Suckiest Pokemon Awards

ChronicEdge

Space Lion
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    I believe that a certain, special few Pokemon suck SO much that they deserve an award for it. So I, Shane, am here to present these, these lowest of the low, these slightly less than brilliant, these absolutely atrocious abominations to the game that make you want to punch Nintendo in the face, with the first ever official Sucky Pokemon Awards.

    In this first installment, we have the Kanto region nominees.

    Number one: SEAKING.

    Whoever thought of you seriously needs to be shot in the face. Your stats suck, your moves suck harder, and you look like you should be in some crappy Myrtle Beach gift shop on an overpriced calendar. Furthermore, you're the only Pokemon recognized as a completely open transexual (with the possible exception of pretty boy Kirlia). Please, stop crapping up the Kanto oceans.

    Number two: JINX

    What the HELL were the Creatures game staff on when they thought up you? I mean damn, Pokemon was originally supposed to be a children's game. In the anime, every time she hugs someone their head gets shoved so far in her breasts that I as a child was surprised to see them come out alive. Also, if you're the equivalent of a magical animal, where the hell did you get a dress? WTF?!?!?! D:< In reminding all who see you of a younger Kirsti Allie, you wholeheartedly deserve this nomination.

    And lastly, we have number three: PARAS.

    What the **** are you supposed to be? Maybe YOU were the drug that the Creatures staff was on when they thought of JINX!!! The only passable attack you ever learn is Slash. You have so many weaknesses that you could be killed with a poorly-aimed napkin. Your stats remind me somewhat of attempting to fight with a steaming pile of vomit. Your name makes no damn sense, and you appear to need some St. John's Wort. On the plus side, your battlecry is absolutely FIERCE.

    So, there you have it, the creme de la crap of the Kanto region.

    Runners-up for this prestigious award were TANGELA (for looking like an STD contracted by Oscar the Grouch), MAGIKARP (at least you ADMIT to sucking), and ONIX (you're a giant ****ing snake made of rock, but you'd die if you got rained on).

    So, who will win? That decision is up to you.

    Note: If you took offense to any of this, deal with it. I am shameless and you calling me a bad person will not better anyone's situation.
     
    I lol'd at you spelling Jynx wrong.
    And at Tangela.
     
    Pokemon that sucks? Well, to my opinion, Dunsparse, Magikarp and especially the ugly ol' Bidoof. Besides, Jynx can be very useful if it had the right sets...
     
    A challenger appears!

    Actually, I don't think Diglett is too bad. I've used one in an online battle in Diamond before; didn't suck quite that terribly, but then again, this was after pumping it full of what basically equates to steroids (Calcium, Carbos, etc.).

    I still think Lapras is the most deserving just for being such a disappointment. They were kinda cool in the show, when you were curious as to how powerful such a large Pokemon could be - but catching one... God. Dammit.
     
    Diglett's really a lame type, very low in HP and bad in Attacks and Def. Its Speed is it's only asset. And for your opinion, Lapras is a Highly Def and Attacker, it cannot be KO in one hit of Thunder.
     
    im voting based on what produces what. and if you asked me i would vote paras because seriously........paras. at least magicarp makes gyrados tangla makes tangworth jinx....well shes good for something seaking is for some ev trainers. but yea paras sucks monkeybal....o look a nickle


    if i coulda add an option it would be sunkern
     
    Paras is supposed to be derived from the word "parasite"

    Who is the most deserving of crap? Caterpie
     
    Darkhaven3 said:
    A challenger appears!

    Actually, I don't think Diglett is too bad. I've used one in an online battle in Diamond before; didn't suck quite that terribly, but then again, this was after pumping it full of what basically equates to steroids (Calcium, Carbos, etc.).

    I still think Lapras is the most deserving just for being such a disappointment. They were kinda cool in the show, when you were curious as to how powerful such a large Pokemon could be - but catching one... God. Dammit.
    Click to expand...

    Aw. Lapras isn't that bad actually. I have one, and it beats anything it encounters. And there are far worse Pokemon than that. Like...Budew. I know that is supposed to be a bud on its head, but why is it that big? It's bigger than its actual body. o.o
     
    JYNX...I HATE YOU!!!!

    From those nominees... I CHOOSE YOU........JYNX!
    YOU JUST SUCK SEVEN WAYS TO SUNDAY! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY HATRED FOR YOUR ENTIRE KIND. IN EVERY SINGLE GAME YOU ARE IN, YOU SUCK...BADLY. I HATE YOU.. ESPECIALLY IN POKEMON SNAP!

    ...For a second I thought you were going nominate Eevee as useless....

    EEVEE IS THE MOST VERSITILE POKEMON OF ALL!!! except for that cheater ditto...
     
    Caterpee, it is the most piontless useless pokemon.
     
    1.) Metapod
    2.) Kakuna
    4.) Silcoon
    5.) Cascoon

    But then I think to myself, how would a moth/butterfly/bee turn from a crawling to flying quickly


    :t354:TG
     
    ~*!*~Queen Boo~*!*~ said:
    But then I think to myself, how would a moth/butterfly/bee turn from a crawling to flying quickly
    Click to expand...

    Because it happens quickly in real life, actually. Monarch butterflies, for example, mature in less than two weeks.

    That nitpick aside, out of the ones mentioned in the first post, I'd probably have to say Jynx, mostly because the ones I've trained tended to die quickly.

    However, I'd just like to agree with mystery and say Sunkern. It's not even saved by evolution. It's got crappy stats as a Sunkern, and it has crappy stats as a Sunflora. On top of that, I don't care too much for its design, and its movepool isn't particularly impressive, even considering what DP gives it.
     
    The reason I didn't add Sunkern or Dunsparce or anyone is because here I was focusing on the Kanto Pokemon.

    I don't think Caterpie deserves it because in the early games, Butterfree was ballin' up to about level 20.

    And Diglett and Lapras are cool. While it IS a mystery how the hell it can use scratch, cut and slash, Dugtrio gets Earthquake, Tri Attack, and Sand tomb, and its attack and speed are good.

    Lapras has a lot of Defense, HP, and critical blocking. You be trippin', foo. D:<
     
    ~*!*~Queen Boo~*!*~ said:
    1.) Metapod
    2.) Kakuna
    4.) Silcoon
    5.) Cascoon

    But then I think to myself, how would a moth/butterfly/bee turn from a crawling to flying quickly


    :t354:TG
    Click to expand...

    You missed the 3. Lol.

    I actially think that Smeargle is not that good, it hasn't got much advantages, it's moves are somewhat crap and mostly, it's main attack uses a paintbrush. For shame, for shame.
     
    O. guess i missed that bit about kanto region........
    but if so ill go jinx.(i think god jinxed her seeing the way it looks.) people actully use seaking to ev train and paras......sucks but i just dont like the dumb expression on jinxs face.....i mean how many episodes have you seen jinx......at least paras had a full episode about it and it appears in the shows at some point.


    jinx just sucks....
     
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