Ruby hack: POKEMON KENO (updated regularly)

[Shiny HO-OH]

Pokemon Keno (MAJOR UPDATE)

POKEMON KENO!!!

Well hi guys this is one of my first posts here.Its on my new hack that
i wanted to release to the public its based on the story after the burning
of the Tin Tower in Pokemon G/S/C but new maps ,tiles ,sprites etc...

STORYLINE
One day you wake up, excited about getting your very first Pokemon.You leave your
house and head east to Prof.Oak's lab where he informs you that he does not have
your Pokemon but Prof.Elm does. So you leave and head up to route 1 where you
encounter Prof.Elm and he gives you your first Pokemon. You have 3 Pokemon to
choose from and they are:


Bulbasaur:

Charmander:

Squirtle:

Once your choice is made you then inform Elm that Oak wood like to speak with
him, Elm will then tell you that he will be there A.S.A.P and to go and tell Oak
that. So then you go to Oaks lab and Elm walks in and Oak tells him about what
he had discovered, then he will leave to fix his Pokedex for you. When you go to
his lab in the next city you meet Crystal, your rival. You both get a Pokedex and
leave Prof.Elm's lab. Next step is to go to Ilextra Forest where you will find a
young Red headed boy who has a fight with his Cyndaquil and abandons it
(You can battle this Cyndaquil). Further on you meet a strange woman in red with
her Farfetch'd who asks for your assistance in the forest. You go to the Shrine
where she has confronted a strange man called Ryu who is an admin of team
Rocket, he will then battle you. You leave and all the Rocket Grunts have left
the city and you are now able to challenge the first gym.
After defeating gym one go to the cut masters house and recieve hmcut then
cut the trees in Ilextra Forest and head up to route 4 and there you will
encounter a Fisherman on the bridge who will ask for your help in defeating
a strong Totodile that has stolen his rod.He will then spot it, it will jump out
and onto the bridge and battle you. The Fisherman will then allow you to
keep the rod and he will leave.

INTERACTABLE POKEMON SO FAR
Cyndaquil - level 5 battles you.

Totodile - level 10 battles you


SCREENIES
IN ATTACHMENTS


FEATURES
Some new features include:
- all johto and hoenn starters available
- more interactable pokemon
- revamps of old sprites
- d/p pokemon
- brand new events
- johto legendaries
- new myth
- new hm whirlpool
- new side quests
- all eight johto gym leaders

KENO MYTH
150 years ago a great war broke out in Johto and burned the
legendary Tin Tower down to the ground. This caused the
legendary creatures that lived in tin tower to die and made
the legendary ''dieties'' to fly off. With their dissapearence
so to did the legendary Kimono girls dissapear. Someone had
to protect the region so a man did, a man like no other, known
as the Golden knight. He summoned all the Slowpoke of Azalea
town and had them use rain dance to put the fire out. The Knight
then burst through the tower door with his Blastoise and carried
out the bodies of the 3 dead legendary beings. The divinities saw
this and resurrected the three beings who then embodied the
lightning from Zapdos that struck the tower, the Fire from Moltres
that burned it and the frost of Articuno that help put the fire out.
After that the Divine beings flew off but know one knew where, it
was assumed that one flew all over the world for ever and the other
fell to the bottom of the sea and they both awaited the Knight to
challenge them, but he never showed up he was killed by an evil
man named ''Giovanni''. However the Knight's wife fell pregnant
and the gene of the great knight carried on.
BUGS/GLITCHES
- Don't talk with the Farfetch'd in ilextra forest...


POSITIONS NEEDED
Well all help is taken and used but right now
i need a:
- Beta Tester/Problem fixer

SPECIAL THANKS TO...
- Wesleyfg for his marnian region tiles
- and little brother for beta testing

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

oh and if anyone knows how to fix my screenie problem or wants their work to be shown in my hack jus post it here and i'll put it in my hack !!!

 

[Gummybear10]

awesome

Looks awesome Shiny HO-OH!!!

 

[Satoshi Ookami]

Interesting... might be good hack in future...
Good luck with it ;)
And the screens. Ya won't be able to post full screens 'till ya reach 15 posts.

 

[WaterSplash]

Oh man, grammar errors galore (shutters).By the way, Gummybear10, the rules of this forum clearly say that you must give constructive critisism, not just say you love every aspect of it.

 

[Gummybear10]

hey im just saying it looks awesome and Shiny HO-OH are you going you get rid of the farfetch'd glitch
and come on put a couple of pikachus in

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

dudethat was the biggest pile of douche ive ever seen i dunno how to fix the farfetch'd event and wat do you mean by pikachu's

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

Oh and ash493 thanks for the help

 

[blue]

This looks great! :D Looking forward to the beta

 

[Aberbecam]

Good chose of tiles. But in the border the tree tiles has alot of errors. And work on the storyline little more it doesn't look that interesting. But the maps and scripts are overall good. Good Luck! Oh and a little more tip, Don't double post you click on the Multi-Quote or Select Post, And in the last post click Quote.

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

I thamk you for all comments inprovements will be made but right now im looking for a few fakemon so if anyone will send in some suggestions it would really help and credit will be given

 

[fallkitten]

New Hack about adventures In Jhoto? ;) I don't see screenies but I am not dissapointed.It shall be a godd hack I think so good luck!

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

there is screenies they're in attatchments

 

[fallkitten]

Screenshoots are very good!Great job!

 

[Tropical Sunlight]

That looks very promising, I can't seem to get my eyes of the tree tile... So fresh! But, the palletes seem familiar...
LightPlatinum perhaps?

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

they might seem a bit familiar tyhey're from wesleys marnian region tileset all my tiles bar the trees ae including the lighthouse and the lab so thats probably why

 

[Tropical Sunlight]

they might seem a bit familiar tyhey're from wesleys marnian region tileset all my tiles bar the trees ae including the lighthouse and the lab so thats probably why

Oh. OK
Again, good luck with the hack!

 

[Gary the Magic Fairy]

Comments in red.

Spoiler:

POKEMON KENO!!!

Well hi guys this is one of my first posts here.Its on my new hack that
i wanted to release to the public its based on the story after the burning
of the Tin Tower in Pokemon G/S/C but new maps ,tiles ,sprites etc...

STORYLINE This has quite a few grammatical errors.
One day you wake up, excited about getting your first Pokemon.[You put a space after a "."]You arrive at
Prof.OAK's lab and he tells you that Prof.ELM [Is there a reason Oak & Elm are in all caps? Also, don't forget to put spaces after a "."] has your first Pokemon.
When you go out to Route 1, you discover that ELM is there and he gives you
a choice of three pokemon: Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. [Commas go after the first word, not before the second.](I advise Charmander)[I think you should omit that. It is irrelevant to the story]
Then you tell him that OAK wants a word with him about KENO's [Again, why is this in all caps?] great myth.
He sends you to OAK to tell him he'll be there in a while ....[These aren't really necessary.]When you arrive,
Prof.ELM walks in and OAK tells him that the KIMONO girl's ["girls". Girl's is possessive, girls is plural.] are back which means
the return of the legend. [This whole part here is a bit confusing.] ELM then leaves to update his Pokedex for the new trainer
at his lab in STRATRO CITY ...But OAK informs you that you are the new trainer
and to go to his lab. [What? Also, punctuation goes after the word and before the space.]Once there you meet Crystal, your rival, then ELM gives you
and Crystal a Pokedex. she leaves and so do you.... You both leave.
You arrive at ILEXTRA FOREST and find a young boy with his Cyndaquil and He tells
it to burn the forest down, but the Cyndaquil refuses, so he abandons it(If you interact with it the Cyndaquil joins your team)[Just add this into the story. It doens't need to be in parentheses.]. As you leave your the forest, a woman in red robes
is there with a FARFETCH'D and tells you that you have to help her, because Team
ROCKET have taken control of the forest and RAINBOW CITY. So You go to the forest with her, and go to the forest shrine where she has confronted him. He spills his plan about capturing the FOREST GUARDIAN...You battle him and stop him.
Then After defeating him, Team ROCKET will leave the city and you can battle the gym.
LEADER 1 IS FALKNER! [Not really relevant to the story. You should put that in features.]

INTERACTABLE POKEMON SO FAR
Cyndaquil - level 5 joins team.

SCREENIES
Right now at the bottom but will be put here when i figure out how.[attach]50885[/attach]

FEATURES
Some new features include...
- all johto and hoenn starters available
- more interactable pokemon
- revamps of old sprites May I ask why? Seems like more work for no good reason.
- some fakemon Personally, I would advise against that, unless it's absolutely integral to the plot.
- d/p pokemon
- brand new events
- johto legendaries
- new myth
- new hm waterfall Uh... hasn't Waterfall been an HM since the second generation?
- new side quests

KENO MYTH
Thousands of years ago a fire broke out burning the great tin tower of the
Johto region making the two great legends fly off. No-one knows where they
went. It was assumed that one flew around in the skies forever and the other
fell to the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean.
...Or did they? It was foretold that one flew to the great RAINBOW TOWER
and the other lived at["At" isn't a good word here. Under, above, behind... not at.] a giant waterfall and had a temple built around it.
5 people arrived, blessed with the holiness of the great divinities, and
protected them from poachers. But there was one that even the 5 people
worshipped. He was known as the Golden Knight, a knight blessed with
armour made from the very feathers of the great bird and weapons made from the
ocean dweller's feathers. He arrived and fought off evil from the region. and The two
legendary creatures saw this and awaited to challenge him. but he died Unfortunately, he died before they were able to.
However, the gene was passed down through the ages, and now are you the
fallen ancestor or not.......[Wtf? That's doesn't make sense.]

This sounds like it could be an interesting plot, but right there near the end, things got very confusing. I suggest you re-write that.

BUGS/GLITCHES
- DONT TALK WITH THE FARFETCH'D in ilextra forest...

SPECIAL THANKS TO...
- Wesleyfg for his marnian region tiles
- and little brother for beta testing

Anyway, the things that bug me the most about this:
You don't
need to press
enter to change
lines so often,
it's really annoying.

Punctuation goes after the word, not after the space.

Example:

Example ,example ,example. Example, example, example.

Random PLACES and PEOPLE don't need to be in ALL CAPS. It's incredibly DISTRACTING.

Use punctuation more you don't need to have 4 sentences crammed into one like this and then not stop until you finish a paragraph seriously stop it okay.

The word "I" is capitalized. Always.

Double-check your grammar. You have so many common mistakes that could be found if you would just slow down and re-read them. Or, if you can't spot them, get someone else to check for you as well.

 

[Shiny HO-OH]

I thank you for your critisiscm and i would like you to know that whilst yes i do like to recieve your opinions and adapt my game there was no need to point out grammer mistakes. But i did say i would accept all opinions so i thank you and but i would like your opinion on the game because Pokemon Keno is always adapting and changing...

 

[Gary the Magic Fairy]

Well, many of the grammar mistakes carry over into the game. Also, having a thread full of grammatical errors is off-putting. If you want more people to comment on the story itself, you should make it readable.