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The Sother Region: Sludge Stains

  • 16
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Seen May 6, 2008
    The Sother Region: Sludge Stains

    Contents:

    Section 1: The Theft
    Section 2: Hitting the Trail
    Section 3: A Sludge Stain on the V
    Section 4: Struggling with Forgiveness
    Section 5: Friendship

    Section 1: The Theft
    Chapter 1


    "Hit him with your poison sting!..." "Oh man I don't think the beedrill will make it…" "Of course it will look at how determined it is!" "You are way too enthusiastic Shaylie." The small group huddled around the TV. "Why do you always think you know so much about Pokémon? You don't even own one." Tarak looked doubtful as he said this. Shaylie was infallible "I never said I know so much about Pokémon I don't know anything about them really I can just feel it… " Tarak smiled crossing his arms in Triumph "You have to admit that psychic Pokémon are the strongest of all!" Laughter was heard in the background. Everyone turned towards the ever smug Rayn as he said "If that's true then why did the trainer with the Alakazam, and the Mr. Mime lose in the third round to a Psyduck?" Tarak's face contorted in an expression that was a mix of humiliation and frustration at this inconvenient fact. "Oh man this is so awesome look the beedrill just used its fury attack! It must be on POWERTHIRST!" Awdren stood up as he said this flexing his nonexistent muscles. "Maybe it had some Shokolate!?" Saen exclaimed loudly. "Na that was the Pikachu that was fighting in one of the round 4 matches" Tarak said laughing. He had completely forgotten the comments that were thrown around earlier. "I felt sorry for the Pikachu It didn't know what it was up against when it went up against that Bellsprout."

    The Beedrill in the battle was in the 5th round competition and it was up against a Magmar. Only Shaylie had any hope that it would win. Most of them knew that bug Pokémon are weak against fire Pokémon. It also helped that the Magmar looked really tough and cool. "Look it's using its fire blast!" Tarak said as the Magmar shot forth its horrendous fire attack at the speedy Beedrill. It struggled to evade the attack and the camera briefly zoomed in on the Beedrill's trainer which looked very worried for its safety. A command was yelled and the Beedrill began to move faster and faster and soon every attack seemed to miss. "YA GO BEEDRILL!" Shouted Shaylie as she started to get more and more excited. "No way" Exclaimed Tarak as the rest stared in shocked awe. The Magmar was heavily confused and was running out of steam when all of a sudden a flash came in front of it. It jumped back to put up its defense all too late. As the Beedrill's twin stingers dug in and pulled out the Magmar appeared to struggle to stand and then it just fell over exhausted and sickened.

    "Alright!!! Pay up Tarak" exclaimed Rayn as Tarak grudgingly pulled out his wallet and handed over $ 20.00. "You guys are terrible… Betting on Pokémon matches. That's… disgusting…". Shaylie was not impressed. "Why? We're not hurting anyone just Tarak's wallet" Rayn attempted once again to be logical but failed to see the point. "Pokémon shouldn't be used to make money in such a way it just doesn't feel right" . Shaylie poured her heart out. Awdren spoke up "I do agree with you but it's not like they're slaves this is more like betting for sports. I think it's ok as long as no one gets hurt. I mean most of those Pokémon are there of their choosing anyway." There was a unanimous consensus and they decided that it was time to go home and go to bed. After all it was all in the back of their minds to get up early tomorrow for they all attained their Pokémon licenses tomorrow. In the Sother Region unlike most other places the kids aren't allowed to gain Pokémon licenses until they are 14 the world is a tough place and going out on your own with or without Pokémon is dangerous.

    Chapter 2


    The Sother region is a large continent far to the southeast of the Johto and Kanto regions. Not many people in this region experience anything involving snow or cold weather. The winters are hot and the summers are even hotter. Many rock and fire Pokémon that are uncommon in other regions are a commonplace in the vast plains and deserts that make up the Sother Region.

    The aspiring trainers that this story centers around live in a town called Wipeg. This town is in the far eastern part of the continent where strange natural occurrences cause heavy rainfall, and springs to pop up all over the mountain sides that surround the town. This has created a dense and tough if not beautiful mountain jungle. The town does not have a Pokémon centre but instead has a scientific lab that contains the required equipment to heal Pokémon for trainers in need. The lab is run by a professor who moved here long ago for the peace and quiet and to live out the rest of his days in semi-retirement. The only time he works is to get new trainers from the town their first Pokémon and to research in whatever babble interests him at the time.

    "This Pokémon has quite the muscle density." Professor Phil said as he poked at a young Machops biceps and calf muscles. "It be too bad triple P has gotta let you go little man" the professor looked slightly disappointed. He knew this Pokémon would be an invaluable friend to whoever chooses it and that thought made him feel better. There was smash in the background as Phil swung around to see an Abra lifting his tools with its psychic powers. "Hey! We don't be having none of that in MY HOUSE! Your ass must be crazy you could be hurt!" Hearing this Abra let down the tools on the ground mostly because it couldn't remember where the tools were supposed to go. Phil let out a sigh and returned Abra to its pokéball. He then continued his physical analysis of Machop.

    "Do you see him?" "Of Course he's busy examining a Pokémon." "Ha ha this should be easy." "Maybe but we still have to stay alert if we get caught he will have strong Pokémon to use to defend his lab. Let's keep this as quiet as possible." The 3 people in white began prying off the window of the sunroof. Attaching their grappling cables to the roof they swung down into the storage area. Pokéball shelves were abundant in this room but only a few shelves contained pokéball." This is retarded isn't this professor supposed to have a humongous stash of Pokémon?" The man said in annoyance. "Not all of these Pokémon are owned by him you dimwit. He holds Pokémon for trainers that live in this town." The red R emblazoned on the leaders uniform shined as opposed to the black ones on the other 2. It was the marking of a leader, leading his cronies. "Well what are you too waiting for? Start taking them!" The leader barked impatiently. "Yes sir!" they whispered as they began collecting.

    "Alright Machop get in the ball gangsta" the Machop stirred nervously as it returned anxiously awaiting tomorrow for it meets its new trainer. A creak was heard in the distance and the professor perked up turning toward the sound. "I better not catch no thieves in my house they won't know what hit em when triple P comes rollin through" he was confident that he could take on anything.

    Chapter 3


    "Did you hear that? It seems the professor heard us." The leader quickly formulated a plan and released his Meditite. "Meditite wait for that professor to come when he shows up throw that shelf at him with you psychic power that should knock him out and give us time to escape." True to his prediction the professor came through the door and with not a hint of shock said one thing. "Team Rocket… Why am I not surprised?" The professor began taking off his lab coat revealing his football uniform which he preferred to wear while battling. His black skin contrasted heavily with his lab coat but now he sported red and black. He pulled out a pokéball. "I'm glad you recognize us… NOW!" The leader pointed and the shelf was thrown from the wall hitting the professor square in the chest. With oomph and a crash he went flying into a trolley carrying various equipment. He didn't get up. "Excellent… Return Meditite!" With the press of a button and a flash the Pokémon flew back into its pokéball. "These Pokémon shall serve us well in the fight against team Galactica!" Said the crony. "Yes they certainly will Shane!" The leader looked smugly at the unconscious professor. "Shall I put the Pokémon in the truck Boss?" The Rocket women inquired. "Yes go right ahead Jenn. I will find the rest."

    One by one they filtered out of the lab. Each one carrying a sack filled with pokéball. They weren't completely filled but they were substantial. They threw the sacks into the back of the truck and sped off into the night. The only thing left in their wake was the destroyed lab and the tracks of their truck in the dirt. The professor awoke holding one thing. The pokéball with the Machop and his own Pokémon still strapped to his waist. He found nothing in his lab even some of his equipment was stolen. He cursed under his breath angrily and filled with sadness. Those Pokémon had a grim future ahead of them and now he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He called the police and began to salvage what was left of his lab.

    "Kadabra, Luxio go!" The professor threw 2 pokéball into the lab. Kadabra I need you to help put together this lab back to the way it was after the police are finished. Luxio I need you to use your charge ability to turn that computer back on. I just hope all my data isn't lost too. The Pokémon set to work as the police arrived through the front door. Officer Jenny gasped at the carnage. "Team Rocket really did a number on this place…" "I feel more depressed for the children coming tomorrow. All of the Pokémon they are supposed to get to start their journeys are gone. All that's left are the blank pokédexs." I sad silence befell all. Then they set to work cleaning up the mess and taking whatever evidence they could find.

    Shaylie awakened with a start from a nightmare. She dreamed that an angry hurt Pokémon began attacking her and she could do nothing because she didn't want to hurt it. She was wondering if it was possible for a Pokémon to seek that sort of random violence but dismissed it. Looking at the clock it was 6 in the morning 3 hours before she was supposed to wake up. "Sigh… Well looks like there's no point going back to sleep now." She got up and began exercising and preparing to go out on her journey. Her parents were surprised they expected to help her pack and send her on her way but she was already prepared and ready to go. This saddened them and gave them heart because she no longer really needed them for this sort of thing. It's too bad none of her friends were as well prepared as she is.

     
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    What exactly is this? Three chapters cramped into one post? You really need to do something about this. There is an extreme lack of detail and you need to post chapters in something other than a large blcok of text. Show some separation here and add some length. I'm actually not even sure if this meets the PFF requirements.
     
    I'm posting it in sections.

    This is just the intro to the story

    the chapter signifies a new development or a change in location

    I would use seperation but forums don't allow me to use tabs to signify a new paragraph

    Edit: How does it look now?
     
    Last edited:
    a bit better. i read this earlier but now you just need to fix the dialouge.

    it should go like this...

    "hello," bob said.

    "oh hey," said Henry

    Bob thought about his response, "Hello again!"

    like that (except for the comma use which im sure is wrong
     
    Um.. all of your chapters were good! But a simpler way to do it, is to just post ONE chapter at a time - so it's not to crowded and people don't forget what the previous chapter was about! But other then that, pretty good! :)
     
    a bit better. i read this earlier but now you just need to fix the dialouge.

    it should go like this...

    "hello," bob said.

    "oh hey," said Henry

    Bob thought about his response, "Hello again!"

    like that (except for the comma use which im sure is wrong

    Well i know it might be kind of confusing but thats the way i intended the story to be. I'm introducing things as they become relevant. You don't actually know who's talking until the characters are introduced. Later on when your introduced to their names and learn more about them I explain who's talking when it's relevant.

    It's kinda like at the beginning of tv shows where the camera is like zooming in on a house or gathering and you can hear chatter but you don't know whos saying it and it entices you to listen onwards. then when it finally centers on the group you can clearly see whos talking and what they are talking about.
     
    Well i know it might be kind of confusing but thats the way i intended the story to be. I'm introducing things as they become relevant. You don't actually know who's talking until the characters are introduced. Later on when your introduced to their names and learn more about them I explain who's talking when it's relevant.
    It's proper grammar to separate your paragraphs like that. You can't just shuck off a rule of grammar that's that important for a reason like that. You still need to hit the Enter button twice between paragraphs to make it easier to read. Otherwise, this fic is way too short, as well as grammatically incorrect.

    You don't have to shuck grammar for the reason you gave. You want to create an air of mystery to the dialogue? Fine. Then just don't mention who said what. But it still needs to be separated. It's basic grammar.
     
    It's proper grammar to separate your paragraphs like that. You can't just shuck off a rule of grammar that's that important for a reason like that. You still need to hit the Enter button twice between paragraphs to make it easier to read. Otherwise, this fic is way too short, as well as grammatically incorrect.

    You don't have to shuck grammar for the reason you gave. You want to create an air of mystery to the dialogue? Fine. Then just don't mention who said what. But it still needs to be separated. It's basic grammar.

    Oh I get what you guys are trying to say. I totally didn't understand what was going on. You guys don't realize that there are spaces inbetween all sentences. The only thing i didn't do was double space between paragraphs. I don't see that all that often in many of the novels i read so i didn't think it was important. I figured tabs were more important.

    The problem i'm having is that the forum is interpreting the font of microsoft word wrong all of the quoted sentences have spaces between them but you can't see them because of the way the font was copied. It looks a lot different in word than it does on the forum. I'll try switching fonts to default on the forum and see if it helps.
     
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