Yuoaman
I don't know who I am either.
- 4,582
- Posts
- 19
- Years
- Age 32
- Ontario, Canada
- Seen May 19, 2024
My interest in this has been re-sparked after several months of Quartz just sitting there on my hard drive. Hopefully I'll be able to see this all the way through this time around.
Once again I'd like to thank Zorak, of the Something Awful forums, who inspired this play-through.
Well, here we go:
[OLD UPDATES (with small changes)]
Pokemon Quartz is a Hack of Ruby created by Baro several years ago.
UPDATE 1
Spoiler:
Okay, pretty standard opening for a game/hack...
Huh!? "Boar"...? I don't speak Spanish but I don't think Boar means anything relevant...
What is that riding on the turkey-thing's back!?
It's... it's kind of like Kyogre, with all the coolness removed.
It's a... slime-prostitute?
Wow... early incarnations of Sack-Boy are really disappointing, eh?
O_o I don't think that's a font, do you?
Seems like the best option, doesn't it?
Ahhhh! You just appeared out of the shadows! Sorcerer!
O-okay sure... Mr. Sorcerer...
That doesn't sound like a real town, are you making this up?
I don't think I've ever seen you before in my life, Mr. Baro-Sorcerer...
That sounds just like a random word, I'm sure we have not met before you popped out of the shadows at me...
See! Another random word! You're crazy, Baro-Sorcerer. And why do you have a pig-monstrosity?
So that's what that pig is... still doesn't explain why it's here or why it's so ugly...
That's one Sorcerer's opinion...
Lovely!? And we use them? I'm even less comfortable around you than I was before, Mr. Baro-Sorcerer.
I'm just a tad more comfortable... But still, why should I be allowed to use these to fight my friends to death, but not my enemies?
Is that supposed to make sense, like really? Y'know what a real mystery is? Where you came from and how you got here!
So you aren't going to leave yet?
Tell me what? O_o
Well, now's the moment of truth, PC!
ARE WE A:
GIRL?
OR ARE WE A:
BOY?
And what is our name? Seven characters only, remember.
UPDATE 2
Spoiler:
Thanks to PyroYahtzee I can continue my game! Here's the conversation that lead to my name and gender...
Yuoaman: Please, I'm bored, and want to continue the game... I just need to know my gender and name!!
PyroYahtzee: fine
PyroYahtzee: Male
PyroYahtzee: Steven
PyroYahtzee: kthx
______________________________________________________________________
So... it appears that I am now:
Mwahahahahaha!!
What truck?! You're not making sense, again!
*gasp* You disappeared! Darn you Baro-Sorcerer!
Oh god no... he's back... *cries*
Yes, Ja Ja, whatever- just leave me alone!
Of course I'm ready, I was ready the first time you disappeared...
As long as they aren't you I'd prefer to spend time with a serial killer, than you...
Phew... he's finally gone...
Oh god no! He's back!
Whatever, Baro-Sorcerer...
So it appears I was in a truck...
Why couldn't I just go with you?
You're in cahoots with that Sorcerer!? Why mom, why!?
I guess... I don't speak wind mom... I'm still kind of in shock that you were okay with me being alone in a truck with Baro...
Look at you like what?
Breaking the fourth wall, are you now?
So Kinboxos are the Cornian version of Mexican laborers, eh?
Well, since you said 'pliz'...
CLOCK SETTING COMMENCES
Did you just say "etc..."?
Yeah, that sounded far creepier than it had a right to be...
Oh! Did I mention? In Quartz the children are banished to the basement, like the unclean filth it seems we are.
Free Crap!!
Oh god no...
I know... I know...
Has he died or something, 'cause that'd make me smile... :D
That'll teach that Sorcerer!
Darn you...
So endangering one child isn't enough for you, is it mom?
Does a lab really need that many chimneys?
No, not particularly...
Noooo... I said Baro is trouble...
Pink Town, really? Really?
So the police aren't aware of this yet, even though it's already on the news?
Told ya. In this region children are considered inferior.
I actually think I'm below average, but thanks for the-
Really? I would have never guessed...
That's... well that's a strange name...
Why are you talking for me, Ran? (And what's a beetroot???)
Yeah, hopefully he's dead by now...
Ice Skates?
There you go talking for me again!
You're crazy...
Yeah, just keep away from me, crazy lady...
Yeah, we've only known each other for like two minutes...
Bye...
Look familiar, somehow, doesn't it?
A SHORT WALK LATER...
Oh great! An exit from this crazy town!
No... the only exit leads towards Baro...
I though you were debating whether to help him?
Oh no... it's him... and a spell...
No way...
Tu?
Okay, I'll help! Just don't use your Sorcery on me!!
Okay, so what Pokemon should I choose, and what should I nickname it?
Should I choose:
Should I choose:
Should I choose:
________________________________________
Well... I guess Seegg is the final choice! And thanks for the idea for his name, Ryousha!
You can tell he's angry because his eyebrows form a "V"...
Oh no... Oh god no... It... is it upside-dow- oh no... I-kill... must kill it...
Murder it! That's what he's (she's?) going to do!
Male... I was right the first time.
A SHORT, UNSATISFYING BATTLE LATER
*sigh* That was a horrid experience...
Did you just put a curse on that ugly creature, Baro!?
I think I do... but hey, you're the evil Sorcerer, you do what you want to do...
I-I guess...
One word: "horrid".
While you're here, I won't find this place peaceful in the least.
You forget a lot, don't you Baro?
I guess, it kicks butt pretty good...
Sure...
You discovered Pokeballs? I doubt that...
If it behaves...
I don't think it would be, but to each his own.
TEH-PRO will destroy all!!
Oh no...
I think you probably could if you set your mind to it...
Oh no.. not that crazy lady...
No, I'm frightened of her...
Shut up Baro, I don't like you, not one bit...
By running past you to get the police, while I ACTUALLY saved you...
Rock CN? Does it have anything to do with the CN tower? Or CNN?
Well... good luck with that...
Finally... I'm on my way.
Oh crap! That squirrel's nipples are bleeding! Baro must've gotten to it... Poor thing, I'll put it out of its misery...
TEH-PRO is learning to suck others dry to win... good boy...
Are you sure that isn't the drugs that you must be on?
A quiet town far from loud noise, I would've never imagined it...
A stoop! Where!?
A delincuet band? Sounds Italian...
Why do you need CSI to search for some delinquents?
Curses! Baro's blocked my exit!
Haha! He hasn't gotten this path yet.
So "Rock CN" is a place...
OMG!!! An almost-well-designed-Pokemon! I need it!
And strong too...
Try number two!
Yay! We're kicking but TEH-PRO!
She looks busy doing crazy stuff... but I don't want to risk angering Baro...
I'm double-D gorgeous? Does that even make sense?
Too much, actually.
Why do you think I would say "nop", that's not even a word...
Not particularly...
In Corna "not particularly" means "**** yeah!" it seems...
My egg's angrier than your egg...
Did-did I just rob you?
Guess I have to see Baro one more time... *sigh*
Yippee?
How I loathe you, Baro's creepy-lab...
Nothing sexual... please be nothing sexual...
Phew... just this again...
Yay... now I can know all about the creepiness which surrounds me...
I'm never coming back... never coming back...
Darn! Was almost free!
"Uf"!?
It's an upside-down rat for heaven's sake!
Do I have a choice? Baro made it seem as if I had no choice.
But I don't- oh... whatever...
You left the tag on!?
Contain what? The salmon?
"Teleshop"?
Hence the name... "RUNNING Shoes".
With magic?
What's a "TM Game"?
Nah... I think I'll just stew in my own juices forever...
"Take a coat"? Is that like "taking a pill"?!
Of course I will... Did you think that if I left we wouldn't be related anymore?
Finally, I'm out of that town, and will be able to-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111shift
I'll never have to look at it again...
Oookay....
So....? What are we going to name this ugly rat-thing?
Yuoaman: Please, I'm bored, and want to continue the game... I just need to know my gender and name!!
PyroYahtzee: fine
PyroYahtzee: Male
PyroYahtzee: Steven
PyroYahtzee: kthx
______________________________________________________________________
So... it appears that I am now:
Mwahahahahaha!!
What truck?! You're not making sense, again!
*gasp* You disappeared! Darn you Baro-Sorcerer!
Oh god no... he's back... *cries*
Yes, Ja Ja, whatever- just leave me alone!
Of course I'm ready, I was ready the first time you disappeared...
As long as they aren't you I'd prefer to spend time with a serial killer, than you...
Phew... he's finally gone...
Oh god no! He's back!
Whatever, Baro-Sorcerer...
So it appears I was in a truck...
Why couldn't I just go with you?
You're in cahoots with that Sorcerer!? Why mom, why!?
I guess... I don't speak wind mom... I'm still kind of in shock that you were okay with me being alone in a truck with Baro...
Look at you like what?
Breaking the fourth wall, are you now?
So Kinboxos are the Cornian version of Mexican laborers, eh?
Well, since you said 'pliz'...
CLOCK SETTING COMMENCES
Did you just say "etc..."?
Yeah, that sounded far creepier than it had a right to be...
Oh! Did I mention? In Quartz the children are banished to the basement, like the unclean filth it seems we are.
Free Crap!!
Oh god no...
I know... I know...
Has he died or something, 'cause that'd make me smile... :D
That'll teach that Sorcerer!
Darn you...
So endangering one child isn't enough for you, is it mom?
Does a lab really need that many chimneys?
No, not particularly...
Noooo... I said Baro is trouble...
Pink Town, really? Really?
So the police aren't aware of this yet, even though it's already on the news?
Told ya. In this region children are considered inferior.
I actually think I'm below average, but thanks for the-
Really? I would have never guessed...
That's... well that's a strange name...
Why are you talking for me, Ran? (And what's a beetroot???)
Yeah, hopefully he's dead by now...
Ice Skates?
There you go talking for me again!
You're crazy...
Yeah, just keep away from me, crazy lady...
Yeah, we've only known each other for like two minutes...
Bye...
Look familiar, somehow, doesn't it?
A SHORT WALK LATER...
Oh great! An exit from this crazy town!
No... the only exit leads towards Baro...
I though you were debating whether to help him?
Oh no... it's him... and a spell...
No way...
Tu?
Okay, I'll help! Just don't use your Sorcery on me!!
Okay, so what Pokemon should I choose, and what should I nickname it?
Should I choose:
Should I choose:
Should I choose:
________________________________________
Well... I guess Seegg is the final choice! And thanks for the idea for his name, Ryousha!
You can tell he's angry because his eyebrows form a "V"...
Oh no... Oh god no... It... is it upside-dow- oh no... I-kill... must kill it...
Murder it! That's what he's (she's?) going to do!
Male... I was right the first time.
A SHORT, UNSATISFYING BATTLE LATER
*sigh* That was a horrid experience...
Did you just put a curse on that ugly creature, Baro!?
I think I do... but hey, you're the evil Sorcerer, you do what you want to do...
I-I guess...
One word: "horrid".
While you're here, I won't find this place peaceful in the least.
You forget a lot, don't you Baro?
I guess, it kicks butt pretty good...
Sure...
You discovered Pokeballs? I doubt that...
If it behaves...
I don't think it would be, but to each his own.
TEH-PRO will destroy all!!
Oh no...
I think you probably could if you set your mind to it...
Oh no.. not that crazy lady...
No, I'm frightened of her...
Shut up Baro, I don't like you, not one bit...
By running past you to get the police, while I ACTUALLY saved you...
Rock CN? Does it have anything to do with the CN tower? Or CNN?
Well... good luck with that...
Finally... I'm on my way.
Oh crap! That squirrel's nipples are bleeding! Baro must've gotten to it... Poor thing, I'll put it out of its misery...
TEH-PRO is learning to suck others dry to win... good boy...
Are you sure that isn't the drugs that you must be on?
A quiet town far from loud noise, I would've never imagined it...
A stoop! Where!?
A delincuet band? Sounds Italian...
Why do you need CSI to search for some delinquents?
Curses! Baro's blocked my exit!
Haha! He hasn't gotten this path yet.
So "Rock CN" is a place...
OMG!!! An almost-well-designed-Pokemon! I need it!
And strong too...
Try number two!
Yay! We're kicking but TEH-PRO!
She looks busy doing crazy stuff... but I don't want to risk angering Baro...
I'm double-D gorgeous? Does that even make sense?
Too much, actually.
Why do you think I would say "nop", that's not even a word...
Not particularly...
In Corna "not particularly" means "**** yeah!" it seems...
My egg's angrier than your egg...
Did-did I just rob you?
Guess I have to see Baro one more time... *sigh*
Yippee?
How I loathe you, Baro's creepy-lab...
Nothing sexual... please be nothing sexual...
Phew... just this again...
Yay... now I can know all about the creepiness which surrounds me...
I'm never coming back... never coming back...
Darn! Was almost free!
"Uf"!?
It's an upside-down rat for heaven's sake!
Do I have a choice? Baro made it seem as if I had no choice.
But I don't- oh... whatever...
You left the tag on!?
Contain what? The salmon?
"Teleshop"?
Hence the name... "RUNNING Shoes".
With magic?
What's a "TM Game"?
Nah... I think I'll just stew in my own juices forever...
"Take a coat"? Is that like "taking a pill"?!
Of course I will... Did you think that if I left we wouldn't be related anymore?
Finally, I'm out of that town, and will be able to-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111shift
I'll never have to look at it again...
Oookay....
So....? What are we going to name this ugly rat-thing?
[NEW UPDATES]
UPDATE 3 (Nov 30, 2009)
Spoiler:
Almost poetic in it's simplicity isn't it?
So... back to killing abominations!
Your anguish sustains TEH-PRO
Death to the monstrosity!
*sigh* I guess I'd better capture one of these, lest I incur the wrath of Baro...
Maybe it should find something less edible to play with? He'd probably be able to keep a sizable cache of acorns, while still playing...
Thanks PyroDX... sorry Justin... Well at least that pickup ability'll make up for your appearance... mostly...
Wow I look unpleasant from this angle... I'll have to remember to talk to people facing a different direction...
No thanks, I think I'll keep my Pokemon healthy you sadistic freak.
"Wich web"?
I guess I'll check out this "pokebox" thing...
Oh god! Nowhere is safe!
I don't know that I'll want them back after you've been at them...
Sorry... I just can't look at you anymore rat-thing.
Many battles like this ensue... all horribly unsatisfactory for TEH-PRO's blood lust...
Well... he is a pro.
Oh yes! I want it!
Aww... he never gets to be the main attraction...
So what are we going to name this poor opening act?
UPDATE 4 (Dec 2, 2009)
UPDATE 5 (Dec 3, 2009)
UPDATE 6 (Dec 4, 2009)
UPDATE 7 (Dec 6, 2009)
UPDATE 8 (Dec 7, 2009)
UPDATE 9 (Dec 9, 2009)
UPDATE 10 (Dec 10, 2009)
UPDATE 11 (Dec 12, 2009)
UPDATE 12 (Dec 12, 2009)
UPDATE 13 (Dec 15, 2009)
UPDATE 15 (Dec 16, 2009)
UPDATE 16 (Dec 20, 2009)
UPDATE 17 (Dec 21, 2009)
UPDATE 18 (Dec 23, 2009)
UPDATE 19 (Dec 25, 2009)
UPDATE 20 (Dec 27, 2009)
UPDATE 21 (Dec 28, 2009)
UPDATE 22 (Dec 31, 2009)
UPDATE 23 (Jan 2, 2010)
UPDATE 24 (Jan 3, 2010)
UPDATE 25 (Jan 4, 2010)
UPDATE 26 (Jan 6, 2010)
UPDATE 27 (Jan 9, 2010)
UPDATE 28 (Jan 11, 2010)
UPDATE 29 (Jan 15, 2010)
UPDATE 30 (Jan 23, 2010)
UPDATE 31 (Jan 25, 2010)
UPDATE 32 (Jan 28, 2010)
UPDATE 33 (Jan 31, 2010)
UPDATE 34 (Feb 5, 2010)
UPDATE 35 (Feb 6, 2010)
UPDATE 36 (Feb 10, 2010)
UPDATE 37 (Feb 16, 2010)
UPDATE 38 (Feb 28, 2010)
UPDATE 39 (March 2, 2010)
UPDATE 40 (March 6, 2010)
UPDATE 41 (March 14, 2010)
UPDATE 42 (March 28, 2010)
UPDATE 43 (April 14, 2010)
UPDATE 44 (June 27, 2010)
UPDATE 45 (August 12, 2010)
UPDATE 46 (October 4, 2010)
UPDATE 47 (October 8, 2010)
UPDATE 48 (November 1, 2010)
UPDATE 49 (December 1, 2010)
UPDATE 50 (December 24, 2010)
UPDATE 51 (January 27, 2011)
UPDATE 52 (March 17, 2011)
UPDATE 53 (April 14, 2011)
UPDATE 54 (May 25, 2011)
UPDATE 55 (June 2, 2011)
UPDATE 56 (August 5, 2011)
UPDATE BEST (April 1, 2012)
VIEW MY OTHER LP(s):
Pokemon Raptor| N/A
Pokemon Raptor| N/A
HOLY CRAP THIS POST, IT HASN'T BEEN UPDATED IN TWO YEARS. (Well that was the case.)
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