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Pokemon Fusion Crisis

  • 10
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Dec 5, 2013
    PROLOGUE

    "The two pokemon are in place sir." A man's voice echoed through the room. "Good, start the experiment then." Another voice echoed back. The man went over to a button on the big machine. The machine had two pods on the side of it containing two small mouse looking pokemon.

    In the pod on the right the pokemon had a small yellow body. It's tail was yellow too, but had a pink plus sign at the end. It had large oval pink ears, and pink paws, and its cheeks were circular with plus signs voided in the middle.

    In the other pod the pokemon looked exactly the same as the other pokemon except it had blue oval ears,blue paws, and at the end of it's tail was a minus sign. It's cheeks were sightly different too, there were minus signs voided in the middle of them.


    "Experiment starting now!" Click! A botton in the middle of the machine was pressed. The machine roared to life. The tiny pokemon began to wimper in pain of the machine. The pods began sucking the pokemon into the large center of the machine. The small bodies of the pokemon swirling around at high speed. "Yes, yes this is going perfect." The man grinned.

    Suddenly the machine started shooting sparks everywhere causing small fires to start on the plane. The machine's center began to open and a pokemon fell out of it onto the floor. The small pokemon sat up still dazed from the fall. The pokemon had a striking resemblance from the two pokemon from before, but it's body was a darker color yellow, and it's ears and paws were purple. it's cheeks were neither a plus sign or an minus sign, it resembled an multiplication sign. It's tail was different too it had a purple multiplication sign.

    The pokemon looked at it's body with an confused look on it's face. "We must evacuate now sir!" The man now clear enough to see was a tall slinky man with brown pants, and a white jacket. He ran into another room and pulled off two pokeballs from a nearby shelf. The inside of the ship began to lose power and small explosions began to occur. "Skarmory, go!" the scientist threw the pokeball's in the air and in a beam of light two bird type pokemon with steel wings and body appeared.

    One Skarmory grabbed ahold of of the scientist with it's claws. "Skarmory, use steel wing on the door!" The scientist commanded. The Skarmory's wings began to turn grey and very hard. Skarmory flew towards the door and in one blow knocked it off with one of its wings. The Scientist looked back and seen the experimented pokemon. "Amazing, so this is what a Plusle and a Minun would look together, too bad for it though, looks like it has to go down with the plane." He began to laugh.

    The second Skarmory flew out holding a big man wearing a tux, with slick back black hair. "Where to now sir?" The scientist asked. "We're now headed back to the base ditch the rat it was just a test for our main course experiment." The man said with a huge grin. The two man slowly disappeared in the sky.

    ***

    "The last match of the Annual Viridian City Pokemon School Graduation Tournament is about to begin!" Yelled the announcer in the center of the stage. the crowd roared in excitement. "Can we have the two contestants proceed onto the stage at this moment please!" Two figures walked up from the left and the right of the stage. The Stadium suddenly get dark and the crowd went into complete silence. "Now let me introduce to you our two finalist, Zexion and Jasmine!" The lights shot back on and now on stage stood two kids, one a boy, and the other a girl.

    Zexion was a tall guy with white hair that looked like snow on the peak of a mountain, he had eyes as blue as the ocean. He wore a black t-shirt with a pokeball in the middle, blue jeans, and a white headband. Jasmine on the other hand was short with long red hair, and black beaty eyes. She had on blue jeans as well, with a plain white t-shirt.

    "trainers please go to your sides of the stage." The announcer shouted. The stage began to split in two and the field the trainers were going to battle on appeared. The crowd sat in awe of the field. "Now the last match of the tourney begin!"
     
    Review!

    Since anyone is yet to comment or give a review on your fic, I'll take the honor.

    An overview of the fic shows me that you have promise in the field of writing (If not, why would you be here anyway.) and that the fic itself shows an interesting plot. I'm anxious to see the outcome of the fusion machine or whatever. It's too early to say anything about the plot since there's too little in the first chapter for much review about that.

    Now, let me give you a comprehensive review on what normal readers might think.

    1.echoed through the room
    How big is this room to be able to cause echoes? Furthermore, they're on a plane (I'll come to that later) that can hold this machine. It should be a cargo aircraft of sorts with the sound of 4 engines running simultaneously, the fusion machine, and the power generator (which usually tends to be noisy) right?
    So why can they still have echoes. The laws of Physics/Acoustics must still be obeyed, even in a Pokémon fic.


    2. causing small fires to start on the plane

    Plane? Before this, you gave a vague description of the location to be a large room. How can you have a large room in a plane? Other than that, why would anyone want to conduct an experiment that requires an obscene amount of power (genetic fusion, duh) on a PLANE? There are many things that I could point out in this fic but I don't want to hurt your feelings (that much).


    3. "Skarmory, go!" the scientist threw

    Incredibly cliché but, it's you're fic so be free to use as many as you like.


    4. The Scientist looked back and seen the experimented pokemon.
    Saw the Pokémon test subject.


    5. with an confused look
    A confused look.


    Apart from that, keep up the good work and continue writing!
     
    ok thanks Neo i think ill write this over again though i didnt like it in the first place but i just decided to post it to see how people would react to it
     
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