The Quick Claw Chronicles: Anti Challenges Emerald's House of Horrors, the Battle Factory

Anti

return of the king
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    The Quick Claw Chronicles: Anti Challenges Emerald's House of Horrors, the Battle Factory
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    Introduction
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    Those who know me know that I'm an avid Emerald player, and I have finally RNGed enough of my army of Pokemon to begin my run at the Battle Frontier. The only facility I've never gotten Gold in is the Battle Factory, but those symbols were all on a different cartridge. I decided to try to slay the Factory first to get my personal hell out of the way first, so I began my journey for Silver and Gold.

    I first saw defeat just a few opponents before Noland after a last Pokemon Quick Claw Slowking had its Quick Claw activate against my Gyarados, which was about to KO it. No matter, Gyarados can survive it! Unless it's a crit, and since it's the Frontier, of course the Slowking got a crit as well. Regardless, I recovered and got my first shot at Noland and the Factory's Silver Symbol. I see you shiver with antici—

    —pation.


    Clouds of War
    _____________________________________________


    As the tragically awkward Factory attendant gathered himself upon hearing that his boss (and idol, presumably) would soon deign to make an appearance, my nervousness began to overtake me. Unlike every other Frontier Brain, Noland does not have a consistent team, instead opting for the same crappy rental Pokemon that challengers are forced to cope with.

    (How bad are they? It's like being on the Island of Misfit Toys or something. Special attacking Gyarados is a thing. Endure/Flail Meganium makes "Charlie-in-the-Box" blush. Sheesh. Yet these terrible Pokemon always manage to beat you, which just makes the slap in the face sting all the more.)

    Before I knew it, the attendant shooed me into the Factory's battling area, where Noland greeted me at the door. Like Ralphie's presence of mind disappearing in front of Santa in his effort to acquire a Red Ryder BB Gun, I suddenly forgot how to move my legs. "Hey, Hey! Get a move on!" he commanded, signaling to follow him to the middle of the room. I mindlessly obeyed before beginning to gather myself.

    Noland proceeded to introduce himself: "Hey, my name's Noland! I'm basically in charge of this place, which is why I'm the Factory Head! I had a look at your Battle Swap data. [#markzuckerberg] You seem to have the right idea, but you're still square in your head! Listen up, okay? [Meh.] Knowledge isn't only about reading books or doing desk work. Just doing that sort of thing... It may as well be useless! You have to experience things with your heart and your body, understand? [I sure do ;)] I'll take you on under the same conditions as you. I'll be using rental Pokémon too! Shake out every last bit of your knowledge and bring it on! [LET'S GET IT.]"

    With that, we at last began!

    My Team
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    Though Noland's team was a mystery, I still knew my own!

    "image removed""image removed""image removed"

    Their movesets were as follows (and a major thank you to Peterko's Frontier database thread for this exact information!):

    SALAMENCE (3), hardy, salac, 331,369,196,319,196,236, double-edge, earthquake, crunch, endure
    TENTACRUEL (3), modest, shell bell, 301,158,208,261,276,278, surf, giga drain, ice beam, mirror coat
    ELECTABUZZ (3), quirky, lum, 271,202,150,289,206,309, thunderbolt, cross chop, ice punch, fire punch

    A Battle Commences
    _____________________________________________


    Factory Head Noland would like to battle!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Breloom!
    Go! Salamence!
    Salamence's Intimidate cuts foe Breloom's Attack!

    Commentary: Hmm, Breloom...

    BRELOOM (3), adamant, leftovers, 261,394,196,140,156, 239, iron tail, focus punch, attract, spore

    I know its set, and it doesn't really threaten Salamence too much despite the threat of Spore. (Breloom was female and Salamence was male, so I was also vulnerable to Attract, but YOLO.)

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Foe Breloom used Iron Tail! Salamence lost 41% of its health!
    Salamence used Double-Edge! Foe Breloom lost ~77% of its health! Salamence is hit with recoil! (20% of its health)
    Foe Breloom's Leftovers restored its HP a little! (6% of its health)

    Commentary: Bad start. First of all, I forgot that my minimum Speed Salamence was outsped by maximum Speed Breloom (~_~), and secondly, Double-Edge got me into Iron Tail KO range. At this point, I had to weigh factors like it possibly Sporing me—the AI does not always act rationally, but it could give Breloom a margin for error given Iron Tail's accuracy—or even Attracting me. Iron Tail could also miss as well. I knew Tentacruel could outspeed it, but if I brought Tentacruel into a Spore in an effort to preserve Salamence, I could lose an extra Pokemon needlessly. Thus...

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Foe Breloom used Iron Tail! Salamence lost 39% of its health!
    Salamence fainted!
    Go for it, Tentacruel!
    Foe Breloom's Leftovers restored its HP a little! (6% of its health)

    Commentary: Salamence's decent Speed, powerful attacks, and Intimidate made it a strong asset that was difficult to sacrifice, but I had to remove Breloom given the opportunity. It never occurred to me that I could Endure the hit and activate my Salac Berry, and then take down Breloom with Double-Edge. Needless to say, I was incredibly sloppy in the first couple turns. That's what happens in the Frontier sometimes—with tilting usually being more deadly than "oh time to revenge kill it I guess!" Regardless, I had Tentacruel ready to avenge Salamence's defeat...

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Tentacruel used Ice Beam! It's super effective! Foe Breloom lost ~35% of its health!
    Foe Breloom fainted!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Glalie!

    Commentary: The AI didn't get cute switching out as it sometimes does. Noland could have gone to Glalie—which would have been bad news—but instead let Breloom take the fall. Speaking of Glalie...

    GLALIE (3), hardy, shell bell, 301,238,196,238,196,238, blizzard, earthquake, double-edge, shadow ball

    This is not a favorable match-up for Tentacruel due to Earthquake. That's the thing about the Frontier really: with so few Pokemon, luck-of-the-draw matchups determine a lot, and with Electabuzz also weak to Earthquake and, in my mind, a superior late-game win condition, I knew I had to attack it and let Tentacruel eat an Earthquake or two.

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Tentacruel used Surf! Foe Glalie lost ~50% of its health!
    Foe Glalie used Earthquake! It's super effective! Tentacruel lost 71% of its health!
    Foe Glalie's Shell Bell restored its HP a little! (~6% of its health)

    Commentary: For a second, I was excited about getting into 2HKO range, only for Shell Bell to rain on my parade. However, I didn't really have any other option but to attack, hoping for a crit. If that failed, I knew Electabuzz could revenge kill with Fire Punch.

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Tentacruel used Surf! Foe Glalie lost ~50% of its health!
    Tentacruel's Shell Bell restored its HP a little! (6% of its health)
    Foe Glalie used Double-Edge! Tentacruel lost 35% of its health!
    Foe Glalie is hit with recoil! (~6%)
    Foe Glalie fainted!
    Tentacruel fainted!

    Commentary: No crit for me, but remember when I said that the AI can make dumb moves? Yeah, it decided to make Glalie needlessly sacrifice itself as it finished off Tentacruel. That being said, with Electabuzz waiting in the wings, it hardly mattered.

    Now, it was down to a one-on-one fight. Electabuzz thrives against Pokemon that it can either OHKO (think frail Water-types, Flying-types, and Gyarados) or Pokemon who can't shatter Electabuzz's bad defenses before their own deaths. I struggled to come up with examples for the latter category. In any case, I crossed my fingers, held my breath, and took a plunge...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Go! Electabuzz!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Exploud!

    Commentary: Exploud. Interesting. Here's its data:

    EXPLOUD (3), modest, white herb, 349,196,162,309,162,235, overheat, ice beam, thunderpunch, extrasensory

    Ironically, I actually used this very Exploud the only other time I've ever battled Noland. In that fight, it got the final kill on Noland's Crobat. Overheat worried me a lot, and I knew any of the moves nabbing a critical hit would do me in. This gave me two choices:

    1.) Try to OHKO with Cross Chop and pray it has the power to OHKO and also doesn't miss.
    2.) Try to 2HKO with Thunderbolt and pray that none of its moves crit or Ice Beam freezes.

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Electabuzz used Thunderbolt! Foe Exploud lost ~53% of its health!
    Foe Exploud used Ice Beam! Electabuzz lost 49% of its health!

    Commentary: No freeze! No crit! No Thunderbolt animation glitch! (Yes, that's a real thing.)

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Electabuzz used Thunderbolt! Foe Exploud lost ~47% of its health!
    Foe Exploud fainted!

    Commentary: And that's all she wrote! With just about half of its health, Electabuzz carried me to victory. What are the odds?

    Player defeated Factory Head Noland!

    "Good job! You know what you're doing!"

    The Eye of the Storm
    _____________________________________________


    Noland chuckled, with a knowing grin plastered on his face. My victory couldn't have surprised him; after all, Brightpowder, King's Rock, Scope Lens, and "faith in humanity-killer" Quick Claw were nowhere to be seen on his team.

    "Smart going! Let's see your Frontier Pass." Just like that, I had my Silver Symbol!

    "Heh... You're a pretty bright spark... Next time, I'll come after you hard. No holds barred, understand? You keep up your studies!" I don't understand why the Brains feel the need to "restrain" themselves in the Silver match. Why not show me who's the boss right away and avoid wasting anyone's time? In any case, I enjoyed my victory and prepared to make my run at Gold.

    Revenge
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    ...Which was not nearly as easy as my run to Silver. I accumulated two hundred battle points in failed streaks, before getting up to 28 straight wins on open level and 35 straight wins on [censored]. Sadly, my open level streak fell apart when my invincible SubCMRest mono-attacker Raikou got haxed by (of all things) Earthquake Quick Claw Latios.

    I. HATE. QUICK. CLAW.

    So my hopes were on level 50, where I somehow breezed through battles 36-40 with a new crew featuring Gengar, Metagross, and Swampert. And then came Battle 41. Starmie. THIS Starmie:

    STARMIE (3), modest, lum, 261,167,206,328,206,329, surf, psychic, thunderbolt, ice beam

    How am I beating that? Well...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    With a QUICK CLAW, that's how:

    GENGAR (3), modest, QC, 261,149,156,394,186,319, psychic, thunderbolt, giga drain, skill swap

    Why does something that outspeeds at least 90% of the Frontier have a Quick Claw? Great question! I have no earthly idea! But, fittingly, Gengar's Quick Claw activated, allowing it to one-shot Starmie before it could do the same with Psychic. Winning with Quick Claw was pretty much my Scut Farkus moment. With less profanity, mind you.

    I easily took out the last two Pokemon, jacked the guy's Starmie, and prepared for a rematch.

    The Return of the King
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    "Hey, hey! Get a move on!" he barked, picking up where he left off. He's lucky I didn't rip my Silver Symbol off my trainer card and shove it down his throat.

    "Hey, hey! How's it going? You keeping up with your studies? ...Oh? You've taken on a harder look than the last time I saw you. Now, this should be fun! I'm getting excited, hey! All right! Bring it on!"

    That's better. Bring it on, indeed.

    My Team, Redux
    _____________________________________________


    *pokemonelite2000 image removed**pokemonelite2000 image removed*"image removed"

    GENGAR (3), modest, QC, 261,149,156,394,186,319, psychic, thunderbolt, giga drain, skill swap
    METAGROSS (3), adamant, chesto, 343,382,296,203,216,218, meteor mash, earthquake, double team, rest
    STARMIE (3), modest, lum, 261,167,206,328,206,329, surf, psychic, thunderbolt, ice beam

    Rematch!
    _____________________________________________


    Factory Head Noland would like to battle!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Swampert!
    Go! Gengar!

    Commentary: Wow. Screw you, Noland. He somehow got ahold of the Swampert I used in Battle 41 moments before Battle 42. Quick Claw isn't the only way these people cheat, apparently.

    In any case, I know this Swampert to be:

    SWAMPERT (3), brave, shell bell, 341,350,216,269,216,140, surf, ice beam, earthquake, counter

    Luckily, Gengar has the tools to dismember this thing. And unlike during the Silver match, no choking will be involved during this early game.

    *pokemonelite2000 image removed* VS. *pokemonelite2000 image removed*

    Gengar used Psychic! Foe Swampert lost ~45% of its health!
    Foe Swampert used Surf! Gengar lost 74% of its health!
    Foe Swampert's Shell Bell restored its HP a little! (~7%)

    Commentary: No, this wasn't a choke! I wasn't sure Giga Drain would KO even though it probably would have, so I decided to Psychic it to avoid activating Torrent and then going for a KO. Granted, a Surf (or Psychic!) crit would have been bad news, but I figured this would work fine. That being said, should I have run the calc? Um, yes. Yes I should have.

    *pokemonelite2000 image removed* VS. *pokemonelite2000 image removed*

    Gengar used Giga Drain! Foe Swampert lost ~62% of its health!
    Foe Swampert had its energy drained! (~45% of Gengar's health restored)
    Foe Swampert fainted!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Medicham!

    Commentary: Easy KO nets Gengar the game's first kill. Medicham's entry is more troubling. I know its set to be:

    MEDICHAM (3), hardy, scope lens, 261,156,186,219,186,259, dynamicpunch, thunderpunch, ice punch, fire punch

    Oh wait, that's not troubling at all! That set is horrific! Wonderful! My luck would dictate an Ice Punch freeze, but this is actually a really favorable match-up for Gengar. Time to let him rain Thunderbolts.

    *pokemonelite2000 image removed* VS. "image removed"

    Gengar used Thunderbolt! A critical hit! Foe Medicham lost 100% of its health!
    Foe Medicham fainted!
    Factory Head Noland sent out Clefable!

    Commentary: Haha, hahaha... It's kind of weird getting a ton of luck to close out any run in the Battle Frontier. Even if the crit was probably needless, it felt like poetic justice even in the moment, like Paul Pierce's back-rim free throw to clinch the 2008 eastern semis. Also, now up 3-1 in the battle with Gengar in good health, I just began to get the feeling that I outclassed my helpless opponent. I wasn't quite worry-free yet, but man did that kill feel good.

    *pokemonelite2000 image removed* VS. "image removed"

    Gengar used Thunderbolt! Foe Clefable lost ~42% of its health!
    Foe Clefable used Ice Beam! Gengar lost 48% of its health!

    Commentary: As for Clefable, I knew its set was hardly threatening:

    CLEFABLE (3), modest, lum, 331,158,245,295,216,156, thunderbolt, ice beam, flamethrower, magical leaf

    Slower than all three of my Pokemon and with no way to recover health or hax me barring several parahaxes or Ice Beam freezes, I just started attacking it as I clinched victory.

    *pokemonelite2000 image removed* VS. "image removed"

    Gengar used Thunderbolt! Foe Clefable lost ~43% of its health!
    Foe Clefable used Flamethrower! Gengar lost 23% of its health!
    Gengar fainted!

    Commentary: What a trooper Gengar was. Its death was kind of like Kawhi Leonard fouling out of the NBA Finals-clinching game five, a mere footnote in my glorious ascent to Gold.

    "image removed" VS. "image removed"

    Go for it, Starmie!
    Starmie used Surf! Foe Clefable lost ~15% of its health!
    Foe Clefable fainted!

    Commentary. Ha.

    The Silver battle had all the tension. This was just gravy. Sweet, delicious gravy.

    Player defeated Factory Head Noland!

    "What happened here?"

    Aftermath
    _____________________________________________


    "What the... You're getting out of my league! Sheesh! Let's see that Frontier Pass!" Just like that, it was official. I finally got Gold!

    "Pfft, man! That's absolutely the last time I lose to you! We have to do this again, hey!" Yeah, don't bet on it. You could lose up to 15 battle points! (That's a joke for me and the seven people who still remember Emerald. :P)

    With victory at last, I moved on to my next triumph. Within 24 hours, I snagged Silver AND Gold from the Battle Dome and eventually added symbols from the Pike (Silver and Gold), and the Palace (Silver), the Tower (Silver). In case you needed further proof that the Battle Factory is hell on earth designed only for masochists, I haven't lost in all of the aforementioned facilities since getting my Factory Gold. It just goes to show how much QUICK CLAW IS THE WORST I HATE YOU and all the other lessons I hope this has taught you.

    The biggest one of all being: don't ever complain about hax in a Showdown battle again because you don't have to start from 1000 on the ladder every time you lose, kthx :)

    (But really I'm so relieved this is done with, excuse me while I take a hot bath.)
     
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    Very enjoyable log, congrats on your symbols *pokemonelite2000 image removed*
     
    Oh, this is what you were talking about the other day. I too have accumulated hundreds of BP thanks to Factory malfunctions, although in my Soulsilver and I just gave up. I enjoyed especially the Electabuzz part. {XD}
     
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