[Pokémon] The Surprising Adventures of a Glaceon in Unova (T)

[apenpaap]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Thirteen: Deceit in Nacrene City[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas was warm, itchy, and annoyed. All three of those conditions had the same cause: summer had arrived with its asphyxiating heat. For day on end the Sun was all alone in the sky, not a single cloud in view, and it seemed to have decided to use all that space it had for itself to perform some incredible acrobatics: very early each morning it would rise in the north-east, climb higher and higher, seemingly attempting to reach the zenith, and only barely failing. Then it would just hang around near the zenith for several hours, shining almost straight down on the world, before finally and very slowly sinking to the north-west, where it would set very late in the evening. About an hour after the last light in the sky had disappeared, it reappeared again as the Sun was preparing to do the whole trick over again. [/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas' fur seemed to have decided to abandon ship after a few days of the stifling heat, as he was heavily shedding, making him very, very itchy, and every time he scratched large masses of hair would loosen. Yet there always seemed to be enough left to make him feel miserably warm, and this made Boreas very annoyed. He only had conscious memories of two seasons (he had been born in winter, of course, but by the time he was old enough to go outside it was well into spring), but he had a growing suspicion that this would be his least favourite of all four. What made him even more annoyed was the frustratingly chirpy behaviour of Octa and Toxica, their chloroplasts bringing them enormous amounts of energy every day. Lucius seemed to be enjoying the stifling heat too, as Boreas could've sworn he had come close to cracking a smile at several points.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And now it seemed they were about to reach Nacrene City, where he would probably be even warmer, itchier, and more annoyed. He didn't know if he would be able to stand another boring grey city filled with boring grey humans. But as they approached, Boreas realised this city was rather unlike Striaton. He heard faint sounds of music, talking, and laughter. And the city seemed to be made of low buildings entirely, missing the tall grey flats that Striaton was filled with.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As they entered the city, an incredible mix of colours assaulted their eyes: every house was painted in bizarre colours, from red to blue, and everyone was wearing differently coloured clothes. Many people had even dyes their hair in all kinds of bizarre colours. Pokémon walked freely among the humans and it seemed there was some kind of market going on, as many humans were performing music in the streets, or dancing, or selling drawings and paintings. Some were painting or drawing, or even sculpturing on the spot, and everyone seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. The contrast with Striaton couldn't possible have been greater. Though some of the musicians and other artists were pretty bad, and the insane mix of colours looked quite overdone and ugly, Boreas liked Nacrene infinitely much more than Striaton.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black and his pokémon were just sort of staring at the jolly chaos around them, bedazzled by the endless display of colour, when a blue-haired human in neat black and red clothing jovially slapped Black on the shoulder.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey there, new in town?" he asked. He had a truly bizarre hairstyle, with two large spikes pointing up above each ear, and a long yellow scarf that almost reached the ground.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uh..." Black said somewhat startled, "Yeah, I am."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Welcome! My name's Sly, and you look like you want to know more about Nacrene."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uh..."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, you have to know that Nacrene is a city full of artists. Everyone here practises some form of art, either professionally or as a hobby. And on a sunny day like this, we all go outside to show off our art and earn a bit of money with it. Cool, huh?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black nodded, somewhat freaked out. "Uh... Yeah. It's pretty cool. What kind of art do you practise?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sly laughed a very odd little "hehehehehe"-laugh. "Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that. Many people wouldn't consider half of it a real art. Anyway, are you looking for the pokécenter?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black nodded, and Sly gave him directions and made his exit.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Weird guy." Toxica said.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah." Boreas said, "I wonder what he's up to."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I highly doubt he's "up" to something, my dear fellow." Octa said, "The gentleman quite obviously enjoyed a proper upbringing that only one with noble ancestry such as myself would have. Didn't you notice the proper bearing and the walk?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas and Toxica shrugged.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite, I remember now that neither of you would have had much chance to observe those of good ancestry, myself excepted. But let me assure you: that gentleman's upbringing and ancestry was as proper as mine."[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Toxica and Boreas just shrugged again and followed Black to the pokécenter. Just as they were passing a band of trumpeters, a little, cloaked old lady bumped into Black and nearly fell over. Black apologised and helped her to her feet, and then they continued.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They arrived at the pokécenter and entered. A crimson-haired nurse stood behind the counter.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hi," Black said, "My name is Black, and I've just arrived in this city to challenge the Gym. Do you have any rooms free?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sure." the nurse said, "My name's Torment. Can I see your trainer's card?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sure," Black said, reaching into his pocket. "Here it... Hmm, must have put it in my backpack..." He rummaged through his backpack, more and more frantic, "What the... It's gone! Everything is gone! My trainer card, my trio badge, my money! I've been robbed!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I bet it was that Sly." Boreas growled.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Total codswallop." Octa protested, "It must have been that little old lady that bumped into him. A quintessentially proper gentleman like sly would never steal something."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh dear," Nurse Torment said, "We'd better get the police then."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'Afternoon, all." a bearded policeman who had just entered the pokécenter greeted them, "I'm officer Grim of the Nacrene City Police Department. What's all this then?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Officer!" Black gratefully greeted the policeman, "I've been pickpocketed by someone. They stole my trainer's card, my money, and my badge."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Righto. Please describe the incident and the stolen items to me and give me your ID number."[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After the policeman had taken Black's police statement and left, he approached the nurse. "Nurse, I know I don't have any papers or money, but may I please sleep in the pokécenter anyway? I can sleep on the couch here in the waiting room if you don't want to give me a room."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well... It's against the rules, y'know."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, I know." Black said with a sinking feeling.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So go right ahead."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thanks. You're an angel."[/FONT]

–

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The next day, Black and his pokémon dropped by the police station to see if there was any news of his stolen stuff.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm sorry, but there's no officer named Grim in the city." the policewoman Black was talking to said.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But there is. He took my police statement yesterday, a big heavy man in a black beard, you must know him."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No such officer works in Nacrene, sir, but we have been getting reports of someone impersonating a policeman. Would you like to make a police statement?"[/FONT]

–

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That afternoon, Black and his pokémon wandered the town grumpily. Without money they couldn't even buy ice cream to cool them down on the blazing hot day, and without a trainer's card they couldn't challenge the Gym either. At one point, someone quickly sketched something on a piece of paper as Black passed her. She showed it to his pokémon while he wasn't looking, and they saw it was a caricature of him, looking incredibly grumpy. With a shushing gesture, she put it in his pocket without him realising anything, to his pokémon's great amusement, and left. [/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As they walked the city's outskirts, they suddenly saw a familiar face.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look, it's N!" Boreas said.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly Sly appeared from the crowd, jovially slapped N's shoulder, and started talking to him. From the angle they looked on this time, it was quite obvious that he was in fact pickpocketing something from N's backpack. [/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, Sly!" Black shouted as he ran at the pickpocket, "Give back what you stole from N and me!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hmm?" N looked up.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uh oh." Sly ran off. Black and his pokémon pursued him through the crowd. It seemed they were going to lose him, but then a Pidove flew over and landed in his two-spiked hair. Sly struggled to get it out of his hair, and in doing so he lost enough speed that Black could overtake and tackle him to the ground.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Surprisingly, Sly laughed. "Congrats, it's rare that someone manages to not only find me, but also catch me. Hang on, I'll give you your stuff back."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You know I'm going to hand you over to the police anyway, right?" Black asked.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sly grinned. "Of course. But I had some fun, that's what I'm doing it for in the first place."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You pickpocket people for fun?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah. You should try it sometime, it's hilarious. Did you realise I pickpocketed you thrice yesterday and a fourth time just now?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah. When I introduced you to town I stole your money and your badge from your backpack, when I bumped into you, disguised as a little old lady, I stole your trainer's card from your pocket, and I stole your watch when I was disguised as Officer Grim. Ah, I can see from your reaction you hadn't even noticed it was gone. Finally I stole a caricature of you from your pocket just now. My, you're looking grumpy on it."[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black took back each of the items as Sly gave them back. "So you do this for fun?" he said in disgust, "Don't you realise how much annoyance and problems you cause to the people you rob?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sly shrugged. "Not my problem. I'm just having fun practising my art. Besides, I don't always pickpocket. Yesterday evening I was bored with it, so I sold someone a map of a treasure buried in the Giant Chasm."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But you might even kill someone with that! The Giant Chasm is incredibly dangerous!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not my problem. I'm an artist, and I'm just practising my art. I told you most people wouldn't consider my art art."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's because it isn't!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]See, I told you."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look, how is stealing an art?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not just stealing. I consider cheating and lying part of it too. And I'm not going to explain how they are an art, it's unlikely that I'll convince you."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hmpf, you're just a sad kleptomaniac who tries to justify his actions."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't try to justify my actions, I already told you I don't care. And I'm not a kleptomaniac, but an artist."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, I'll just let the police sort you out, Sly, if that's really your name, which I doubt." He pulled Sly to his feet, "And give back my watch and trainer's card, I noticed you steal them this time."[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sly gave them back. "Not bad. And now- oh?" He squinted, surprised by something behind Black, and when Black instinctively looked for a moment, he immediately ran off, throwing a pokéball. A ferocious Krookodile appeared, and immediately made a massive tremor, knocking everyone nearby off their feet and shattering houses' windows. Then Sly got it back into its pokéball as he ran off. Black followed him the moment he got back to his feet, but Sly had disappeared around a corner. They searched for him, but couldn't find him.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Such a noble, proper gentleman." Boreas teased Octa.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa blushed slightly. "Well, quite. It seems I was mistaken there. It appears 'twas just a part of his act."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas, Octa!" N greeted them as he caught up, "How are you?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Splendid." Octa said.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Fine." Boreas lied.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hello to you too." Black said annoyed.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ignoring Black, N talked to his pokémon: "I see you have new friends."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ah yes, allow me to introduce you," Octa said, "N, these are Lucius and Toxica."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]H-hi." Toxica shyly waved using her leaves, "Can you really talk to pokémon?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No," Lucius sneered, "he just happens to respond exactly to what we're saying, idiot."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey!" Octa berated him, "Now that is no way to treat a lady. Nor, in fact, is it any way a civilised man would treat a gentleman. To treat another-"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius rolled his eyes. "Just shut up, you dandy."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Dandy?!" Octa seethed, "How dare you, sir! I shan't shut up. You, sir, are a barbarian!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa," Boreas said, putting a calming paw on his shoulder, "Calm down."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Lucius sneered, "Listen to your boyfriend, Octa. Calm down." he imitated Boreas' tone.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He is not my boyfriend." Octa spoke icily, "We are friends, a concept you are likely unable to comprehend."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Whatever." Lucius said, "Keep telling yerselves that. I'm gonna go stand over there now."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What's his problem?" Toxica wondered.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas shrugged.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A general lack of manners, intelligence, and civilisation, 'twould seem." Octa seethed.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]N was about to say something, when Black interrupted. "So, N, what do you want?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]N seemed genuinely puzzled by the question. "What do I want?" he thought about it, "I... want to see things no one can see. The truths of pokémon inside pokéballs. The ideals of how trainers should be. And a future where Pokémon have become perfect.... Do you feel the same?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black, in his turn, was now puzzled. "What? Uh... I guess, yeah."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Is that so? I think my friends and I should test you to see if you can see this future, too. Claudia?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Pidove that had stopped Sly from fleeing earlier came flying down from a rooftop and landed before N.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A battle, eh?" Black said, "Lucius, fight that Pidove! Bite!"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius jumped at the Pidove, but she was faster than him and repelled him by flapping her wings and making a Gust. After he was knocked about by the Gust, Lucius once again jumped Claudia, who couldn't stop him this time. Lucius bit her, drawing blood and leaving nasty bitemarks.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sorry, but I'm out of here!" Claudia screeched as she flew off panicky.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That was easy." Lucius sounded surprised.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]N chuckled. "It seems my new friend wasn't quite as ready for battle as she had me believe. But my other friend will make up for that. Go, Baltoy!"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A weird little balancing top came around the corner. "Ha, is that all?" Lucius boasted as he bit the Baltoy. The Baltoy didn't even seem to feel the nasty bite it received, and reciprocated by rapidly slashing Lucius multiple times with its arms, spinning around. Lucius bit it again, and once again the Baltoy completely ignored the Bite and reciprocated by multiple rapid scratches. Lucius was the one bleeding now.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas though this all very weird. "Octa, shouldn't Lucius' Bites be very powerful against a Baltoy?"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa nodded. "If the simpleton is doing them properly, the dark energy such a bite should be infused with should overwhelm a telepathic mind. Ergo, he's not doing them properly. A pity, 'tis such a shame to see him hurt because of his own incompetence."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I told you," Lucius gnarled as he was hit by the enemy again, "shut up!"[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas couldn't help think that the Baltoy was moving in rather strange ways for what was essentially a living top. It moved sideways, and dodged in ways that seemed physically impossible for it. Its flat arms were also leaving distinct claw marks on Lucius' skin. Suddenly a story his father had once told him sprang to Boreas' mind. "Lucius! Try using fire!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Shut. Up. Pup! That's stupid!" Lucius gnarled.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Just use a fire-attack, if I'm right it'll work much better!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, you are wrong, dipshit. Because that is a ground and psychic type, so fire will do little, while my bites work extra good. So stop bothering me with your stupid suggestions."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It's not a Baltoy, it's a Zorua! So just try using fire!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Are you blind as well as stupid? It's a Baltoy, look at it. And now shut your trap!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Idiot." Boreas and Lucius said at the same moment. Half a minute later, Lucius was defeated.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa, it's your turn!" [/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa switched in. "Hello, Diego, long time no see." he said as he launched a Leaf Tornado at the enemy.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Baltoy was so surprised by Octa's words that he was caught up right in the middle of the Leaf Tornado. The storm of leaves completely enveloped him. When the Leaf Tornado dissipated, a large, black shape with many eyes stood in its centre.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Holy buckets!" Black cursed, "It evolved!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, it didn't." Octa calmly spoke, "He's just trying to intimidate me. But his illusions shan't work any more." He put extra force behind the words by accentuating them with a Leaf Tornado, which the Claydol dodged with a jump a real Claydol could never have performed.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Diego, drop the disguise," N said, "they've seen through it."[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Claydol disappeared into thin air, and in its centre was a Zorua with several cuts made by viciously sharp leaves. Immediately after dropping the disguise, he jumped at Octa and scratched him several times with his claws. Octa slapped Diego with his vines, knocking him off, and Diego tried to Bite Octa. Octa quickly dodged, and then suddenly a brilliant light enveloped him.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Diego jumped back startled, and the light made it hard for Boreas to see what was happening to his friend. He was scared, and hoped nothing was wrong. Squinting, he managed to see Octa's silhouette in the radiant light. It was rapidly changing, growing longer and sleeker, and leaves sprouted from his back in the process. Less than ten seconds after it had started, the light disappeared.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Splendid." Octa the Sevine remarked. Boreas noted his voice was lower and more melodious than it had been before. He saw Diego had retreated to N's shoulder. "Diego, would you be so good as to come down from there so I can celebrate my evolution by winning this battle?"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not today." Diego surrendered, "I don't think I can beat you now."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You win." N said to Black.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Wow, you evolved!" Black congratulated Octa.[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As you can see, my friends aren't strong enough to save all Pokémon." N said, "Maybe I can't solve the equation that will change the world. So, I need power... Power enough to make anyone agree with me. Then, we will be friends." he walked off.[/FONT]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas joined Octa, surprised at how much larger he had become. "Octa, you look awesome!"[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thank you, my dear fellow."[/FONT]

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Y-yeah." Toxica whispered. Boreas noticed she was blushing a deep purple and seemed to be staring at the ground. "Really, really awesome."[/FONT]

 

[Cutlerine]

Well, it's been a while, but I'm back. Now, until you catch up here with the rest on Bulbagarden, I can't do much more than repeat my previous warnings about woodenness - I noticed it more than usual as I read through these chapters, though that's probably because I haven't read any of this for a while - but I can offer some advice on something new that I've just spotted: some decidedly underwhelming description.

This is what I mean:

An abhorrent gust of infernal, flames hit Boreas, much, much warmer than anything he had ever imagined possible.

The problem here is the word 'warmer'; it's a very weak word for heat, possibly the weakest one there is. A better choice would be 'hotter', really. (There also shouldn't be a comma after 'infernal', but that's another matter.)

The same thing crops up here:

Cheren's Pidove had been closest, but she had turned out to have crashed into the river and was floating around on her back, badly burnt but still alive. Now that the excitement of battle was over, Boreas had a chance to examine himself. His fur was badly burnt, completely blackened and dead in some places, while in others it just looked poor and thin.

You repeat 'badly burnt' so that it loses its impact, and at any rate, you could probably do better than 'poor and thin' for the quality of his fur. 'Poor' seems to me to be an odd choice to describe fur that's had parts burned out of it, anyway; consider 'seared', 'singed', 'scorched', and other such words. Stronger, more varied adjectives will increase the interest.

Aside from that, I have a small point regarding this:

"No, my dear fellow, that's the really quite fascinating part, he doesn't. You see, as much as he hates his uncle now that he knows the truth, he can't bring himself to commit cold-blooded murder."

Octa is entirely incorrect. Anyone who knows as much as he claims to about Hamlet would know that the reason Hamlet doesn't kill Claudius then is not due to an inability to commit cold-blooded murder; I mean, right afterwards he goes and kills Polonius because he thinks he's his uncle. The real reason he doesn't kill him is because he believes Claudius is at prayer, and he reasons that if he kills him right then when his sins are being absolved, he'll just go to heaven, and Hamlet really wants him to go to hell. So he decides to kill him at some other time, when he's drunk or in bed with Gertrude or something. The irony is, of course, that Claudius isn't praying; he finds himself incapable of prayer, his murder of his brother weighing too heavily on his mind to let him communicate with God. That turned out longer than I thought, but the point remains.

Anyway, that's all I can say for now, other than that it seemed a bit strange how Toxica joined them. There was never any mention of Black actually catching her, or why she came with them - in any ordinary circumstance, when one person meets another, they don't immediately up sticks and go with them. This seems even more strange when you consider that Toxica's an Oddish, and they're fairly sedentary during the day at least; they only move around at night, and even then, I doubt they would wander right across the country and into a city without some strong motivation. I'm sure you have an explanation, and it's fairly obviously hinted at, but it would be nice to have it more clearly explained and expanded on.

That's all for now. Keep it up, and aim ever higher.

F.A.B.

 

[destinedjagold]

I just finished reading all the chapters and I am really loving it!
Although I am finding the Glaceon and Vaporeon love scene a bit awkward... I ain't really a big fan of love scenes but whatever.

Also, I thought Diego was a Purrloin...? Or was it really a Zorua in Dusquise in the first few chapters, but was not mentioned?

Anyway, keep up the great work!
I can't wait to read the rest of the chapters. :)

 

[apenpaap]

Octa is entirely incorrect. Anyone who knows as much as he claims to about Hamlet would know that the reason Hamlet doesn't kill Claudius then is not due to an inability to commit cold-blooded murder; I mean, right afterwards he goes and kills Polonius because he thinks he's his uncle. The real reason he doesn't kill him is because he believes Claudius is at prayer, and he reasons that if he kills him right then when his sins are being absolved, he'll just go to heaven, and Hamlet really wants him to go to hell. So he decides to kill him at some other time, when he's drunk or in bed with Gertrude or something. The irony is, of course, that Claudius isn't praying; he finds himself incapable of prayer, his murder of his brother weighing too heavily on his mind to let him communicate with God. That turned out longer than I thought, but the point remains.

Well, the point is actually highly debatable. There are various interpretations of that scene, yours and Octa's both being ones. Octa's choice of the more benevolent interpretation perhaps says something about his own view on the world. Good job on recognising Hamlet, by the way.

Anyway, that's all I can say for now, other than that it seemed a bit strange how Toxica joined them. There was never any mention of Black actually catching her, or why she came with them - in any ordinary circumstance, when one person meets another, they don't immediately up sticks and go with them. This seems even more strange when you consider that Toxica's an Oddish, and they're fairly sedentary during the day at least; they only move around at night, and even then, I doubt they would wander right across the country and into a city without some strong motivation. I'm sure you have an explanation, and it's fairly obviously hinted at, but it would be nice to have it more clearly explained and expanded on.

You've got a very good point here, now that I think about it, and I'll certainly have to expand upon that scene when I rewrite the chapter.

I just finished reading all the chapters and I am really loving it!
Although I am finding the Glaceon and Vaporeon love scene a bit awkward... I ain't really a big fan of love scenes but whatever.

Well, that's a shame. I hope you'll like the love scenes in the future better.

Also, I thought Diego was a Purrloin...? Or was it really a Zorua in Dusquise in the first few chapters, but was not mentioned?

Indeed, that's what I meant to imply by that scene, and also explains why he never seemed to get hurt in the previous battle with him and why he could use Fake Tears, which is not in Purrloin's movelist but is in Zorua's movelist.


[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Fourteen: An Archæologist With Backbone[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Nacrene Gym was a big stately white building with classicist architecture and sculptures of ancient pokémon outside. Before entering, Black paused for a moment to talk to his pokémon.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Gym Leader here uses the normal-type. That means none of you will be at either a type advantage or a disadvantage. So I'll simply use the most powerful among you. Good luck."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They entered a magnificent hall with all kinds of archæological and palæontological exhibits, such as ancient skeletons, fossils, sculptures, and reliefs. The hall was dominated by a beautifully reconstructed skeleton of a draconian pokémon.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Do you want to visit the museum, sir?" someone standing next to the door asked, startling Black. "A ticket costs 10 pokémoney."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And... What about the Gym?" Black asked. "Is it here?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, the Gym? It's-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thank you, Mr. Picklecopter, I will take it from here." a scientist said, "my name is Hawes, and I'll take you to the Gym. It's just in the back of the museum, you see. Do you mind if I give you a small tour before I show you the Gym?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, that's okay."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then walk this way."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black followed Hawes. The first exhibit they stopped at was the large dragon skeleton. "This fascinating skeleton was once a Dragonite. It lived about 5000 years ago, and when it was alive it must have been one of the most powerful pokémon in all of Unova. Wild Dragonites are incredibly rare and have territories the size of a small continent, you see. Even in modern times, a human capturing them in the wild is completely unheard of. Very, very rarely, a powerful trainer manages to catch a Dratini and train it all the way to a Dragonite, but such a process takes an incredible amount of time and energy. In the era when this Dragonite lived, humans worshipped them and would often make sacrifices to them. The bones of this Dragonite showed severe damage when they were dug up, so it is thought that it perished in an accident."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He led them on to a relief of an insectoid pokémon. "This is a relief of a Kabutops, a pokémon that used to be extinct before a technology to revive them from fossils was perfected."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He continued the tour, showing many interesting exhibits, and finally he showed a bright white stone. "We're not quite sure what this is. It seems to be just an ordinary white stone, but it's impossible to make any marks on it. My wife is still researching what it might be. My wife is the director of this museum and the Gym Leader, see, a very strong and kind trainer named Lenora. And her Gym is just through that door there. Good luck, you'll need it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thanks." [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Behind the door was another large room, full of books stacked in large bookcases. There must have been thousands of books in the library, and Boreas just stared at it in bedazzlement. Octa had taught him how to read at the Daycare, but there had been only a few dozen books there. He had never imagined this many books existing in the whole world, let alone together in a single place. Between the towering bookcases were paths. Most of the paths were thin, but one of them, the central one where they were currently, was several metres wide and divided the library in two. In the middle of the wide path, a woman with dark skin and blue hair curled up into a large cloud-like shape was reading a book on a table. She looked up when she heard them enter.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Are you the Gym Leader?" Black asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes." She said, standing up, "I am Lenora, director of the museum and Gym Leader. Are you a challenger?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes. My name is Black, and I want to challenge you!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lenora swung her apron over her shoulder to reveal a belt of pokéballs. "Well then, Black, I'm going to research how you battle with the pokémon you have lovingly raised! Shall we use two pokémon each?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hawes spoke up. "The challenger and Gym Leader Lenora will each use two pokémon. They are not allowed to use items, and a pokémon that has been switched out counts as having been defeated. Begin the battle!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Schliemann," Lenora threw a pokéball, "Test this challenger's worth!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A Herdier appeared from the pokéball. "Lucius, begin the battle with a Howl!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As Lucius howled, charging into combat, Boreas felt like a small friendly town that was expecting to get a new road built through it, greatly boosting its economy, when the government suddenly announces its going to build the road through the neighbouring city that keeps dumping their toxic waste into the town's fields instead. "Lucius? But I thought I..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well," Octa said as Lucius and Schliemann started their battle, "he did say he would use the most powerful pokémon. I would assume that to mean myself and Lucius."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But I'm better than Lucius!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The time you tried to kill me says otherwise, pup!" Lucius sneered, dodging the Herdier's attack.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But I was enraged out of my mind and not thinking properly then. I could beat you if I was calm and using my brains."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius scoffed. "Of coooourse you could, pup. You're becoming as cocky as your bo- ARP!" Schliemann hit him with a grievously powerful Take Down which knocked him away in a nearly straight line until he hit the bookcase a few metres back with a massive thud. He managed to get back on his feet, badly bruised, one leg dragging behind him, and very angry. "STOP DISTRACTING ME, PUP!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Schliemann charged Lucius to finish the battle with another Take Down, but Lucius managed to sidestep just in time and the Herdier ran into the bookcase instead, nearly making it fall over with his ferocious strength. Lucius immediately used the opportunity to dig his teeth into his enemy, and followed up by singeing him with an Ember. But Schliemann was faster than Lucius expected, and managed to hit him with another Take Down, knocking him to the ground. Lucius growled and cursed in pain, but couldn't get up any more.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Challenger Black's Houndour is unable to battle. The score is 1-0 in favour of Gym Leader Lenora." Hawes announced.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Damn," Black cursed, "That Herdier is strong! Octa, show off your newly evolved skills!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]With pleasure." Octa stepped forward.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa, begin with Growth!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa grew five lengthy vines, one from his tail, one from each hand, and two more from the leaves on his back. His opponent tried to use Octa's momentary distraction to take him down, but Octa dodged the attack with an incredibly agile slither. Then, when his opponent had passed him, he Vine Whipped him with all five vines, causing five ugly marks on the Herdier's skin. Schliemann tried to attack him, but he whipped up a Leaf Tornado much larger than Boreas had ever seen him use, which caught the Herdier and blew him right back to his trainer, wounded.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gym Leader Lenora's Herdier is unable to battle. The score is 1-1!" Hawes pronounced.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's quite the pokémon!" Lenora complimented Octa as she threw another pokéball, "But no matter how grim the situation, I'll use my scientific skills to find a winning strategy! Go, Dubois!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa bowed to salute the Watchog that appeared from the pokéball, and tried to Vine Whip it, but it managed to jump in between his attacks, and hit him with a bone-crushing Retaliate that connected with a phenomenal noise and launched him off his feet, several metres through the air before he landed on the ground. For a moment it seemed the battle was over, but then Octa got back up. He began counter-attacking the Watchog, but it was clear that Dubois was faster and even stronger than the Herdier was.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Isn't he amazing?" Toxica whispered reverently. She was intently staring at Octa, blushing and with a perverted grin on her face.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I guess." Boreas said, rather annoyed by her.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He's so strong, and cool, and smart, and attractive..." she gushed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Toxica was really beginning to get on Boreas' nerves, but he couldn't help but agree with her that evolution had increased Octa's abilities by an impressive amount. He wondered when he would evolve, an then he wondered what he would evolve into. He had never really given the matter thought before, but now he realised that he would have to decide at some point what he wanted to be, or be stuck with something random for the rest of his life. He remembered how easy Zeph had found the choice and how he had always known he wanted to be a Jolteon. Tears shot into his eyes as he realised with a pang of grief that Zeph would never get to be a Jolteon. Damn, he thought, I thought I was over it...[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Drawing a deep breath, he managed to calm himself down enough to think about what he wanted. I could be a Leafeon like Mum. He pictured himself as a Leafeon, walking in a forest and enjoying the warm summer weather instead of suffering in it. He really liked the idea. Yeah, I want to be a Leafeon.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But then he realised that being an Espeon would be great as well. He thought of all the things he could do with psychic powers. Then he was suddenly snapped out of his reverie by a yelp of pain from Octa and Toxica drawing a startled breath as Octa was violently crushed between his enemy's Take Down and the bookcase. It seemed things were not going well for Octa: while his enemy was clearly hurt and losing energy, Octa himself seemed to be at the end of his abilities.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He missed the Watchog, who quickly retreated after pinning Octa to the bookcase and was now getting ready to finish it. Octa extended his vines, and Dubois was ready to dodge them as he charged, but Octa didn't attack his enemy with his vines, but the floor. He pushed himself off the ground with his vines and launched himself over the top of the two metres-tall bookcase. Immediately after landing on the other side of it, he pushed the bookcase, which was severely weakened due to the several Take Downs it had absorbed. With a monumental creaking, the bookcase fell over, right on top of the charging Watchog who couldn't get away in time.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The three humans immediately rushed over and together they pulled the bookcase up far enough that they could rescue the Watchog from under it. "I'm sorry about messing up your library like this." Black apologised.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No need to be." Lenora said, returning her Watchog to his pokéball after checking if he was okay. "I suppose having a battle in a library is just asking for it. I should probably battle outside from now on."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hawes seemed to suddenly remember his role as judge. "Gym Leader Lenora's Watchog can't battle. Challenger Black has won the match!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That was so cool!" Toxica praised Octa.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I just thought about what Boreas would do in my situation, and did so. It worked quite staggeringly well, didn't it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We should go celebrate your victory and evolution this evening, Octa!" Toxica said. "Remember that pub with the pokémon serving we passed on the way here? We should go there for some dinner!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Boreas said, "We should go celebrate your victory and evolution there."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uhm..." Toxica said, "I meant just Octa and me, really."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Boreas smirked, "So did I."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Why don't we all three of us go celebrate?" Octa intermitted.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Both the others sighed. "Hmpf, fine." they grumbled.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That evening all three were having a lot of fun on the pub's terrace.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]...So with all my strength I launched myself upwards at least five metres, still only barely reaching the top of the gargantuan bookcase, and I pulled my limbs and tail as close to me as I could, for I could've broken my neck if I had hit the bookcase and landed badly as a result. Then, with a phenomenal thud nearly breaking my ankles, I landed on the ground and immediately began executing the second part of my brilliant plan: I set my shoulder and all vines to the mighty bookcase, and with an outpouring of titanic strength I managed to topple it, so my opponent was crushed by the colossal falling bookcase." He finished his glass of wine. "In the name of snowman Rayquaza, some days I amaze even myself."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's the fifth time you've told that story," Boreas said, "and every time you tell it it gets better."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's because I tell it better each time, my dear fellow." he poured himself another glass, "Of course, you inspired me to it. A toast, to my good friend Boreas: as clever as a brain pie, and just as impulsively rash as one."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They toasted and drank from their glasses, though Boreas was pretty sure something had gone wrong mid-metaphor.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course," Toxica, drinking with a straw due to her lack of arms, said, "You were also incredibly brave to fight that Watchamacallithog in the first place."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh yes!" Octa agreed, "It was a foul, monstrous, hideous, dangerous, powerful, gigantic,-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't forget smelly." Boreas intermitted.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, thank you, my dear fellow, I shan't. Smelly. Very smelly. As smelly as the moist hole of a Skuntank suffering from terminal colon cancer. I do not know if you are familiar with that particular smell, but smelly 'twas. A smell that would have frightened off an anosmic Muk. What was I talking about again?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Your fiendish opponent." Boreas reminded him.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course! And what a smelly creature 'twas! Smelly and hideous enough to make a grown pirate weep and wish for his mother to please give him a cookie!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Terrifying!" Toxica added.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Grotesque!" Boreas added.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ferocious!" Toxica added.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Nauseating!" Boreas added.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Indeed." Octa agreed, "It must've been hand-picked by Giratina himself."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]From the darkest corners of the Distortion World." Boreas added, "Where a thousand and five Hydreigons scream for naught."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, that particular spot!" Octa agreed.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not hand-picked!" Toxica disagreed, "Banished! Banished because old Giratina was too scared of it stealing his dark throne made of forty-two obsidian Garchomp-skulls!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Forty-seven!" Boreas improved.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Forty-twelve, actually." Toxica bettered herself. "And Octa defeated all forty-twelve... What were they again?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So I did!" Octa said, "A toast to me!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They toasted again and downed their glasses. "Boreas, pour me another glass, please? I'm an arm short of being able to do it myself." Toxica asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas tried to pour her another glass, but after the first few drops nothing came out any more. "Hmm..." Boreas said, "must be clogged."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He looked into the bottle and saw it was not clogged, just empty. "It's empty." he announced gravely.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa chuckled. "A blessing in disguise, my dear fellow, for I do think we've all had quite enough."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas and Toxica couldn't possibly disagree. "Did we pay already?" Toxica asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, remember, when we ordered the food and the wine."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'd toast Black right now for giving us the money if we had wine left to toast with." Octa said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We had to work for it, though." Boreas said, "Or rather, we had to work to make him understand what we wanted."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Great guy, Black." Octa said, "But he has an unmatched ability of not understanding what you're saying. But he is friendly."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Brave." Toxica added.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Team Plasma!" Boreas said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, he is all that too. Noble and Team Pla- Hang on, no, I don't believe he is a member of Team Plasma, my dear fellow."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, not Black in Team Plasma, but just Team Plasma. Look over there!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'tsounds to me like you've had quite too much to dri- Arceus' balls! You're right!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Several Team Plasma grunts were walking through the twilighted town, looking around to see if no one was following them.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]C'mon." Boreas said, jumping to the ground. He fought a momentary battle with gravity over whether or not he would manage to remain standing, and won. "Let's follow them, they're going in the Gym's direction."[/FONT]

 

[Cutlerine]

Well, the point is actually highly debatable. There are various interpretations of that scene, yours and Octa's both being ones.

I'm not entirely convinced it's that debatable, given that Hamlet actually says this:

Now might I do it pat, now he is praying;
And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven;
And so am I revenged. That would be scann'd:
A villain kills my father; and for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
O, this is hire and salary, not revenge.

which states outright that it would constitute mercenary assassination rather than revenge to kill Claudius at prayer. Anyway, that's not really a major point; I'm not here to get into a debate about it. I just happen to like books. On with my customary review!

Now, this chapter felt a little short in comparison to the others; I don't know if it was, but it felt like it. Perhaps it was the fact that events seemed to move on a little too quickly: they arrived in the Gym, then fought Lenora, then were in the pub, in rapid succession. It might be due, I guess, to the fact that Boreas wasn't directly involved in the main action, in which case there's not a lot that can or should really be done about it.

In part, it's probably also due to the fact that Black won against Lenora - again. I find that that's one of the biggest problems facing journey fics: often, their protagonists beat every bad guy and Gym Leader first time, and it becomes sort of predictable and tired. I get that Lucius was defeated, and Octa only just won himself - but I still feel that Black is verging on becoming rather dull. At the risk of ruining further chapters for myself, I'm going to ask if there's any point at which Black doesn't win; if he never loses, he'll seem a lot less real and a lot more unlikeable. It's only just reached the point at which it's starting to make itself noticed, which means it isn't yet really bad; it's something to be aware of, and something that will probably need correction if Black and his Pokémon are to come across as full and realistic characters.

In addition, you did this a couple of times:

"That's quite the pokémon!" Lenora complimented Octa as she threw another pokéball, "But no matter how grim the situation, I'll use my scientific skills to find a winning strategy! Go, Dubois!"

when what you should have put was this:

"That's quite the pokémon!" Lenora complimented Octa as she threw another pokéball, "But no matter how grim the situation. I'll use my scientific skills to find a winning strategy! Go, Dubois!"

When you begin a new sentence within the quotation marks after the dialogue tag - that is to say, when it isn't a continuation of the speech before the tag - the dialogue tag needs to end with a full stop. You've made the same mistake here:

"Damn," Black cursed, "That Herdier is strong! Octa, show off your newly evolved skills!"

This ought to be:

"Damn," Black cursed. "That Herdier is strong! Octa, show off your newly evolved skills!"

That occurs a couple more times throughout the chapter; fix it and that's pretty much the last of the grammatical errors sorted.

Having said all that, the conversation in the pub was quite funny; congratulations there. I look forward to further chapters.

F.A.B.

 

[apenpaap]

I'm not entirely convinced it's that debatable, given that Hamlet actually says this:

which states outright that it would constitute mercenary assassination rather than revenge to kill Claudius at prayer. Anyway, that's not really a major point; I'm not here to get into a debate about it. I just happen to like books. On with my customary review!

Well, one can ask oneself whether Hamlet is being honest in that scene or just justifying his actions (or rather, lack of action) to himself. There's an entire section of this wikipedia article written about it, actually.

Now, this chapter felt a little short in comparison to the others; I don't know if it was, but it felt like it. Perhaps it was the fact that events seemed to move on a little too quickly: they arrived in the Gym, then fought Lenora, then were in the pub, in rapid succession. It might be due, I guess, to the fact that Boreas wasn't directly involved in the main action, in which case there's not a lot that can or should really be done about it.

In part, it's probably also due to the fact that Black won against Lenora - again. I find that that's one of the biggest problems facing journey fics: often, their protagonists beat every bad guy and Gym Leader first time, and it becomes sort of predictable and tired. I get that Lucius was defeated, and Octa only just won himself - but I still feel that Black is verging on becoming rather dull. At the risk of ruining further chapters for myself, I'm going to ask if there's any point at which Black doesn't win; if he never loses, he'll seem a lot less real and a lot more unlikeable. It's only just reached the point at which it's starting to make itself noticed, which means it isn't yet really bad; it's something to be aware of, and something that will probably need correction if Black and his Pokémon are to come across as full and realistic characters.

Yes, they'll lose various fights. I think by now (the point where I'm writing now, that is, which is a little past halfway though the story) they've lost five to eight times, the exact number depending on what exactly counts as a loss. I know victory after victory gets boring, so there are indeed losses, sometimes with pretty catastrophic consequences, in the story.

When you begin a new sentence within the quotation marks after the dialogue tag - that is to say, when it isn't a continuation of the speech before the tag - the dialogue tag needs to end with a full stop. You've made the same mistake here:
That occurs a couple more times throughout the chapter; fix it and that's pretty much the last of the grammatical errors sorted.

Yeah, I know. That problem will continue for a few more chapters, and finally get fixed somewhere around chapter twenty. Though, by then I distinctly remember myself horribly overusing the word "whom" for a few chapters, using it wrongly where I should've used "who".

Having said all that, the conversation in the pub was quite funny; congratulations there. I look forward to further chapters.

F.A.B.

Thanks. I've heard people say drunk jokes are only one step above fart jokes, so I'm quite glad to hear people like that scene.

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Part Three: Double: Evolutions and Trouble[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Fifteen: The Stolen Skull[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]When Team Plasma arrived at the museum, they started trying to open the door without setting off the alarm.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I propose one of us leaves to get Black and Lenora," Octa whispered, "While the other two stays here to observe Plasma's actions and, if the possibility should arise, thwart them. My dear fellow,you're the fastest runner, would you do the honours of getting human reinforcements?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas liked neither the idea of running away from the action or the idea of leaving a tipsy Toxica alone with Octa. "I think it would be better if Toxica was the one to get help."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And I think it would be better if you went to get Black!" Toxica bristled.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, Octa may need my help here, so you should go."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, he may need my help too!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas has a point, I'd really rather have his wits on my side should the need to stop Team Plasma arise," Octa said. "Toxica, would you please go fetch Black? Pip pip!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Giving Boreas a foul look, Toxica said "Okay" and left.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A minute after Toxica left, Team Plasma managed to get through the door without setting off the alarm. "We have to stop them!" Boreas started running off, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hold on, my dear fellow." Octa said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]C'mon, let's go! We can't let them do whatever they want in the museum!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And how are we going to stop them, hmm? Methinks the tipsy two of us don't stand much chance against twelve grunts carrying Arceus knows how many pokémon."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas stopped. "I hadn't thought about that."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, that is your general problem. Rash behaviour is what causes one to get into trouble."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, and pride is what keeps one there," Boreas retorted.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa was about to deliver a comeback to that when Team Plasma came bursting out of the door, their leader carrying the skull of the Dragonite skeleton.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas escaped from Octa's grip. "I don't care how bad our chances are, we can't let them get away!" He ran at Team Plasma and stood in their path growling.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, look guys! It's a cute little Vulpix!" A grunt said.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas growled to make it clear that they wouldn't get past him and that he didn't appreciate being called a Vulpix. "Haha, look, it's growling. Let's take it to Sage Gorm, we may get a small reward."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A couple of them threw pokéballs that Boreas easily dodged and escaped from. Then they sent out a mass of Scraggies, Sandiles, Patrats, Trubbishes, and Purrloins. The whole group of them attacked Boreas, when suddenly a Leaf Tornado knocked a lot of them away. "I wonder why I keep rescuing you from tribulation you get yourself into." Octa, standing next to him, said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, I didn't ask for your help!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite, but you did need it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, a Servine, Sage Gorm will certainly reward us for that one! Surround them!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The pokémon quickly surrounded Boreas and Octa. "Excellent," Octa said. "Do you have any other brilliant ideas?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then, suddenly, a wave of water from the river washed over the land, flooring several Plasma grunts, and a furious female voice cried out: "How dare you desecrate Draco's remains?! You'll pay for that!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A Scraggy was knocked down by another aquatic attack, and then Boreas saw the source of the attacks: a thin, serpentine blue pokémon. He didn't know what species she was, as he had never seen a pokémon like her.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Goodness gracious," Octa spoke reverently, "'tis a Dratini! Let us help her defeat Team Plasma!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They joined the fight alongside the Dratini, but it was soon clear that they were just outnumbered too badly to win. All three were tiring rapidly, when they heard Lenora's voice:[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What's going on here?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uh oh, it's the Gym Leader! Let's skedaddle!" As per usual, they threw some smoke bombs for a quick escape.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Once the smoke cleared, Boreas could see the Dratini was very upset. "No! In the name of Rayquaza, I failed!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't worry." Boreas reassured her. "I can still smell their trail, so I can lead you to them."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh!" It seemed almost as if she hadn't noticed him and Octa until now, "That would be great. I have to get that skull back, you see, it was once the progenitor of my entire family."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then you descend from that Dragonite?" Octa asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Dratini nodded. "By thirty generations."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh well," Octa boasted, "My family goes back thirty-five generations. Our progenitor's name was Equinox, a truly grandiose Serperior whom-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, mine may only go back thirty generations, but those thirty generations do constitute a history of five thousand years. I doubt your thirty-five go back even a tenth of that time."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa bit his lip nervously. "Well, quite. Perhaps my family does not go back that long, but in the end, 'tis all about the achievements of its members, is it not?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite," Boreas said imitating Octa's voice, "And correct me if I am thoroughly mistaken, old chap, but did one of thine ancestors not invent the ballpoint pen?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, not quite," Octa said, annoyed at Boreas' mockery, "but I do have an ancestor who was quite possibly single-handedly responsible for the success of Sir Edward Slateport's expedition on which he discovered Hoenn."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh." the Dratini said, "Well, my ancestors were worshipped as gods by humans for several thousands of years across an entire continent. My name's Capella, by the way."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Others call me Boreas, for 'tis my name. My acquaintance here, a gentleman of great skill and ego, is named Octavianus, but he prefers others to say Octa when using the vocative, for Octavianus, though a glorious name to bear, is quite too polysyllabiccally sesquipedalian to use in conversation."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then Boreas saw that Toxica had returned with Black and Lucius. "You're a pair of loonies, that's what you are." Lucius said by way of greeting.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Capella was looking rather confused after the impersonations and the sudden arrivals. "O...Kay... So, let's follow them, I'm sure your humans will get the idea soon enough."[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Present[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hold on." Aqua interrupted, "I'm getting stiff from all this sitting, I need a stretch."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]She got up and stretched her back. Boreas couldn't take his eyes off her gorgeous body as she stretched. His eyes traced her long, strong finned tail, her wide hips, her waist, but when he reached her head, he saw she was looking at him with an eyebrow arched quizzically. He quickly looked away, feeling himself blush like a tamato.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I should warn you:" Aqua spoke, her voice very close to his ear, "males have died for this body."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't doubt it," Boreas responded as he looked back to see she was now sitting very close to him, "but I would rather live for it, if it's all the same to you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I may just take you up on that offer..."Aqua whispered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They looked deep into each other's eyes, and it felt as if time had stopped. Then suddenly a voice called "Boreas! Where are you?!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas closed his eyes in annoyance. Not now, he thought, can't you wait just a bit longer?[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He heard a splash, opened his eyes, and saw Aqua had disappeared. "Aqua?" he asked, looking into the water, "Come back, please, it's just Black!" but Aqua didn't resurface, and he didn't see her underwater either.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The motorboat came by and its human pilot saw him on the rock: "Boreas! Thank all the legendaries I found you again! Come on board!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas looked in the water around the rock again and saw nothing, so he sighed and jumped into the water, swimming back to the boat. After he had swam a few metres, Aqua's head suddenly appeared from the water right next to him, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and disappeared under water again. Boreas was so surprised and joyed that he completely forgot how to swim for a moment and sunk underwater, accidentally breathing in some water. Coughing and spluttering, but with his cheek feeling warm and rosy, he resurfaced. He tried to see where Aqua was, but she had disappeared again. He was starting to believe the stories about Vaporeons being able to melt into water. When he reached the boat after a few more metres, he was lifted on board by Black, who promptly hugged him and ended up all wet.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm sorry, Boreas," he said, "I didn't notice you had fallen out for a very long time. I'm just glad I found you again."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He put Boreas down, and Boreas immediately shook the water from his fur. Only then did he notice that there was also a Servine in the boat, who was now looking rather wet and annoyed.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, sorry, I didn't see you, Octa." Boreas apologised.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite," Octa muttered.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So, how did things go with those grunts? Is everyone alright?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, we were all fine, my dear fellow, until Black suddenly showed up without you and made me rather worried for your well-being."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas hadn't considered that yet. "Sorry."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Now, Black may believe you fell out of the boat, but I know you better than that and thus suspect you jumped out because it seemed like a really good idea at one point."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You're quite right there."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I know I am. What puzzles me is this: what prompted such behaviour?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas arched an eyebrow suggestively. "Can you think of nothing that might make a male act like that?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A lady?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's right."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You jumped off a boat on a river while having little to no swimming experience because you saw a lady?" he sighed, "You have surpassed yourself, my dear fellow."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not just any lady." Boreas defended himself, "She was... So cute, and nice, and gorgeous, and smart, and sexy... I mean, her fur was so soft and blue and gleamy, and her tail was so long and strong, and her smile was blinding... And her eyes... Oh, her eyes..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I do hope she had two of them, my dear fellow." Octa quipped.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm serious, Octa! She was completely worth jumping off the boat for. And she even was interested in me too. She wanted to me to tell about all our adventures, and she was flirting with me..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Fine, so you jumped off a boat on a river while having little to no swimming experience because you saw a perfect goddess of love."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I didn't jump off directly. I tried to ask Black to just stop the boat and wait for me while I went to talk to her, but-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]-He didn't understand a word you said." Octa finished his sentence. "So, I expect she must have been surprised at you jumping off the boat to meet her. What did you say to this..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Vaporeon. Her name was Aqua. I told her that my Blizzards were usually powerful enough to freeze a Heatran, but with someone as hot as her nearby I couldn't even manage a cooling breeze."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa burst into laughter. "I do hope that's a joke."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It isn't."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My dear fellow, the one time you actually tried to use a Blizzard you almost got everyone in the room, including yourself, killed. And I quite doubt it could have frozen a Heatran.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I know."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So you were beginning you communication with this lady with a lie. And directly telling her she's "hot"... Not quite the way one treats a lady, my dear fellow. Did she tell you to bugger off?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, actually." Boreas said with a grin, "she laughed and asked me to join her on that rock."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, I would have."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah..." Boreas said, "I'm not about to tell you that you're hot in the first place. Anyway, we had a most pleasant conversation until you two suddenly appeared and chased her off."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, I do apologise for thinking your life might be in danger and attempting to save it."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas tried to engage Octa in conversation, but it seemed he was not interested in hearing a detailed description of Aqua's cute, perky ears. So pretty soon, Boreas was once again staring off at the horizon in boredom. He hung a bit over the edge of the boat and looked down into the water. Suddenly a splash of water hit his face and a pretty blue face surfaced very close to his as Aqua grabbed a hold of the boat.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boo!" she said, giggling at Boreas' startled reaction.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua! I'm so glad to see you again!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I could hardly just let you go," she said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not without hearing the rest of your story," she added, somewhat to Boreas' disappointment.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, okay, I can continue the story. But why don't you join me on board? It can't be easy to hold on to the boat like that."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua climbed on board, taking a large splash of water with her. Octa and Black turned in surprise. "A Vaporeon!" Black enthused, "Octa, Leaf Tornado!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, I don't think I will." Octa refused.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas, Ice Beam! C'mon, listen to me!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas," Aqua asked, "could you please tell him not to try and catch me? I don't like that kind of behaviour. At least," she added with a wink, "not from humans."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas growled as Black grabbed a pokéball, but he just didn't listen. When he raised the pokéball, Boreas figured there was only one way to stop him and Ice Beamed the hand he was throwing with. Black yelped in pain as the ultra-cold beam hit his hand, and the pokéball flew away and harmlessly landed into the river.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Okay, fine! If you don't want me to catch it, just say so!" Black went back to steering.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thanks," Aqua said with a teasing smile, "but I thought you couldn't even produce a cool breeze with someone as hot as me around?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Uh..." Boreas stammered, trying to think of something, "Blizzards and Ice Beams work very differently, that's why I can still make an Ice Beam. I couldn't do a Blizzard, though."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa decided to introduce himself at that point. "You must be Aqua," he said, "My name is Oc-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]-tavianus, but your nickname is Octa, I know. Boreas told me all about you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Interesting, he told me all about you as well."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh?" Aqua said with a twinkle in her eyes, "I don't hope he told you all about me."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't think he did. But he did give me quite the detailed physical description."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hm-hm." Aqua said with a half-smile that made Boreas feel even more embarrassed than Octa's words alone already made him feel. "I'm sure he did."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Trying to change the conversation's topic, Boreas said: "Why don't I continue telling you about our trouble with Team Plasma?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Great idea!"Aqua said, sitting down next to him.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Do you mind if I listen in, my dear fellow?" Octa asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Several possible answers shot through Boreas' mind, all along the lines of "Of course I mind you listening to me talking to the girl of my dreams and making any potential flirting rather awkward, idiot!" but instead of saying any of these rather rude things, he said:[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course I don't mind!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The boat's too small not to overhear you in the first place," Octa apologised.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then ask Black to return you to your pokéball! "Yeah, you're right. So as I was telling you earlier, we met Capella the Dratini when Team Plasma stole the Dragonite skull, and together with her and the Gym Leader, we pursued Team Plasma out of town. They soon entered a maze of a forest named Pinwheel Forest, and started leaving individual grunts behind to slow us down. That didn't work very well, as they were absolutely no match for us and Lenora. We kept chasing them and slowly gained ground..."[/FONT]

 

[destinedjagold]

As usual, the new chapter was a great read!
And you were right about making their love scene a bit more interesting.
When Aqua left, I was like "nuuuuuuuuuuuu dun't leave! :C" and that "boo" really gave me a 'lol' xD

Excited to read the next chapter~

 

[apenpaap]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Sixteen: A Good Servant, but a Cruell Master[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Past[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]...I just don't know," Boreas said while dodging the Sandile's jaws, "First I thought I wanted to be a Leafeon, then an Espeon, then a Glaceon, then I came back to Leafeon again, and now I just don't know. What do you think I should evolve into?" He counter-attacked the Sandile, knocking it out.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I see." Octa, defeating a Scraggy with a Leaf Tornado, said, "I think it might be fun if you were to evolve into Leafeon, together with Toxica we would be the three grass-type amigos. On the other hand, you don't quite possess the temperament of a grass-type."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What do you mean?" Boreas asked as they moved on from the defeated Plasma grunt.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, us grass-types are all to varying degrees vegetable. And being vegetable, sometimes one finds one has to do what plants do: just be patient and calmly let everything come to you. Methinks that is not quite your style, my dear fellow. Of course, evolving to a Leafeon might be an important learning experience for you, and as such it might teach you some patience and equanimity. However, methinks you might make a good Flareon. Of course, the idea of another fire-type in the team seems rather less appealing to me than another grass-type, but considering it would still be you it would not be problematic."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas hadn't considered being a Flareon yet. "Maybe you're right. Being a Flareon would be cool."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I know. Incidentally, methinks we might be getting close to the fellow carrying the cranium. If I counted correctly, the grunt we defeated just now was the eleventh."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas frowned. "Did we just defeat a grunt?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, remember, while we were discussing your potential future evolutionary metamorphosis."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh yeah."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly a human in the most bizarre clothing Boreas had ever seen jumped out of a tree right in front of them. Boreas started growling at the intruder, but then Lenora greeted him. "Burgh! You startled me, what are you doing here?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]If someone had taken an insane Darumaka, trained it to walk upright, glued a loofah to the top of its head, strategically shaved its eyebrows, injected it with an almost lethal overdose of every psychostimulant on the planet, poured super glue all over it, and then let it loose to rampage through a clothing store and a working paint factory, the result would not look exactly like Burgh, but those who knew him would certainly consider the similarity eerie. "I was looking at the bugs in the trees to get inspiration for my art." Burgh explained.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Did you see Team Plasma pass by?" Lenora asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, but I did hear someone run by. That distracted me from the bugs, so I looked around and saw you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then they're close by?" Lenora asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh yes, just up in the tree I jumped down from."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Team Plasma, not the bugs!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Whom?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The guys we're chasing!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You're chasing someone?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes! Team Pla- Oh, forget it, just come with us, we might need your help!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As they ran on, Lenora introduced Burgh and Black: "Burgh, this is Black, a trainer who's on a quest to collect all badges and has already defeated Chili and me. Black, this is Burgh, Castelia's Gym Leader."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I prefer to think of myself as an insectious artist in the first place, and Gym Leader in the second, though."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Insectious?" Black inquired.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Burgh nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They rapidly approached the final Plasma grunt, and were soon close enough to hear his running footsteps ahead. Then they entered a clearing after the grunt. A small river ran through the middle of the clearing, and towards the edge there was a big, moss-covered rock that pulsated with odd energy. The exhausted, panting grunt handed the skull to a bald old man in blue clothing standing by the river.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hoots mon, how are ye holding up, laddie?" the goatee-wearing man asked the grunt in a Scottish accent.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I... Have failed, Sage Gorm!" the grunt panted, "We couldn't lose the pursuers, they managed to follow me here!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'Tis nae important, laddie." Gorm said, "I will defeat them meself. 'Tis even better this way, lad, as this allows me to fix it so they never interfere with us again."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lenora stepped forward. "You're outnumbered, Gorm, you're not fixing anything. Hand over the skull and come with us."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gorm laughed. "I be one of Team Plasma's Seven Sages, lassie. Even if there are three of ye, ye cannae defeat me. And don't start pointing out that ye are Gym Leaders. That doesnae matter. Ghetsis, the founder of Team Plasma and another of the Seven Sages made sure all of us are much more powerful than even the strongest of Gym Leaders, let alone B-list Gym Leaders like yerself and Burgh."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't break your arm while patting yourself on the back, Gorm. Just give back that skull and no one has to get hurt. What do you want with it in the first place?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ah, now that be a good question, lass. As an airchaeologist, I take it ye're familiar with the fact that a fossil can be revived?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lenora nodded.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We are going to revive this Dragonite. It is one of the most powerful pokémon in existence, and will be a great asset to our cause."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Capella seemed to be just about ready to attack him at this. "I can't let you do that," Lenora spoke as she and Burgh threw six pokéballs each to unleash their full teams so that their side stood seventeen pokémon strong.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gorm," Black said, "you can't win, give up now!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gorm swept aside his blue cloak to reveal six black and yellow pokéballs on his belt. Boreas immediately rushed over to him, picking up the biggest stone he could hold on the way, climbed into his leg, grabbed a pokéball with a Gastrodon in it, and smashed the stone into the button sideways. But to his surprise the button didn't crack or break in any way. He tried again, to no result. Then a powerful hand grabbed the scruff of his neck and he was lifted into the air.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black approached Gorm. "If you do anything to hurt him..."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]With his free hand, Gorm threw a pokéball, releasing a gigantic Gyarados between him and Black. "What will happen if I do, lad?" he asked as Black backed away from the huge beast. "Thought ye could pull the same trick twice, dinnae ye?" he said to Boreas, "When Rood told aboot his defeat at yer trainer's hands, we all switched ta ultra balls, which are much more resilient than normal pokéballs." He tossed Boreas over his shoulder, and as he flew through the air in a large parabole, Boreas saw him throw his other five ultra balls, unleashing a Gastrodon, a Carracosta, a Crawdaunt, a Cloyster, and a Kingdra. The grunt sent out a Sandile and a Scraggy. "Return yer pokémon, lad." Gorm said, "they wadnae make any difference in this battle, and I dinnae want ta get them hurt."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas plunged into the river, and started flailing about wildly to try and stay afloat, as he didn't know how to swim. Then a massive wave flooded the river and took Boreas with it, as it washed over the clearing. Helpless in the massive wave, he hit Octa, knocked him over and landed on top of him, faces mere centimetres apart.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]This really isn't the time, guys!" Lucius, swimming clumsily, snapped.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas got off Octa and felt himself blush. "It's not what it looked like!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius smiled a crooked smile. "I won't tell anyone."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa rolled his eyes. "Oh, do be quiet. We have more immediate concerns."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The six powerful water pokémon were creating wave after wave, rapidly flooding the entire clearing. Boreas managed to find a way to stay somewhat afloat in the increasing water levels. Octa hit the enemy Gastrodon with a Leaf tornado, and it cringed in pain with deep cuts from the leaves all over.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa," Boreas cheered, "You're hurting it!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite." Octa basked in the praise, "As a grass-type, I have a natural advantage to these aquatic creatures, despite their power and-" an Ice Beam missed his head by millimetres, leaving a white trail of frost where it had grazed his face, "-Holy smokes, that was close!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas was fiercely jerked away by a powerful current as the water-types had finished flooding the clearing to their liking and were now making whirlpools, currents, and gyres in the water. Boreas was powerlessly forced over the whole battlefield by all sorts of conflicting currents. He passed Kindgra breaching the water and producing a bright, luminous pulse that hit Burgh's Dwebble directly. Small chips of its rocky shell rained everywhere. He saw several attacks just bounce off Cloyster's shell harmlessly, and saw Carracosta effortlessly flicking Lenora's Minccino away as it tried to attack. He found himself in a spot with calmer water were three familiar looking leaves broke the water's surface. With horror, he realised Toxica was drowning and tried to get her above water by pulling on the leaves. She surfaced as a massive beam of high-pressured water blasted by.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, what do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Saving you from drowning!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I won't drown as long as my leaves are above the water, idiot, and I was keeping an eye on-" Suddenly she kicked him in the right side of his face, kicking his head to the left, and immediately he felt a sharp cut on the right of his neck as the Crawdaunt's attempt to decapitate him with its mighty pincer was barely foiled by her quick reaction. There was no time to thank her, however, as the Crawdaunt immediately proceeded to try and cut him in halves. Boreas tried to swim away, but his swimming was really awful, and though Toxica tried to stop the Crawdaunt, it had its mighty pincer in place within two seconds. Just when it seemed Boreas would have to go through the rest of his very short life half as heavy as he used to be, a heavily bloodied Schliemann the Herdier came flying out of nowhere and hit the Crawdaunt's claw, making it give Boreas' tail a bit of a trim instead.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Toxica produced a cloud of spores that Boreas was wise enough to stay out of, but completely enveloped the Crawdaunt as it Crabhammered Schliemann out of his way to get to Boreas, who was swimming away. Toxica yelped and a second later Boreas felt the sharp pincer close around the base of his tail, lifting him up upside down while it lifted up Toxica, whom had been grabbed around her head by the other pincer. For a moment the Crawdaunt just stared at him with small, cold eyes, and Boreas felt mortified that he could be about to lose his tail. [/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Please," he begged the Crawdaunt, "don't cut it off. I surrender, just let me go and I'll leave the battle." Of course he wasn't actually going to surrender while his friends were still fighting but just making false promises to save his tail. Toxica said something, but it was unintelligible as the pincer covered her mouth.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Crawdaunt's small eyes seemed to consider it for a moment, then turned an expression that might have been bundled with a malevolent grin in a creature with facial expressions.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, please," Boreas negotiated, "I'm very attached to my tail. I know, I'll even turn to your side if you let me go!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Crawdaunt's cold eyes kept that same malignant expression, and Boreas was just starting to think about how nice it had been to have had a tail until now, when the Crawdaunt was stricken from behind by five vines, making it twitch in pain and drop Toxica and Boreas.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa was going to say something, but had to swallow it when Crawdaunt angrily snarled out at him with a big pincer. Boreas jumped onto Crawdaunt and tried to Bite it, but its thick exoskeleton was impenetrable to him. He did provide enough of a distraction for Octa and Toxica to hit it multiple times with grass-type attacks, though. After a while it seemed to realise that Boreas was no threat to it and it ignored him to attempt to Guillotine Octa instead. Boreas climbed to the crustacean's head and dug two of his claws into the only vulnerable part of the Crawdaunt: its small, pebble-like eyes. The Crawdaunt hissed in pain and attempted to kill his blinder, but Boreas just jumped off his enemy now that it had effectively been made unable to battle.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then a massive wave caught Boreas as the Gyarados surfaced between him and his two grass-type friends and launched itself to the air. Just behind its head, a much smaller serpentine creature with one of her wing-like ears missing had latched herself on. It seemed that while she wasn't actually managing to hurt the Gyarados, she was still distracting it enough that it didn't partake in the battle.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After finding another relatively tranquil part of the water, Boreas looked around. It seemed Crawdaunt was the only enemy who had been made unable to battle, while only about half of their side was still fighting. He saw Octa, Toxica and Dubois the Watchog battle the Gastrodon together in a very shallow part of the water. They seemed to be doing surprising amounts of damage, and Octa was adopting quite an arrogant swagger in his fighting when an Ice Beam suddenly came from the left and hit him right in the chest. Boreas screamed in fury as he saw his friend collapse, and tried to charge at the enemies, but found the current too strong. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Octa stand up again, albeit with a face screwed up in a pained expression.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Though Boreas didn't know it, the Ice Beam that had hit Octa had actually been intended for Burgh's Leavanny by its creator, the Cloyster. Leavanny had dodged it, however, and it had passed through a particularly large wave that Kingdra was using to try to drown the several pokémon that were battling it together. The Ice Beam had lost most of its energy to the wave, and this is how Octa managed to survive taking it to the heart.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]When he swam through the Gastrodon, avoiding the currents, Boreas found himself in a very deep part of the water, and then the Gyarados surfaced once again just in front of him, still trying to remove Capella from his neck. As it flew up into the air, Boreas grabbed a hold of its fin in an attempt to help Capella. As they flew above the battlefield, he crawled up the Gyarados' body, finding himself next to Capella, whose left ear seemed to have been torn off, leaving only some heavily bleeding remnants. The Gyarados flew through the trees' foliage, attempting to remove the pests on his back.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas!" shouted Capella, "I'm trying to get to its" they dived underwater, "gills, but it keeps protecting them!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hgrblurplplpl!" said Boreas, realising he couldn't speak underwater. The Gyarados swam upside down and scraped its back to the ground, and with a massive thud, Boreas was torn off its back. He gasped for air when he reached the surface. A current so strong he barely managed to keep his head above the surface forced him along until he reached a shallow and pretty calm spot and found himself right next to Octa and four others, fighting Kingdra and seemingly losing.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ah, my dear fellow," Octa greeted him, barely ducking out of the way of a Dragon Pulse, "'Tis my supreme desire for the next few words out of you mouth to be "I have a plan," for we could use a plan as cunning as a fox who used to be professor of cunning at Oxford, but has moved on and is currently working for the United Nations commission of international cunning planning."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The water level rose rapidly. "Have you ever been in a situation where you stopped talking like that?" Boreas asked incredulously as the Kingdra made a rapid spiral current that was developing into a massive whirlpool.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa gleamed with pride. "Never, my dear fellow! 'Tis the mark of a great mind to have the capability to remain eloquent in even the most perilous situations. But do you have a plan?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A rogue downward current pulled Boreas under, and when he resurfaced he said: "No. Not right now!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They spun around ever faster and closer to the centre were the mighty Kingdra was waiting with a malicious grin. Lenora's Minccino reached the middle first, and as soon as she did so, the Kingdra and the current it produced pulled her deep underwater. "You must have some idea!" Octa pleaded.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A light flashed underwater five times, and the Kingdra resurfaced alone. "No. Except..." Boreas had a faint idea, "This forest is rumoured to be the home of Virizion! We could call for his help!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa stared at him incredulously. "Honestly?" he asked, "Your brilliant plan is to hope for legendary interference? I have come to expect better ideas from you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I never said it was brilliant!" Boreas defended himself as he was approaching the Kingdra closer and closer, "Why don't you think of something better if you don't like it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Fine, then, we'll try calling Virizion." Together, they called: "One for all, and all for one!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But Virizion didn't appear. "Well, 'twas worth attempting, I suppose."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas was caught in the inner current of the whirlpool, and approached the grinning Kingdra was massive speed. "No! Boreas!" he heard Octa shout, but there was no fighting against the current. He reached the centre, spinning sickeningly fast, and was forced underwater by the Kingdra. He tried to fight to get back up, but he was absolutely no match for the Kingdra and the current. As the current trapped him underwater, a bright light shone from Kingdra's mouth as it prepared to execute him with a Dragon Pulse. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly Boreas' every cell blazed with a bright white light, and he was filled with a feeling of joy and power, despite his impending death. After a moments confusion, he felt as if every part of his body was connected to the forest around, and noticed he was growing with amazing speed. His ears and tail were losing their fur and turning flat and leaf-like. Leaves were sprouting from his body and his fur was losing length and turning yellow.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But I don't want to be a Leafeon.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It was a simple realisation, but he was completely sure about it. Despite what he had thought earlier and how much help he could be in the current battle as a Leafeon, he simply didn't want to be one. He concentrated on being an Eevee, and noticed he was shrinking again. The leaves that had sprouted on him fell off into the water, and his fur grew rapidly longer and browner. His ears and tail returned to their old state again, and finally the sense of connection he had felt with the forest around him disappeared. The light stopped, and then Boreas noticed he was no longer underwater but in shallow water with Octa.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What happened?" Octa asked, "Why did you not evolve?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I realised I didn't want to be a Leafeon." Boreas said. "What happened to the whirlpool?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Kingdra was so surprised by your sudden near-evolution it forgot to maintain its whirlpool. Within seconds it ended, and because it had collected so much water for it, all that water flowed away and took us with it. 'Tis good to hear you have narrowed down your choice of evolution, incidentally. Do you intend to keep having epiphanies at the last moment of evolution or do you intend to make a choice beforehand?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Just get- I have an idea!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ah, excellent!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What if we threatened to kill Gorm? He would probably recall his pokémon then."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What an uncivilised idea," Octa said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They're trying to drown our trainers too, in case you hadn't noticed, and have already killed at least one of us."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Two wrongs don't make a right."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Okay, maybe they don't. But unless you want them to kill us all, we should do it anyway. We're on the verge of defeat. We may have defeated three of them, but I don't see us defeating the other three, and there's only six of us left, four if you don't count Karrablast and Munchlax, who are about to disappear into Kingdra's whirlpool. Hey, Leavanny!" he called Burgh's Leavanny swimming by.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My name is Salvador, you know." The Leavanny said haughtily.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sorry, Salvador. I need your help. We're going to take Gorm hostage, and I'll need your scissors for it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]How shall you get to Gorm?" said Octa, who seemed to have resigned to this course of action, "Cloyster is guarding him fiercely, Ice Beaming anyone whom approaches. I assume you have considered a way of dealing with this lethal icy tank?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We'll have to distract it," said Boreas.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And by we you mean me," said Octa.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas nodded.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Alright, then I shall go distract the mighty creature that can probably kill me with a single attack and is nearly impervious to damage." He sighed, "you know, I really detest ice-types."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa approached Gorm on his own, as the others were either distracting and/or being killed by Gyarados or Kingdra or doing their part of the plan. When he approached Gorm, Cloyster rose from the water, slightly opening its shell, and lashed out at him with an Ice Beam that made him shiver though it missed him by more than a metre. Octa retreated a bit, but found that the Cloyster wouldn't follow him. So he Vine Whipped it, to absolutely no effect, except that it tried to kill him with another Ice Beam. So he launched a Leech Seed at it instead. The seed nested in an indent in Cloyster's shell and rapidly grew roots all over it, eventually penetrating the opening and reaching the small black creature inside. As its energy began draining, Octa launched a Leaf Tornado at the Cloyster. Though most of the sharp leaves harmlessly hit the shell, a couple managed to get in, and the Cloyster shivered visibly.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh?" Octa said, "so you do have some weakness. Let me try that again from this safe distance..."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Cloyster rapidly swam at Octa, shooting Ice Beams. "Muir, come back here!" commanded Gorm, who was treading water with the ease of an experienced swimmer, but it was too late as Salvador had positioned himself on his back with a scissor around his neck.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Surrender," Boreas growled, "or he cuts your throat."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Though Gorm couldn't understand him, apparently the message was clear as he returned his pokémon to their pokéballs. "Kich! Ye win."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Without the water types to keep the water they had built up around, it all flowed away immediately. As the pokémon trainers tended to their pokémon, Lenora angrily took the skull from Gorm's hands. "You murdered my Minccino, you bastard!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aye, regrettable, but evil must be opposed at all costs. Besides, ye blinded me Crawdaunt."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lenora slapped him. "That can be healed in a pokécenter, but Agricola is dead forever!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gorm didn't care. "'Tisnae so bad anyway, we can afford ta abandon the dragon skull project. We'll be going now."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Before anyone could object, the grunt had thrown his smoke bomb, a minor scuffle happened in the darkness, and Boreas heard several splashes. By the time the smoke cleared, Team Plasma was gone.[/FONT]

 

[apenpaap]

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Seventeen: The Endless City[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Present[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Now hold on, my dear fellow," Octa interrupted.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What is it?" asked Boreas, annoyed at the interruption.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'Tis just that my recollection of that battle differs somewhat from yours on one specific point."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Does it?" said Boreas while giving Octa a dirty look.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite. When that Crawdaunt was about to decaudate you, I don't remember your brave and heroic speech about how 'twas unwise of it to follow Gorm as its master and how it should release Toxica, for killing her would be a most wicked and useless thing to do. As I recall it, you were pleading for your tail's continued attachment to your body and negotiating your surrender when I saved you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Were you?" Aqua asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Thanks Octa, Boreas thought bitterly while smiling apologetically. "Yes, I guess I was. But I was only lying, not actually going to surrender."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]How noble," said Octa.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look," snapped Boreas annoyed, "I had to say something. I didn't know you were about to rescue us, and I had to try to save my tail and Toxica's life."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]By making false promises."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, by making false promises. It's a lot more sensible than letting it kill Toxica and cut off my tail."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I agree," Aqua winked, "it would've been a shame to lose such a nice tail. Though that part sounded a lot cooler when you told it."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Basking in the compliment he had just received, Boreas said: "Well, that's why I embellished it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sure." Aqua said, "That was your motivation behind it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Anyway," said Boreas, quickly changing the subject, "I hope you see now what a bunch of bastards Team Plasma is."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What for?" Aqua asked, "stealing an old fossil skull and attempting to revive it is hardly a heinous crime."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas chuckled. "Don't let Capella hear you say that. She was furious about the desecration of her ancestor's bones. Though that does show how arrogant they are, they will gladly steal something that's not theirs if it so happens to be useful to them, not caring about others. But what is more important, I think, is that Gorm tried to kill us, and actually succeeded in it with Lenora's Minccino."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sure, but he was defending. It's not as if he sought you out to try and kill you. And it doesn't invalidate their point that humans and pokémon should be separated."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa answered. "No, it does not. But quite a lot of other examples invalidate that position. Think of all the pokémon whose lives have been improved by their friendship with humans. My own family has a long and noble history of friendship with our breeders and trainers. Or take Boreas-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I intend to," Aqua shamelessly said.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas felt as if he was melting on the spot and blushed uncontrollably and tried to say something, but couldn't manage anything.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua giggled. "You're very cute when you blush, d'you know that?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas decided he had to say something. "Yes." Yes? He thought, what yes?[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, quite," said Octa with an arched eyebrow. "What I meant was: take Boreas as an example. Without humans, he would not even be alive to trade innuendos with you today. My dear fellow, did you tell the lady about that unpleasant incident in Castelia yet?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas realised he hadn't, and that it would likely convince her, but still felt as if his tongue was glued down. "N... No."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, 'twas a few weeks after the skirmish in Pinwheel Forest that we arrived in the luminescent capital. However-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm telling the story." Boreas said, "As Octa said, it took us a few weeks to get to Castelia. First we had to return to Nacrene to get to the pokécenter, as some of us were pretty badly wounded. I mean, Capella had had most of her ear torn off, and Karel, Burgh's Dwebble had had his shell destroyed by a Dragon Pulse while he was inside it. Luckily the pokécenter was able to heal everyone's wounds and mend all broken bones. After that we spent about a week in Nacrene before we left. But by then Capella had become good friends with us and was satisfied that her ancestor's remains would be better protected, so she decided to come with us."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As a team member?" Aqua asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, she said she's just accompanying us, but she's really become a team member as much as Octa or I now, Black has even used her in Gym battles. Though if you asked her, she would probably still say she's not on the team. Anyway, after a week or two's travel through Pinwheel Forest, we crossed the Skyarrow Bridge into Castelia."[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Past[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A breathtaking view opened up as they left the forest behind. The broad mouth of the river opened up wide ahead, the setting Sun's light reflecting off the waves like a million sparkling jewels. Over the river, a bridge spanned, but it was not just any bridge. It was very high, had two levels, and looked as elegant as a Ninetales and a Milotic performing ballet together. Far away on the other side of the river, the Sun was setting behind an incredible number of spires that were only visible because of the sharp contrast they provided in front of the Sun. The Sun itself was deep red, very close to the horizon, and pretty dim, as one could look straight into it without discomfort. A glittering Skarmory flew over while Finneons made small jumps out of the river's water.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Wow." Boreas gaped in awe at the view.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Behold," Octa spoke, "Skyarrow Bridge, the only suspension bridge in Unova, as well as the longest and highest bridge in the land, which shall take us to Castelia City, radiant capitol of Unova!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Lucius said mockingly, "we know."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They walked through the guardhouse and stepped onto the pristine white bridge. The late day's sunlight gleamed off the white surface. The wide bridge travelled upwards in a helical shape at first, making a loop over the stretches of Pinwheel Forest before it went straight ahead to Castelia. Deep below them, waves washed on the shore and salt and fresh water mixed. Between the water and the pedestrian bridge, cars drove over the lower surface. Massive spires that suspended the bridge rose up far above Skyarrow Bridge's surface. To the right, the calm and broad river separated the land into two, while on the left ships floated on the great sea. As they continued over the bridge, the Sun set and twilight set in, making the distant forest behind them disappear into darkness. But as it grew darker, the approaching skyline of Castelia City only became clearer, as it was illuminated with thousands of tiny lights.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Finally the bridge reached the other shore and descended. Castelia's skyline disappeared behind the closest buildings as they neared the ground. After one final look back at the beautiful, illuminated bridge against the dark night, they entered the guardhouse and Castelia.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Castelia was astonishing, amazing, abnormal, and many more adjectives beginning with an A. Huge skyscrapers were everywhere, towering high into the sky and dwarfing humans and pokémon alike. And yet, despite the omnipresent grey buildings, the city did not have the lifeless atmosphere of Striaton. Instead it seemed as if everyone on the planet had come to Castelia, making the city a mad and busy hustle. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Despite first appearances, Castelia was not all buildings. When they walked through the city the day after they had arrived, Black and his pokémon found the large park that formed the city's centre, Nucleus Park. The park was a complete chaos were people sunbathed, danced, performed music, flew kites, sold ice cream, trained their pokémon, discussed philosophy, walked over the bicycle paths, cycled over the pedestrian paths, swam in fountains, carved their initials into trees, and much, much more.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They also found the docks of the city, with their many piers. Ships from all over the world arrived at the docks and made Castelia's endless ensemble of people and pokémon ever more endless.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Now Black and his pokémon were exploring the inner city. They entered a street that was devoid of people. Boreas' ears twitched in the empty street when he heard a group of suspicious people in long coats sneak around the corner, following them. He bit the leg of Black's trousers to draw his attention.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I've noticed them." Black whispered without looking around. Then, suddenly, eight Team Plasma grunts walked out of a building ahead, blocking the road. They turned around, but the suspicious people behind them threw off their coats and showed themselves to be Plasma grunts as well. Black's pokémon formed a protective circle around him.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gutentag, herr Black," said a long-haired old man with a moustache as he left the building the grunts had come out of. He wore long brown robes.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What do you want?" Black snapped.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]How rude." the old man said, "Let me introduce myself. My name is Bronius of the Seven Sages, and I've come to welcome you to my city."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Your city?" Black scoffed, "Funny, the mayor's name didn't sound like Bronius to me. Of course, it could just be your stupid accent being hard to understand."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Very funny. Let us get straight to business, then. You have become a thorn in Team Plasma's eyes. You... Beschädigtest the operations of Rood and Gorm. One does not trouble Team Plasma without consequences. After Gorm alerted us all about his defeat, I knew you would be coming to Castelia next, and ordered mein men to look out for you. It was probably just luck that allowed you to defeat Rood and Gorm. But perhaps not, and in that case I don't want you walking around freely."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So you're going to kill me."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Kill you?" Bronius seemed insulted, "do you think I'm a barbarian? I am a forgiving man, and we could use a man with your talents. Why don't you join us? You must love pokémon, don't you see they are much better off without humans forcing them to obey?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, as if!" Octa scoffed.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No," Black said, "you're just a sad bunch of hypocrites who want to force your ideals down everyone else's throat and I will never join you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Schade. I had hoped you would cooperate, but in that case, you we will have to liberate your pokémon."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Never!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't remember asking you anything. I don't want your permission to liberate them, as I don't need it. You don't get a choice in the matter," he sent out a Gigalith, an Archeops, an Aggron, a Rhypherior, a Magcargo, and an Omastar. "I will now battle you to liberate your pokémon. If you really are special, you can probably defeat me."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The six powerful rock types charged through the thin street, creating tremors with each step. Octa made a Leaf Tornado to try to hit as many of them as possible, but it didn't faze them. Soon Boreas had to dodge huge rocks flying around, and powerful arms trying to crush him. He barely managed to get away from Archeops' piercing claws, dodged the Iron Tail of Aggron, and avoided Magcargo's attempt to incinerate him, only to find himself alone in front of the Rhypherior.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The massive beast towered above him, seeming as tall as the skyscrapers to Boreas, who didn't even reach to its knees. It brought a massive, powerful arm down, almost crushing Boreas, and immediately after he had to dodge its other heavy rock arm. Boreas thought just keeping an eye on its arms was enough, but when the Rhypherior suddenly turned around, he saw too late that there was a huge rock on the end of its tail. With a bone-crushing impact, Boreas was launched into the wall by the heavy boulder. He fell to the ground and found his consciousness, as well as quite a lot of blood, quickly escaping his body. He tried to concentrate on staying awake, but his view became unfocused, he heard some unintelligible mumblings, and sank away into darkness.[/FONT]

 

[destinedjagold]

Another great chapter! It was a nice read, but I feel as though that this new chapter was a bit short than usual, but no matter.

Anyway, I tried quoting the new chapter of yours, but I noticed something...
This is how you write your fanfic...

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif][SIZE=3]Chapter Seventeen: The Endless City[/SIZE][/FONT]
 [FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif][SIZE=3][I]Present[/I][/SIZE][/FONT]
 "[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif][SIZE=3]Now hold on, my dear fellow," Octa interrupted.[/SIZE][/FONT]

I find it a hassle to do it like this, whereas you can just simple do it like this...

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif][SIZE=3]Chapter Seventeen: The Endless City
 [I]Present[/I]
 "Now hold on, my dear fellow," Octa interrupted.[/SIZE][/FONT]

See? Only one starting point and one ending point.
May I suggest you to do that, 'cause I feel like you're troubling yourself to put those codes in every paragraph... =/

 

[apenpaap]

^It seems the chapter is indeed short; fanfiction.net's story stats thingie says it's the seventh shortest chapter in the entire story (that's out of 46 chapters).

And the code thingie is funny, I hadn't noticed that yet. But don't worry, I don't manually write all those tags; I just write it in my text processor and copy-paste it into this forum. Apparently it creates enormously redundant tags in doing that.

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Eighteen: Liberated[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The first part of Boreas' consciousness that returned to him was a severe, throbbing pain over most his body, but especially in his left legs and flank. When he opened his eyes, an unfocused pattern of blinding white and deep black assaulted his eyes, and the severe physical pain in his body was joined by a splitting headache, dizziness and nausea. His mind was as foggy as London in 1952, and felt as if there was a Frenchman living in it.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A voice said something, but to Boreas it was as intelligible as an aphasic with a severe speech impediment standing on the other side of a wall speaking Czech while enjoying a mouthful of thick yoghurt with fruity bits.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Mmwuh?" Boreas mumbled while trying to get up, but he cursed "Mew's splanch!" when he found out that was a really bad idea as the pain in his legs increased from the sensation one might feel some seventeen hours after a car carrying two morbidly obese parents and their adorable baby daughter had driven over one's left foot to the pain one might feel if one took a particularly large, prickly cactus, dipped it into the juice of Naga Viper peppers, set it on fire, and inserted it into one's own ******. In addition to the pain intensifying, Boreas immediately collapsed to the left, on top of his left legs, which were now under his body in unusual positions and screaming with pain like a stereotyped housewife seeing a mouse and Edward Cullen at the exact same moment. He tried to get up, but it only worsened the pain and didn't work. But then someone gripped him, put him on his other side, and moved his legs to positions were their pain was much more bearable.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't move, my dear fellow," a voice spoke kindly, "you have broken both left legs, as well as several ribs. You shall only make things worse by moving."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas felt a lot better now that he knew that whatever was going on, at least Octa was with him. "Octa? What the hell happened? Why do I feel like a particularly large Rhypherior smashed me into- Hang on, that's exactly what happened, isn't it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Indeed. You have been unconscious for several hours, my dear fellow, and are likely feeling very poorly right now."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Really? I hadn't noticed that myself yet, thanks for pointing it out. But the battle! What happened? Did we win?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]There was a slight pause. "I'm afraid we didn't, my dear fellow."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't know if you can see it, but we are currently in cages in what seems to be some form of pokémon gaol of Team Plasma."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas' eyesight was indeed coming back, and now he could see he was in a small cage inside a white room with other cages in it. The cages were stacked up on each other in two stacks. "Then how did you get in here to help me?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Vines, remember."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh yeah. What about the others? Is everyone alright?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We are all present, albeit not in excellent condition. None of us is in as poor a condition as you, though."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What about Black?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We don't know his location and status. We were taken here by grunts as soon as we had lost the battle, and unfortunately we lost sight of Black and Bronius."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh damn," Boreas said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, as you so rightfully put it, damn," Octa said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So what happened to us being liberated?" Boreas wondered, "why are we in these cages instead of in some forest somewhere?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa snorted. "Methinks Team Plasma uses the verb "to liberate" in some novel context."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Finally, Boreas' splitting headache largely cleared and the dizziness stopped, and his eyes would finally focus properly. It seemed he was in the top cage of one of the two stacks of cages, and he could only see the top cage of the other stack, which contained Octa, who was covered in several large, ugly bruises and some deep cuts. If he very cautiously moved his head, he could see the upper half of the cage under Octa, in which Toxica, two of the leaves of her head partially torn off and with one black eye and several cuts, was looking around nervously.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'e alrigh', guv'nor?" a heavily accented voice asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Who's that?" Boreas asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Wotcher, name's Thomas."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hi, I'm Boreas."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A light, feminine voice spoke up. "And I'm February. It's nice to meet you."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'Ear choo." Thomas whimsically bettered her.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, it's nice to meet you two too. Is there anyone else here I don't know?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No guv, Febby an' I was the only tews what was 'ere in the Jimmy Nail until they tossed'choo in wiff us. 'Ear choo gots a bit of an unscheduled meetink wiff Team Plasma."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Did you?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Febby said, "Octa told us all about it."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas dragged himself to the cage's lock very carefully and started messing around with it to no end. "'Tis no good, my dear fellow," Octa said, "I already tried that."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas sighed frustrated. "Well, we can't stay here, we have to do something!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Calm down, guv," said Thomas, "I've been 'ere five days, ain't nuffink choo can do 'cept wait."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas shuddered at the thought of having to remain inside the cage much longer. "Wait? But I want to get out now!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Calm down, my dear fellow. You'll only hurt yourself. Why don't we talk for a while to pass the time, hmm?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Fine," grumbled Boreas, "What do you want to talk about?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa seemed to be unable to think of something for a moment. "Thomas, February, were you two stolen from the same trainer?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I ain't stolen from anyone, guv'nor," said Thomas, "I'm me own free pokémon, livin' in this here city by meself. Humans is incredibly wasteful, they is, an' they throws away enuff food for me to eat like a king each day. But a couple of days ago, I was just mindin' me own business when these Plasma dental flossers shows up an' captures me, takin' me 'ere. Febby showed up a day later."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I see. What about you, February?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They stole me from my trainer," Febby suddenly sounded very sad, "I was in my pokéball on her belt, and they pickpocketed me."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas heard sniffing sounds. "Hey," he tried to support her as best he could, "don't be sad, I'm sure she'll come rescue you. And so will Black, mark my words."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But what if she doesn't notice I'm gone?" Febby sounded panicky, "I'm so weak and have so little use in battle, maybe she doesn't even miss me!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Nonsense," Boreas said, "I'm sure she misses you terribly and is trying to find you right now."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]D'you think?" Febby sounded less sad.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Sure. And if she doesn't, she doesn't deserve you, and Black will rescue you together with the rest of us!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah," Thomas said, "Boreas is righ', Feb. She'll come for choo, I'm sure."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But there's so many of Team Plasma, even if she comes, she wouldn't stand a chance."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Capella spoke up. "Wars aren't won by numbers, little one. Even if they are outnumbered, they can still win by superior strategy and skill."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Shh! Someone's coming!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Two Plasma grunts entered the room with buckets of berries. "Right," the bigger one said, "Let's give this lot their food and get out."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They pushed some small berries into the cages. Boreas mimed the act of pickpocketing to Octa, who extended his vines to carefully look for the grunts' keys.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So how long do we have to feed this lot any more anyway?" the smaller one asked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A week I guess. They usually ship them to the castle on the 25th." He was feeding Boreas right now, "Don't think this Poochyena here will be much use there, though. Sage Bronius messed it up pretty badly, and it looks weak in the first place."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas growled at the man for his insult and for calling him a Poochyena.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The grunt turned around, and Octa retracted his vines just in time. "Huh," the smaller grunt said, "I wonder if they'll let us keep it if it can't work."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What's the use of a pokémon what can't work or fight?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It has nice fur. My wife'd love a fur coat."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A whole coat off that runt? You might get a hat out of it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Heh, I guess." they left the room, leaving Boreas feeling very insulted and worried for his skin's future.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm sorry, my dear fellow," said Octa, "I didn't manage to steal their keys. But if they really do intend to keep us here for a week, I shall have plenty chances to try again."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The thought of staying there for a week made Boreas shiver, but he tried to banish the thought by thinking about other things. "What's this castle they're going to take us to?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Nobody seemed to know that. "Dunno, guv," said Thomas, "but i' doesn't sound much like liberashun to me. Course, it didn't sound much like liberation in the first place, 'cos I was a free pokémon. Blimey, what's the bloomin' use o' liberatin' me from human masters if I don' even 'ave any?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes," said Capella, "and I'm not a captured pokémon either, I'm only travelling with a human. Anyway, Boreas, we should make sure your broken bones heal properly."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What d'you mean? Can't they do that in the pokécenter?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Not if it's been too long since they were fractured. Those machines can't do their work properly if scarring tissue has formed, you see, as it means your own body is repairing the damage, and if the machines would do that too it all becomes one big cross-repairing nightmare. So we should make sure the bones heal properly, or you could be cripple for the rest of your life. Or at least until you evolve."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Okay, sure, what do I need to do?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We need to make sure the two halves of the broken bones are touching each other in the right way. Octa, you can reach Boreas, right? Do you have any experience with this sort of thing?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm afraid I don't."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then I guess I'll have to talk you through it. By the way, putting the bones in the correct positions is going to be about as painful as breaking them was in the first place, so be warned.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas gulped. "Okay. So how do you know what to do with a broken bone anyway?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, when you get to be a hundred and seven years old, you learn a thing or two along the way, I guess."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]107?!" exclaimed everyone else in chorus.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, is that so strange? I know it's a bit older than most of you, but not that much, is it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes it is," Boreas said, "I'm barely half a year old, you're more than two hundred times as old as I am!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Wow, that's young." said Capella, "I guess it all depends on your species, other Dratinis would consider me relatively young. I could easily have nine centuries ahead of me."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Blimey," said Thomas, "That's quite some longevi'y chore kind 'as."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa set Boreas' bones in place with Capella's guidance. Boreas didn't know what he found worse: the pain or the annoyance at Lucius, who was sniggering to himself and making some very annoying remarks about the situation.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The only way they knew it was night was the light suddenly went out and the entire room became dark. Without any light everyone fell asleep very quickly. Everyone except Boreas, that was. He lay awake with a throbbing pain in his entire left side, while his right side was uncomfortable. He felt like changing position, but Capella had told him he should try to keep the same position as much as possible, as his bones could easily shift positions without a cast. Then he found out he was not the only one awake, as he heard Toxica's voice:[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa? Are you awake?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hmm? Yes, I believe I am."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, I can't sleep, and I wanted to ask you something..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I shall be happy to enlighten you with the answer."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I was wondering... What's it like to evolve?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It is... Well, 'tis... I say, 'tis quite difficult to describe."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Really? But you normally have such a way with words."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I do, don't I? Yes, I shall endeavour to describe it... It feels very odd indeed. It feels strange, but also pleasant... As if one is turned into a liquid and inserted in a different mold that one's body is changing form to fit. One can actually feel their body alter, and watch it happening from inside."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It must feel so weird... But after you have evolved and you have turned into this awesome new form... I mean, you became so much bigger and stronger... And more handsome... And more charming... And your voice became so... Sexy. Do you think when I evolve, I'll become amazing, like you? So strong and attractive?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]There was a bit of a pause. "I'm afraid you shan't. Your evolution possesses a notoriously unpleasant odour and is not exactly aesthetically pleasing."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh," said Toxica in a very disappointed voice.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas had to mask his laughing as a very odd snore as something very malicious in him cheered for Octa's obliviousness.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The week passed incredibly slowly, and yet it was not slow enough. To just lie still in the same cage was intensely boring, but Boreas was scared of whatever would happen on the 25th. Though none of them knew exactly what would happen that day, they all had the feeling that they had to escape before then if they ever wanted to see their trainers or freedom again. Octa had tried pickpocketing the grunts that fed them every day, but it seemed they just didn't carry the keys. No-one slept on the night of 24 July, as they were desperately trying to think of a plan for the next day.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa," said Boreas, "What if you just wrapped your vines around their necks and threatened to strangle them to force them to let us out?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm afraid that shan't work, my dear fellow," Octa replied, "I don't think I quite possess the strength to strangle a human, and-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Nonsense!" said Toxica, "you're worth a million of them!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, well quite. Thank you. But I'm afraid 'tis only in terms of intelligence, civilisation, and decency that I'm their superior."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And charm," Toxica interjected, "and good looks and-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look," Boreas interrupted her annoyed, "can we get on with planning our escape?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Quite," Octa said, "as I said, I probably don't possess the strength to actually strangle them, and even if I did or could make them believe I did and thus force them to open these cages, methinks they do not have the keys to our gaol at all, so I'm afraid it would be utterly pointless."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The way I see it, if they're going to take us somewhere, they'll either have to open these cages or carry them around. If it's the first, they'll have the keys, while if it's the second... I guess we could attack them while they're carrying us so they drop us, and then... I don't know, but it's better than cooperating. Lucius, you could spit fire at them, right?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, obviously. Don't be expecting no infernos, but I could probably hurt them pretty badly."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Great, and you could do that wave-thing you did when we first met you, Capella!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm afraid not. I'm not a water-type, so I can't just create the water. I can only manipulate what's already there. And I couldn't do a Thunder Wave without paralysing myself in this cage."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I could poison or paralyse them with my spores!" Toxica quipped.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Great! Febby, Thomas, could either of you do something?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]'Fraid not, guv," said Thomas, "we ain't no use tew choo unless we's out of these cages first. What'chore plan, anyway?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't have a plan, beyond improvising something to get us out of these cages. Can you think of something better?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, guv, chore plan o' improvisin' sumfink tew get out an' then scarperin's the best we can do."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I agree," said Capella, "and I think we'll all need our sleep tomorrow. Let's try to sleep the last few hours of the night so we may be alert to opportunities tomorrow."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After it had been silent for a while as everyone tried to fall asleep, Boreas heard a small voice say his name. "Boreas?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, Febby?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Do you think we'll make it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course we will," Boras lied, "I'm sure of it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]R-really? Because I don't want to go to this castle... I just want to go back to White."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't worry," said Boreas in the most encouraging tone of voice he could muster, "I promise you will get back to White."[/FONT]

 

[destinedjagold]

Ah... Another great read! Thanks for the new chapter.
Though the parts of explaining how awfully painful his situation a bit annoying... But it was still great.

Oh, and also...

"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course we will," Boras lied, "I'm sure of it."

Well, anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!

And oh, by the way...
This fanfic has...46 chapters!?
I'm going to enjoy reading this. :D[/FONT]

 

[apenpaap]

Ah... Another great read! Thanks for the new chapter.
Though the parts of explaining how awfully painful his situation a bit annoying... But it was still great.

Indeed, I was thinking that I might've overdone all those similes a bit.

And oh, by the way...
This fanfic has...46 chapters!?
I'm going to enjoy reading this. :D

No, I've written 46 chapters of it. The fic will have 77 chapters in total. So I hope you will indeed enjoy reading it.

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Nineteen: Rolling Rocks[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A few hours after they were awoken by the light turning on again, Sage Bronius and a grunt entered the room. It was the first time they had seen Bronius since they had become his captives, and he seemed to be inspecting them.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Decent specimens, I suppose," he said, "I think they'll put in some good work. But if- Dummkopf!" he suddenly shouted at the grunt, "You put the Servine in a normal cage? It has vines, you idiot! Get it a closed off, plastic cage!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Realising it was his last chance, Octa immediately extended his vines to Bronius and ran them through his pockets. Bronius, however, grabbed the vines with both hands and gave them a hard pull, thus smashing Octa into the cage's bars. "Next time your vines are out of your cage I'll tear them off."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa retracted his vines and rubbed his bruised face. Suddenly a different grunt from the one that had just left entered the room. "Sage Bronius! The ship has arrived!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Ah, gut! See to it that these seven are brought there as soon as the Servine is put in a plastic cage."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I will, sage. There was a bit of trouble, by the way."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Trouble?!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]N-nothing to worry about, sage. Just some stupid tourist with a Sinnoh accent who wanted to get on board and have us give him a tour of the city."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You told him to go away?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, but he tried to sneak on board anyway, so we knocked him out and threw him off the ship."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gut."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, but he was carrying something you will find interesting: some strange rock!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The grunt presented a piece of light grey rock to Bronius, who recoiled a bit as he took it. "That's odd... Ja, this will be interesting to research when I have some time."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After examining the rock for a moment, Bronius put it in a pocket in his brown mantle and walked over to inspect Boreas. "I don't think we need to bother with taking this one to the castle, it can't work." The door opened, and Boreas could hardly believe his eyes when he saw whom entered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Still looking at Boreas, Bronius pointed at the person whom had just entered. "You, have this Eevee put out of its misery."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Get away from my pokémon," said Black. Bronius turned around in surprise and Black punched him in the face. Bronius stumbled back, hit his head on Boreas' cage, and fell to the ground.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]All the pokémon cheered for Black as a brown-haired human female wearing a white shirt and blue shorts entered the room. "White!" Febby cheered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black cheerfully greeted all his pokémon and stole the keys, as well as the odd bit of rock, from the unconscious Bronius. He released them one by one, and Toxica and Octa immediately jumped into his arms, while Capella maintained a more respectable distance and Lucius just walked out of his cage without paying Black any attention. Boreas, finally, had to be carefully carried out of his cage by Black, who gladly hugged him.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm so glad you guys are here!" he said, "Don't worry, Nurse War can heal you all, I'm sure."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas saw a lithe, feminine Eevee with a bushy tail in White's arms and suddenly felt oddly dizzy and nervous. "You're an Eevee!" he exclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Febby looked around and saw him. "Oh! And s-so are you."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A bit of an odd silence fell between them as they both cuddled with their trainers.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Blimey, it's nice tha' choo got reunited wiff your trainers, but shouldn't we scarper? I ffink this dental flosser 'ere's wakin' up!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas turned to talk to Thomas, but when he actually saw him, he suddenly felt very cold and a veil of crimson hatred clouded his mind. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He was back in the forest, seeing his father's corpse and his mother about to die fighting the vicious monsters. He saw his brother collapse, his throat cut, and expected to die as the beast lifted its sharpened claw up to execute him.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Someffink wrong, guv?" the Zangoose asked as he stared at it with the sort of stare that usually only those who have died and returned as some form of vengeful ghost to avenge their murderers manage to pull off.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You..." Boreas hissed, his voice drenched with pure hate like a garment soaked with poison to assassinate a king, "You're a monster, you killed them..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What'choo talkin' 'bout, guv? I ain't killed nobody, it' chore china Thomas, remember?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You killed them! I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" Boreas screamed, and he tried to launch himself at the Zangoose, but a severe pain shot through him as his legs immediately gave way and he plummeted from Black's arms. Octa managed to catch him just before he hit the ground and returned him to Black's arms.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'LL GET YOU!!!!" Boreas screamed like a madman, "MURDERER!!!!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Blimey, i' wasn' me, wha'e'er i' was! Wha' 'appened to us bein' mates?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Calm down, my dear fellow, please!" Octa commanded, "Thomas did not kill your parents, he's our friend!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas came a bit closer to calmness, like Pluto coming a bit closer to the Sun during one part of its orbit. "It." Boreas seethed between clenched teeth, "Is. Not. My. Friend! It's a Zangoose, a murderer!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Arceus luv a Ducklett, I didn' make chore paren's kark it, guv, i' was a differen' Zangoose!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You're all the same!" Boreas hatefully seethed, "Your kind murdered them!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Please," Octa apologised, still holding Boreas, "accept my humblest apologies for this behaviour."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No problem, guv'nor. I unnerstan' chore anger, but i' wasn' me what kill 'chore parents, mate. An' I'm sorry for wha' other Zangeese did to choo. Just lissen to me voice, an' remember tha' I'm chore china."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]His logic managed to calm Boreas down a bit more. "I don't care, your kind murdered my family! You can't be my friend, you're my enemy!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look guv, can I help i' that I look like the Aris wha' kille' chore parents?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then this little argument was interrupted as Bronius had awoken and was sending out his pokémon. "I was merciful to you, boy, and let you live, and this is how you repay me? Fine, then it's your own fault! Kill them!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black, White, their pokémon, and Thomas ran for their lives out of the room into a long white corridor as the six mighty rock types started pursuit. Boreas and Octa were still in Black's arms.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My dear fellow," Octa said, "I thought you were over it."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, so did I!" Boreas snapped, "But I guess we were wrong, hmm?!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Look, you have to realise that this is highly illogical. Thomas didn't-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Logic be damned! That thing is a Zangoose, and I hate it!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gigalith and Omastar followed them through the door, while Rhypherior and Aggron didn't bother with that formality and just bashed through the wall with a single stroke. White threw five pokéballs to unleash a Vullaby, a Rufflet, a Darumaka, a Panpour, and an Audino. They all ran in a fighting retreat, except Boreas whom was still being carried by Black as he was unable to walk for himself. The other eleven battled as they ran off, only fighting to block the enemy's attacks or slow them down.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa launched a Leaf Tornado at the Omastar which was shooting its sharp spikes at them, Lucius spit fire at Aggron in an attempt to slow it down, Vullaby, Rufflet, and Capella launched themselves into the air to intercept Archeops attempting to fly over the others to attack Black and White. Rhypherior fired a massive rock at Thomas, who dodged it with unbelievable agility. Boreas caught himself hoping that the Zangoose's Detect would fail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't be like that, he thought, even if his species turned out to be a bit of a nasty surprise, it's Thomas, I don't actually want him to die.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, I do. It's a Zangoose, how could I not want it to die? They killed my family![/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He didn't, and I'll feel very bad if his Detect actually fails.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, I won't, I'll feel very good, because there will be one less of those bastards around.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They turned a corner into another long white corridor, and Aggron saved itself some time by cutting the corner through the walls and the room on the corner. It was now running in front of the other rock types, trying to kill Panpour and Octa with a single Iron Head. But Panpour was only scraped by the attack and Octa dodged it with a bizarre pirouette, launched himself into the air with his vines, and landed in Aggron's neck. In an excellent position to do so, he began draining Aggron's energy with a Mega Drain. The others overtook Aggron as it slowed down trying to get Octa off it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The rock types were a bit too large for the small corridor together, and actually destroyed quite a bit of the corridor's walls as they pursued Black and White, leaving a trail of destruction behind. A storm of sharp gemstones wounded everyone when Gigalith used its Power Gem attack. Capella tangled with Omastar as she fled, returning its water attacks and paralysing it with electric pulses at the same time.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They tried to make obstacles for their pursuers by pulling down lamps, throwing over drinks machines and cupboards, and opening doors in passing, but there was just nothing that could even slow down the powerful rocky creatures pursuing them, as they casually smashed through any obstacle as if it was a cardboard prop in a poorly budgeted sixties sci-fi show. Occasionally grunts would show up ahead to block the way, but Black and White shoved them aside without slowing their running.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Gigalith took a break from shooting gemstones at them and instead fired a barrage of sharp stones the size of a fist that missed all of them. However, it seems they were not even aimed at them, as they floated around further down the corridor, waiting.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Stealth Rock!" White shouted, "Go left!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They entered a door instead of continuing down the trapped corridor and entered some kind of large mess hall. It mainly contained cheap plastic tables, and quite a lot of them too. A few out of uniform grunts who were eating dinner looked very surprised at the group of humans and pokémon running for their lives, and then looked even more surprised when the wall collapsed and five powerful rocky creatures bashed through, destroying the entire hall. Cheap plastic tables were splintered en masse as rocks were shot into them and they were brushed aside in large groups by Rhypherior's powerful rock arms. Seeing the sharp plastic splinters flying about, Boreas had an idea. "The shards!" he shouted, "use them as ammunitions, aim for their eyes!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Vullaby made a Gust, which immediately sucked up a lot of shards, turning into a whirlwind of sharp plastic. She caught Omastar, by far the most vulnerable enemy, in it, and it came out with several of the sharp plastic spikes sticking out of its body. Archeops flew over, but was suddenly caught by vines coming from somewhere in the charging horde of rock types, and before it could respond Octa launched himself into the air by pulling on the vines, flew barely over the charging Rhypherior's horn, and landed just behind Black. He retracted his vines, whipped up a Leaf Tornado which gathered some splinters, and fired it at Omastar. In severe pain, with a lot of deep cuts and sharp spikes sticking from its soft body, the cephalopod retracted into its shell. There was no time to cheer, though, as the other four were still after them. They crossed the last part of the mess hall, jumping over a fallen table and ducking under a ray of sharp gems and entered a door leading to another corridor.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They dashed through the corridor, and by now Boreas was really starting to wish that he could walk for himself so he could make some meaningful contribution instead of just lying in Black's arms. Archeops was the first to catch up as the others started demolishing another corridor in an attempt to kill them, and it swooped over the battling pokémon, ready to grab Black in its claws, when Lucius made a large jump, landed on its back, and dug his jaws into its neck. With a screech the Archeops missed Black and struggled to get Lucius off it. Lucius suddenly shone with a blinding white light, and they left Boreas' view behind White. When he saw them again a moment later, Lucius had evolved to Houndoom and Archeops collapsed to the ground, unable to fly a creature heavier than itself around, especially with Lucius' terrifying jaws around its neck. Lucius was about to kill it by biting its throat, but changed his mind when Rhypherior came very close to crushing him and ran away instead, very fast now that his size had increased.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They were nearing the end of the corridor where a door blocked the way. Black and White kicked the door down together, and they entered what seemed like the reception room of an office building. The other side of the reception was a wall of thick glass with an unmoving revolving door in it. They ran for the revolving door immediately, but found it was closed and the glass of the walls and door was more than a decimetre thick. However, through the glass the Gym on the other side of the street was clearly visible. [/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What the..." Black exclaimed, "This is Gym Street!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They made a hideout right in front of the Gym?" White said.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]At that moment Aggron, Gigalith, and Rhypherior burst through the wall, covering the entire reception in rubble. As there was no way out, their only hope was to defeat their enemies. Rhypherior suddenly shot off a massive rock that exploded just before Black and White's feet, and the humans were knocked away, Boreas launched from Black's arms. He thankfully hit the ground with his right side, and immediately tried to see if Black was alright. He seemed hurt, but alive and busy trying to get away from the huge Rhypherior trying to crush him. The pokémon were mostly fighting Aggron and Gigalith in groups.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas saw Thomas rush forward at Aggron, slashing and kicking it in powerful Close Combat, and wounded his enemy pretty badly by dislodging the armour on its underbelly and cutting into its soft flesh underneath. The Aggron screamed in pain, but in Close Combat Thomas had neglected his defence, and the Aggron smashed into him with a calamitous Head Smash. Thomas was launched through the hall, and hit the glass outer wall above Boreas head-first. He fell down on the ground before Boreas, his neck twisted in an impossible angle, and Boreas heard him exhale his final breath and saw the light leave his eyes.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]N-no." Boreas stammered.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It's a Zangoose. He thought, don't feel sorry for it, it got what it deserved.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's rubbish! It's Thomas, and he didn't deserve this at all![/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A tear ran from Boreas' eye as he looked into his dead friend's eyes. Realising that this was hardly the time or place, he turned his thoughts to the battle, and saw how Rhypherior crushed Panpour into the ground.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hey, Aggron!" he shouted, bringing himself as close to a standing position as he could manage, "you killed my friend! I'll get you for that!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aggron looked up from his battle with Toxica, Darumaka, and Audino to give Boreas a mocking look.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Come on here, then, and I'll kill you myself!" Boreas shouted, "Just you and me, one on one! I'll get you!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Aggron ran at him, ignoring his current opponents, and charged at him with a Head Smash. Boreas grinned as his plan was working, until he realised he couldn't walk properly and thus couldn't get out of the charging behemoth's way. Black ran by, just before the Aggron, picked him up by the scruff of his neck in passing, and dived out of Aggron's way. It kept going and crashed right through the thick glass wall, immediately collapsing it into a million shards.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Now that they could get out, the surviving combatants rushed outside, into the street full of shocked people, but they were quickly followed by their enemies. Then Burgh, Bianca, and a long-haired human girl rushed out of the Gym and joined the battle.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Now that they had such a massive majority, the battle seemed to be going the other way. The enemies just weren't powerful enough to battle almost thirty pokémon at once. Then Bronius and his three pokémon that had fallen behind showed up in the ravaged reception.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Arceus in Halle des Beginns!" he cursed, getting his Xtranceiver, "Plasma, our hideout has been discovered! Initiate Operation And The Bandit!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The building itself exhausted thick black smoke, plunging the entire Gym Street, as well as most of the rest of the city, in smoky darkness that persisted for more than an hour and allowed Team Plasma to escape them, as well as caused quite a lot of accidents.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A few days later Boreas found himself alone at a simple grave on a grassy knoll. He wasn't sure what you were supposed to do at a grave and just sort of looked around nervously. That didn't really make him feel better, though. For some reason he felt as if he had to say something.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm sorry I hated you for being a Zangoose," Great, now I'm talking to a grave. "I... Shouldn't have acted like that. Your species shouldn't have mattered, and yet it did. I know you can't really hear this because you're dead," So why am I saying it in the first place? "but I'm sorry I acted like that in our last conversation, my friend." He looked around, "I hope you won't mind- I guess you won't, 'cause you're dead- But I hope you won't mind if I just pretend for now that my family is buried here too... They never had a grave, you see..."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He visualised their names on the grave. "Dad, Mum, I miss you... I remember the day you took me outside of the burrow for the very first time... I was so fascinated with finding out that there was so much more than just our burrow, and wanted to see it all that day, and you had to disappoint me by telling me it would take a bit longer than that..." the tears were streaming now, though he felt oddly happy at the same time, "...And then you caught me sneaking outside that night, Dad, and got very angry... But the next day, everything was good between us again...[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And Eurus, remember that time when you told us all you had found a monster, and then I wanted to see it, and we ended up running through the forest all day looking for it?[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Notus, remember that time when we were at the brook and you wanted to swim like the Duckletts, and the water made me all wet and miserable and we ended up being chased off by the Swanna? Odd how that seems like such a good time now, looking back.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And Zeph, remember when we scared all those Pidoves together and we felt incredibly cool for doing it? And that time when we found Nuvema and spied on the humans there and thought they would eat us?" he chuckled, "If only you could see me now. Humans are really pretty friendly... Well, most of them, that is.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I must be nuts talking to you like this, but it really made me feel better, you know. Farewell."[/FONT]



--


[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Note: You may be wondering where Black suddenly came from, how he met White, who she is, and other questions. Since this story is focused on Boreas and not on Black, I didn't switch to his point of view to show that side of the story (I considered it, though), but I can tell you what happened:[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After Boreas lost consciousness Bronius quickly defeated each of Black's other pokémon. When the grunts took them, Black struggled to get them back himself, so Bronius' pokémon gave him a good thrashing and left him unconscious in the street. He was found by a hobo who took him to the pokécenter, where he was quickly healed. Black decided he wanted to get his pokémon back on his own, seeing it as his duty as a trainer to them and so didn't ask for help. He went back to the street where they were taken from him, but only found that the building Team Plasma had come out of was an empty office building.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He started asking people around the city whether they had seen Team Plasma, and at some point met White, a trainer living in Castelia who had lost her Eevee, February, and asked her. White not only recognised the description, but when he mentioned that they were pokémon thieves was very interested, and they soon came to the conclusion that their pokémon had been stolen by the same group. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They tried to look for Team Plasma together, but Castelia is a big city and Plasma is good at hiding, so they were pretty unsuccessful. But when Team Plasma's ship arrived, they just happened to be looking for them at the docks, and thus saw Team Plasma and followed one of them to the backdoor to their hideout. They sneaked inside and, with the help of White's pokémon, managed to get all the way to Bronius without being seen.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As for why Bianca and Iris were in the Gym, Bianca was challenging Burgh and Iris, visiting Castelia, was the battle's judge when they were interrupted by the rather loud noise of Aggron bursting through the glass outer wall.[/FONT]

 

[destinedjagold]

OMG 77 chapters!? You're right, I AM going to enjoy reading this fanfic o'yours~! :D

Anyway, here's my comment about the newest chapter; Chapter 19...

---

The nurse's name is Nurse War? Seems a strange name for a nurse...

---

There's a part of the chapter 19 fanfic that goes: "He wasn't sure what you were supposed to do at a grave and just sort of looked around nervously. That didn't really make him feel better, though."

Is the story asking me about how would I feel, or was this supposed to be a "he" instead of "you"...?

---

The scene where he was literally talking to a grave was really touching and heartwarming and a bit sad...

---

The chase was really well-written! I loved how I can imagine the whole scene while reading it! :D

---

Black was wandering the city for a whole week...
That must've been pretty hard convincing one's self not to give up hope.

---

Ohhhhhhhh...
Another Eevee, and it belongs to White...
I'm a bit excited about what will Aqua react to that. :P

---

All in all, you wrote chapter 19 pretty well. It was a really really good chapter!
I seriously can't wait for the next one~!

 

[apenpaap]

OMG 77 chapters!? You're right, I AM going to enjoy reading this fanfic o'yours~! :D

Excellent, I hope you will.

The nurse's name is Nurse War? Seems a strange name for a nurse...

All the nurses so far (and all to come) have had strange names for nurses. I don't like to call them all Joy.

There's a part of the chapter 19 fanfic that goes: "He wasn't sure what you were supposed to do at a grave and just sort of looked around nervously. That didn't really make him feel better, though."

Is the story asking me about how would I feel, or was this supposed to be a "he" instead of "you"...?

Well, it was more like how "you" is often informally used instead of "one". So that sentence should technically read "He wasn't sure what one was supposed to do at a grave..."

The scene where he was literally talking to a grave was really touching and heartwarming and a bit sad...

The chase was really well-written! I loved how I can imagine the whole scene while reading it! :D

Thank you.

Black was wandering the city for a whole week...
That must've been pretty hard convincing one's self not to give up hope.

Yeah, it must've been really tough.

Ohhhhhhhh...
Another Eevee, and it belongs to White...
I'm a bit excited about what will Aqua react to that. :P

Heh, I think Boreas might have skipped over certain things when telling her the story.

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Twenty: Water and Ice[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Present[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So did you ever find out what they meant by "the castle?" asked Aqua.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No," said Boreas, "but from the way they talked about it, I think it's a place where they put the pokémon they claim to have liberated to work."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Did they literally say that, or did you have to read between the lines?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They didn't literally say it, but they did say we would be taken to this castle and talked about whether or not we could work, and it sounded like there was a relationship between those two topics."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I see," Aqua thought for a moment. "Well, it could be that "castle" is a place like the daycare you visited, and that you'd be taken there and expected to care for young pokémon..."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They literally used the phrase "What use is a pokémon what can't work or fight?""[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa interrupted him. "Whom can't fight."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, I know," said Boreas annoyed, "But the grunt used the word "what". And later, Bronius ordered me put out of my misery because my legs were broken. Does that sound innocent to you too?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua thought for another moment. "No, I guess you're right. There is certainly something fishy going on in that branch of Team Plasma."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That branch?" Boreas asked exasperated, "what about all the others?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, from what you're telling me it sounds like each of their sages commands a part of their forces. So perhaps Bronius is the only one who makes pokémon work for them, while the others may actually be liberating pokémon. There's a rotten leppa in every basket."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas was going to answer that, but then he saw they had arrived back in Driftveil and where just mooring onto the pier. "Oh, looks like we're back."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua stood up. "Well, I think I'd better be going."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, wait, don't you want to come with me? You could have dinner with us at the pokécenter." he pleaded.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Nah, I have to swim all the way back upstream and it's getting late. But perhaps we can meet up again tomorrow?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas' heart and stomach both made a double somersault as he realised she had just asked him on a date. "Yeah, great! Gladly. Sure! Where d'you want to go?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I've got an idea, but we can only get there by swimming. Let's meet right here on the pier tomorrow."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As much as he liked having a date with Aqua, Boreas didn't want to put his very limited swimming skills to the test. "I dunno... You've seen I'm not much of a swimmer."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]All the better... Then you can hold on to me..." she whispered. Then, with a wink, she jumped overboard. Boreas looked over the moored boat's edge to watch her swim away. She was swimming under water, so he only saw an incredibly fast moving shadow swim up the river. He watched her swim away into the distance, wishing he could swim along with her. Even after she had long disappeared from sight, he kept looking at the river dreamily until the Sun set half an hour later.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That evening Boreas was playing chess with Octa, and losing even worse than usual. It was mainly because he kept daydreaming about Aqua. He kept running over their conversations in his head, hearing her voice like a nightingale flirt with him, saw her wink at him, and felt the kiss she had given him whilst swimming.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa moved his bishop, and though Boreas hadn't been paying much attention to the game and had already lost all his small pieces and a rook, he immediately saw his chance and took it with his sole remaining rook.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Then he noticed Octa was grinning smugly. "I see. Your eyes are open, you can move the pieces, but the brain is on vacation with a certain charming lady, isn't it?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What d'you mean?" Boreas responded.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]This." Octa took the rook with his knight, "Check."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas saw that not only his king was in danger, but his queen as well. If he moved his king out of the way, the queen would be taken. Sighing, he moved his king to the only tile he could. "I see what you mean. A bishop for a rook and the queen is a very poor trade for me."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Grinning self-assuredly, Octa took the queen. "Do you think that's all you're losing here? This is checkmate, my dear fellow."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You're right. You win.."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Of course, now the boasting began. "Obviously my strategy was superior, my dear fellow, the fork I executed just before checkmate was a thoroughly masterful move, even if it hadn't led directly to my victory, as it gave you no choice but to sacrifice your queen."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It sure was, but I was just a bit distracted, you know."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You see, this is why looking ahead is so important in chess. 'Tis not good enough to be able to make a good move, you have to anticipate making that move ten turns ahead."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Alright, I was just a bit distracted. I think I'm going to go to sleep now."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Already? Don't you want to play another round?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, I want to be well-rested tomorrow."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Alright. I'd wish you sweet dreams, but I doubt you shall need my wishes to get those after meeting your new ladyfriend."[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After a night of pleasant dreams, Boreas awoke. Normally, he would go back to sleep pretty much instantly, but now he immediately stood up, got out from under Black's bed, and walked to the door silently, attempting not to awaken anyone.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My dear fellow, what on Earth are you doing?" a voice said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]What does it look like I'm doing?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It looks like you are sneaking away to go to your date at half past six."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Exactly."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't you think your ladyfriend might not have meant for you to encounter one another this early in the morning? She is probably still sleeping, like all civilised people do at this hour."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That's no problem, I'll just wait for her."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My dear fellow, we both know your patience is as capacious as an ant's bladder. And being enamoured makes one's judgement worse. Yes, you could go to the pier now and wait for hours, probably start feeling very miserable and doubtful that she'll ever show up, or you could just go back to sleep, go there in a few hours, and only have to wait for her for a short while. 'Tis your choice, my dear fellow, but I believe you know which option I would recommend."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas couldn't help see the logic in that and got back under the bed. "Okay, fine. But I don't think I can sleep at all... I'm so excited!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, I get that impression," said Octa.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I'm in love, Octa! I'm in love, I'm in love, and how could I not be? Y'know, I suddenly understand why people write poetry now. I thought they were just being whiny and overreacting, but now I see that when you're in love, you just have to express yourself somehow. I had no idea someone could be so madly in love with another person. And I completely take back what I said about that Byron-guy a few weeks ago."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Good. Lord Byron did not deserve your original assessment."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I wish I could just go to her right now... It's as if every fibre in my body is magnetically pulled to her, she's so incredibly lovely... I mean, when she smiles, her black eyes light up as if there were stars in them, and her ears point up a bit, and she gets these really cute dimples in her cheeks... Oh, she's so charming, and nice, and handsome... Her eyes, have you seen her eyes?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I believe I may have caught a quick glimpse of them."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]And her tail... Wow, her tail... And her nose is so pretty... And she actually kissed me yesterday!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Did she?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yeah, it was just on my cheek, but it felt as if time stopped and the entire universe was absolute bliss... If I was the kind of ice-type that's actually made of ice, I would probably have melted... Y'know, it feels as if I'm going mad, but in such a good way. I thought I had been in love before, with Febby, but now I know I was just attracted to her, that it wasn't even close to the real thing... Octa, have you ever been in love?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa answered with a snore, and Boreas realised that while he felt more awake than ever before, to everyone else it was still 7 in the morning and that he probably should shut up.[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]At nine, Boreas just couldn't stand lying under the bed thinking of Aqua any more, and was pining for the real one. So he got up, ate a minimal breakfast on the pokécenter's ground floor, and left to go to the pier. To his disappointment, she wasn't there yet. He sat down on the wooden pier and started scanning the river. It wasn't long before he got up and started pacing around the nearby shore. He started worrying she would not show up, that he would never see her again. Though he knew that fear was probably ungrounded, it gripped him like the cold, slimy, dead hand of a ghost and made him very nervous and afraid. Am I stupid? He wondered, it's just very early, no need to start hyperventilating.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But he wouldn't stop being nervous and wondering if she'd ever show up. Then he became nervous about how he would look if she did show up and tried to take a look at his reflection in the water. He walked back onto the pier to look at his reflection in the water. His reflection looked back with an intelligent gleam in its eyes and rather unkempt hair for a Glaceon. He sighed and ran a paw through his hair to make it look a bit better. Just his luck that he was one of the few species of pokémon who had a different kind of fur on their heads than on the rest of their bodies, and thus had to worry about haircuts like humans. He was blushing slightly, which mixed with the blue fur on his cheeks to give it a slight hint of purple. He remembered that Aqua had said he looked cute when he blushed, and immediately his cheeks turned a much clearer and more expressive purple. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly a splash of water hit his face and a gorgeous blue face breached the water. "Hi!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas made an involuntary movement in start, lost his balance, moved his legs by reflex to regain it, moved them off the pier and fell into the water. He surfaced clumsily next to Aqua laughing. "H-hi."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I see you fell for me." Aqua joked.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]How could I not?" Boreas said, "so, where is this place you wanted to swim to?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I thought you weren't so enthusiastic about swimming."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well," said Boreas, "I wasn't at first, but when you promised I could hold on to you, I liked the idea a lot better."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh did you? Well, if you want to hold me, you'll have to catch me first!" she said with a grin as she rapidly swam a few metres away and splashed some water into his face. Boreas swam after her, but just before he reached her she dived underwater and reappeared almost instantly on Boreas' other side. He tried to grab her, but she was gone again and Boreas felt a sudden yank on his tail. He turned around only to see Aqua looking innocently at the shore. When he tried to get her, she disappeared, reappeared on his other side, and splashed some water in his face.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Heehee, catch me if you can!" he tried to catch her, but she was gone again. "Here I am." she whispered in his ear.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He tried to catch her, but as was to be expected she was gone again. "Okay, you win! I can't catch you, you're too fast. Can you help me get to the shore? 'Cause I'm having trouble staying afloat."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Do you really think I'd fall for the same trick twice?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It's no-" a wave washed over his head, and he resurfaced coughing, "trick! I need your help!" he disappeared underwater.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As he struggled underwater, he felt Aqua nudge him up to the surface and immediately used the opportunity to put his paws around her. "Gotcha."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua chuckled. For a moment they just relished in the aquatic embrace. Then she said: "Yes, you did. But there's something you failed to consider: what are you going to do when I dive down to the bottom of the river?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hold my breath until you resurface, I suppose."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I can hold my breath for five hours, y'know."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I can hold my breath for five minutes. I hope. But by all means, dive. When I run out of breath, you can give me mouth to mouth resuscitation."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua brought a paw to her mouth pretending to be insulted whilst trying to stifle her laughter. "I would never! What kind of girl do you think I am?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I bet you would," he teased, "You would jump at an excuse to snog me."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I would not! I'd rather let you drown."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, you wouldn't. Besides, what about all those stories about Vaporeons rescuing drowning people?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Two things:" Aqua said, stroking Boreas' left ear gently, "firstly all those stories happen at sea, while this is a river. Secondly those are the good Vaporeons. I'm a bad one," she said with a wink.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, you are," said Boreas as they moved their faces closer together. Then he was suddenly underwater, zooming through blueness.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Pretty, isn't it?" he heard Aqua's voice, though he could barely see her.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Bllupp," he said. Then he mouthed the words "I don't know, I can't see underwater."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly the bubbles of air he had just exhaled when he tried to talk came back and clung to his eyes. After a moment of getting used to it, he actually saw everything in brilliant detail as if he was above the surface. It was indeed pretty, but he mainly had eye for Aqua, who looked even prettier than above the surface with the wet fur clinging close to her body and the movements her tail and finned ears made to help her swim. He was about to start pretending he was suffocating so she would give him mouth to mouth resuscitation, when they resurfaced.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, what did you think?" Aqua asked, her face close to his.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Absolutely gorgeous," Boreas said, staring deep into her black eyes. "So was the view, incidentally."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua chuckled. "Are you ready to go again?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Always," said Boreas with a suggestive smile.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They dived underwater once again, and Aqua made sure air bubbles clung around his eyes once again. The river was full of life, with many aquatic creatures and plants everywhere. They were swimming at incredibly speed, though Boreas thought he was bound to be slowing Aqua down. He hoped he was, as it would mean it would take longer to get to their destination, so he would get to hold her like this longer.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]After a few more dives at incredible speed, they resurfaced once again, near a small, white beach sheltered between rocks. "Look, this is where I was taking you. Barely anyone knows its existence, so we won't be disturbed."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Good." Boreas smiled.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Anyway, you've clung to me enough. Let's see you swim the last bit for yourself."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas pouted. "But I can't swim."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, you can." She struggled to get free from his grip, and managed to escape very quickly. He swam after her, and when he reached her found he already was on the beach. As they got onto the sand, Boreas shook himself dry.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You know," he asked Aqua, "I have been telling you quite a lot about myself, but I still know so little about you. Like, how did you evolve to a gorgeous, foxy Vaporeon?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I don't know how you evolved into such a cute Glaceon either. You first."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But I've already told you so much..."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Aqua blinked in rapid succession a few times and snuggled up to Boreas.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Okay, fine. You're very persuasive. I evolved quite soon after we escaped from Team Plasma, actually..."[/FONT]

 

[Cutlerine]

My life is less busy, and so I return. One final word on the Hamlet front: I am aware, of course, that there are numerous different ways in which you could interpret the scene, but the compassion one just doesn't seem that satisfying to me. Given what happens in the scenes immediately before and after, and Hamlet's behaviour elsewhere, I think that there are three or four more convincing ways to explain his failure to kill Claudius at that moment than compassion, with the 'hire and salary' argument being one. It's true he's lacking in resolve; that's probably partly why the Ghost reappears in the closet scene. But that amount of compassion for Claudius at this juncture seems... improbable, although of course it is possible.

Anyway, I liked this:

as cunning as a fox who used to be professor of cunning at Oxford, but has moved on and is currently working for the United Nations commission of international cunning planning.

The irony is, of course, that he's quoting Baldrick.

It's nice to see that it isn't all such plain sailing for everyone, too: you've included a fairly major loss, though I'm not sure that the ease with which everything was recovered was entirely convincing. It certainly dulled the impact of it a bit.

Furthermore, Octa made a surprising mistake here:

"They literally used the phrase "What use is a pokémon what can't work or fight?"

Octa interrupted him. "Whom can't fight."

'Whom' only refers to a person in the accusative tense. In other words, you can use it in structures like this:

He was startled by the sudden appearance of seven colossal men, four of whom appeared to be made of Marmite.

Or like this:

"Who is he?" he asked.

"Who is whom?" she replied.

Simply put, you should use 'whom' when someone is the object, and 'who' when someone is the subject. In this case, the hypothetical Pokémon is the one who can neither work nor fight, so you'd use 'who'. Octa and the grunt are both wrong.

Mmwuh?" Boreas mumbled while trying to get up, but he cursed "Mew's splanch!" when he found out that was a really bad idea as the pain in his legs increased from the sensation one might feel some seventeen hours after a car carrying two morbidly obese parents and their adorable baby daughter had driven over one's left foot to the pain one might feel if one took a particularly large, prickly cactus, dipped it into the juice of Naga Viper peppers, set it on fire, and inserted it into one's own ******. In addition to the pain intensifying, Boreas immediately collapsed to the left, on top of his left legs, which were now under his body in unusual positions and screaming with pain like a stereotyped housewife seeing a mouse and Edward Cullen at the exact same moment. He tried to get up, but it only worsened the pain and didn't work.

I get what you were trying to do here, but it was just too wordy. The joke is lost in the complexity of the sentence; simplify it, and it would be quite funny. You also mean 'stereotypical', not 'stereotyped'.

There were a couple of mistakes with the speech punctuation again, but you said they got sorted by Chapter Twenty, so I won't mention them here.

The back-and-forth between Aqua and Boreas is good, though. It's funny and entertaining - but since it's almost entirely based around fairly well-known and cheesy jokes, it gets tiresome quite quickly. I'd suggest trying to balance the jokes with some slightly more serious dialogue; as it is, their relationship doesn't quite feel real.

However, for all that the story still interested me enough to bother catching up with the chapters I'd missed, so it must be going well. I quite like Capella, though I'm not sure if you explain quite where she came from; she sort of pops up from nowhere. It's a bit like Toxica: you think of a good character, and they appear without much explanation. At least the reason why Capella was still with the team was explained, though, which shows the story is improving.

All in all, there are a few things I'm picking up here and there, but not too much. It's good work; keep it up and aim ever higher. For my part, I'll try and keep up with chapters better in future; I await the next update.

F.A.B.

 

[apenpaap]

The irony is, of course, that he's quoting Baldrick.

Heh, indeed he is. I love to throw in a Blackadder quote on occassion, and having Octa quote Baldrick, a character that is almost entirely an opposite of him, seemed quite an amusingly ironic idea.

It's nice to see that it isn't all such plain sailing for everyone, too: you've included a fairly major loss, though I'm not sure that the ease with which everything was recovered was entirely convincing. It certainly dulled the impact of it a bit.

I had considered doing a chapter from Black's point of view, showing the difficulties he had with getting his pokémon back, but in the end I decided not to, as this story is really about the pokémon, not their trainers. Besides, I realised I hadn't done much with Aqua and Boreas in the present, so I gave them a chapter instead.

Furthermore, Octa made a surprising mistake here:

'Whom' only refers to a person in the accusative tense. In other words, you can use it in structures like this:

Or like this:

Simply put, you should use 'whom' when someone is the object, and 'who' when someone is the subject. In this case, the hypothetical Pokémon is the one who can neither work nor fight, so you'd use 'who'. Octa and the grunt are both wrong.

We reach a short time where I really overused whom here. It looks really silly and stupid in hindsight, especially the bit you pointed out where Octa erroneously corrects Boreas. Fortunately, I think this silly tendency to overuse whom will not last very long. I think it'll take to chapter 25 at most.

I get what you were trying to do here, but it was just too wordy. The joke is lost in the complexity of the sentence; simplify it, and it would be quite funny. You also mean 'stereotypical', not 'stereotyped'.

Aye, I've had multiple comments on that bit already, stating that I overdid the similes. And I agree, of course.

There were a couple of mistakes with the speech punctuation again, but you said they got sorted by Chapter Twenty, so I won't mention them here.

Well, I thoguht it's after chapter twenty, because I went on vacation between 20 and 21, and I read a lot on vacation and I think I remember myself analysing the dialogue structure of the books I read on vacation and deriving the correct dialogue punctuation rules from them, but it could be a few chapters later.

The back-and-forth between Aqua and Boreas is good, though. It's funny and entertaining - but since it's almost entirely based around fairly well-known and cheesy jokes, it gets tiresome quite quickly. I'd suggest trying to balance the jokes with some slightly more serious dialogue; as it is, their relationship doesn't quite feel real.

I get what you mean, and later on there will indeed be quite a lot of more serious material between them, but so far they're mainly just fooling around and playfully flirting with each other. Though in hindsight I should've probably had some more seruious dialogue early on indeed (Chapter two or three already could've had Aqua's reaction to Boreas telling about the death of his family, for example. That's kind of a missed opportunity that I'll have to remember so I put it in when I rewrite the story).

However, for all that the story still interested me enough to bother catching up with the chapters I'd missed, so it must be going well. I quite like Capella, though I'm not sure if you explain quite where she came from; she sort of pops up from nowhere. It's a bit like Toxica: you think of a good character, and they appear without much explanation. At least the reason why Capella was still with the team was explained, though, which shows the story is improving.

I'm glad you like Capella, especially considering I didn't have much of a grip on her character in her first few chapters (before 18, basically), because I hadn't really thought much of what her personality was like (an error I tend to make a lot, though it is mainly noticable with Capella and Diego, IMO, while in most other cases I managed to cover it up fairly well.)

All in all, there are a few things I'm picking up here and there, but not too much. It's good work; keep it up and aim ever higher. For my part, I'll try and keep up with chapters better in future; I await the next update.

F.A.B.

Thank you for the in-depth critique once again; while simple praise might be more fun to read, your well thought-out critical comments are much more valuable and useful to me, and I hope you'll keep them coming.

[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Chapter Twenty-One: Premier Insect Artist[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Past[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas tried to ignore the pain in his legs as he walked through the street, following Black to the Gym. It had been six weeks since his legs were broken, and Nurse War said they were healed as well as they ever would be. But the fact was, despite the nurse and Capella's cares, his legs hurt a lot when he walked. He tried not to let anyone notice, though, not wanting the Gym battle delayed even more than it already was. He was sick of Castelia after so many weeks there and just wanted to defeat Burgh and go somewhere else. Though he tried to hide the pain he felt with each step, it seemed he was not entirely successful.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]My dear fellow," said Octa, "do your fractures continue to ache?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, not at all!" Boreas lied, "I'm just... Uh... Annoyed by the warm weather. Yeah, that's it. Bloody August, eh?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It so happens August has always been my favourite month of the year, actually."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Really? Why?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Well, for one thing, I like the heat and the long daylight. For another, it was named after a namesake of mine."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]No, it isn't," Boreas said with annoyance, "if it were, you would be named August or the month would be named Octavianus."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Actually, it is. August was named after a Roman named Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus, whom transformed the Roman republic to an empire through sheer cunning and charisma and became its first emperor. Then he changed his name to Augustus, which is Latin for majestic or honoured, and changed the name of the month Sextilis to August."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So it's not really named after a namesake of you, but after someone named Augustus."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Didn't you listen to what I said? It was named after-"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, I heard what you said, but obviously he stopped being a namesake of yours when he changed his name to Augustus."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]But that is not the point, is it? The point is he originally bore the same name that I do."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, but the month was named after him after he changed his name."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa was going to say something, but they had arrived in Gym street. The complete carnage that the skirmish with Bronius had caused in the street had been completely cleaned up, the only trace of it was that the former Team Plasma building was now enveloped in construction scaffolding to rebuild the glass outer wall. Black paused in front of the Gym, which looked like an ordinary building, except for the large red and green sign above the door that said "BurGH'S gaLlErY" in hideous purple and yellow neon letters. Black stopped and talked to his pokémon.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We're at a type disadvantage here, as Burgh uses bug types and two of you are grass types, including Octa. That means I'll have to rely on the rest of you. Despite the disadvantage, I think we can defeat Burgh."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He started to open the Gym's door, but a voice said:[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black, wait up!" White was running at them.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Hi," Black turned his attention to White as Boreas nervously greeted Febby and then started staring at the hideous sign instead, "come to watch me beat Burgh?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A mischievous smile spread on White's face. "Well, that too."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black responded with a grin of his own. "Oh? For what else?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You'll see."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yellow everywhere and a rancid, sweet stench assaulted their senses as they entered the Gym. Bizarre surreal painting hung from the honey-covered walls, and some of the walls were actually made from only the honey. Insects buzzed around. Black and his pokémon looked at it with mouths hanging open with surprise. After a few moments, they started to realise Burgh wasn't there.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Looks like Burgh's not here. Can't blame him either, this place stinks!" Black exclaimed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh's voice sounded. "I'm here, actually. You just have to find me!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You have to walk through that wall of honey there," White said.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]You can't be serious."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I am serious."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]This is what you came here to watch, didn't you?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yep."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black arched an eyebrow. "So did you walk through the wall of honey when you challenged the Gym?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]White blushed. "Yes, I did. And stop imagining me drenched with honey."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Octa sniffed the air haughtily. "Walk through a wall of honey? Me? Are they completely doolally?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]It is rather undignified," said Capella, "but it won't stick to us too badly. I would be more worried if I had fur."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That is not the point, is it?" Octa responded, "the point is that it's disgusting, and that I shall look like fifteen types of **** when I come out on the other side. And I shall smell like the decaying corpse of a beekeeper who forgot to put on his protective suit and was stung to death inside his bees' hive. Besides, Black already indicated he does not plan to use me in this battle."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Come on, don't be such a big girl's blouse and just walk through the wall."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I am not doing it. It doesn't befit a gentleman."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I've got an idea," Toxica said blushing, "Octa, why don't you and I go through the honey wall first so no one sees you, and then I can lick you clean." she was blushing so deeply now that it looked as if she was about to burst an artery.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]There'll be no need for that," Boreas said gladly, "there are holes in the walls small enough for us to fit through, probably made by the bugs. Black's the only one who has to walk through the honey."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]They all sighed relieved, except Toxica, who gave Boreas a foul look. After crawling through the holes, they saw Burgh painting something that seemed like a Dugtrio turned inside out flying out of the mouth of a bizarrely proportioned and partially molten Mr. Mime. They heard a blobbering sound and saw something that could most accurately be described as a honey elemental emerge from the wall of honey. It began clawing at itself and shaking honey off until it took on a vaguely anthropomorphic shape. Finally Black managed to get his face mostly honey-free.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh!" he said, stepping towards the painting artist as big blobs of honey fell from him, "I've come to challenge you. And also to tell you you're insane, what's with the honey walls?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh turned around in surprise. "Oh, hello. I didn't hear you come in. You're that guy who was running around in Pinwheel Forest with Lenora, right? The one with a colour for a name."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Black."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Right, that. So you've come to challenge me? How do you feel about using three pokémon each?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Alright, I accept!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh didn't do anything and Black just stood there rather awkwardly, dripping honey. After about a minute of nothing happening, he scraped his throat. Burgh didn't respond. After another while, Black said:[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]So... Shall we get to it?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh looked at him as if he didn't know Black was there. "To what?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The battle?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Battle?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, the Gym battle! Three vs. three, no switching out, that sort of thing!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Excellent idea! Go, René, bug him out!" he threw a pokéball, sending out a Whirlipede.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius, start with Ember!" Black commanded.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius ran at René, spitting fire. Though the Whirlipede looked like a plump, compact, and slow creature, he immediately proved this impression wrong as he began rolling around at high speed, making Lucius' flames miss easily. He tried to steamroll over Lucius, but the canine proved himself fast as well despite his large size. They tried to hit each other for a while, both failing. Lucius managed to get the first hit in, singing his opponent badly with the flames he spit. Lucius was now aiming his flames quite a bit ahead of his opponent, anticipating where the Whirlipede would be once the flames got there., and he was managing to hit the circular centipede time and again. To prevent being hit again, René began moving very erratically, not only managing to dodge Lucius' flames, but actually managing to hit him. The centipede suddenly hit Lucius from the side, knocking him down, and immediately proceeded to roll right over him, going back and forth several times. Suddenly there was a burst of flames, the Whirlipede squeaked loudly, and it stopped rolling and fell over sideways.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius got up, looking pretty bruised and with some wounds caused by the Whirlipede's spikes. "Yeah, and how did you like that?! Get me another opponent now!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh returned René to his pokéball and sent out the Dwebble whom had lost her shell in the battle with Gorm, now with a brand new shell. "Snick, my switch was turned on! Go, Max!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas was just left speechless by Burgh. "...I don't even want to know what's going on with your 'switch'..."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]The Dwebble immediately began proving her worth as a rock type by firing parts of her rocky shell at Lucius. The Houndoom was hit by several of them, but retaliated by spitting flames at Max. The Dwebble retreated into her shell for protection and shot more rocks at Lucius. Lucius ran at the withdrawn Dwebble and grabbed her shell in his jaws, lifting the entire smaller pokémon up. Boreas saw him strain to bite through it.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]A dampened laugh came from inside the shell. "Go on, break your teeth on my shell if you like!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Lucius stopped trying to crush the shell in his jaws and instead breathed fire straight into the shell's opening. He threw the shell away, and Burgh returned Max to her pokéball. Lucius howled victoriously.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Good job!" Boreas cheered, "You're on fire!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Don't encourage him, my dear fellow," said Octa.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Oh, bugger! Could it be time to bug out of here?" Burgh asked, throwing his third pokéball, "No, no, I refuse to be squashed!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Salvador the Leavanny appeared from the pokéball. "Ha!" Lucius barked, "a grass type and a bug type in one, this is my lucky day! I'll toast you for appeti- AARGH!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]With movement as fast as a lightning bolt, Salvador had rushed forwards and given Lucius two deep, long cuts with his scissors. Lucius tried to retaliate, but Salvador kept giving him more cuts, not giving him a moment to respond, before he collapsed with a patchwork of red cutmarks over his body.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Okay Capella, it's your turn!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Leave it to me," said Capella. She slithered into the battlefield and nets of electricity were launched from the jewel on her head in an attempt to slow Salvador down by paralysing him. But the Leavanny jumped aside with startling agility to dodge the Thunder Waves. Capella kept trying, but because of his quick movements she couldn't hit him. Then Salvador jumped forward and started cutting Capella, but unlike Lucius she was prepared for it and managed to break the rapid slashes by Slamming Salvador with her long body, hitting him like a whip. The Leavanny was knocked away, lost his balance and fell on his bum, and Capella reacted immediately with another Thunder Wave to paralyse him. It nearly hit him in his helpless condition, but again he was just too quick and was only scraped by the electric web. Giving Capella another X-Scissor in passing, Salvador got out of range of her Slam and began firing sharpened Razor Leaves at the draconic pokémon. Though the leaves didn't seem to do too much damage, there was little Capella could do about it. Salvador was just too quick, especially at a distance. The leaves were leaves lots of little cuts to go with the big cuts made by the earlier attacks when Black realised there was nothing Capella could do and forfeited. "Capella, switch out for Boreas."[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas didn't feel too good about going up against Salvador with his pained legs, but he stepped forward, clenching his teeth at every step. He was about to start doing something when all of a sudden Salvador was in front of him and there were two long cuts in his skin that hurt like extremely long papercuts. Though the cuts were not very deep, this being a friendly battle, they still hurt like blazes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas didn't give Salvador a chance to start cutting at him like he did with Lucius and immediately jumped into him with a Quick Attack, knocking the Leavanny back. He sunk his teeth into an arm, but was immediately thrown off and received a few more slashes that, combined with his poorly healed legs, were rapidly weakening him. He realised he needed to think of something very fast if he was going to win at all, and ran for the wall to buy some time. He got a nasty cut on his tail as he crawled into one of the holes to the other side. As he tried to think of something, Salvador began cutting big slabs of honey out of the wall to get to him. As actually getting out of the other side of the hole would probably be considered a forfeit, Boreas had no choice but to go out the same way he came in. He waited a moment until Salvador had slashed, then ran out, just before the slash of his other scissor, Tackling the Leavanny and than ran off as fast as he could, which was not very fast courtesy of his legs. He didn't have a plan yet, but was mainly trying not to get cut up now. He ran back, ran past Black, who looked very nervous and was looking in his backpack for some chewing gum. Salvador caught up with Boreas as he was running past Black, and launched himself at the Eevee at full speed, but Boreas flattened himself to the ground and made a sudden turn despite his legs protesting. Salvador missed him, and with a tearing sound he cut Black's backpack open instead. A rain of berries, maps, papers, and other things showered Boreas. Among the other things, he caught a glimpse of the piece of light grey rock Black had stolen from Bronius about to hit him on the head, and before he could react, it hit him. He shuddered, feeling it was icy cold to touch.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Suddenly the icy coldness of the rock melted through his skin and filled his entire body. For one second it felt unbearably cold, then he experienced the tactile equivalent of looking at a picture of two silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a picture of a white candlestick, and felt very comfortable with the cold instead. In the surprise at the cold moving into his body, he hadn't even noticed yet that his body was shining a bright, white light. He was filled with a deliciously icy feeling and a feeling of power as he was growing with amazing speed. His brown fur was rapidly turning an icy light-blue, and hit tail grew longer, more pointed, and less bushy. His legs increased in size, making him feel like someone standing on stilts.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]As the frigid, but pleasant sensation filled him, he realised two things: the tourist Team Plasma had stolen the chip of icy rock from must have broken it off the Ice Rock of Snowpoint City, and also that he wanted to be a Glaceon. Being a Glaceon didn't just seem cool, but now that he was rapidly turning into one he felt he would love to spend the rest of his life as one. His collar was retracting, and instead longer dark blue hair was sprouting on his head in a haircut formed of three diamonds of hair, while two strands of it grew very long. The light finally subsided, and Boreas was reborn as a Glaceon.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Everything around him suddenly looked tiny, and despite the cold feeling inside him, the air around him seemed to have been heated quite a lot. The pain from the wounds he had received and from his poorly healed legs was completely gone. He drew his first breath with his evolved body, and felt hot air enter his lungs and frigid air leave them.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Splendid, my dear fellow!" Octa cheered.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Wow, you evolved!" Black said, "Get him with... Let's try Icy Wind!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Icy Wind?" Boreas mocked, noticing his voice's altered sound, "I can do better than that! I'll use Blizzard!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Salvador had watched the evolution patiently, but now that the battle had recommenced, he ran at Boreas to X-Scissor him again. Boreas felt all kinds of powers inside him he never had before. He tried making the air around him colder, and immediately it was as if coldness rushed from nowhere, using his body as a conduit, and chilled the air around him. Then he made a Blizzard by doing the same, but this time really putting effort into making as much cold as he could. Frigid, howling, ferocious cold blasted into his body and then into the air around him, immediately freezing all the moisture in the air around him and making a Blizzard so cold even Boreas found it painful. He tried to stop more cold from coming in and tried to command the Blizzard to move to his opponent, but neither of these things happened. Instead icy waves of cold kept flooding through Boreas and fincreased the severe Blizzard.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Boreas felt incredibly cold, and began to panic as he realised he couldn't stop the cold rushing into the world through his body. Though he couldn't see more than a metre ahead in the howling Blizzard furiously raging around him, he heard the creaking of the freezing honey walls, the splintering of the Gym's windows, and the screams of agony as the bitter cold hit everyone else in the room. By now, droplets were forming out of nowhere as the air was beginning to condense. Then Boreas' eyes froze over painfully, making his visibility even lower. He tried desperately to stop the out-of-control Blizzard, but it was far too powerful for him. He was in agony, every part of his body rapidly freezing in temperatures usually unseen between here and Saturn. An idea came to him, and he immediately stopped trying to stop the cold, instead he tried to create even more and send it off onto the world with as much force as he could muster.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]His set-up worked: instead of remaining close to him, the cold now had a lot of energy and blasted away into the world, making the Blizzard expand hugely, far beyond the Gym, and in doing so it became so diffuse that it became little more than a cool breeze after unleashing snow and ice on the streets near the Gym. Now that the Gym was approaching terran temperatures again, Boreas found it much easier to stop more cold from coming in and stopped the Blizzard. Then he collapsed with effort and the cold. He soon felt a gentle hand helping him up.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Are you alright, my dear fellow?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Yes, I think so." Boreas said, rubbing his eyes to thaw them, "I just got a bit overconfident and let it get out of control. What about you all?"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]We are fine. Black returned us to our pokéballs immediately to protect us. So did Burgh. The humans don't look too good, though."[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]S-s-s-s-sorry." Black stammered at Burgh. His lips were blue and he was shivering all over. The honey still hanging onto him had frozen into hard yellow crusts which were shattering and falling off as he moved.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]Burgh began laughing, which made some icicles fall from his hair. "Oh b-b-b-b-b-bugger! I lost, b-b-b-b-but what a cool way to w-w-win!"[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]W-w-win?" Black asked stupefied. The pools of liquid air lying on the ground had almost completely boiled away by now.[/FONT]
"[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]I returned Sa-Sa-Salvador t-to his pokéball, didn't I? That's a forfeit, isn't it? But losing to you doesn't bug me because your insectibly- I mean incredibly- strong! Here, take this Insect Badge!"[/FONT]
–
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]That evening Boreas stepped in front of the pokécenter's mirror to get a good look at himself. He saw a Glaceon in the mirror, and looked behind him to see if there was one standing there before he realised he was the Glaceon. It was bizarre to see the Glaceon copy his every move exactly. It was going to take some getting used to this new form. He could recognise his own face in the Glaceon's after a while, but it took some effort. He was also still not used to feeling like a giant. He had grown by almost a factor three, and everything suddenly looked tiny.[/FONT]
[FONT=Berling Antiqua, serif]He gave the mirror a long look. He did look pretty cool and elegant now. He looked at the hair on his head and wondered if it would stay in the haircut it was currently in or if he would have to take effort to keep it like that himself. He ran a paw through his hair to test it, and already his haircut was coming undone. That got him to wonder about the long strands of hair that hung from his head almost to the ground. He had nearly tripped over the things twice already. The hair in those things seemed to vastly prefer staying together, and separating hair from it was pretty hard, and even then it seemed to automatically reattach itself to the long hair thingie. Boreas wondered if the hair would grow back if he cut it off. He was really going to have to find a word for the hair thingies. Fringes or bangs just didn't seem to fit. Headtails sounded like the most appropriate word for them.[/FONT]

 

[destinedjagold]

I was expecting a new chapter since I was gone for a day and a half, but meh, I guess I'll just have to wait.

Anyway, here are my comments to the two latest chapters: chapters 20 and 21~

----------

Chapter 20 comments...

"Oh, she's so charming, and nice, and handsome... Her eyes, have you seen her eyes?"

Handsome...?

Anyway, Chapter 20 was very nice to read, a bit short, but still good. I like the part where Aqua suddenly appeared and made the Glaceon fall to the water. xD


Chapter 21 comments...

"The leaves were leaves lots of little cuts to go with the big cuts made by the earlier attacks when Black realised there was nothing Capella could do and forfeited."

I didn't understand that part in red... =/
and also...

"...and hit tail grew longer, more pointed, and less bushy."

I think this would have been a "his" instead of "hit", right?

Anyway, it was still a great chapter to read! A cool way to win, it really was! :D

 

[apenpaap]

I was expecting a new chapter since I was gone for a day and a half, but meh, I guess I'll just have to wait.

Anyway, here are my comments to the two latest chapters: chapters 20 and 21~

----------

Chapter 20 comments...

"Oh, she's so charming, and nice, and handsome... Her eyes, have you seen her eyes?"

Handsome...?

Is there something wrong with that word that I'm not aware of?

Anyway, Chapter 20 was very nice to read, a bit short, but still good. I like the part where Aqua suddenly appeared and made the Glaceon fall to the water. xD


Chapter 21 comments...

"The leaves were leaves lots of little cuts to go with the big cuts made by the earlier attacks when Black realised there was nothing Capella could do and forfeited."

I didn't understand that part in red... =/
and also...

The second iteration of 'leaves' is supposed to read 'leaving'. Hope that helps.

"...and hit tail grew longer, more pointed, and less bushy."

I think this would have been a "his" instead of "hit", right?

Yes.

Part Four: City of Light
Chapter Twenty-Two: 8/7
Present
"Talk about a surprise," said Aqua.
"Heh," Boreas chuckled, "you're right. One moment I was an Eevee, not expecting to evolve yet for a while, the next I suddenly was a Glaceon, and the moment after that I nearly froze Black, Burgh, and myself to death."
They were lying on their backs on the beach, enjoying the moderate heat the winter Sun provided. Boreas couldn't resist occasionally throwing a quick glance at Aqua's belly button. "I guess it's my turn to talk now," said Aqua.
Boreas shifted positions to lie closer to her. "I guess it is."
"Well, first of all, I take it you know how an Eevee evolves to a Vaporeon?"
"By Water Stone, right?"
Aqua started laughing. "You really haven't spent much time with your own species, have you?"
Boreas felt ashamed and a bit insulted. "No, I haven't, but Eevees do evolve to Vaporeon by Water Stone, I'm sure of it."
"That's the answer a human would give, and it's not entirely wrong." Suddenly she looked troubled, "I hope someone did tell you about the Pidoves and the Combees?"
Boreas blushed like mad and looked away. "Y-yeah."
"Oh, good, just checking. Now, I suppose I'll have to tell you how Eevees normally evolve. Usually our evolution is based partially on our personality and partially on adaptation to the area we live in. An Eevee living in a forest will usually evolve into a Leafeon and an Eevee with a fiery temper will often evolve to a Flareon. Since an Eevee who is with humans doesn't live in nature, they usually don't evolve by themselves when they are with a trainer, unless it's to Umbreon or Espeon, because we don't interact with nature enough. But items like a Water Stone or an Ice Rock contain a lot of energy that is similar to that found in a natural habitat but much more powerful, enough to induce an Eevee to evolve in an instant."
"I didn't know that."
"It's no problem," said Aqua sweetly, running a paw through his hair, "when you have spent so little time amongst your fellow Eevees, I guess it's only natural that you know little about them."
Boreas gently rested the back of his head on Aqua's soft, blue stomach. "Now tell me how you evolved into such a comfortable pillow."
Aqua giggled and pretended to be insulted. "Did you just call me fat?"
"I would never! I'm just saying you're a very comfortable pillow. Nice and soft and warm."
"If I actually was fat, I would smother you right now."
"Well, you're welcome to try anyway."
Aqua seemed to consider it for a moment. "Perhaps later. I'll answer your question first. Evolution was a surprise to me too, though not nearly as much as it was to you. Most of my family consists of Vaporeons, you see, as we lived near the river, and so we usually spend most of our time in or near the water. Occasionally someone evolves into something else because they don't like the water or have a strong personality that leads them to another evolution, but usually we become Vaporeons. I never doubted I would become one as I already was a brilliant swimmer when I was still an Eevee, and I would often swim and practically lived off fish alone."
"And you also have a personality that befits a Vaporeon," Boreas added, "very elegant and lovely and charming. But what happened on the day you evolved?"
"I was a bit older than you when you evolved. I was about a year old, so pretty much an adult. I had swum down the river pretty far from my family's burrow to meet my bo- to go catch some fish, when a pair of hunters saw me and-"
"Hunters?"
"You know, humans who hunt pokémon."
Boreas wasn't sure he understood. "Hunt them for what? To catch them and train them? For the pokédex?"
"No, to kill them."
Boreas couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?! Kill pokémon? That can't be true, surely they're just trying to catch them to train them or to sell-"
"They killed my sister, my brother, my grandmother, several cousins, and a friend."
"Oh. I'm sorry-"
"Don't be, it's not your fault."
"But... Why? Why would they do that?"
"In our case it's either because of our fur or-"
"Our fur?!" Boreas spat, "That's disgusting! What kind of monster would want to wear another creature's skin?"
"Or," Aqua continued, "for fun."
Boreas was revolted. "Fun? That's even worse! These people consider murdering a living creature fun?"
"Yes, they call it a sport."
"But that's..." Boreas searched to find the right word for it, and eventually settled on "...Barbaric."
"It certainly is. But that doesn't stop them, I can assure you. But as I was saying, a pair of them saw me while I was fishing..."
–
Past
Aqua swam through the clear river, looking for Lothario with her head just above the surface. Though they had agreed to meet here, she didn't see him, but knew he was somewhere as she smelt his odour on the water's surface. She wondered if he was hiding and called out sweetly: "Lothario? I'm here..."
He didn't respond, but he had to be hiding nearby from the strength of his odour. She took a look under water, but couldn't see anything that looked like an Eevee. She grinned. "I know you're hiding, so there's no point in trying to startle me."
Something rustled in the thick shrubbery on the water's edge. "Alright, then I'll come find you!"
She began by looking in places she knew he wasn't hiding to make him think she didn't know where he was. She searched at a small group of rocks, then between the reed. Then she dived underwater and rapidly swam to the shrubery where she knew he was hiding. She jumped out of the water and ran into the shrubs. "Ready or not, here I come!"
She was expecting to see Lothario's surprised face as she ran into the shrubbery, but instead she saw something horrifying: a Machop was handing Lothario's limp, bleeding body to two large humans carrying rifles. She cried in fury and charged the Machop, knocking it over in surprise, and she tried to reawaken Lothario as the humans exchanged surprised remarks. Lothario was no longer breathing and had a bloody hole all the way through his chest. Tears of rage filled her eyes as she looked up to those responsible, and looked right into two gun barrels aimed for her head.
Two deafening bangs were followed by a vicious, searing pain in her tail and her right hind leg, as she jumped away immediately, but not quite fast enough. She limped back to the water with all the speed she could muster, fighting tears of rage and pain. She dived into the water a moment before she was grabbed by the Machop, and tried to swim away as fast as she could. But she found that with only three legs to her use, she was much slower than she normally was, and her tail was providing her much less speed than it usually would. She looked around to see why, and gagged when she saw the top two-third had been shot off.
A shot scraped her head, leaving a painful path of burnt skin so she dived underwater to avoid the shots. She tried to swim further, but could see the humans on the shore walking along with her, rifles aimed. The water around her was slowly turning red while she ran out of breath rapidly. She was determined though not to go back to the surface. She refused to give them the pleasure of killing her, preferring vastly to drown. After several minutes her vision began fading, first going black and then white, so she closed her eyes. She realised drowning wasn't so bad after all. After the initial unpleasantness of running out of breath, it felt a lot like falling asleep. Though she had always liked the water and the river, the water had never felt as soft on her skin, nor had she ever felt as if the river was a friendly, living creature before. She didn't even feel the pain in her leg and tail any more. She floated underwater for several minutes, expecting her breathing reflex to kick in at any moment making her die of inhaling water, before she realised something very strange was going on: she had been under water for at least seven minutes, and had spent most of that time thinking she was about to die.
She opened her eyes, and to her surprise her vision had stopped going either black or white, and was back to normal. Much better than normal, actually, considering she was under water and should actually be seeing everything vague and unfocused, but instead she saw everything perfectly clear, much clearer even than she normally would above the surface. She went to rub her eyes in amazement and recoiled when she saw her paws had turned blue. A quick look at her body showed the rest of her had done the same, and that her tail was back, much larger and more powerful than it had been before. With a sense of euphoria she realised she had evolved to a Vaporeon. She swam a bit and was startled at the speed she could effortlessly make. For a moment she was overjoyed, but then she rememberer how Lothario had just been murdered, and a grim determination sunk in.
She looked at the surface and saw the two humans and their Machop putting their rifles away and walking off, apparently convinced she had either drowned or escaped. But Aqua wasn't going to let them get away. She tried to make a wave to practise. At first she failed, but then it was almost as if she melted into the water, becoming one with it, and when she tried to make the wave again, this time doing it as if the water was a part of her body, a minor wave formed. The wave calmly washed over the feet of one of the humans, leading him to curse and the other to laugh. Then Aqua, still feeling as if the river was a part of her in a bizarre way, summoned all her rage and hatred and put it into a gargantuan wave. The river responded furiously, foaming and waving like the sea during a storm, and a massive wave of fury bashed on the shore, washing the humans and their Machop away in a single wave. The river returned to its bed, taking the horrid creatures with it. Aqua could feel them swimming around pathetically and swam back to the surface and closer to them to make sure they knew why this was happening before she drowned them. The look in their panicked faces as they saw her almost moved her to pity them, but then she saw Lothario's corpse floating around. Her entire being filled with hate and disgust for the humans, she extended her will into the water and pulled them under, creating a powerful downward current that made it impossible for the murderers to stay at the surface as they were sucked to their grave on the river's bottom.
–
Present
"...After one of them had drowned, though, I felt pretty guilty about killing them, so I let the other one and the Machop go. But after that, I realised they would be looking for me, prepared for taking on a Vaporeon with electric weapons or harpoons, so after a visit to say goodbye to my family and warn them about the hunters, I swam down the river for about a week before I found a nice burrow on the riverside, not too far from here," she concluded.
Boreas felt as if he should be feeling a lot sadder after that story than he was, but it was hard to feel anything but delight as Aqua was stroking his hair while he lay on her stomach. "I'm so sorry."
"Look, don't be. Don't pity me, after all I don't pity you either, even though you've lost your family entirely. There just doesn't seem a need for it, as you sound like you cope with it very well and have a fun life now. The same has happened for me. I'll admit I was very sad about Lo- about having to leave my family like that and very lonely at first, but it's been six months, and it's not as if I can never see them again either, I occasionally swim upriver." She chuckled and stopped stroking through his hair. "There, you're all done."
"With what?"
Stifling her laughter, she said, "Why don't you take a look at your reflection?"
Reluctantly Boreas got up from his extremely comfortable position to take a look at his reflection in the water. An androgynous-looking Glaceon with braided hair and girlish pigtails looked back. Aqua couldn't hold in her laughter any more and burst into roaring laughter as Boreas ashamedly undid the pigtails.
"Aww, you looked lovely," Aqua laughed, "have you ever been mistaken for a girl?"
"No, have you?" Boreas responded, "How did you do that without opposable thumbs anyway?"
Aqua winked. "It's a secret. Now, why don't you come back here and tell me more?"
Boreas obliged to the first part, sitting down in such a way that as much of his side as possible was touching Aqua. "Tell you more about what? I've already told you how I evolved, and I don't have much more compelling evidence against Team Plasma."
"Just continue your story. I like it, and you have an attractive voice."
"I do?"
"Yeah, you should try singing sometime."
"I did, actually, at the pokémon musical in Nimbasa."
"Well, then start with telling me about that, and we'll see where it goes from there."
"Okay. I'll start by telling you about the other things that happened in Nimbasa, as you'll find some of it very interesting. The day after the Gym battle and my evolution we set out for Nimbasa. Unfortunately Route 4 is almost entirely a desert, and I'm an ice type, so that didn't work out too well."
"I wish I'd been there. I could've at least kept you wet."
"As tempting as that sounds, that desert would've been hotter than the Sun's surface with you there as well. As it was, it was far too warm there for me, so Black returned me to my pokéball for the journey. Which was, in fact, the very first time I'd ever been in there."
Aqua's ears raised curiously. "What's it like?"
"It's..." Boreas searched for the proper adjective. "Bizarre. Surreal. You're essentially turned into pure energy. You're only semi-conscious, it's like a sort of state between being awake and sleeping, like a dream. Or like being really, really pissed. You're in a sort of dream world, where your thoughts don't seem to be your own and they seem to be all around you, like in a dream. There's no up, down, left, right, ahead or back, and yet every direction is all of those things at the same time."
"Oh, that clears it up," Aqua drolly said.
"I can't really describe it otherwise. You don't really have any senses in there, as they have all been turned into energy along with you, and yet a part of your mind is aware of what's going on outside, and you can see, hear, and touch your thoughts that are all around you, a bit like in a dream. In my case, my awareness of the outside world was usually nothing interspersed with an occasional battle."
Aqua seemed lost in thought. "Doesn't this worry you, though: when you are turned into energy when you get put in a pokéball, you're essentially destroyed. The exact composition of your body is stored, obviously, but I wonder if you don't actually die when you are put in a pokéball. Then, when you're released, the pokéball uses the stored information to build another you, and since its brain is the same, so are the memories, so you never know, but essentially the original you was killed when he got inside the pokéball and the Boreas I'm talking to now didn't come into existence until the moment he was released from his pokéball, not realising he had just been born because he had all the memories of the original Boreas."
"Yes, I have thought of that. And there's unfortunately absolutely no way to prove or disprove it."
"It's scary though, innit? Especially the thought that you would never know. If you do actually die, it would happen too fast for you to realise what happened and you'd be gone before you knew the answer, and if you don't die you can never be sure you didn't." She shuddered.
Boreas was feeling pretty spooked now as well, so he cautiously draped a paw around Aqua's shoulder to see if she would object and to reassure both of them. She responded by leaning closer to him. "I know, it's a scary thought. But essentially it's a bit of a form of paranoia to assume the pokéballs kill you when you enter them and you come out as a copy. And I can hardly go through life assuming I was born on 10 September either and that I'm a copy of the original me, whom died not even eight months after he was born because he was put inside a pokéball."
"I guess you're right. But it's still a pretty disturbing thought."
"It certainly is. I'm not planning to be put into another pokéball any time soon either. But let's move on from disturbing thoughts."
"Great idea. It's chilling me to the bone. Which brings to mind another question: how come you're so pleasantly warm? I would've thought a Glaceon would be icy cold to touch."
"You mean like this?" Boreas lowered his body temperature below zero for a moment.
"Eep!" Aqua yelped before Boreas restored his body temperature to normal so she wouldn't move away from him.
"We can control our body temperature, and can channel it to use in various ways, as most of our moves are based on it. But if I'm not doing that, I am still a warm-blooded mammal like you, so then my body is warm too."
"Well, don't do that again, okay? I don't like to feel as if I'm snuggling with a snowman. I like you better warm. So continue telling me, skipping the creepy metaphysical questions that pokéballs raise."
"Okay. Black let my out of my pokéball when we were approaching Nimbasa and the climate was getting less harsh..."

 

[destinedjagold]

Is there something wrong with that word that I'm not aware of?

Well, Boreas was talking about Aqua, wasn't he?
Or is the word "handsome" can also be applied to females as well?
English isn't really my first language, so I always think that if we're talking about how good-looking females are, we use the words: pretty, beautiful, lovely... while the word "handsome" is applied to males only, right?

Anyway... I also wanted to ask you about this new chapter...

Chapter Twenty-Two: 8/7

What does 8/7 mean?

----------

Anyway...
My comments for the new chapter~
First, let's go to the errors I spotted...

---------

"but then she rememberer how Lothario had just been murdered, and a grim determination sunk in."

I think this would have been a "remembered", right?

---

"Black let my out of my pokéball when we were approaching Nimbasa and the climate was getting less harsh..."

I think this should have been a "me", right?

----------

Now onto my thoughts of this new chapter...

To me, it felt like it was yet another short chapter. But I still enjoyed reading it, and imagining the scene as I read through it.
I find it really sad about Aqua's past. Humans are indeed freaks or nature, eh?
I also find it funny that one is expecting ones's self to be already dead, or just waiting to die, but it turns out, he/she isn't going to die yet... :P
I also like the part where you made it very natural for Eevees to evolve in different factors, instead of the human-way-to-evolve-Eevees-with-stones-or-happiness ways.

And as always, I am looking forward for the next new chapter~ ;)