Spontaneous Acts of Randomness!

i know where to find one *flies away* *files back with a giantic radio*
is this one big enough for ya??????????????? ? ?? ? ↔
 
OH NOOOOOOOO!! ITS THE INVASION OF THE RABID OSTRICH, ALONG WITH HIS TRUSTY EBIL SIDEKICK, BEEFLOG BOY!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!! THE WOYLD IS DOOMED TO COPY DICTIONARYS AND EAT MOLDY MACARONI!! *cries hysterically*
 
oh please
how bout a plasma attack!
*giant cookie falls down*
oh boy giantic cookie lets eat it!
 
Yay! Let's eat it and then dedicate a station of the giant radio to it! *eats cookie then turns radio to the cookie-eating blues* DOOM TO TEH RADIO!!!!
 
*flits back in* I have made a list of teh ups and downs of being a half-vampire!

GOOD
-You can stay in the sun
-Increased strength and speed
-Teh vampire blood can spread, infecting teh remaining pure blood
-Hardened teeth and nails
-Rapid nail growth (the only thing that can cut them are teh teeth of teh one who's hand their on)

BAD
-No flitting
-No fangs
-Breathing into your hand and covering someone's mouth won't put them to sleep
-Your saliva will not heal wounds
-You cannot bite anyone to spread your blood
-Hair loss, then RAPID regrowth

And now, mortals, I will...do something that involves shiny lights! *sparkle sparkle*
 
Yay! Shiny! Thanks for the list. It will be useful to a friend of mine. But can you make another? He's actually just a quarter vampire...
 
*looks at a quarter* How'd he get stuck in this little thing...?
 
*comes out of magic lamp* no, yo idiot! *slpas him in the face*. he means 1/4 of a vampire *dissapers back into magic lamp*
 
*Shivering* no randomize button, must change subject...GOT IT *runs into magic closet of coatrackland and pulls out a strange box* "Pandoras Box two, BEWARE, THIS ONES THE WORST!!" Yay! random! *trys to open box, but is padlocked* NOOOO!!! must be random! *Does riverdance on top of Pandoras Box II*
 
[ALL CAPS]Do Not See This Post, This Post Is Not Here It Is A Figmit Of Your Imagination[/ALL CAPS]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAPS LOCK IT'S ON!
 
Yargh, I welcome thee new guy in the quarter to the place that is referred to as being under the rainbow.. Ain't it prettyful?
 
what rainbow ACHOO is there a pot of..of A...A...ACHOO Gold?
 
I've been everywhere, man,
I've been everywhere...

Middle-Earth New Zealand Hogwarts my computer California...

I've been everywhere, man,
I've been in your hair...

It's all just a dream, people. Move along.
 
THE RAINBOW TO THE EAST!'

Come, my pretty little gold fish! It is time! Time to journey to the rainbow!

*frolics away*
 
Dragon spam fishy cave will give bat up run to clock blanket ninja destiny
 
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