maybe reading other sign-ups will help you out. (Also, if you need access to forum sites on a computer, I have a nice trick for Windows you might find some use out of.)

@dcjboi, generally, NPCs don't need much work unless they're bosses or significant characters in a PC's plot line like an archenemy. An NPC can really just be any random character, it doesn't even need real information.
 
@Damanly: You should ideally copy paste your SU into a new post and edit from there...

Now, I need to tell you this right now, because it could become a serious problem in the future. Using a 3DS simply isn't an excuse for making posts that fall under quality standards. It's just not fair to other people, as it impacts their roleplaying experience. That's the board's stance and it's mine. I absolutely cannot excuse you from the board's quality standards even if I wanted to.

So if using a 3DS cripples your ability to write to the point you can't meet quality standards, I honestly need to recommend you focus on getting something else to write with before you start joining an RP.

I for one frequently post from my phone and never violate quality standards.

@dcjboi: Thank you very much. I appreciate the acknowledgement and the thanks. c: NPC characters aren't really different from normal characters, but you should generally not be posting from the eyes of an NPC. That is to say, you should only be playing NPCs through the eyes of another character. If the NPC leaves or otherwise becomes alone, you should stop writing what they're doing.

If the NPC is also a plot character they're an exception though. So if you ever see me playing NPCs independently of other characters it's because I'm the GM and that means I'll be doing plot stuff at times. A plot character is simply an NPC that is being used for plot purposes instead of simple interaction purposes.
 
@Yellow Well my character is currently wandering and I planned to have him visit Jubilife and Veilstone so I just wanted to get a background for my next post
 
@dcjboi: If you give my most recent post as Lucy a brief look, specifically at the part where I describe Oreburgh, you'll get a good idea of what to expect from Veilstone. Litter/debris all over the place. Supernatural feelings of eeriness. Only, y'know, tailored for that particular city, which I gave before. :P But yeah! Knock yourself out.

Veilstone is a ghost town. The department store is a heap of rubble, and the warehouse area has suffered approximately 50% destruction. 50% of the rest of the town has suffered major structural damage but has not collapsed in any significant way. You could find a small amount of supplies if you're lucky, but the town has been mostly ransacked of useful things. Team Galactic's HQ stands strong however, and may contain interesting lore considering it's former occupants.

All ghost towns are very eerie, containing evidence of past residences, such as furniture, an unkempt bed, dolls, silverware. Other things like that. Veilstone is no exception. You may even find forgotten clothes, though these are considered to be of at least some value.
Click to expand...
 
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