The Journey

[Konekodemon]

Staring: Ash, Gary, Kairi and Sora.

Rating: K+

Info: Hey all this is my AU fanfic of Ash(Red), Gary(Blue) and Kairi(Green)'s journey. My character Kairi is not an OC she is Green from the games and manga. You know how Ash and Gary are based on Red and Blue, but are made to be kinda different on the show, well that's Kairi, she is based on Green but made to be different for if they ever did have her on the show. I used the name Kairi cause I don't know what Green's name is supposed to be on the show, cause they never show her. Yet you know she's there as Professor Oak gave away 4 Pokemon. So you know Green had to be one of those Trainers. I will also be making up a OC as there was a fourth trainer that wasn't mentioned either. His name will be Sora. Sorry, I'm using Kingdom Hearts names again, but a lot of animes use the same names, like Cardcaptor Sakura the main character's name is Sakura but on Naruto there is also a girl called Sakura, but no one ever talks about Naruto saying that Sakura's name is a Cardcaptor Sakura name, so don't be saying my character names are Kingdom Hearts names, there not there just the same names. Also I did not copy this idea from Pikalover10 this is more based on the manga then the show. Well it is based on the show some but more the manga. I will be changing back and fourth from character to character with each chapter, I will put the character's name at the top so that you know which character that chapter will be about. They will all be together on the first part though. Anyway onto the fic.


Cards:

Prologue
Pokemon, I choose you!​

Ash

Ash was excited. Today had been his tenth Birthday. So tomorrow he'd set out on his Pokemon journey,'Yes! I am Ash!' He thought,'And now that I'm ten I can finally get my Pokemon license. I can't wait!'

Ash turned on the TV, to the Pokemon fight Channel. It showed a Gengar facing a Nidorino. The Nidorino had fainted. The Nidorino's trainer recalled it and sent out Onix to fight,"Come on Onix! You can do it!" Ash cheered,'But you'll never be better then what I'm going to be starting tomorrow. Yes, I will journey to gain the wisdom of Pokemon training and I hearby declare to the Pokemon world...' Ash picked up his Voltrob clock,'I will be a Pokemon Master! Pokemon Master! That is what I....'

Ash got interuted from his thoughts,"Ash! Get to bed!" His mother called from the doorway. Ash's alarm clock flew from his hand into Delia's,"It's 11:00 and you should be asleep!" Delia told her son.

"But tomorrow I begin my Pokemon journey. I can't sleep," Ash wined.

"Well, if you can't sleep you should at least get ready for tomorrow. Here watch this," Delia said grabbing Ash's remote and changing his TV channel, to the Pallet Town Pokemon News.

Prof. Oak's face appeared on screen,"Good evening Pallet. Tomorrow's the big day for the newest class of Pokemon students. I'd like to introduce you to Bulbasaur..." the screen showed a green looking Pokemon with a bulb on it's back,"Charmander...." It then showed a orange looking lizard with it's tail on fire,"...and Squirtle..." the picture showed a blue looking turtle type Pokemon,"Each one is available for new trainees. Which one will you choose?" Prof Oak explained.

Delia peeked back around the corner,"Go to bed when this is done," she told him.

"Alright! I'm going!" Ash said paying more attention to the TV instead of his mother.

"And change into your Pajamas ok," Delia called, as she went off to get ready for bed herself.

Ash just sit there thinking,'I'm going!'


Kairi

Kairi was watching the same thing that Ash was watching at this very momment,"I can't wait!" She said excited,"Tomorrow's going to be so fun." Unlike Ash's mother though, Kairi's was already in bed sleeping. Kairi too excited to sleep so she cut off the TV and took out a Pokemon PC game. She put it in her Computer and started playing it.

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" She said, as her Pokemon, a Lapres was fighting with a Venasaur. On the game she had gotten to the Pokemon league and was fighting the league champion.

She fought but lost,"Oh! Not again!" Kairi wined. She always kept on loseing to this guy,"Your not taking me down that easy! Tonight I'm going to win!" She said as she continued playing the game. She didn't notice the time. She stayed up until midnight playing that game. She fell to sleep in front of the computer.

Sora

Sora woke up bright and early the next day,"Today's the day!" He said, jumping out of bed. He got his bath things and went into the bathroom, and took his bath. He then got out and changed into his clothes a black tee and blue jeans. He then brushed though his short brown hair. He never liked his bangs though. No matter what he did with them they were always in his face.

Sora then brushed his teeth. He went downstairs for breakfast,"Good morning mom," he said as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning dear," said his mother, as she was at the stove fixing breakfast. It was bacon and eggs with cheese in the eggs. She brought over a plate to Sora,"Eat up sweety. You got a big day ahead of you today."

Sora grabbed a fork, and started eating.

"By the way," his mother said as she sit down next to him at the table,"Which Pokemon are you going to pick?"

"I thought about it since last night. I think maybe Bulbasaur's more my type," Sora said as he ate. He finished up his food and grabbed his bag and headed out the door,"Bye mom, I'll see you whenever I get back." Sora didn't know how long this journey would take him, that's why he had told her whenever, cause he didn't know how long he'd be away.

Anyway all this was on Sora's mind as he walked down to Professor Oak's lab.

Once he got there he knocked on the door. Prof. Oak appeared in the open doorway,"Hey Sora. Your kinda early," he said,"None of the other trainers are here yet."

"Yea Professor. I figured I'd get an early start on my journey. So can I go ahead and pick out my Pokemon?"

"Sure. Come on in Sora," Prof. Oak said inviting Sora inside. Sora went up to the three PokeBalls on the table. They had names written on them. One said,'Bulbasaur.' Another said,'Charmander.' And the last one said,'Squirtle.'

Sora picked up Bulbasaur's ball right away,"Professor can I have Bulbasaur?" He asked him.

"Yes. Good choice Sora. Bulbasaur does seem like your type. Here is your Pokedex and 5 PokeBalls to start you off, Sora. Your Pokedex is your ID. Don't lose it, as it can't be replaced. The PokeBalls are for catching new Pokemon. You may carry up to six with you. But that's it. Catch more and the rest will be sent to my lab here. But you can still use them anytime," Prof. Oak explained all this to Sora.

Sora was listening very carefully to what Prof. Oak had to say,"Ok. Thanks for the advice Professor. I'll see you later. Bye!" Sora called as he left the lab, and started to head out to Route 1.

Gary

Gary woke up that morning and did the same things that Sora did, getting ready to get his first Pokemon. He had already decided on Squirtle. He didn't know what Pokemon Ash would be getting, and he didn't really care anyway.

He went downstairs, to find Daisy eating breakfast,"Hey sis. Grandpa already at the lab?" He asked her as he sit down to get a bite of toast and some cereal.

"Yes he left a few hours ago," Daisy told her big brother.

"Ok," Gary said. He ate his food and went down to the lab. Not even knocking first he opened the doors and walked inside,"Hey Gramps! I'm here for my first Pokemon!" He called.

"Don't be so rude Gary. The Pokemon are all right here. I have only Charmander and Squirtle left," Prof. Oak explained.

"Find," Gary said picking up Squirtle's ball and grabbing a Pokedex and five PokeBalls before Prof. Oak could even offer them to him.

"Want me to explain how to use those?" He asked his grandson.

"I don't need your advice Grandpa. I know how to use a simple Pokedex and PokeBalls," he told him, as he walked out of the lab. Prof. Oak had this confused look on his face,"Well what do you know. He's in kinda a hurry to get going. That's my grandson."

As Gary walked out of the lab, a car pulled up with his fangirls in it saying,"Gary! Gary! He's our man! If he can't do it no one can!"

"Thank you, fangirls!" Gary called, as he walked down the stairs. There were also a lot of people holding up signs and cheering Gary.

Ash, Kairi and Gary

Ash woke up kinda late this morning,"Oh no! What time is it!" He said noticing his clock was broken,"I better go see if Kairi's up." He ran outside in his Pajamas down the road to Kairi's house. He knocked on the door. Kairi's mother answered the door,"Well if it isn't Ash Ketchum. Come on in Ash. Kairi's still asleep. But I'll go wake her.

Ash came inside and sit on the couch in the living room as he waited for Kairi.

Kairi's mother knocked on her daughter's door,"Kairi dear. You awake?" She asked as she opened the door and went inside. Kairi was fast asleep. Her head laiding on her keyboard of her computer. The computer was still on.

Kairi's mother cut the Computer off and shoke Kairi,"Kairi wake up dear."

Kairi jumped awake,"Oh mom!" she said,"What time is it?"

"It's after 9:00," she said,"Ash Ketchum is waiting for you downstairs. You better hurry up. You and Ash are already very late."

Kairi ran downstairs in her nightgrown,"Let's hurry Ash!" She said as she pulled Ash out the door and down the road to Prof. Oak's lab.

Once they got there they heard people saying,"Gary! Gary! He's our man! If he can't do it no one can!"

"Hey excuse us!" Ash said as he was being pulled through the crowd of people by Kairi,"Sorry," Kairi said as she and Ash bumped into someone. They both then got knocked down by Gary.

"Hey! Watch where your going..." Gary started to say but noticed that it was Ash and Kairi,"Well if it isn't Ashy-boy and Kairi Hill."

"Gary?" Ash said as he got up. Gary helped Kairi to her feet. Kairi was thinking,'Wow! It's Gary Oak. He's a hotie!' Kairi had stars in her eyes, and was blushing from head to foot.

"It's mister Gary to you. Show some repect Ash," Gary said.

"Yea, Ash! Show some repect!" Kairi told him.

"But you bumped into him too!" Ash conplained.

But Kairi wasn't listening. All her attention was on Gary,"I'm sorry we bumped into you Gary," she told him.

"That's ok," Gary said,"Kairi right. You may call me Gary."

Ash thought that wasn't very fair. Kairi was getting special treatment by Gary. Gary turned to Ash,"Well, you two snore you lost. Your both very behind. I already got my Pokemon and you don't."

"You got your first Pokemon?" Ash asked.

"That's right loser. And it's right inside this PokeBall," Gary said spining Squirtle's ball in front of Ash's face.

His fangirls started screaming,"Let's go Gary! Let's go! Gary! Gary! Let's go Gary! Let's go! Gary! Gary!"

"Thank you fans. I promise that I will become a Pokemon Master and make the Town of Pallet known all around the world!" Gary called out. His fangirls scream,"Yey!"

"Excuse me," Ash said tapping Gary on the shoulder.

Gary turned around,"Yea?" He asked Ash.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me what kind of Pokemon you got?" Ash asked.

"None of your business. If you two had showed up on time, you would of seen that I got the best Pokemon from Prof. Oak. It's good to have your grandpa in the Pokemon business isn't it?"

Kairi was kinda disappointed. She wanted to know what Pokemon Gary got herself. Gary saw her disappointed face and whispered in her ear,"Don't tell Ash, but it's Squirtle."

"Ok," Kairi whispered back.

Gary then got in his car,"Thank you all for coming out to see history in the making. Now I, Gary Oak am off to learn the ways of the Pokemon Trainer!" His car pulled away with all his fangirls following.

Kairi watched him leave with this impressed look on her face. Ash was thinking,'I'll show you!'

Prof. Oak then appeared around the corner,"So, Kairi and Ash. You two decided to show up after all."

Ash jumped,"Oh, Professor Oak. Where's my Pokemon?"

Kairi ran over,"And mine too Professor!"

"Your Pokemon?" He asked the two of them, looking them both up and down.

"Were both ready Professor," Kairi said, getting excited.

"You both look like your ready for bed. Not for Pokemon Training," he told them,"I hope that your not going to train in your nightclothes."

"Oh, no Professor. We both got messed up this morning. We were a little late. But believe me were both ready for our Pokemon!" Ash explained.

Professor Oak took them both into the lab. Ash got to go first,"I thought about it a lot and it took me a long time, but I finally decided to choose Squirtle," Ash said picking up Squirtle's ball. There was nothing inside.

'Duh! Gary took it,' Kairi thought, rolling her eyes.

"Already taken, Ash. By someone who was on time," the Prof. told Ash.

"Awww. I really wanted this one too. Fine then I choose Bulbasaur!" Ash said opening up Bulbasaur's ball. It was gone as well.

"That one was also taken by a kid who was on time," Prof. Oak explained.

"Well that's no problem. Cause my Pokemon will be Charmander," Ash said as he opened up Charmander's ball. There was a bright flash of light as Charmander appeared before Ash saying,"Char! Char! Charmander, char!"

"Alright!" Ash cheered, as he petted Charmander on the head. Charmander grinned at Ash.

Kairi turned very pale,"Hey! What about my Pokemon?"

"I'm sorry Kairi that was the last one," The Prof. told her.

Ash pushed Charmander over to Kairi,"No Ash. You really wanted that one. You keep it."

"You sure?" Ash asked her.

"Yes Ash. It was my fault we were late. Go ahead. Take Charmander. I'll just wait a little longer for my Pokemon," Kairi told him.

Kairi sit down in the corner looking kinda sad as Prof. Oak gave Ash his Pokedex and five Pokemon and sent him on his way. Ash called Charmander back inside his ball and left.

Prof. Oak saw how disappointed Kairi was, so he walked over to her and sighed,"I shouldn't do this but there is still one left but you see there's a problem with it. I can't understand it at all."

"I don't care Prof., I'll take it!" Kairi told him.

"Ok, don't say I didn't try to warn you Kairi," he said pushing a button as a PokeBall with a picture of a lightning bolt on it appeared.

As soon as Kairi touched it, there was a bright light, as a yellow looking Pokemon with a lightning bolt tail appeared,"It's name is Pikachu," Prof. Oak told her.

"Awwww. It's so cute!" Kairi said reaching out to touch Pikachu.

"Wait don't!" Prof. Oak warned. Too late. Kairi touched Pikachu. Pikachu let loose with a Thundershock. Kairi and Prof. Oak screamed in pain,"Pikachu is an electric type Pokemon. See," He told her.

"Oh, I see," Kairi said.

"Shocking isn't it?" Prof. Oak asked.

"Sure is Professor?" Kairi answered blowing smoke from her month.

Prof. Oak gave her a Pokedex and five PokeBalls,"Here you are Kairi."

"Thank you...." She got ready to say when Pikachu shocked her again.

"Your welcome!" The Prof. said though all the shocks.

Kairi went outside with Pikachu everyone was cheering her on,"Ok Pikachu. Time to get back inside your ball."

Pikachu wouldn't listen. Kairi held Pikachu down, and threw all the shocks, she forced it back into it's PokeBall,"Chaaa!!" Pikachu screamed as he went back inside,'Pikachu? What is wrong with you?' Kairi wondered. Her first Pokemon had to be a Pokemon that hated her,'This could be a problem.'

.....To Be Continued

Note: I know Gary's sister's name is May but I decided to name her after the FireRed and Leaf Green games as there is already going to be a May in this later. The May from Hoenn. Anyway please R&R, and bee nice about it. I know I got some ICs out of character but some people are hard to get in character just right you know.

 

[Spinor]

Umm.. Were did I see this before?

A few days ago?

A few years ago?

...Oh yeah, both.

By just skimming through it (again), I saw too many problems.

I did not like your description at all, basically because there was a Zip-load of Zero Description, Period.

Daisy is Gary's big sister, not little.

And I told you ORIGINALITY. Most of us don't want to see Sora in a Pokemon World. Can you imagine the chaos.

Ok, so Ash gets Charmander:

Originality: 1, Anti-Morality: 0

Kairi gets shocked by Pikachu

Originality: 1, Anti-Morality: 42

Sora is in there.

Anti-Pop-Culture Warrior sadness: 100

I am Blind, I don't know what the heck this looks like...

Description: Fail

No seriously, that color was bad for my theme

Some PC Member with a bright theme: Dead

 

[Pikalover10]

Konekodemon: First off change the colors back to default because I guess the mods don't like it. I had the same problem too because I did it in my fics but then someone in formed me. Anyway, you went to the next person, but like in Kairi to Sora's situation you changed it to the next day. Maybe you could add some more description like tell about them right before and it went very quick. Put more description into it tell how each character is dressed and what they look like.

I'll keep tabs on this story and can't wait for chapter 2:)

 

[Konekodemon]

that isn't Sora and Kairi from Kingdom Hearts, there OCs can't you read I said no conments like that, ─AdvancedK9─

 

[Spinor]

Sorry, I couldn't resist. You base off too many things. Your lack of originality is disturbing me. You should try to come up with names on your own next time.

And thank you for taking off those fugly colors.

 

[Konekodemon]

all my names are going to be based on other things as I don't know japanese and normal english names wouldn't look good in a japanese anime, also it's going to take awhile for the next part to be posted as Pokecharms got rid of the character sprite I was using for Sora

 

[Spinor]

So? Why do you need visual aids for the story?

All successful fanfics I've known NEVER used visual aids. The famous Advanceshipping one from CyberCubed from SPPF, I don't remember the name though, made it to the top of the best, and never used aids, only the description that is done by the most famous.

So I will ask you, if you want to reach for the top, why do you need visual aids?

Edit: The fic was called "Two of a Kind", now I remember XD.

Edit 2: I just saw Ash's Different journey and I LOVED the way you probably based some of this of that. Originality young cricket >:o.

 

[Konekodemon]

I am having trouble writting the next chapter, no matter how I write it, it still keeps on sounding too much like what happened on the show

 

[The Ebon Blade]

I am having trouble writting the next chapter, no matter how I write it, it still keeps on sounding too much like what happened on the show

well i didn't actually read it (if i do it'll be in a little while) but if you don't want it to sound like the show then make them go in a different direction... instead of going to vermilion, pewter, cerulean and eventually back to vermilion... go to cinnabar first. or somtin like that. but always remember to try and make up ur own twists to the story (for lack of a better wrd) by that i mean don't go to cinnabar and have them meet blaire he tells them a riddle, they go to his inn, they find the secret entrance blah blah blah... well u get wat i meen

 

[Konekodemon]

I think my problem is I write out fics like a rpg would be written out

 

[The Ebon Blade]

I think my problem is I write out fics like a rpg would be written out

? that sounds wierd... wat do u mean? like

pikachu uses thunderbolt it inflicts 100 damage...

 

[Konekodemon]

that's why I'm switching between characters like that, is cause I'm writing it out like a rpg, I know I shouldn't but I can't help it, no matter what I do my writing style still always comes out as a RPG Writing Style

 

[Spinor]

Then writing maybe isn't for you. Period.

A good writer has an imagination capable enough of changing the course of something dramatically, but the best writers have enough mental power to create a whole new world from nothing but scratch and brain.

A plain writer can at least type something that makes sense without wierd mixtures.

If you are actually going to do it in that RPG styling, you really can't have titulation of a "Writer". Just try your best, find solutions to complex things. Sometimes the most complex things can end up having an embarrassingly simple solution.

 

[FailWithStyle]

pretty good! Good Job! Wish i was a good fan writer like you ._.

 

[The Ebon Blade]

Then writing maybe isn't for you. Period.

That's a little harsh dude. I'm not that good of a writer either but maybe you should look at it in a different spectrum. If she can write a story like it is a RPG then maybe she has a future in writing story boards for video games. Hell, maybe she can perfect her own original way of writing and make it an incredibly unique story that way... a story that is told as if it were an RPG. I know I like to get into the stories of my RPG's such as Tales of Vesperia and Skys of Arcadia.

 

[Konekodemon]

Chapter 1​

Pikachu! I Choose You!​

Kairi​

Kairi went back home before going out to Route 1. She had too change out of her nightgrown fight. She went inside still holding Pikachu's PokeBall in her hand. A little bit of staic was coming out of the PokeBall and it was shaking like mad. Pikachu was very angry and wanted out...NOW!

Kairi had to hold onto the PokeBall very tightly to keep, Pikachu from coming out. She went upstairs and to her bedroom. She tied Pikachu's PokeBall down onto the bed so he couldn't get out and run away.

Kairi got her clothes and went into her bathroom that was connected to her bedroom and took a shower. She was thinking the whole time while taking her shower, how she would ever get Pikachu to trust her.

Once she was done with her shower she got out and wrapped her towel around her body. She went over to her mirror that was up above her sink, and got out her hair dryer and blew her hair dry. She then brushed it. She then picked up her clothes and got dressed. She then brushed her teeth.

When she came out though, Pikachu's ball was open, and he was gone,"He must have broken though the cords," she decided. She hurried and packed her bag, and ran downstairs.

Pikachu was with her mother, sitting on her lap. Kairi's mother, was rubbing Pikachu's chin and he was smiling and purring with delight. Once he saw Kairi walk in though, he glared at her. Kairi dared not come any closer.

"What a cute Pokemon you got here honey. Did you get it from Prof. Oak?" Her mother asked her.

"Uh, yea. But Pikachu and I need to be going now," Kairi said walking towards Pikachu. He Thundershocked her again. Kairi fell over.

Pikachu jumped out of Kairi's mother's arms, jumped up at the door, turning the nob and opening it. Pikachu ran off.

Kairi got back up,"Pikachu! Come back!" She called after him,"Uh, gotta go mom." Kairi grabbed her bag and ran off after Pikachu.

"Awww. Isn't that so cute. There friends already," her mother said grinning as she watched her daughter run out the door after Pikachu.

Pikachu, ran all the way out to Route 1, where he finually thought he was safe. He saw an apple tree,"Cha!" Pikachu grinned with delight. He ran up the tree, picked off an apple and sit there eating it.

It was then that Kairi ran up,"What do you think your doing Pikachu? You just can't be running off on your own like that," Kairi sighed. Pikachu was getting to be quite a handful. Kairi wondered if maybe she should just give it up. Maybe she should just go back to the lab and return Pikachu to Professor Oak, and just wait a few more days to begin her journey when she could just get a Bulbasaur, Charmander or a Squirtle.

She sit down at the bottom of the tree to think. While, she sit there she siled her bag off her shoulder and sit it beside her,'Hmm, maybe I can trick Pikachu into helping me. Then after I caught my first Pokemon I can just take it back to Professor Oak.' But as she didn't notice while she was thinking this, a wild Ratatta came up and started eating out of her bag,"Hey! Stop that!" She screamed at it.

The wild Ratatta hissed at her. Kairi called up to Pikachu,"Please get down here Pikachu. I need you to fight this Ratatta for me."

"Pi!" Pikachu said turning his head the other way.

"Find then! I'll just have to fight it myself!" Kairi said, as she walked up to the Ratatta and kicked it. The Ratatta wasn't too happy about this. He just jumped at the confused girl and bit her on the toe,"Ahhhhhh!!!!" Kairi screamed in pain.

Pikachu was sitting up in the tree laughing at Kairi. He thought it was so funny that a human would try to fight a Pokemon, themselves,"It's not funny Pikachu! If I had you helping me I wouldn't have to do this!" Kairi told him. Next she picked up a rock, a very big rock and threw it at the Ratatta. It was kinda funny to watch but it worked. The Ratatta was knocked out. Kairi took out a PokeBall and threw it at the Ratatta,"PokeBall go!" She screamed.

The Ratatta was sucked up inside the ball which started to shake, and at last made a dine of a capture,"Yea! See that Pikachu. I got it without your help," Kairi told him.

Pikachu wasn't laughing anymore. In fact it was kinda shocked,"Now, I'm just going to leave you here since you don't want to be with me, Pikachu," Kairi told him. She got ready to walk away when she heard a cry of,"Spear!"

"Huh," Kairi turned around and saw a Spearow. It glared at her, then started flying at Pikachu,"Pikachu! Look out!" She cried.

It was too late. Pikachu was knocked out of the tree,"Pikachu!" Kairi screamed. The Spearow was coming back for more. "Go away!" Kairi screamed as she threw a rock at it.

"Pika pi?" Pikachu asked her.

"Well it's the only thing I could think of," Kairi told him.

Pikachu sighed and then released Thundershock. The Spearow fell to the ground,"Alright!" Kairi cheered. She pulled out a PokeBall and threw it at the Spearow. The Spearow knocked it away. It gave off an angery cry as it started glowing,"What's it doing!?" Kairi wondered.

After it was finished glowing, there was a Fearow in the place where the Spearow had once been,"Guess we should get out of here Pikachu!" Kairi told him. Pikachu nodded his head. Him and Kairi then started running with the Fearow right behind them,"Oh no! It's after us! I don't think were going to make it Pikachu," Kairi cried.

They came to a cliff. The Fearow was closing in on Pikachu. Kairi jumped in front of Pikachu,"Hey! Leave my Pikachu alone!" She cried.

Pikachu screamed,"Pikapi!" Which meant,'What are you doing! Get out of the way!'

The Fearow knocked Kairi off the cliff and into the water. Pikachu realized what Kairi had just done for him. He started feeling something right then. Something? He didn't know what it was. Pikachu thought about it, and realized it was love. He faced the Fearow and let loose with the biggest Thundershock that he could. The Fearow screamed in pain and fell down to the water. Kairi threw a PokeBall,"Now let's try this again! PokeBall go!"

The Fearow was sucked up inside. The ball started shaking, and then dined,"Yey! We did it Pikachu!" Kairi cheered. Pikachu cheered too from where it was up on the cliff. Kairi called out her new Fearow and got it to carry her back up to Pikachu where she hugged it. Her and Pikachu then got on Fearow's back and flew the rest of the way to Viridan City,"There's Viridan City!" Kairi said pointing off in the distense. They had arrived.

A/N: Sorry if it sounds too much like the show. I tried my best to make it not sound like what happened in the show. But no matter what I wrote it still sounded like the show. Also, sorry about posting that Pikachu was able to defeat a Fearow, making it mary-suest, but as I said I couldn't find a way around not making it sound like a mary-sue either. I'll try from now on, not having the characters catching very powerful Pokemon like that, ok. Don't flame me for those two things as I said I tried my best, and even worked on it for days, and this is what I came up with. Also even though this is AU since Ash is in it, yes Jessie, James and Meowth will still be in here.

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

That's a little harsh dude. I'm not that good of a writer either but maybe you should look at it in a different spectrum. If she can write a story like it is a RPG then maybe she has a future in writing story boards for video games. Hell, maybe she can perfect her own original way of writing and make it an incredibly unique story that way... a story that is told as if it were an RPG. I know I like to get into the stories of my RPG's such as Tales of Vesperia and Skys of Arcadia.

I think she means "RP" which is a RolePlay, not a Role Playing Game. 8D

But AdvancedK9, you're too harsh. Just because she writes RP style doesn't mean it's not for her. >_> RPing is still writing, you know.

On the other hand, Konekodemon, the writing isn't of the best quality. You might want to get a beta reader to remove the smallest errors such as:

Pikachu was very angry and wanted out...NOW!

Spelling mistake.

He saw an apple tree,"Cha!" Pikachu grinned with delight.

You need to put "an" in front of words with vowels at the start.

Also, it's really show-ish. Can't you get your own ideas? I mean, seriously. If you can't write outside of the show, don't start in the show. If you start with ONE character with NO Pikachu, that =/= the show, meaning you can write your own story.

 

[Konekodemon]

Yey, I tried very hard to stay away from the show but no matter how I wrote it, it still turned out like the show

 

[Ninja Caterpie]

Okay, try something different. Try making a new story that's not an OT story. There, no chance of being show-like. xD

Alright, if you want an OT story that's not like the anime, restart. Just have one (or two) characters. Do NOT start with Pikachu. Do NOT start in Pallet, either. Make it that they start in...New Bark, for example. Make it a 'fic in Johto. You don't see that much, now, do you? :D And don't give them a starter from the Professor, make it from their parents! Yeah, the egg of a certain Pokemon. Like...Sentret/Furret or something. xD Just throwing some suggestions in there. xD

Or you could make a parody of the show!

 

[Konekodemon]

but I already started on this one, I'm not going to abandon it