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Pokemon: Ultima Journey

Monkey In Rehab

Spritee
    • 55
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Nov 17, 2007
    Pokemon
    Ultima
    Journey!

    -------------------
    Comics
    -------------------
    Comic 1
    Comic 2



    Updates When Possible For Me.
    Credits To *At The Moment*:
    Spoiler:

    ​
     
    Last edited:
    Umm... the second link, next to Comic 1 is broken.
    It is pretty good - rather original. Lets just sit and analyze for a second:
    - Main characters: Good and all, but you need to edit them. I see you just have plainh sprites, and you should edit them.
    - Credit: Give a list of credits on the first post. If you don't credit the people who made the original sprites or something, you might get in trouble.
    - Plot: Awesome. Completely original to start, and keep on with that.
    - Speech bubbles: Good, but the text is too cluttered together. That's an easy one to fix.
    - Speech: YOur speech on the post is kind of negative. Assume that you suck, but dont write it. It might give readers the impression that you just want to be called the worst comiceer. You have good ideas, and are well executed right now.

    Keep it up!
     
    Thanks Matt, that helped alot.. I will try and get comic 2 up today. But i am going for a meal with friends so it may be a bit delayed. If so, could you tell me what a good font would be to use? And at what size?
     
    Sorry it took so long, i'm just slow at these things.
    Comic 2
     
    Why would Giovanni push off the hero, more importantly, Giovanni WOULD NOT go himself. Instead, he would send an admin, a minor one more likely. You need to make characters more realistic.

    The dead girl and the friend share the same sprite, which is confusing, unless the friend IS the dead girl. Also, Giovanni and the Rockets come out of nowhere, and no one notices them when they push off the protagonist.
     
    [Angel of Twilight:: said:
    Why would Giovanni push off the hero, more importantly, Giovanni WOULD NOT go himself. Instead, he would send an admin, a minor one more likely. You need to make characters more realistic.

    The dead girl and the friend share the same sprite, which is confusing, unless the friend IS the dead girl. Also, Giovanni and the Rockets come out of nowhere, and no one notices them when they push off the protagonist.
    Click to expand...


    @Angel, this is early on in the story. And if you read... its not giovanni.... its horatio. Horatio is his son that didn't get accepted into rocket, so when rocket went into hiding he made rocket reborn. The friend is the dead girl, she just isnt dead yet. Thats a bit obvious.
     
    Actually, it's not. There's no indicator >.<;;

    Horatio, Giovanni, it's the same copied over-used sprite, and still, he would not go himself, nor would he go with so little. Rockets always come in numbers, even the GSC rival thinks so x3
     
    Well i take your crit, but well... at the end of the day, its my comic, my idea's, my rules
     
    Monkey In Rehab said:
    Well i take your crit, but well... at the end of the day, its my comic, my idea's, my rules
    Click to expand...

    Dont get too defensive man. Angel has a little point - and I said earlier that you should change up your sprites a little to avoid confusion.

    With Comic 2, I recommended just one little square in the corner of your first frame, labelled: "When Amy was alive..." or "_ years ago" or something like that, just to get the message through.

    Comic 2 was really good. I like to understand what happened to her in greater detail, and a flashback format is always good. The speech bubbles have much improved, which I really like.

    Three little words: "Keep. It. Up." :D
     
    Ah. I get it now. The first comic is what happened a few years ago and the whole plot of the comic is explaining HOW she died...
     
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