The Post Your Problems Thread

[Cherrim]

While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

 

[Percy Thrillington]

While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

But everything he said was true! And she wasn't exactly listening to you, CloudConnected or Cami...

 

[Deleted member 12729]

While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

A rude post for a rude person.

 

[Camisado]

Well I'm done with this saga of the thread.

Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then.

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

The only thing I really need to know is the fact that should I somehow convince mom that I should live with James or just stay here and go to a college that my mom wants me to go to while she takes my disability money away.

 

[processr]

Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then.

That's what all the people with these excuses of disorders do. They strive to be like everyone else until their 'disability' could lead to financial benefit.

HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend. Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money. Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend.

What else can I do then? Like a job? If I could work in the manga business here in the US, I would. I'm much better at drawing Japanese anime than I am American cartoons.

Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money.

I'm not making excuses. I'm giving you reasons why I can't do things. I need to figure out what I CAN do.

Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.

I live in Illinois while he lives in Florida. We're about 3 or 4 states away from eachother.

He told me that even though it really doesn't seem like it, there's a chance I may not like him. If that happens, he'll pay for my plane ticket back to Illinois.

I am listening.

How is it the cowards way out? In the case I can't get a job even with the college degree, I'm stuck. With un-employment rate growing at an alarming rate, chances are, I'm not gonna get the job no matter how hard I work on art.

If anything, disability would be smart.

 

[processr]

I give up. Go ahead and make nothing of your life and mooch off the taxpayer forever. You aren't going to listen to any of us, so well done, you've succeeded in bringing attention to your 'plight'.

 

[Mika]

James was able to live on his own for a while with only $1000. Since he's paying for my rent when we're both going to move in together at his mom's house, I think I'll be able to support myself.

James was able to live on his own for awhile. James is a "single" guy who was living by himself. 1000 bucks in Florida; that's tight but that's doable. Are you sure with your combined disability you're going to have enough? This is much harder than I think you've considered and it's not as simple or as clear cut either.

I already applied for it. In real life, I can barely talk because it almost scares me to. I don't like being in crouds (a small group of people of people I know very well is fine but I still won't say much)

I hate to be harsh but I'm the same way and I got told to beat it and deal with it. Maybe it's different because you're on the spectrum but at the same time, there are people out there with higher levels of severity in their disabilities and they don't have infinite supplies of monies. They have to decline people for funds or reduce the amount people receive. It's an economy.

I can't. She won't let me live on campus...

So you're willing to fly to Florida and defy your mother but you're not willing to defy her and live on campus? I'm not sure I understand, sorry.

Well finding a different college is out of the question because I'm already signed up for it...

Did you know that if you cancel after a certain date you have to pay fees? You better cancel soon or you're going to end up paying for something you never intended to use which is a colossal waste of money.

I'm being put on disability because my mom wants me to pay her rent while I go to a college I don't want to go to. I won't get ANY of that money if I stay until I get out of college and by then, she'll make me get rid of that money to get a job. She's controling my life like it's her own. But it's not.

I have controlling parents too. Just because you turn 18 doesn't make them stop being your parents. There's no real difference between age 17 and 18 or rather the 24 hours that seperate them. It takes time to establish yourself but they're always going to be in your face because well, they're your parents it's what they do. Now is there another side to this? Are you in danger of losing your home? I don't see a huge problem with you helping out your parents with some disability money seeing as they've raised you. If you don't want them to use it, get out of the house. If you're in the house you can't just freeload. Just because you grew up there doesn't entitle you to free room and board. :x

If it's your life, do something about it.

Asperger Syndrome makes it increadably difficult to communicate with others that it scares me to talk.

ADHD doesn't really effect me as much as it did as a child other than the fact that I have a hard time focusing on things.

The Anxiety Disorder just causes me to become increadably cautious.

K, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this segement and other segements before it combined; you're sounding a bit on the excuse side of the disability train. I've worked with people with Aspies and Autism since I was 13 and I know that a good majority of them struggle to work past it. They want to go to college or at least become good working adults, they want to function on their own. You do not seem to realize that your college is required by federal law to have awesome people to help you adjust to college. They'll battle your professors if you get an idiot who won't give you the extra time your paperwork says you need; they'll make sure you feel safe; they'll make sure you feel welcome and that your basic needs are met. You're just willing to walk away form that?

Like I said before, Disability is the best part of college for me. I hate my classes. I hate my professors. I love my student resources. They've helped me so much and I'm a much stronger person than I was. They helped keep me up when the going was tough. :x Yeah, there's parts of life that suck but do you think it's going to be much better in Florida? You're not looking at pure sunshine and rainbows.

He and I just want to live together, so yes.

Have you looked into colleges in Florida near him? A middle ground, where everyone can at least be tolerate of eachother. :x Sure you may be stuck at a stupid college for a semester but if you work with your school, you can transfer down to be near him and you'll still be going to college.

See... hun, I think what you want us to do is to give you a huge hug and tell you that your mother is a witch and that she treats you poorly and how you should just go fly right down to Florida but, looking back on all that's been said, it's obvious that more people than just myself have tried to tell you it's not practical. :x

I know you want to be together near eachother and I know that it's hard to be in a long distance relationship but you have to be patient and bide your time. I really don't want to see you get down there with no money, suddenly no boyfriend and no way home. D: that'd just be horrible.

I guess in conclusion, look over what people have said and think about it. Think about the positive aspects of college instead of all the bad and think about whether or not you're willing to stand up to your mother period. It's great to complain I do it all the time but if you're not willing to stand up and at least try and fight for yourself, you're just going to frustrate people who are trying to help ;;

 

[The Red Chain]

Then explain how I felt when I was younger. I was happy and full of life as a child. People should see me as a happy-go lucky person then. But they didn't. They saw me as a loser. THAT's why I am what I am today.

Okay look.
First of all, you need to get over the past. Time doesn't wait for anyone, and living in the past is certainly not healthy. You need to lift your head up and look towards the future. You don't need to feel like you have to conform to a society that believes beauty only exists on the cover of a magazine. You are a wonderful and beautiful person, you need to have faith in that, and NO, not just because your boyfriend tells you so.
Because you ARE, and that is the pure truth dear.

Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.

Your mom is older than you, she's been through life, she knows a lot better than you do. I'm on your mom's side, as she's pushing you into the correct path, I give serious credit to your mother. She wants you to get a good future started before you even attempt moving out.. it's only the best thing to do. You have to understand your mother has put you into college for your own sake. If you don't get a good education you will never get a good job and you will NEVER be truly happy. Stop believing your mother is holding you back from happiness just cause you can't move in with your boyfriend. Love can wait, you need to get things together first before you even THINK about moving out, or starting a family.
You think your kids will honestly be happy? Having a mother with no job, no education, no self-esteem, and hardly able to support herself, much less her family?
Having kids in your current state is asking for life-term depression.

Also, love is not always forever. How do you know you and your boyfriend won't fight about something?
How do you know things won't get ugly after a while? What will you do if you two break up?
Don't tell me you never will break up, you don't know that.
Just because this is your first boyfriend doesn't mean it will last, and honestly you never truly know someone until you live with them.

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

Did you know that if you cancel after a certain date you have to pay fees? You better cancel soon or you're going to end up paying for something you never intended to use which is a colossal waste of money.

Canceling now would be pointless now. Since I'm already signed up, I think it's already too late.

Have you looked into colleges in Florida near him?

Well no... but it doesn't really matter at this point.

I guess in conclusion, look over what people have said and think about it. Think about the positive aspects of college instead of all the bad and think about whether or not you're willing to stand up to your mother period. It's great to complain I do it all the time but if you're not willing to stand up and at least try and fight for yourself, you're just going to frustrate people who are trying to help ;;

It isn't a matter of thinking about it anymore. I have no choice but to go because I'm already signed up...

I've always let people walk all over me before. I'm not a very assertive person and I probably never will be. I'm guessing it's because I fear about what others may think of my oppinion because I always think of the worst. Sometimes I just can't help it...

You are a wonderful and beautiful person, you need to have faith in that, and NO, not just because your boyfriend tells you so.
Because you ARE, and that is the pure truth dear.

But how can I believe that when only my boyfriend and you, just now, said that? Have you seen what I look like? You and I haven't really talked to eachother so you don't know my personality.

Love can wait

What happens if James isn't as healthy as I thought he was? I don't know the condition of his organs. What if his illness gets worse to the point that he's on his death bed and I'm stuck here in Illinois? If that ever happened... I'd lose it.

My love has a timer that ticks faster because unlike most couples, I have a boyfriend whose life is going to be significantly shortened because he had to draw the short straw at birth and had to be born withh Wilson's... In other words, I have a limited time with him before I lose him forever...

You think your kids will honestly be happy? Having a mother with no job, no education, no self-esteem, and hardly able to support herself, much less her family?

I have an education. If I wanted to, since I have two years or Horticulture and Agriculture, I could become a Florist.

And having no job to spend more time at home would be good because that means more time of togetherness with my family.

How do you know things won't get ugly after a while? What will you do if you two break up?

In every relationship, there is always bound to be a fight about something.

If it makes him happier to be away from me, I'll be happy. I love him so much that I want him to be the happiest he can be.

Just because this is your first boyfriend doesn't mean it will last, and honestly you never truly know someone until you live with them.

If James doesn't want to be with me then that'll be the end of relationships for me, because in my mind, James is my first and last. If I went to find someone else whether we broke up or James died, I'd feel like that love for him has been in vain.

 

[幕之内 一歩]

Maybe this is a problem, maybe it isn't. But I felt this was the best place to post my 'problem', a gripe if you will.

Recently I just finished watching a television series called Kings. At first I was skeptical because TV these days has not been able to hold my attention. Full of horrendous 'reality' TV, TV shows with more twists and turns than there really needs to be in a show, and then just plain ol'horribly written, horribly cast and horribly acted TV shows.

Kings was different. Despite having so many religious tones, for instance

Spoiler:

The main character is named David Shepherd and in the first episode he blows up a tank called a Goliath.

The show never really tried to impress upon you 'Oh believe in God. Here is Gods message. God is great!" It's a very well written show that is loosely based on the biblical story of King David.

The cast is perfect for all their roles. The writing is excellent, some of the best I've seen for a television series. Normally I groan when I watch TV because you can always tell the difference between television and movie written scripts, but not here. It feels like a movie quality script and the acting is top notch, some of the best I've also seen for TV.

But enough of proclaiming how much I love this show and why you should watch it. My gripe is this, after finishing the first season recently on hulu.com (which I suggest you guys go give a chance if you have the mind to) that the series was canceled.

It was like a blow you weren't expecting. It really sucks that after all this time in the horrible TV these days, that I finally manage to find a gem worth watching and they've already canceled it.

A side note, please don't respond with all these shows I should watch that are 'awesome'! because you'll be wasting your time and breath as I won't give any of that a second thought. I'm peculiar about TV and I rarely watch any besides sports or movies. I'm just here to gripe and complain and if you want, by all means just ignore it.

 

[Camisado]

Any excuse to move away from the previous topic is welcome.

幕之内 一歩, I had the same problem with a series that was televised in Canada, and was released on Virgin On Demand over here - jPod, based on a novel by my favourite author. There was a massive cliffhanger at the end ("I think she's in a coma") and then the series was cancelled; no further episodes to be made for a second season.

I'm also very picky about my TV viewing, and this was pretty darn irritating, because it was the brain child of a man I adore and admire.

I know, there is far too much trash like Big Brother and other reality TV shows. English TV is full of reality TV - there's one on right now about people having plastic surgery, and following their stories. Boring and shallow; well done, England. Pop Idol, Britain's Got Talent, Strictly Come Dancing? Seriously?

I am lucky that there is one channel on the Freeview and satellite services we have that plays decent things I enjoy (quiz shows and comedians mostly, as well as Top Gear), and some hidden gems like Stephen Fry's Kingdom and Channel 4's The IT Crowd. Other than that, you have to wonder how certain things stay on air and other things get cancelled even though they're thought-provoking, enjoyable and worthwhile. =/

I hope I understood your point. ^^

 

[The Red Chain]

But how can I believe that when only my boyfriend and you, just now, said that? Have you seen what I look like? You and I haven't really talked to eachother so you don't know my personality.

What happens if James isn't as healthy as I thought he was? I don't know the condition of his organs. What if his illness gets worse to the point that he's on his death bed and I'm stuck here in Illinois? If that ever happened... I'd lose it.

I have an education. If I wanted to, since I have two years or Horticulture and Agriculture, I could become a Florist.

And having no job to spend more time at home would be good because that means more time of togetherness with my family.

In every relationship, there is always bound to be a fight about something.

If it makes him happier to be away from me, I'll be happy. I love him so much that I want him to be the happiest he can be.

If James doesn't want to be with me then that'll be the end of relationships for me, because in my mind, James is my first and last. If I went to find someone else whether we broke up or James died, I'd feel like that love for him has been in vain.

Actually Chibi, I have talked to you.
Many many times, but it was years ago and it was on Serebii forums instead of here. I do know your personality, but now you seem much more complicated and hard headed than you used to be. Why the crap would I care about looks? I don't care what you look like, looks don't ever matter. My point being, everyone is great on the inside, even if they display a foul personality. That's just influence from their surroundings, such as their peers, no one is truly bad. You are a great person, you just need to learn to live a little, it'll be for the better. Well, if James does become even more sick, you can always take off from whatever job you are at, or take days off of school to visit with him. By society's terms you won't have an education if you don't go to college. You'll end up saying 'ding fries ready' for the rest of your life if you don't get a degree of some sort ; at the very least Associate's. More time with your family? You can always spend time with your family. If you have a job you can always take the shift during the day when your child/ren are at school, then at night you can come home and spend time with them. Counting on James's parents for money, or the government's money to support your family is such a foul and pitiful thing to do. It's shameful to count on someone else to support you, when you can very well get a job to do so yourself. Off topic a bit, don't you also think it's way too early in your relationship to be planning children? You've not even met the guy in person, and you've only known him for 5 months.. I dunno, but in my eyes that's much too early to plan something so huge.
Chibi, you are missing the point. The point is, you need to get a degree to prove your education, and you need to get a job.

If you truly love James you'll do anything you can to support him for the rest of his days. Do you seriously think James is going to be proud to say his girlfriend is degree-less AND job-less?
I wouldn't be, that's for certain. I'd be embarrassed to admit such a thing. Just because you stay by his side does not by any means show dedication.
True dedication is a hard-working girlfriend who is willing to bust her ass to get the money you two need to live a good life, instead of feeding off the government when that money could be going towards someone who, persay, is in a wheelchair and isn't mobile enough to get the money themselves.
That is truly sad, really.

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

I am lucky that there is one channel on the Freeview and satellite services we have that plays decent things I enjoy (quiz shows and comedians mostly, as well as Top Gear)

This sounds like the epic channel of Dave, am I correct? :D

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

Actually Chibi, I have talked to you.
Many many times, but it was years ago and it was on Serebii forums instead of here.

Wait... What? What was you username there? Sorry... I have bad memory, plus I've been going to Serebii for four years now (I still go there but the place has gotten very dull to me for some reason, but I just can't seem to leave because of my friends there)

Why the crap would I care about looks? I don't care what you look like, looks don't ever matter. My point being, everyone is great on the inside, even if they display a foul personality. That's just influence from their surroundings, such as their peers, no one is truly bad. You are a great person, you just need to learn to live a little, it'll be for the better.

Live a little by doing what? My 'friends' never visit me or invite me to parties. The only real friends I seem to have would be my friends online and James and I can't actually hang out with them because they're miles away. SOMETIMES my little sister's friends'll ask if I want to walk with them, but very rarely.

Well, if James does become even more sick, you can always take off from whatever job you are at, or take days off of school to visit with him.

What if my parents don't even let me do that? They'll probably say something very stupid like 'You can't go because we have no money'. I'll be stuck here because my parents are concerned about there own money. If mom hadn't decided that I should pay here rent with all my disability, I'd be able to pay for a plane ticket myself, but instead, no, I can't be that lucky...

I do NOT want James to go with me not being able to get atleast one last 'good bye'. That would kill me if that happened...

Off topic a bit, don't you also think it's way too early in your relationship to be planning children? You've not even met the guy in person, and you've only known him for 5 months.. I dunno, but in my eyes that's much too early to plan something so huge.

I don't think so. Planning doesn't mean we have to have 'em right away.

If you truly love James you'll do anything you can to support him for the rest of his days. Do you seriously think James is going to be proud to say his girlfriend is degree-less AND job-less?
I wouldn't be, that's for certain. I'd be embarrassed to admit such a thing. Just because you stay by his side does not by any means show dedication.
True dedication is a hard-working girlfriend who is willing to bust her ass to get the money you two need to live a good life, instead of feeding off the government when that money could be going towards someone who, persay, is in a wheelchair and isn't mobile enough to get the money themselves.
That is truely

sad, really.

Yeah... I would, but he doesn't like the idea of the fact that I would be working and he's staying at home. He feels that the man should work while the girl stays home. He WANTS to work, he just can't...

 

[Camisado]

This sounds like the epic channel of Dave, am I correct? :D

You are very correct. Long live Dave! \o\

 

[The Red Chain]

What if my parents don't even let me do that? They'll probably say something very stupid like 'You can't go because we have no money'. I'll be stuck here because my parents are concerned about there own money. If mom hadn't decided that I should pay here rent with all my disability, I'd be able to pay for a plane ticket myself, but instead, no, I can't be that lucky...

Yeah... I would, but he doesn't like the idea of the fact that I would be working and he's staying at home. He feels that the man should work while the girl stays home. He WANTS to work, he just can't...

Pay for a plane ticket? See if you had a job you could get money a completely different way, this proves you are counting on only your disability money to fulfill your needs. Well, since James can't work, someone has to. That someone being you. There is always time to spend with James, you act like working or going to school is going to make it impossible, when in fact the money from working can be saved up for a plane ticket. Just start off slow, get a part time job to get the money you need to go see James. Since you are over 18, you do not by any means have to listen to your parents. If you are using your own money, there is not any real way they could stop you other than complaining about it. =/
Then once you move you can quit your part time job and start a new one closer to James, and/or transfer to a college near his home.
You are really making this much more complicated than it actually is..

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

Pay for a plane ticket? See if you had a job you could get money a completely different way, this proves you are counting on only your disability money to fulfill your needs. Well, since James can't work, someone has to. That someone being you. There is always time to spend with James, you act like working or going to school is going to make it impossible, when in fact the money from working can be saved up for a plane ticket. Just start off slow, get a part time job to get the money you need to go see James. Since you are over 18, you do not by any means have to listen to your parents. If you are using your own money, there is not any real way they could stop you other than complaining about it. =/
Then once you move you can quit your part time job and start a new one closer to James, and/or transfer to a college near his home.
You are really making this much more complicated than it actually is..

Mom wants me put on the disability until I'm done with college. After the two year community college, she wants me and James to get married (Which is great, I'm just a little bummed that I have to wait two years to be. >->)

I know I legally don't have to but I feel like I almost have to, to avoid being yelled at. Yelling scares me more than you know. In fact, knowing my dad whenever he yells, I get so scared that I have to hide upstairs. Mom doesn't yell as loud but she can scare me too.

 

[Hyper Chibi Absol]

I hate being yelled at, too. But I know that if I had the power to stand up for myself, I would use it to my advantage to do so. :3

Only age is the thing that I can use, but I'm much too timid to say 'no' to my parents.