FireRed hack: Pokémon Neon

[2RandomStudios]

Well guys, I'm finally picking the hack up again! It's been a while but I finally have some more time to spend on it so I hope to be releasing some updates soon!

 

[Spherical Ice]

You, as a new Pokémon trainer explore the Kanto region in the events preceding Fire Red. But as you begin your adventure into this brand new world, you soon discover that there is a new threat against Pokémon, Team Aurora. It is your duty to discover the secrets of Kanto and the mysterious Pokémon Jirachi in this exciting and fresh story.

Okay, interesting idea. You could probably develop it a little, with a bit of backstory, explain what Kanto is like now, hint at what Team Aurora's aims may be (some effects they are having on the region). It's probably not the best idea to start a sentence with "but," but I digress. Oh, and it's spelled "preceeding." :D

• New maps - I'm sorry, but this is to be expected in a new hack - it's hardly a feature.
• New story - See above.
• All custom scripts - See above.
• Several Generation IV Pokémon - I guess that's cool, though isn't this Kanto?
• Choose a starter from any of the first 3 generations - Okay, I'm not a fan of such a huge choice of starters. I think it's better to make only three available at the start, and then make others available throughout the hack.
• Darkness Pokémon - Kay...not sure where you're going with this. Is this like the darkness Pokémon of Colosseum, or what?
• Chuggaaconroy is a trainer, featuring his entire Fire Red team! (if you don't know who this is, then look him up on youtube, best lets player and Fire Red walkthrough ever) - Okay, that's a...nice, idea. Though I probably wouldn't call him Chuggaconroy, maybe something like Roy, and then have an NPC near him saying that "he's a great trainer!" or something. Idk.
• More coming soon! - Okay, this doesn't really get people interested - it says that you've got no more ideas/came up with these features on the spot. Just say "and many more," or nothing at all :D.

Crit in italics.

Okay, first question: Which titlescreen is the right one? I'm guessing the first is the one you want to insert, as that Pokémon logo looks like it's raising the palette way over 256, and the second is the one you have inserted. Anyway, that text's gradient doesn't help at all, is hard to read (especially that text in the bottom-left corner of the first screen (I actually can't read it)). It's also been resized improperly in the first screen which looks really tacky - as does the Jirachi, which not only looks bad stretched, but has large white spaces which should be transparent. As for the second screen, well, it's essentially a recolour of the FR titlescreen with some tacky text and a Jirachi sprite thrown in there. I'd probably get a spriter to sprite a larger version of Jirachi for your titlescreen.

Isn't it "Punch-Out!!!"? Anyway, average screens. It doesn't really tell me much about the hack though, does it? Except the fact that the carpet in the second screen is just empty. I doubted it was possible to have too much empty space in a house map, but you've managed to. Bring back that table!

Okay, there're two tile errors at the mountain part going to the right - it's missing two "tops". I'm not really a fan of making the player walk on that mountain tile, or walk down a one-tile-wide path, so this screen doesn't really help I'm afraid. Try to always give the player at the very least two tiles to walk, though generally spaces should be about four tiles wide.

Like I've said, I'd rather have only three choices, and then have all the others available throughout the hack through other means of getting them (sidequests, game corner, trades, etc.).

Okay, it seems a bit odd receiving your Pokédex in a cave, but I'm not sure how you want your hack to go so I guess it's near the beginning of the game anyway. The maps not too great though, there are one-tile-wide paths again and it could do with a bit more detail (craters, sand, water, different rocks, rock smash/strentgh boulders (they don't always need a purpose), etc.).

Text colour would be nice - it's a male talking, so make it blue coloured text.

The entrance doesn't seem to connect to the cave properly though that could be fixed with three simple block edits, though you probably should have noticed that before screenshotting it.

The turquoise palette could be mellowed a little.

This looks more like a Pokécenter to me. You should probably stick with the Mart's tiles and add in the staircase. Also, I don't really think I'd be a happy clerk having to be squashed in like that. Give it more space (though, again, this would look better in the Mart's tiles) and put only one of those statues - and move it out of the way.

I don't know if this is the first dialogue that the characters say, but if not it'd probably nice to put something like "GRUNT: I didn't realize we had visitors!" (yeah, that "that" isn't really needed). The map looks pretty mundane and is symmetrical, which is a big no-no when mapping. Try and make it a bit more curvy etc., and more like an island. Even Game Freak maps aren't this square.

cool story bro.

Anyway, good luck with this hack.

 

[BouncedMr Happy]

This looks like a great hack, I will play it just for Chuggaaconroy, but you should incorporate SSoHPKC as a trainer with his team (TrollDrill included!).

 

[2RandomStudios]

Okay, interesting idea. You could probably develop it a little, with a bit of backstory, explain what Kanto is like now, hint at what Team Aurora's aims may be (some effects they are having on the region). It's probably not the best idea to start a sentence with "but," but I digress. Oh, and it's spelled "preceeding." :D



Crit in italics.

Okay, first question: Which titlescreen is the right one? I'm guessing the first is the one you want to insert, as that Pokémon logo looks like it's raising the palette way over 256, and the second is the one you have inserted. Anyway, that text's gradient doesn't help at all, is hard to read (especially that text in the bottom-left corner of the first screen (I actually can't read it)). It's also been resized improperly in the first screen which looks really tacky - as does the Jirachi, which not only looks bad stretched, but has large white spaces which should be transparent. As for the second screen, well, it's essentially a recolour of the FR titlescreen with some tacky text and a Jirachi sprite thrown in there. I'd probably get a spriter to sprite a larger version of Jirachi for your titlescreen.

Isn't it "Punch-Out!!!"? Anyway, average screens. It doesn't really tell me much about the hack though, does it? Except the fact that the carpet in the second screen is just empty. I doubted it was possible to have too much empty space in a house map, but you've managed to. Bring back that table!

Okay, there're two tile errors at the mountain part going to the right - it's missing two "tops". I'm not really a fan of making the player walk on that mountain tile, or walk down a one-tile-wide path, so this screen doesn't really help I'm afraid. Try to always give the player at the very least two tiles to walk, though generally spaces should be about four tiles wide.

Like I've said, I'd rather have only three choices, and then have all the others available throughout the hack through other means of getting them (sidequests, game corner, trades, etc.).

Okay, it seems a bit odd receiving your Pokédex in a cave, but I'm not sure how you want your hack to go so I guess it's near the beginning of the game anyway. The maps not too great though, there are one-tile-wide paths again and it could do with a bit more detail (craters, sand, water, different rocks, rock smash/strentgh boulders (they don't always need a purpose), etc.).

Text colour would be nice - it's a male talking, so make it blue coloured text.

The entrance doesn't seem to connect to the cave properly though that could be fixed with three simple block edits, though you probably should have noticed that before screenshotting it.

The turquoise palette could be mellowed a little.

This looks more like a Pokécenter to me. You should probably stick with the Mart's tiles and add in the staircase. Also, I don't really think I'd be a happy clerk having to be squashed in like that. Give it more space (though, again, this would look better in the Mart's tiles) and put only one of those statues - and move it out of the way.

I don't know if this is the first dialogue that the characters say, but if not it'd probably nice to put something like "GRUNT: I didn't realize we had visitors!" (yeah, that "that" isn't really needed). The map looks pretty mundane and is symmetrical, which is a big no-no when mapping. Try and make it a bit more curvy etc., and more like an island. Even Game Freak maps aren't this square.

cool story bro.

Anyway, good luck with this hack.

I guess I have alot of work to do then! Thanks for the suggestions, but just remember that this is my first hack and it's done in what little free time I have. I will look for someone to create and insert a title screen but it would be nice if you had some suggestions as to who could do that.

 

[Snakebyte]

...Sorry, SphericalIce, but it's actually not spelled preceeding. The spelling he used, preceding, is correct. The word you were thinking of is proceeding, which is not appropriate here. This would be why the forum applies the little red squiggly spell check line thing to the word 'preceeding' and not to 'preceding'.

If you're going to go to the effort of attempting to point out grammar and spelling errors in someone else's work, please make sure what you are pointing out is actually incorrect, okay? ;)

 

[Collen]

Well, it sounds nice, but I don't get the point of telling us when you update if you don't put up any screenshots of it. Even a bitmap of the OW sprites your inserting would be nice. As for the images you do have up, I can't really tell much besides where you get stuff like running shoes. Also Ace Trainer grunts for some reason.

 

[Spherical Ice]

I guess I have alot of work to do then! Thanks for the suggestions, but just remember that this is my first hack and it's done in what little free time I have. I will look for someone to create and insert a title screen but it would be nice if you had some suggestions as to who could do that.

but just remember that this is my first hack

this is my first hack

That's not a valid excuse, mate. I know you've accepted my crit anyway, but please, please, PLEASE, don't use that as an excuse.

I'm not the greatest at making titlescreens, however in my opinion, I think sticking to pretty much the basics of FireRed's titlescreen (ie the position of the Press Start, the top and bottom bars (not the really thick black ones), the location of the Pokémon: FireRed Version text, etc.) looks best, and more professional. But whatever, do what you like. :D

...Sorry, SphericalIce, but it's actually not spelled preceeding. The spelling he used, preceding, is correct. The word you were thinking of is proceeding, which is not appropriate here. This would be why the forum applies the little red squiggly spell check line thing to the word 'preceeding' and not to 'preceding'.

If you're going to go to the effort of attempting to point out grammar and spelling errors in someone else's work, please make sure what you are pointing out is actually incorrect, okay? ;)

Okay, I suppose that was kind of stupid of me, however it isn't the forum that provides the spell check, it's certain plugins for certain browsers, and I haven't one. So...I guess that's kind of a "right back at you thing." Anyway, thanks for pointing that out to me. :D

and it's Spherical Ice >:

 

[Snakebyte]

XD. Nicely played, sir. Nicely played.

 

[2RandomStudios]

That's not a valid excuse, mate. I know you've accepted my crit anyway, but please, please, PLEASE, don't use that as an excuse.

I'm not the greatest at making titlescreens, however in my opinion, I think sticking to pretty much the basics of FireRed's titlescreen (ie the position of the Press Start, the top and bottom bars (not the really thick black ones), the location of the Pokémon: FireRed Version text, etc.) looks best, and more professional. But whatever, do what you like. :D


Okay, I suppose that was kind of stupid of me, however it isn't the forum that provides the spell check, it's certain plugins for certain browsers, and I haven't one. So...I guess that's kind of a "right back at you thing." Anyway, thanks for pointing that out to me. :D

and it's Spherical Ice >:

I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, I want to make sure that the hack is judged from the standpoint that I am new to hacking, not that I'm a veteran. Anyways, thanks for the suggestions.

 

[Fezao4]

Wow!Good luck whit all!Very interiesing game!But that means you can catch Jirachi in this game?But Jirachi isnt from Hoenn?The main character are exploring Kanto region not Hoenn...

 

[war rock exe]

lol chuggaconroy?! I can't wait to see that :)

Good job with the hack :)

 

[2RandomStudios]

Wow!Good luck whit all!Very interiesing game!But that means you can catch Jirachi in this game?But Jirachi isnt from Hoenn?The main character are exploring Kanto region not Hoenn...

This is Kanto in the past; much is different. This lets me have some liberty with what I do.

 

[zZJoennZz]

Okay, I will give you some thoughts about the hack.

The story is good but it's pretty short for hack, so if you make it more long it will be more interesting to play.​

And the text on the titlescreen is bad and not going well but the rest of the screenshot is good like the background just wanna say about the colors of the text.
About the feature, it's so good but it looks pretty overused by other hackers, I always seen that on other hacks, so I think add more feature that the other hack doesn't have.

 

[2RandomStudios]

Okay, I will give you some thoughts about the hack.

The story is good but it's pretty short for hack, so if you make it more long it will be more interesting to play.​

And the text on the titlescreen is bad and not going well but the rest of the screenshot is good like the background just wanna say about the colors of the text.
About the feature, it's so good but it looks pretty overused by other hackers, I always seen that on other hacks, so I think add more feature that the other hack doesn't have.

I see I need to update the tread then. Understand that my goal here isn't to have more features than everyone else, but to have a prominent story and quality gameplay. (It doesn't say alpha 1 for nothing!) The story has evolved much since I wrote this months ago so its probably not the best example I could have. It is possible that I will start this hack over on a new rom and just import most of my maps and scripts that are good. Other than that most of them will be redone, the right way.

Thanks

 

[2RandomStudios]

Well guys this hack is pretty much dead. Because of this, I will be giving out all the project files and such to someone who wants to continue the project for me. Please PM me to request this.

Thank you

 

[colcolstyles]

Well then, no sense in keeping this open.

Closed