I would review on fanfiction.net, but I prefer to review here, and plus... I haven't got an account, and I don't particularly plan on getting one ^_^ Anyways, to review:
I do like this fic a lot, and all that's stopping it from being great are a couple of typos here and there and a couple of grammatical errors that couls easily be fixed using a word processor such as Microsoft Word or something similar.
I do have a concern with the way you introduced the actual First Chapter. Instead of saying "Ten Years Later", you could have described the impact that the war has had on the people. If nothing major had happened, then you could have just put there had been no major impacts in the war or something like that.
You did say that Chap 1 was short, and I'm inclined to agree. All you really did was kill some people then leave the gym. Many fics would have that as half a chapter, and lead to something else a bit later. I do hope you make them longer, as what I've read is awfully good so far.
Just work on your typos and the general length of this and you should go far ^_^
"A Vote for Justice is a Vote for MCD"
