The Joke Thread

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Yo mama is so fat she makes snorlax look like a stick...
haha?
 
yo mama so fat and stupid she saw her self in the mirror and said hahahaha im gald im not
that fat!
very un funny dont u think
 
Yo mama's so dumb when she saw her reflection in the mirror she called the police yelling "BURGLAR!"
 
Yo mommas so fat not even a Metapod would Harden
 
Yo mama's so ugly that when she registered for an ugly contest the officials said, "Sorry. NO PROFESSIONALS!"
 
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat, she needs 5 alarm clocks for the time zones she covers!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to heck!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Beat them all. i dare ya.
 
Okay, I am the only one who isn't doing those stupid "Yo mama" jokes.

A cowboy came into town on Friday. He stayed for three days. He left on Friday. How is this possible?

Spoiler:


A slug is on a railing in a pond. The pond is thirty feet deep. Everyday he goes up 3 feet and every night he falls down 2 feet. How many days will it take him to get out of the pond?

Spoiler:
 
Your mumas so old she sat behind jeusus in the 3rd grade

Your mumas so fat her blood type is ragu (tpe of spegeti source.)

Funny Thing where two people make o muma jokes its qiute good.
 
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Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy
 
here are some ones I know of.....there were three men working at a construction site...and they are all really hungry..
across the street there is a sandwich sitting on a table...
one man suggests they have a running contest..
so they have a running contest...the first man ran 1 kilometer, the second man ran 500 meters,the third man ran 50 meters...
the second man asks why the third man why he ran so little? I was a little full from that sandwich... "clap" "clap" wow that was long.....ooh I got another one! a man gets a ring on the door bell,he answers the door,but no one is there in frustration he picks up a snail that is sitting on his door step,and throws it into his front yard,two years later the doorbell rings,and standing there is the same snail "what the heck was that all about man!"
 
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Why are we still posting "Yo Momma" jokes? I've already seen about half of them before in this thread.

Cleopatra and her sister were sitting in their house in Egypt.
There was a giant earthquake and they got killed.
Beside their dead bodies was a broken bowl and some spilled water.
How were they killed?

Spoiler:


There was a dead man. Beside him was a un-opened, un-dented, not touched box.
How did he die?

Spoiler:
 
.............huh, those were jokes? i tought you were spaming

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"
 
^VAdvancedK9V^ said:
.............huh, those were jokes? i tought you were spaming

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"
Click to expand...


Well that was rude. OF COURSE it isn't SPAM. Only a complete moron(I can name them) would do that!
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A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.

Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"

"I haven't got any money!"

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More signs your a drunk:

You can focus better with one eye closed.
The whole bar greets you when you come in.
You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like.
You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.

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Person1:yo muma is so ugly she goes in a strip joint and the pay her to keep her cloths on

Peson2: that sent me to collage
 
Where's the English Channel? I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up.
[PokeCommunity.com] The Joke Thread
 
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