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The Simpsons funny sayings

hmm... i have a few
Marge: well Homer maybe you can some constaltion in the fact that something you made is making people happy
Homer: *in a high pitched voice* Oh! look at me im making people happy, im the magical man, from happy land in a gumdrop house on lollypop lane! *slams door*.............
*door opens* Oh by the way i was being sarcstic *slams door again*
Marge: well duh

Molder: This is a simple lie dector, i'll ask you a few simple yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully, do you understand?
Homer: Yes! *kaboom*
 
Homer: (in bath) (thinking) pick up bart, pick up bart!
Homer: pick a bar? what the hell's that?
(dreams about bart like he's a skeleton)
Homer: BART!!!
(runs outside with no clothes on)
Ned Flanders: err, Homer, i can see your doodle.
Homer: shut up, Flanders.
 
Martin: Thank goodness, he drew attention away from my shirt! *shirt reads "Wang Computers"*

Marge: I know what the other eleven forks are for but I don't know about this one.
Homer: Why Marge I believe you scratch your a ss with it.
 
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Brother's little helper:

Skinner: [gasps] Good Lord! He's going to fire!
Jimbo: All right! Scud the school, dude!
Krabappel: [flatly] No. Stop. Think of the children.
[the turret points toward the church]
Lovejoy: Not the church! Jesus lives there!
[Bart switches aim toward a frame shop]
Homer: The frame store! You monster!
[now the gun points toward the sky]
Sideshow Mel: Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!
 
Lisa-A Vampire!
Homer-Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves, gremlins and eskimoes.

Marge-You sign my name loads of times.
Homer-Yes, but this isn't like a loan application or a will!
 
Homer: Shut it for a moment will you! I can't hear myself think!
*noise stops*
Homer (To self): I want some peanuts
Homer (Out loud): Thats Better
And
Homer: Bart, why aren't you playing your guitar?
Bart: I couldn't play it well so I quit. You're mad at me aren't you.
Homer: Bart, come here. I'm not mad at you. If something's to hard then its not worth doing. Now put that guitar in the closet along with your wave raidio, Karate Kit and your unicycle and lets go and watch some TV.

(P.S Homer is now a (anti) philosipher!)
 
Homer, upon waking up from a coma:
"Doctor, I was in a magical place with fire and brimstone, and little guys with red pajamas sticking pitchforks in my butt!"
 
Homer: George Harrison?
George: thats me.
Homer: ooh ooh! where did you get that brownie?
George: they're right over there.
Homer: ooh ooh! (eats a lot of brownies)
 
this is from the game Road Rage... when you pick rauf up..

Homer: Get in... i have candy.
Rauf: Can you take me home please leprecauns tell me to burm things.
homer: Whatever.

*drops rauf off*
Homer: Wooohoo USA USA!


NExt one

Grandpa drops someone off

Grandpa: So long... O now i'm alone again... O well
 
Pranksta Rap:

Lisa: Dad! Why did you do that?
Homer: Hollywood has gave me a fortune which i already lost the right to bart's story so i to destroy anything that the story is not true
[homer remove and throw his t-shirt to the fire]
Lisa: Dad Why did you burn up your shirt?
Homer: What shirt? i don't see any shirt
[Homer remove and throw his pants to the fire]
Homer: Burn the truth! Burn the truth!
 
Lisa: (In the spelling bee) I-M-P...
Bart: Hey, Lisa said she was...
Nelson: Shut up, pee!
 
Milhouse: Now I'm gonna show you a trick called...uhh a invisibility cloak.
Marge: Wow Magical
Homer: Yeah Yeah Magical
[Homer was watching the football game at the TV radio]
[Milhouse wrap his body with his cloak]
Milhouse: Now you see me, now you don't
[Milhouse remove his cloak. All of the crowd gasp because Milhouse is naked, Milhouse look down]
Milhouse: This was just like my dream
 
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Milhouse: Comic Book Guy! You supposed to give a comic called Fantastic Four! not Fantastic Floor
 
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