Pokemon Death Island

[Florio]

Pokemon Chaos Island

The story is that you and your friend Amber are kidnapped by the Team of the game, Team Chaos. You are brought to a mysterious island that is ruled by Team Chaos. You are thrown into a prison and you meet another person name Dante. A security guard guarding a storage room falls asleep. You and your friends sneak by him and enter the room. There are 3 pokeballs on a shelf filled with pokemon. They contain the Kanto Starters. Once you choose your pokemon your friends will choose theres also (Dante picks your weakness and Amber picks your resistance). You and your friends all escape while having to battle a security guard each. You then run by to the nearest route and you must continue on from there. You and your friends realize that you won't be getting off the island for a while, you decide to find shelter. You find an old abandoned cabin and a Journal owned by the person who used to live there. The journal explains that he was an escaped prisoner on the island. He was in labour for about 5 years and eventually escaped and lived in the cabin for another 40 years, until his death of old age. While hanging around the island, you will run into a bunch of grunts and you will have to defeat them. During the adventure your player turns into a real pokemon master. There will be alot of features in this game. I'm going to make about 20 hours of gameplay for the Island, then after that you escape to a new region called Hojo. You take on the 8 Gyms (they will be extremely challenging and limiting your pokemon to the same amount as the leader). After that you take on the Elite Four. I won't get into detail on Hojo yet since I haven't decided what will happen there.

Team Chaos's ambission is to Create the ultimate pokemon. They are going to genetically engineer a pokemon (like what Team Rocket did to Mew to make Mewtwo) to make it an unstoppable force. When it is fully built and complete (near the end of the game) it complety goes out of control and Team Chaos cannot control him. You must then stop him (either by killing or capturing).

Atm I've only finished about 10 maps, but they are a few very large maps at atleast 200x200 tiles each. I will take any help I can get. I really need mappers, spriters, scripters, and idealists.

Any suggestions to making the game better would be great. I could also use fakemon artists though I will only want around 15 fakemon, I might make fakemon starters and a fakemon legendary.

Post or pm me if you want to help or leave a comment. I need peoples opinions.

And could a mod please change the thread of the title to Pokemon Chaos Island? Pokemon Death Island sounds really stupid.

 

[Tsukiyo]

I am not even going to bother commenting on the story in its entirety (at least not right now, as I don't have the time), but I do have a few comments/suggestions:

Change the title. Death Island makes little sense in regards to the story in its entirety (or at all, considering that despite the fact that you mentioned the word 'surviving', your battling the grunts with your Pokemon, not fighting for your life). And, although it's certainly different than the titles usually given to Pokemon games, it still manages to scream "CLICHE!".

Secondly, why on Earth would there be an Eevee just lying around? They're in a prison, for crying out loud. People generally don't leave their Pokemon-filled Pokeballs just any old where, and don't bother telling me that it was dropped accidentally, because I don't think there's anyone who'd be quite that stupid. Considering that they're in a prison setting, it's even more nonsensical.

And lastly, why were they kidnapped in the first place? From what I gathered, they were nobodies before the team captured them, so why even bother?

 

[Florio]

I am not even going to bother commenting on the story in its entirety (at least not right now, as I don't have the time), but I do have a few comments/suggestions:

Change the title. Death Island makes little sense in regards to the story in its entirety (or at all, considering that despite the fact that you mentioned the word 'surviving', your battling the grunts with your Pokemon, not fighting for your life). And, although it's certainly different than the titles usually given to Pokemon games, it still manages to scream "CLICHE!".

Secondly, why on Earth would there be an Eevee just lying around? They're in a prison, for crying out loud. People generally don't leave their Pokemon-filled Pokeballs just any old where, and don't bother telling me that it was dropped accidentally, because I don't think there's anyone who'd be quite that stupid. Considering that they're in a prison setting, it's even more nonsensical.

And lastly, why were they kidnapped in the first place? From what I gathered, they were nobodies before the team captured them, so why even bother?

Death Island isn't really the title yet, I just made up something for the thread. And the eevee thing, doesn't really matter :P I'll probally find a better way for him to get it anyways. And they were kidnapped to be slaves on there island.

 

[h POKE]

Two words: forced team.
The story would do a whole lot better if you left that cliche well enough alone. Other than that comment, the story all seems very regular, which is alright in many cases... if you have the features to back it up.
Kanto has already been done twice, technically three times if you count G/S/C. I think the last thing players will want, even probably YOU will want, is to play through Kanto again.

Additionally, your mention of twenty hours for the island seems a little naive, yet I can't help but think that's about right. For someone playing a game just to get through it, you can play a whole region in (correct me if I'm wrong on this) 30-ish hours. So, twenty hours basically means you're adding in a half-region, right?

Finally, no scripting, spriting, or feature talent means you're in a bad position for making a game. Considering there's not much you'd really need to think about in terms of writing the story, that puts you as... mapper! And, in case you didn't know, that's a HUGE turn-off for anyone looking to work on your game. Oh yeah, and so is laziness. A game designer who doesn't even -want- to make their game shouldn't be making it.

 

[Florio]

Two words: forced team.
The story would do a whole lot better if you left that cliche well enough alone. Other than that comment, the story all seems very regular, which is alright in many cases... if you have the features to back it up.
Kanto has already been done twice, technically three times if you count G/S/C. I think the last thing players will want, even probably YOU will want, is to play through Kanto again.

Additionally, your mention of twenty hours for the island seems a little naive, yet I can't help but think that's about right. For someone playing a game just to get through it, you can play a whole region in (correct me if I'm wrong on this) 30-ish hours. So, twenty hours basically means you're adding in a half-region, right?

Finally, no scripting, spriting, or feature talent means you're in a bad position for making a game. Considering there's not much you'd really need to think about in terms of writing the story, that puts you as... mapper! And, in case you didn't know, that's a HUGE turn-off for anyone looking to work on your game. Oh yeah, and so is laziness. A game designer who doesn't even -want- to make their game shouldn't be making it.

I've been working on the story alot and so far its alot better than before.
And I will admit I can't script or sprite but I'm a very good mapper and idealist and I know what kind of game people want. I'm also a very good organizer so I can plan things out and tell people what I need. I also decided to make my own region for after the island instead of Kanto. And I do want to make my own game and how am I lazy? Are you just trying to flame me? If so leave please.

 

[Tsukiyo]

And they were kidnapped to be slaves on there island.

Um...okay?
Slaves for what purpose? And, for that matter, what is the team's purpose? Kidnapping random people and enslaving them for who-knows-what reason doesn't seem very Pokemonish.

Also, h POKE was probably saying that you were lazy because you want someone else to create the region map for you so that you won't have to.

 

[Florio]

Um...okay?
Slaves for what purpose? And, for that matter, what is the team's purpose? Kidnapping random people and enslaving them for who-knows-what reason doesn't seem very Pokemonish.

Also, h POKE was probably saying that you were lazy because you want someone else to create the region map for you so that you won't have to.

true, lol I already made one though, and in every game the team does random ****, they steal random trainers pokemon, and fight random kids, anyways they're kidnapping people because the team need alot of money for what there doing. They want to build the ultimate pokemon. The teams purpose is that they want to built the ultimate pokemon with genetic engineering (kind of like what team rocket did with mewtwo) and rule the world with it, I'm still working on that, but thats there main ambition, and to make money by forcing labour on people :) But the main character isn't the only people on the island. They've kidnapped lots of people and theres 1 town on the island thats a secret colony planning to escape from the island. Its the only place to get pokeballs and the only pokemon center (but there will be alot of other healing places around the island like spas to heal your pokemon)

 

[Tsukiyo]

Secret colony, I can deal with that. But, it's an island, and one I should reasonably be able to assume is heavily gaurded by Team Whatever. How did a whole town manage to form?
And, where on Earth did this group of captured people manage to get Pokeballs and the equipment necessary to run a Pokemon Center?

Also, spas? On a prison island?

And, just where is this island? You make it sound like they've been kidnapping people for a while, and yet no one has managed to locate them? And, how is it that a bunch of kids (I'm assuming) that have apparently never trained a Pokemon in their lives are able to easily escape from this island and none of the others could?

 

[Florio]

Secret colony, I can deal with that. But, it's an island, and one I should reasonably be able to assume is heavily gaurded by Team Whatever. How did a whole town manage to form?
And, where on Earth did this group of captured people manage to get Pokeballs and the equipment necessary to run a Pokemon Center?

Also, spas? On a prison island?

And, just where is this island? You make it sound like they've been kidnapping people for a while, and yet no one has managed to locate them? And, how is it that a bunch of kids (I'm assuming) that have apparently never trained a Pokemon in their lives are able to easily escape from this island and none of the others could?

wow you have like no imagination :(
but the spas are more like just hot springs, sorry for mixing them up, the island is far far away from any civilization, and the island is big, and the town is small enough to keep itself hidden. they made pokeballs from scratch :) That gives me an idea, wooden pokeballs. but the last question... well they're the heros so they have to save the day, you could say that about a lot of games

 

[Dachampster]

I have tons of imagination! *Creates a skyscraper with mind*

Hey, this sounds like a fun game. I can help you with the mapping. Maybe I can work on improving the story and title.
"Mommy, mommy, I wanna buy DEATH ISLAND!"

 

[Florio]

I have tons of imagination! *Creates a skyscraper with mind*

Hey, this sounds like a fun game. I can help you with the mapping. Maybe I can work on improving the story and title.
"Mommy, mommy, I wanna buy DEATH ISLAND!"

Lol sure i need all the help I can get since i want to make this game good.
I've pmed you.

 

[h POKE]

Umm... You seem to be mainly passing off your story's weak points on the cliches set up by the actual pokemon series. That's often alright, but still, its never a good excuse for actions in the story. For example, you said something to the effect of 'the team performs random activity to suit their own ends.' Okay, but you still have to expand a little bit as to why the team does what they do.

In fact, even the real pokemon games' events don't just happen for no reason. So, they're stealing pokemon, people, and equipment and taking them to a far off "death" island, and that's a god (if not generic) means for... an undefined ends. What does this team wish to accomplish? or are they just after some short-sighted and ultimately foolish goal like any other good cliche?

 

[▲]

...looks like I'm a little late. I blame business and these server lags...

Yeah, I have this pretty good idea Let's see.. I will need help with it though Well, I'm here to help (among others).... The story is that you and your friends are kidnapped by the Team Why is there a team? How do they enhance your plot? Why do they have any business with you? of the game (like team magma,rocket etc.) You are brought to a mysterious island that is ruled by the team If they're evil, how do they legally own an island? No criminals would have any property that is blatantly their own...when I was a lot younger, I thought 'Rocket Island' would be cool--the secret center for all Rocket operations. Yeah, no thanks.... You then break out of the prison How? I'd suspect they'd have guards on you left and right...and every person there probably is in uniform. Why did they imprison you anyways? and you and your friends try to escape the island Are these friends anything but in your imagination? Do they have names? Genders? Ages? Pkmn?. On the way out, you find a poke ball. It contains an Eevee. The Eevee will be your starter pokemon So you're a kid without a pkmn...why are you here? And this is so totally forced that I shouldn't have to point it out...in addition to lacking originality.. Once you escape the prision, you and your friends all escape to a nearby forest ...still on this island.... The next goal is try to get off the island while surviving Who decides this? Where are the team's dynamics? These characters (or lack thereof) haven't been brought to life yet.... While hanging around the island, you will run into a bunch of grunts and you will have to defeat them That's it?! This is so...unrealistic.... During the adventure your player realizes that he loves pokemon and he wants to be a pokemon master Good for him.... There will be alot of features in this game. I'm going to make about 20 hours of gameplay for the Island By my personal definition, a good game takes 20 hours. I spent 20:20 on Megaman Battle Network 2, so xD...that's the benchmark. My point is that this has got to be REALLY slow-going...I guess I don't see what adventure there could possibly be on this island that I imagine to be small enough to not show on a map., then after that you go back to Kanto Red Flag...okay, what's the deal here? TR is out of Kanto a long time ago, or does this take place in the past? and realize you want to be the most powerful trainer ...pff.. You take on the 8 Gyms (they will be extremely challenging and limiting your pokemon to the same amount as the leader Ask any -good- competititve battler (I'm not one) if any Gym is challenging, and they'll laugh at you...). After that you take on the Elite Four.

Atm I've only finished about 3 maps, but they are very large maps at atleast 200x200 tiles each. I will take any help I can get. I really need spriters, scripters Well, if you don't do art, music (I'm assuming), or coding, then what do you do? The sad reality of this is that there are SO many wannabe game owners that it is really a dog-eat-dog world around here. You've gotta beat people like the Acanthite Team and Wichu...not an easy task., and idealists. I would also appreciate if someone could make a Region Map, or else I'm gonna have to do it. /slit wrists. ...um, was that was a turn-off? Yeah, I think so...

But yeah any suggestions to making the game better would be great. I could also use fakemon artists though I will only want around 15 fakemon Then...what's really the point?, I might make fakemon starters and a fakemon legendary.

But yeah, post or pm me if you want to help or leave a comment on my idea. I need peoples opinions.

So...uh, where's this good idea I heard about? I don't consider anything I read a plot...nothing happens. So you're on an island...uh-huh. Either you're the most secretive plot writer I've ever met, or you have some fleshing out to do...start with this: to what end are you trying to go and where are you starting to get there? Saying becoming the Champion won't cut it; the ending should not be forseeable.

EDIT: oh yeah, Death Island? Who wants to play a game called that? And if it's so dismal a place, then how is it that a few kids can survive?

 

[Florio]

Umm... You seem to be mainly passing off your story's weak points on the cliches set up by the actual pokemon series. That's often alright, but still, its never a good excuse for actions in the story. For example, you said something to the effect of 'the team performs random activity to suit their own ends.' Okay, but you still have to expand a little bit as to why the team does what they do.

In fact, even the real pokemon games' events don't just happen for no reason. So, they're stealing pokemon, people, and equipment and taking them to a far off "death" island, and that's a god (if not generic) means for... an undefined ends. What does this team wish to accomplish? or are they just after some short-sighted and ultimately foolish goal like any other good cliche?

I editted the storyline re-read it.

 

[h POKE]

He was in labour for about 5 years

He was giving birth for five years? That must suck...

Your new story... is not that different from your original one. The way you get your starter is still a little shaky, but it's better. One of my rules that differs from many others is that if you can have a plain plot if you want. I can't think of any more criticism on the story, so the question now is whether you have the skill to create your game. What can you do? What are some of the features that will be in your game, specifically?

 

[Deja Vu]

Nice idea, but do the kids get to fight each other along the way? Also Hojo is the name of a scientist in Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core.