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@Nakuzami I believe I've fixed what you pointed out. (Completely forgot about the tournament XD) Care to review again? I think I like this ending more anyways.
It's perfectly fine. It's been brought to my attention that I wasn't entirely clear about such details to begin with anyways, so it's partially my fault.
While some others finish up their SUs, I'll get working on the IC thread. c:
hi! ... because so many SU's have already been submitted/accepted, i was wondering if you're still accepting more? i'm not an experienced roleplayer, but i figured i would try.
if you do still accept players, i'd love to reserve Scizor, if that's okay ( ´ ▽ ` )ゞ
I'll finish my SU before the weekend, sorry 'bout that. Wasn't sure if this had been forgotten about and all, so didn't know if I should continue the WIP 8P Now that this is active again, I'll get to that.
Also, I think you missed my question earlier, so I'll just copypaste it here:
Also, quick question about the moves; do they work strictly the way they do in games, or is there room for creativity when used in battle, like in the anime/manga? For example, when I was looking at Alakazam's moves, he had things like Teleport, Telekinesis and Gravity, which are fairly useless in-game, but which sound like they could allow for neat tactics in more anime-esque battles. Just wanna check before I make my choices and all.
hi! ... because so many SU's have already been submitted/accepted, i was wondering if you're still accepting more? i'm not an experienced roleplayer, but i figured i would try.
if you do still accept players, i'd love to reserve Scizor, if that's okay ( ´ ▽ ` )ゞ
I'll finish my SU before the weekend, sorry 'bout that. Wasn't sure if this had been forgotten about and all, so didn't know if I should continue the WIP 8P Now that this is active again, I'll get to that.
Also, I think you missed my question earlier, so I'll just copypaste it here:
Haha, I was just letting SUs come in while I was off for the holidays. Now school's back, which . . . kind of sucks, but it does mean I'm on the computer more! d:
And yes, I totally missed your question earlier, lol. Moves are certainly more free-form than in the games. The battles will be more anime styled, so you could have a Pokémon teleporting around the field to avoid moves and being a bit of a nuisance, or even combine some moves in the fashion of contests. There's also no PP or anything like that; Pokémon will just tire out like any normal creature, so if you're constantly using a move like Thunder, your Pokémon will eventually be drained from it, rather than having a set amount of uses. Maybe later I'll make a little "strategy guide" or something, if you guys think that might be useful.
Heh, that's what I figured, but couldn't be sure. And I know what you mean with school - it's weird how I'm always the busiest when school's actually out.
As for the moves, thanks, good to know. That's mostly how things have been in the rps I've been in, but I've ran into a few that followed very game-like mechanics too, so I figured I'd check. Not sure if the strategy guide would be necessary though, sounds like it'd be a lot of work for little pay.
Name: Dahlia Angstrom Gender: Female Birth Date: October 2nd, 1997; 20 years of age Hometown: Camphrier Town, Kalos
Appearance |
Spoiler:
With her long, wavy brown hair and matching chocolate eyes, Dahlia is 'pleasing to the eye', as her father would jokingly describe her. She is a bit above average in height, and has a slender posture. Her skin is very light in colour, due to a lack of sun, but perhaps because of this also entirely free of blemishes.
As for her looks; Dahlia very much enjoys shopping for clothing and the like, but because of lack of time as well as money, she doesn't go very often. The clothes she does have usually carry the warm colours of autumn, as that is her favourite season. Particularly her red, loose vest and grey skirt combination is a favourite, usually finished with a white T-shirt underneath. On her feet, she likes to wear brown ankle-boots with thin laces and grey or black socks.
History |
Dahlia grew up in Camphrier Town, in a somewhat small but cozy house in the town's center. Her parents were not rich, but earned enough to lead a comfortable life; her father, George, was a relatively succesful painter, and his wife Margaret worked as a teacher at Santalune's Trainer School. The last member of the household was Dahlia's older brother, Isaac. They had a happy childhood, enjoying long days of playing outside with the family's Furfrou.
Dahlia's young life was rather uneventful, but in a good way. She generally did well in school, and developed a particular interest in history and art. She also picked up violin lessons, initially because of her mother's urges. But as her skill increased, so did her joy, and eventually she became an avid player.
Near her 10th birthday, not Dahlia but her brother was getting ready to leave on his first Pokémon journey. He decided to travel through Kanto, a faraway region, because he thought he already knew too much of Kalos for it to be the enlightening journey of self-discovery he desired. For the longest time he stayed away, only keeping in contact with family through letters in which he would tell the most amazing stories which Dahlia adored. Isaac was proudest of a Pokémon he had befriended after much work: a Scyther. He had named it Scar, after the scar it carried on its right shoulder, sustained when the Pokémon had tried to challenge its swarm's elder leader and lost. The two travelled on together.
But then one day, destiny struck. An acquaintance of the family arrived at Dahlia's house to tell them her brother had been hospitalized in Lumiose City. They rushed to see him, but when they did, he was broken. Isaac had sustained terrible injury to his lower back, and damaged his spinal cord. The depth of the cut made it unlikely to ever heal, meaning his legs would be permanently paralyzed. It turned out Scar's arm blades were the cause, and as a result he had not come out of his Pokéball after being put inside after it happened. Isaac, too, could barely look at the Ball. Their bond of trust had been broken by a freak accident.
During the coming weeks, Scar was left with the Pokémon Day Care just outside of town as it continued to refuse to come out of its Pokéball in front of Isaac. It likely felt responsible, forced itself to stay inside as atonement for his deed, and wanted to stay away from him to avoid causing any further harm. Dahlia was worried for it to become lonely all by itself, so she would visit nearly every day to see how it was doing. Even the Day Care Couple had trouble getting the Pokémon to leave its ball. Because they were busy with many other Pokémon as well, Dahlia offered to help and work with Scar separately. Only when she pleaded for it to come out and eat something, he would appear and timidly ate whatever food she put in front of him. The Scyther slowly but surely developed a relationship with Dahlia instead, and became less and less shy towards her. Soon enough, the Day Care Couple noticed the Pokémon had started to look forward to Dahlia's visits.
Scar and Isaac did not meet once in this period of time. Even when he was released from the hospital, his relationship with Scar had not healed. In fact, it had deteriorated to the point that the now wheelchair-bound Isaac saw no other solution than Scar's release. Dahlia, who had gotten attached to Scar, refused to let this happen, and implored her brother to trade her the Scyther instead. The only problem was she didn't have any Pokémon of her own. Luckily, the Pokémon Day Care that Dahlia had helped at provided a solution: Dahlia could receive one of the newly hatched Goomy for the trade. And so it happened. Unbeknownst to Dahlia, Isaac had given Scar a Metal Coat to hold - in protection for his sister, knowing it would evolve Scar, so he would no longer have the claw-arms that harmed himself.
Dahlia was incredibly surprised when she let the Scizor out of its ball, and because of his massive change decided to rename him Czar; strongly reminiscent of its previous name, but with a fresh and regal sound to it.
Dahlia and Czar kept training together and became the best of friends. When she got older, Dahlia got a job at the Camphrier Hotel as a waitress, and proceeded to study archaeology because of her interest in history and mythology. For her studies she decided to travel through the Kalos region to examine its archaeologic and architectural wonders and become more familiar with the parts of the region she had never been. That was before the whole mess with Team Flare even started, however.
Her second journey was to the Hoenn region, where she ended up catching a few more Pokémon on several locations of archaeological excavation. She found Clay as a very curious Baltoy when searching the Hoenn desert, and Marie was encountered as a shy Vulpix when interviewing the elderly couple atop Mt. Pyre. Dreq was the final addition to her team, whom she found and trained after her return to Kalos.
Pokémon Partner:
Name: Czar Gender: Male Moveset: Bullet Punch, Metal Claw, Pursuit, X-Scissor, Swords Dance, Superpower, Roost, Protect, Aerial Ace, Feint
Other Pokémon
Name: Marie Gender: Female Moveset: Flamethrower, Confuse Ray, Will O'Wisp, Protect, Solar Beam, Psyshock, Hex, Hypnosis, Dark Pulse, Overheat
Writing Sample |''For thirty years I have searched for ancient ruins!''
Spoiler:
Dahlia sighed. That was the third time he'd said that. She was starting to question if he was really the authority on ruins that her teacher claimed he was. You'd think after searching for 30 years he'd have found something by now...
Lumiose University had finally agreed to letting Dahlia go to a different region, after rewriting her thesis proposal three times over. Her supervisor had guaranteed that she would be shown around the desert by one of his old friends, who knew the area like no other. Supposedly there was a large, ancient tower to be found here, by the name of 'Mirage Tower'. Not many people had seen it, however, because it could apparently dis- and reappear randomly. Of course, a mysterious tower that could disappear was right up Dahlia's alley. That was what she had come here to investigate, and so that was where the self-proclaimed Ruin Maniac walking in front of her would be leading her. That is, until he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Dahlia almost crashed into him.
He looked around and inspected the area. Dahlia was continually wondering how he could see without Go-Goggles, but he had also mentioned his endurance and experience numerous times already, so Dahlia knew better than to ask. But then he suddenly spoke.
''Hrmmm... Nope! Not today. Today is a bad day.''
''Err, Mr. Dusty? What does that mean?''
''Mirage Tower will not appear today. I can smell it. Sorry, kid. We'll have to come back tomorrow.''
'What?! Why?!''
''There's no helping it. The tower has its whims. Nobody has managed to figure out what makes it appear yet.''
Dahlia moaned and looked around. Did they really just traverse this desert for nothing? Right then she noticed something move out of the corner of her eye. Something seemed to move below the sand. She scoured the area for whatever it could have been, but there was nothing to be seen. It was probably just her imagination. There was a sandstorm going on after all.
When she looked up, she realised her guide had already taken off again. Some guide he was. She quickly tried to follow, but a strong gust of wind combined with the thin sand made her lose her footing, and she fell over backwards. She groaned, annoyed, and scrambled to her feet - and heard something. A strange, mechanical-sounding noise, but oddly also like a cackling laugh. She swiftly looked around, determined not to let it slip away again. There it was. Something moved under the sand again.
''Ah-HA!'' she said as she jumped on top of it and tried to grab hold of whatever it was. ''Got you now...?'' Her tone of voice went up as her sentence turned into a question: there was nothing in the sand. Immediately she heard the cackling mechanical noise again, this time from the side. This time the creature exposed itself however: an amused Baltoy's head was sticking up out of the sand.
''There you are.'' Dahlia said softly as she sat back upright on her knees. She slowly stuck out a hand to the Pokémon, wanting to befriend it without scaring it off. That would be the least of her worries, however, when the Baltoy hit her hand with its arm, rapidly spinned out of the sand, and assumed a battle stance. In response, Dahlia grinned, stood up, and grabbed her sole companion's Pokéball. The battle began as soon as she threw the ball into the air and shouted: ''Czar, let's go!''
First off, your history certainly seems like it could go in some interesting directions, but I don't think that it's elaborated on enough. Firstly, there's Cedric's rival/best friend, Richard. He's only briefly mentioned, and if he's someone apparently so significant in Cedric's life, he should definitely be explained more. Secondly, what challenges did he face when traveling the Hoenn region? And when/where did he get his Delphox and Weavile? Finally, the biggest problem I have with your SU is the thief. He just kind of appears, and then the resulting battle isn't even touched upon. Then he flees, Cedric pursues, and after a year Cedric caught him and got rich. It's just kind of there, which isn't good. The idea itself is fine, but it needs more details. Also, the thief having all his pokémon in Master Balls is more than a bit much, especially when they're not even particularly uncommon pokémon. I'd also like you to write him, or at least his dialogue, a bit differently in your writing sample, because, as he is now, he doesn't really read like a believable person. You should also turn the line "And so began one of the greatest and most important battles in Cedric's life" into an actual fully detailed battle.
Keep in mind that I'm looking for detail here, not necessarily length.
Went to sleep and completely forgot about Richard. I kinda rushed the history/writing sample, I agree that it's bad.
Either I'm gonna make a completely new person or I might just lose interest...
sorry for taking so long; i've had a busy couple of days, and ended up writing Dahlia's entire history up yesterday and tonight.
... i realise that the way it is now it's not very in proportion, because Scizor's backstory basically takes up the whole thing, lol. i'll see tomorrow if i can shorten it and elaborate more on the rest of her journeys. that is, if you want me to. i figured i'd post it for now to see what your feedback would be, haha.
and i realise the Writing Sample still needs doing, no worries, i'm on that. tomorrow. ( ´ ▽ ` )ゞ
Went to sleep and completely forgot about Richard. I kinda rushed the history/writing sample, I agree that it's bad.
Either I'm gonna make a completely new person or I might just lose interest...
Well there's no reason for that. Cedric is a fine character concept; he just needs a few aspects explained in further detail. But it's up to you whether or not you choose to go down that path.
sorry for taking so long; i've had a busy couple of days, and ended up writing Dahlia's entire history up yesterday and tonight.
... i realise that the way it is now it's not very in proportion, because Scizor's backstory basically takes up the whole thing, lol. i'll see tomorrow if i can shorten it and elaborate more on the rest of her journeys. that is, if you want me to. i figured i'd post it for now to see what your feedback would be, haha.
and i realise the Writing Sample still needs doing, no worries, i'm on that. tomorrow. ( ´ ▽ ` )ゞ
It's quite good! Dahlia's an interesting character. :3 Just get that Writing Sample done and you'll be good to go!
@Everyone I'm slowly working on the IC Thread right now. It's coming along, and once I type up a proper introductory post it should be good to go. Over the weekend I also had an idea of introducing a Side Quests section, which characters can complete during their spare time, and will hopefully provide you with something to write if you're ever ahead of the game or just feel like doing something extra. c: I'm still coming up with possible side quests and whatnot, so that section will probably come along a little after the IC Thread itself.