Try to actually read my post, reflect on it, then reply. Opposed to wanting to defend whatever I'm saying and make more excuses... because we all know how that's going to be. It'll end up with you getting nowhere.
You don't know what it's like to feel trapped in one spot with no way out, against your will. You don't know my parents. My dad used to beat me while my mom made me felt so guilty, I cried. THAT's how they parent, not just me, but my little sister and my little brother.
And... you don't know my parents. Who's to say that I haven't had a worse childhood than that? Lately, it has been improving dramatically, but when my dad feels that he doesn't have the money to support my brothers and I, he turns into a completely different person and there's no one around here that can help him get out of it. The only person who could would be my mother, who died. You're acting like you're the only one in the world who has a problem and putting that in your top priority at the current point in time. Granted deciding between going to college and not is a difficult choice, one that will affect the rest of your life, you'd think that when so many people in this community (especially Mika) have tried to help you, have tried to reason with you, have tried to give you options, that you'd realize that your only choice in life is not to move in with your boyfriend and live off of money that is ultimately given by other people. You're not a little girl anymore, you know. This choice alone should not have waited until after you graduated from high school. This is something you should have been thinking about all your life. It could very well be one of the most important decisions in somebody's life.
I'll do what people suggest me as long as it leaves my parents out of the question. If my parents found out ANYTHING I'm going through, I might as well be dead... That's pretty much all it comes down to because if I'm put on meds again, I will kill myself... I can't go through that again...
You're resorting to suicide over one choice (out of so many others) in life and questioning me calling you immature? You're acting like your parents are never going to find out about whatever the choice you do make when they are. They're probably going to find out sooner rather than later, and most likely, they do know what's going on with you already. Parents aren't these stupid little things anymore that raise you until you're 18 and don't want anything to do with you. Clearly your parents care about you or they wouldn't be putting so much pressure on you. Regardless of what happened in your past, the past is the past and there is nothing that you can do to change it. You can sit there and think about how horrible of a childhood you had, or you can let it shape you. You can let it make you become a better person and say "Hey, I don't want to have kids and treat them like that. I want to be able to provide for them in a way my parents couldn't provide for me. I want to make sure that my children live happy childhoods and see that I care for them more than anything in the world."
Immature? You may think so because we're two different people. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis.
That right there is what makes you immature. Saying that nobody knows what you go through and acting like you have the worst possible life you could have when in fact you don't. You don't have the worst life you could have, and there are many many people out there who don't even have parents. There are people out there who don't have a privilege to go to college. After all, going to college is not at all a right. It's a privilege. If you don't want to take advantage of that privilege, so be it. The ultimate decision rests on your shoulders, however. The way I see it, the only thing stopping you from going to college is the fact that you don't want to do it because that's what your mother wants you to do. You're going to ruin your future if you do something as selfish such as that. There are colleges all around the world. Apply to one close to the ones you care about because that obviously seems important to you. But at the same time, ask yourself what you're going to lose if you don't decide to go to college. Think of all the open doors that would be shut closed right before you if you skip going to college. Not the mention how you're going to look at the decision in the long run. This is not a short term decision. Once you make a decision of going to college or not, your life changes completely. Regardless of the decision you make.
Look... I need answers from people who don't resort to posting rude comments and thinking I'm acting like a child when I'm trying to make a choice between life and death.
Hardly life and death. You're trying to make a choice between going to college and spending the rest of your life with your boyfriend. I'd hardly call that life and death; don't be so dramatic. Besides, you posted here pages ago. So many people have tried to help you in these pages, you turned down every single one of them with an excuse that came out of nowhere, and you expect people to smile about it? No. I was simply saying what so many other people were begging to say, but didn't have the heart to do so due to the fact that you were in such a problematic time in your life. But in reality, this is only such a bing as a problem as you're making it out to be. You're overdramatizing the situation, saying that if you do something, you're going to die, compared to if you do something else, your life won't be the same. You think school is hard, try living on your own. If you're not ready for moving onto higher education, what makes you think you're ready to live on your own? You think you can just move into his mothers house and expect her to treat you like royalty or something? I highly doubt she's that nice. Eventually, cases such as these always end up the same way. The one you're moving into draws the line when you do something to piss them off and they throw out an ultimatum. What would you do if you didn't have the ability to get a decent paying job when that ultimatum was finally given? Nothing. You would find someone else to take you in and do the same thing over again.
My point is. If you decide not to go to college just because you don't want your mother to think she's won, you're being very vain and very selfish. Sometimes, you have to "pull one for the team", so to speak. The team being the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The people you care about. The people who care about you. I assure you, you not going to college is going to be something that, to be frank, will ruin your life. And if you think childhood is hard... what makes you think adulthood is any easier? Adulthood is far harder than childhood, especially when you're living alone with a family. College is the transaction as far as I'm concerned between childhood and adulthood. It prepares you for what's behind getting that college degree. It prepares you to a little game known as life that we all have will be playing one day.
Clearly I'm not here to attack you or I wouldn't have wasted ten or so minutes out of my day to try to show you something as there's a difference between being rude and being honest.
