[Pokemon] Gritty Reality

Emolga91

A wild Emolga appeared!
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    • UK
    • Seen Jun 18, 2015
    I felt like writing a very short piece exploring a grittier take on Pokemon. We all go on these journeys and never see any harm to us as trainers. We go on adventures that take us to mountains to volcanoes, underwater caverns but we are always fine. I felt like doing this piece would be a little fun read for you all.

    [Pokemon: Gritty Reality]

    It's dark wet and cold, I say cold but I guess it was just the way my body was feeling at that moment. I'm slumped up against a tree and am in a lot of pain. I Look down at my waist and all I could see was red staining my shirt. Trying to reassure myself I placed my hand over the red patch of my shirt and pulled back my hand, it wasn't a pretty picture.

    "That's definitely my blood alright and a lot of it"

    Looking upwards towards the cloudy sky I couldn't help but laugh. You see this sort of thing in the movies and yet we sometimes laugh at them for how fake their acting is at the time. But in reality I can say for certain it hurts a lot. More than a lot I haven't felt anything quite like this before and that is what really scares me the most. Will I make it out of this alive?

    I am not sure where I am exactly either, looking at my surroundings all I could see was my wrecked bicycle and a lot of forestry. The last thing I remember was riding near the mountainside towards my hometown. Nothing different than usual except for a wild Ryhorn blasting down the mountain side and colliding with me. I wonder why it done that? Maybe it was being attacked by another Pokemon and fled. Either way a piercing pain in my side and being flung off of my bike was what followed and anything after that is just a blur to me.

    "That Ryhorn must have clipped me in the side with its horn as it barged passed"

    I couldn't move my legs, I must have been unconscious for a while so my strength isn't all there. With what strength I could muster though went into pulling my bag off of my back so I could get to my Poke balls.

    "Pidgeotto should be ok...... He can fly for help I guess"

    I opened up the Poke ball and out Pidgeotto came.

    "Pidgeotto!"

    "We've been through some adventures haven't we pal, you were my first Pokemon I ever had. Given to me by my parents. I haven't even begun my journey yet but me and you have had some great times"

    I lifted my arm and placed it on his head and began to rub gently. I completely forgot about my blood riddled hands at the time.

    "Sorry pal, it seems I am in a bit of a situation..... I'm going to need you to fly to the nearest Pokemon Center and get help. It's not too far for you to fly, sadly I don't have the strength to get to my communicator out"

    "Pidgeotto!"

    It was at that moment I saw my loyal pal fly off in search of help. I'm kind of glad he isn't here though. He wouldn't have to see what would become of me if no one arrives. An hour had almost come to pass and yet I had seen no sign of anyone, not even Pidgeotto. It had begun to rain and before long I was sitting in a puddle of red water.

    "K-keep trying pal"

    More time had passed and it wasn't long before I couldn't move my body at all.

    "Haha.... it's funny how people sugar coat their journeys with their pokemon and never go into the details of the dangers you can face. I guess I'm an unlucky guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. I bet that Ryhorn wasn't even meant to collide with me there at all..... maybe it was just a freak accident. I guess I'll never know at this rate"

    Several more minutes past me by and it was at that point I was struggling to keep my eyes open. It was at that moment when I started to feel scared and alone. I couldn't reach my poke communicator to contact my family. If I die here how will they find out? I have too many questions rolling around in my head that I just needed to focus on staying awake.

    "I-I hope someone arrives.........soon......Pidgeotto........come.......back......please"

    My body slumped over and soon my face was pressed against was seemed to be a fallen tree. Slowly my eyes began to slowly close and after a few minutes of fighting it they were closed for good. It was dark, wet and cold and I was alone. Time was slowly passing and before I knew it an echo in the distance.

    "Hold on!"

    Has someone arrived? Did Pidgeotto come through for me?

    "T-t-thanks......pal"

    "Hold on!"

    That was the last thing I could hear and soon darkness had consumed me.
     
    Hi there! Always great to see new writers joining here. Okay, some comments!

    It's dark wet and cold, I say cold but I guess it was just the way my body was feeling at that moment. I'm slumped up against a tree and am in a lot of pain. I Look (should be lowercased) down at my waist and all I could see was red staining my shirt. Trying to reassure myself I placed my hand over the red patch of my shirt and pulled back my hand, it wasn't a pretty picture.

    "That's definitely my blood alright and a lot of it (missing period)"

    Noticed a couple mistakes here. Also, the "red staining my shirt" and "red patch of my shirt" sounds a bit repetitive. Maybe the second one replace it with just "blood"?

    "That Ryhorn must have clipped me in the side with its horn as it barged passed (missing period)"

    Another instance of a missing period.

    "I-I hope someone arrives.........soon......Pidgeotto........come.......back......please (missing period) "

    Yeah I kept mentioning missing periods. :x Besides that, usually ellipsis I see those having only three periods (...) instead of six in published works.

    As I was reading I noticed a lot of times whenever you have quotation marks you didn't end it with a period or another punctuation like a question mark or exclamation point. Usually when you have dialogue you need a punctuation after someone finish saying something. One of the dialogues I pointed out should have a punctuation like this:

    "That's definitely my blood alright and a lot of it."

    Punctuating dialogue actually has quite a few rules that might confuse some, so if you want me to explain it a little more I'm willing to help!

    As for the story itself, I admit this isn't the first time I read a fic that wants to take a deadlier turn in the Pokemon world. Then again, I read Pokemon fics for almost nine years already, sooooo... :P But yeah, it's pretty unfortunate for this particular trainer caught themselves in this situation. This is not bad for a short fic looking into this stuff, and I look forward to any other stories you plan on doing!
     
    I do apologize on some of those minor mistakes, I wrote it late night on a spontaneous idea haha. I should have checked it over a bit better than I did. It isn't my best work but it was just something that cropped into my head at the time.
     
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