[Pokémon] Pokemon Acaria, Duncan's Dream

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R-Master

Pokemon Writter
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    • Seen Aug 17, 2010
    At The Start​



    Our History Takes Place In A Distant Region Called Acaria, Where The Pokemon's Battles Are The Best. Our Hero, Duncan Dawn Will Introduce You To The Minor History Things.​
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    Hi, I'm Duncan Dawn, I'm 16 years Old, I Live with my uncle​
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    Earl Dawn, On His Farm.​
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    There I Met My first Pokemon,Bleaf.
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    Well that Shall be all what you need to know.​
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    Oh!! Befote I Forget Tomorrow Will be My Exam To Go Into The Royal's Trainers Academy

    So Well Now That Is All.
     
    Last edited:
    Err... I don't think this coincides with all the rules. It's just a bunch of links

    EDIT: Okay not it's not a bunch of links. But now it's just your character describing himself. Honestly I have to disagree with your 7th line. That is not all we need to know
     
    Yesss Scales You're Right BUt I HOpe I Can Change Your Opinion With Chapter 1 Because What You Saw Up There Is Only That My Character Describing himself. and well to do not multipost here Chapter1


    Chapter 1, Part 1: The Adventure Is Waiting.​


    Duncan: (Waking Up) Whoa! I Had A Good Night. What Time Is Now. Huh! 7:20 I Must Get Ready Fast!!!

    After Hastly Take A Bath, And Dress Up.

    Duncan: come on Bleaf, wake up, I Got to Get early to the Academy.

    Bleaf: ZzzZzzZzz.

    Duncan: WAKE UP!!!!!

    Bleaf: (Angry) Bleaf, Bleaf!!

    Duncan: Well You Asked For it Dont Be Mad At Me. So Well Lets Say Good Bye to Uncle Ea-

    Uncle Earl: (Scared) DUNCAN!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!

    Duncan:!!!! Bleaf Lets See What is Going on.

    After Get to his Uncle Room

    Uncle Earl: DUNCAN HELP ME! GET RID OF THIS THING!!!

    Pungnaw: Pungnaw, Pung!

    Duncan: Hey That is a Pungnaw! It Would Be cool to have one.

    Duncan: Lets Go Bleaf, I Know That We Can Beat Him! Combination Attack Razor Leaf And Vine Whip.

    Pungnaw Dodges it.

    Pungnaw Does a Dark claw attack

    Duncan: Bleaf Evade It.

    Bleaf Evades The Dark Claw But The Dark Claw Power Destroys The Ceiling Of His Uncle's Room And The Sun Light Is Very Strong.

    Duncan: (Hey That's Sunlight, A Got An Idea) Go Ander The Sunlight And Now… Solar Beam!!

    Pugnaw Gets Hit

    Duncan: Bleaf!! Bullet Seed!!

    Pugnow Gets hit.

    Duncan: And Now finish him with Razor Leaf.

    Pugnow Is Defeated By the Razor Leaf.

    Duncan: Now Pokeball Go.

    Duncan Threw a Pokeball to the Pugnow and it was engulfed in the ball. The ball rocked three times, and it clicked to indicatte that it had been captured.

    Duncan: Great Now I Got A Pugnow.

    Uncle Earl: Sight… Finally… that Thing Was About To Eat Me.

    Duncan: Well If You Say so (Fearful Uncle Good For Nothing). Well Uncle, I Got to Go now So… Goooood Bye (Duncan Walks While his Uncle Farewell's Him).

    Uncle Earl: Good Bye My Nephew I will Miss you.

    Duncan: I Will Miss you too Uncle, Good Bye.

    After Leaving His Uncle In The Farm Duncan, Bleaf And Pugnow Are In Their Way To The Royal's Trainers Academy. They Were Walking When Duncan Saw a Pokemon.

    Duncan: Huh? What Is That.

    Calflash: Cal, Cal.

    Duncan: Cool A Calflash. Perfect Timing To Try Out Pugnow Power. Go Pugnow!

    Pugnow: Pugpug.

    Calflash: Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll!

    Duncan: huh? What was That For?

    Blitztorm:Blitztorm!

    Duncan: HO-Oh Im In Big Troubles Now Trouble Now.

    End Part 1

    Dexter.

    Bleaf: Type: Grass
    Ability: Overgrow.
    Data: Bleaf Is Pokemon Very Fast To Make His Moves, Whe We Talk About Shot Solar Beams, Bleaf Is The Number One.

    Pugnow: Type: Dark
    Ability: Rage:The Pokemon Increases His Attack By Every Hit.
    Data: Pugnow Is WellKnown For His Good Ability And His Great Strength.

    Calflash: Type: Electric
    Ability: Static.
    Data: Calflash Is Known For His Bright Tail. It Is Said That A Calflash Is Never Seen Without A Blitzstorm.

    Blitzstrom: Type: Electric
    Ability: Static
    Data: Blitzstorm Is Known Because He Is Capable Of Travel 300Km/s. A Blitzstorm Is Never Seen Without A Calflash.
     
    Last edited:
    Your chapter is what's called a script fic, and not a well-written one. It's really just the characters talking. You need to show/tell what the characters are doing and where they are.

    You also really need description, especially when using fan-created Pokemon. The readers don't know what they look like, so it's hard to picture them.

    This fic is also difficult to read because of the grammar and good spelling.

    Thread's closed for not meeting the rules.
     
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