The Post Your Problems Thread

[Cherrim]

I think almost everywhere you have to be 21+ in order to rent a car.

But even working part-time on weekends, if you can manage it, isn't too bad. Like Penetrait said, bosses are understanding (especially if you're a good worker) and taking a day or weekend off here or there probably wouldn't be too big of a deal.

 

[PelipperMail]

My Mind Has Tricked Me :|

Greetings, PokéCommunity.

I'm going to discuss emotions that I've been feeling today, and how my mind tricked me.

I will start by talking about part of my day.

As an Australian, I am privileged enough to be able to collect the Snarl Zorark distribution this month from EBGames stores. Today, I decided to head off to the nearest EBGames store, which is a very popular outlet, and pick up this event Pokémon. Now, I didn't want to go by myself, so I decided that my girlfriend should tag along. It's her birthday quite soon, and I figured that she would drop some hints if we went shopping. So I called her up, and she was in a relatively grumpy mood. She insisted that she as grumpy because she was tired, but I could sense something else was wrong. I would ask her later. I would also try to cheer her up, by buying her some early birthday presents.

Lacking a driver's license, my girlfriend and I caught the bus. The drive itself is quite uneventful, but the social interactions between my girlfriend and me were not: her mood had not changed. She was getting mad quite unreasonably, very unprovoked anger. I was certain that something was wrong, but she still wouldn't tell me.

Before I went to pick up my Zoroark, I went to a rival gaming store, in hopes of there being FireRed for cheap. There wasn't, but there was a very cute Axew plush doll that I bought. It's really, really cute and fluffy and very realistic in comparison to its sprites.

Anyway, I arrived at the EBGames store to collect my Zoroark. Confidently, Awkwardly, I walked up to the counter and inquired about this distribution, and to my horror, they were not distributing it. I was absolutely Outraged. My girlfriend laughed – the first joyful thing that she had done I had witnessed all day.

Subsequently, my girlfriend and I travelled to the nearest clothing store, where she discovered some bathers that she really wanted. They were $30 per pair. In an attempt to cheer her up, I paid for them. I knew she would do exactly the same thing for me. She had a big smile on her face. No later than one metre out of the store, she returned back to her grumpy mood. I asked if she would like to go home, or do a little bit more shopping, and her reply is too rude to put down.

As I stared at her in disbelief, I realised something. I am not in love with her, I am in love with the idea of her – the bright, creative girl that is generous, gentle, nerdy and would kiss me when I'm upset. But when I talk to her, or am I actually around her, very rarely does she impress me intellectually or otherwise, not to that she never does, but it is rare. She seems tolerant and accepting of me, but then when she actually talks, she never lives up to this expectation.

[FONT=&quot]Basically, I've created a persona, which amplifies her good qualities and diminishes her bad ones and I have attributed this persona to her. I am in love, but I'm not in love with her.
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Today has been quite emotional for me, and I'm very confused about what I should do. I still cannot fathom why she was in such a bad mood, maybe it was my fault. Apologies for digressing during this post, I'm finding it hard to think straight lol. [/FONT]

 

[quilzel]

Wow, I do feel sorry for you. I have been there in a sort of way. Except mine was more long distance and it didn't work for very long. Allow yourself time to cope. But I think it would be in your best interest to move on. You might wait before actually braking up, so your mind can comprehend that it is best for you two to part ways.

Its a good thing that you discovered this before you married and where long down the road. It may not be your fault for her foul mood. Whatever the cause if your not in love then there is no reason to stay with her. As you've said your in love with the idea of being in love. Use what you have learned here, if someone else comes along then hopefully you won't accidently make the same mistake.

Whatever you choose: I wish you luck.

 

[Alley Cat]

@PelliperMail

If that's the person she is, she'll hardly change for you. I've been through this first hand too, man. They ended up leaving me for someone else(Ironically, that person said no and got with someone else), and even the person they left me for said they treated me like ****. Why did I share that? They are kind of similar in person.. and maybe you could take from my experience.

But... like I did.. if you truly wish to be with this person(which I don't think you do) then you could try working at them. You could let them know how you feel, and if they care about you, they'll stop stepping all over you. Maybe they don't realize how they are hurting you? Talk with them.. communication is key. If she seems uninterested in what you say, or doesn't seem to be getting any nicer.. then well.. drop her then.

Ultimately, it's your choice what you do.

 

[Kerberos]

My long term problem is an arranged marriage, my short term problem is finding a girlfriend to get out of the arranged marriage. The clocks ticking got louder when random people were takings pictures of me more then my other family at my sisters wedding a couple of months ago. I'm next in line and i'm freaking out because i'm a nice guy and will probably get suckered by my family into marrying someone who won't like pokemon for example...

But for those people with family problems some advice living with it since i was small with a mixture of violence, make your voice heard. Don't sit back and hope problems will solve themselves, be one too try to solve problems so if it comes back to haunt you at least you could say you tried and not regret doing nothing at all.

 

[Melody]

My first suggestion to you Kerberos is to stop and talk to your parents and family if/when they bring it up. You need to put your foot down. Tell them that, in no uncertain terms, that you will not accept an arranged marriage. Be sure they understand that you want NO SUGGESTIONS from them regarding your love life. Do not let them dictate who you decide to court...that's your decision anyway, and it is usually better if parents and family STAY OUT of that domain.

If you can tell them that respectfully and calmly, that should get them to back off your case unless your culture dictates otherwise. I'm speaking from a purely American standpoint so please take that into consideration when reading this.

If your culture encourages such marriages, please take this time now to consider breaking from 'Tradition'. Your parents may rage against it now, they may even try to thwart you...but they will understand when you are grown...and happily living with whomever you chose for yourself.


Above all, just make sure your parents and family keep out of your love life. They don't have the right to push you into marriage...that's your choice to pursue (or not pursue) once you become an adult...don't let them tell you otherwise, and DO NOT TOLERATE any discussion of the subject. Walk out of the room, or walk away if they try to bring it up. Throw on a minor rage face if you need to. Do whatever the situation allows to make it, respectfully, but very clear...you will not tolerate any pressure to find a mate and marry.

If you stand firm then you may not have to worry about it so much.

 

[Kerberos]

Finding a girlfriend sounds like a much easier solution since i've had many talks with my parents regarding this :/ but thanks for the encouragement

 

[Sydian]

I don't wanna sound like...terrible, but honestly, if I were in your situation, I would just like...get a female friend to "date" me just to get out of it. Or something. That might not be a bright idea, but you know, if worse comes to worse, I'd consider it. That's just me though. I just don't like the idea of anyone being in a loveless marriage, and especially being forced into it at that. Good luck with everything though, man. I really hope you can loophole out of it.

 

[Pokemoerules]

Blah, did I mess up?

So yesterday I told my best friend who is a girl that I liked her, and I did for 5 years, after I told her I kissed her. A normal 2-5 second kiss. But then she walked away and hasnt said anything sense. I dont know what to do.

 

[chella182]

Today has been a really bad day. I was out until 4am, having a great time, came home, went to sleep. But then when I wake up my mam starts an argument. I won't bore you with why we were arguing, but nothing unusual there really. But she starts calling me all sorts of names. She called me a retard and that I need a personality transplant which I think is just... totally out of line. Anyway, I ran upstairs crying (I barely ever cry, but honestly it's upset me so much). My mam went our for a few hours. Now she's back, and I was kind of hoping for an apology. But I've had nothing. She's not even spoken to me. I'm just... so deflated right now. I've been depressed for a while now since I moved back home after university, but today's kind of proved to me that I should never have come back home. I mean, I understand it must be difficult for her with me back 'cause I've been away for 3 years, but I don't think she gets that it's difficult for me too with her continuously "reminding me" that it's "her house" and stuff, 'cause I've been self-sufficient for 3 years.

End.

 

[MurkMire]

This is something that's been bother me for a while, so I'll throw it out there. I'm mainly just get it off my chest.

I'm not really sure if I truly can have a genuine relationship with people anymore. With women, it's something I won't explain here because there could be young ones reading. >>;; And with guys, it's really just a matter of, "Let me talk about all the things going wrong in my life while you listen." That's what I've turned into, kind of.

I'm trying to make more friends, but it's hard. I feel like I'm trapped in my life, and there's just the mediocrity of living. If that's even a word, woohoo.

Anyway, I just want to say, at this point in my rambling, that I'd like to have more friends. And in doing so, I can relearn what it means to be human.

 

[Alley Cat]

You can. But you need to be open. You can't be negative. The wheel that squeaks is the wheel that get's oiled. Go out with people you know. Go to local gatherings, concerts, etc. Talk to someone new at school or work. The world is full of all kinds of wonderful people, you just have to find them.

 

[deoxys121]

So my grandma has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Which means, in the next few years, she won't be around anymore. I already have plans made to go visit her (she lives in Florida with my aunt) this January. But, it's definitely tough to talk to her on the phone and she doesn't initially remember who I am. And it will be tough knowing that each time she sees me, she might not recognize me initially, or eventually not at all. I just have to make the best of it, though. Even if she eventually doesn't remember who I am, I will always still remember who she is long after she's gone.

 

[Nihilego]

A friend's dad has a brain tumour and I don't know what to say to him. He wants to talk to me about it but I don't know how to respond and I wanna be ready with something useful at the time. Halp.

 

[miltankRancher]

@Razor Leaf: If I am in your position, i would just let my friend talk. Sometimes, circumstances only require a shoulder to lean to, not a mouth to talk with. Just listen to his/her problems.

I'm having a hard time managing time. :\

 

[lacella]

broke up with boyfriend, feel like crap.

probably will overexercise, watch a million movies, and hide away from the real world for a while.

razor leaf - just be there for your friend. even if you guys don't say anything after he talks about it. just your presence will help a great deal. (:

 

[Esper]

broke up with boyfriend, feel like crap.

probably will overexercise, watch a million movies, and hide away from the real world for a while.

razor leaf - just be there for your friend. even if you guys don't say anything after he talks about it. just your presence will help a great deal. (:

Do what you need to do. Just come out for some sunshine every few days and don't kill yourself with too much exercise.

 

[lacella]

Do what you need to do. Just come out for some sunshine every few days and don't kill yourself with too much exercise.

will do :'(

i'm just imagining this really weird scenario where i finally come out to get some sun and end up a hissing, molting mess...

<___<;

haha. but we had a talk and i think we'll be ok...

so right now my problem is awkwardly hanging out with highschool friends i've kind of hermited from for like 2 years. LOL. man. i still have no idea why i did that, and it's awkward to try and explain. "oh, just hated the world for a while..."

 

[Captain Fabio]

broke up with boyfriend, feel like crap.

probably will overexercise, watch a million movies, and hide away from the real world for a while.

Worst thing you could possibly do.

I know you are upset but hiding away is a rather pointless thing to do because there is no reason why a relationship ending should be the reason for your real life existence to stop for a while.

Be around friends.​

​

 

[-ty-]

The exercise, if not take overboard, could be a good way to blow of steam, and keep yourself in good physical shape. So that is not a bad idea. Make sure that you eat enough.

Make sure that you also don't mope around in bed, although it may feel like it is the only thing you can do. Make sure that you get up, shower, stay active, see friends(mostly the ones closest to you), and try your best to move on, and not dwell in the past. I know that it is easier said then done, but those are some of the things that I had to do after I broke-up with my ex.

Hope things get better for you! :)