This thread is pretty gay.

[Shiny Bidoof]

'Dumb' originally only referred to as another word for mute, or people who could not speak. So really it's a very similar situation, where a derogatory term for a minority has become the norm and gained a new definition.

But people rarely use "dumb" as a way of saying "mute" these days, whereas it's common for homosexuals to be called "gay."

Essentially you're using a word for a person's sexual orientation to describe things that are unpleasant. It sort of connects the two and gives the more common use of the word some really negative connotations.

When you describe things negatively as "gay," it sends the message "gay is not a good thing, it's a bad thing." That's why so many people are offended when others use it.

What this guy said. I find it insulting, but only when I'm called gay. I'm personally an advocate of sending all the homosexuals to Triton.

Why is being gay a bad thing? Personally, I don't care if someone thinks I'm gay. I'm very secure in my sexuality.

 

[KogiTheFox]

Using the word "gay" when you mean "stupid" is insulting. I don't care if you didn't mean for it to be insulting. If you wanted to say something was dumb say it was dumb, otherwise you're looking pretty dumb in my eyes.

Really, if you are at all close to someone who is gay you won't use the word except to mean, well, gay. You just won't. That one time you did use it in front of them it was really, really awkward and you realized it was the wrong thing to say even before your friend or relative even called you out on it. Because you're a considerate person, right? I mean, for you to use "gay" to mean "stupid" when you know someone who is gay makes you terribly insensitive.

To be honest I just think everyone is culturally oversensitive. I'm gay and don't care if someone uses it as a derogatory term around me; it's not awkward in the least. Hell, I say f****t all the time, you don't see my boyfriend getting offended.

 

[Nick]

Why is being gay a bad thing? Personally, I don't care if someone thinks I'm gay. I'm very secure in my sexuality.

Because people who are concerned with being called gay aren't secure in their sexuality and thus get overly offended when someone calls them gay.

Such concerns are generally found in secretly insecure individuals and small-minded jocks (I say small-minded because obviously not all jocks are like that) found in high school who often have hypermasculine behavior to discern people from thinking and saying things like that about them.

 

[Shiny Bidoof]

To be honest I just think everyone is culturally oversensitive. I'm gay and don't care if someone uses it as a derogatory term around me; it's not awkward in the least. Hell, I say f****t all the time, you don't see my boyfriend getting offended.

It's different if you know the person is cool with it though. There are a lot of people who aren't.

A lot of my friends are cool with it and some of them say it, but personally I still avoid using it simply because of the implications.

Because people who are concerned with being called gay aren't secure in their sexuality and thus get overly offended when someone calls them gay.

Such concerns are generally found in secretly insecure individuals and small-minded jocks found in high school.

It's such a weird cultural anxiety we created, like being homosexual is somehow lesser, so we must avoid seeming homosexual at all costs. If you put it into perspective it just makes no sense.

One of my personal pet peeves.

 

[Nick]

It's such a weird cultural anxiety we created, like being homosexual is somehow lesser, so we must avoid seeming homosexual at all costs. If you put it into perspective it just makes no sense.

One of my personal pet peeves.

I think it more-so deals with the male ego than anything else. Not only does it relate to people being comfortable in their sexuality, but people being comfortable with their gender identity and secure in their masculinity as well. I haven't seen any females with concerns like that, which is why I think it deals more with the male ego than anything else. Probably because lesbianism is generally associated with butch in society rather than femininity. Not sure why that is either, but I think the two relate somehow.

 

[Shiny Bidoof]

I think it more-so deals with the male ego than anything else. Not only does it relate to people being comfortable in their sexuality, but people being comfortable with their gender identity and secure in their masculinity as well. I haven't seen any females with concerns like that, which is why I think it deals more with the male ego than anything else. Probably because lesbianism is generally associated with butch in society rather than femininity. Not sure why that is either, but I think the two relate somehow.

Lesbianism has sort of been normalized more because of the male attitude towards it, it think. There's still a lot of hatred towards lesbians, but the cultural climate has changed a bit more because of the way men represent lesbian and bisexual women in the media.

Not that this doesn't come with its own host of problems (it's common for men to look at lesbians and bisexual women through the lens of sexual fantasy and treat them as such).

As for the gender identity concept, historically claims of homosexuality have been used to pressure men and women into traditional gender roles, which is where a lot of the stereotypes come from (examples: "you're baking cookies? Don't be gay, dude. Women should bake things, not men" or "You like Sarah McLachlan? Gay!"). Homosexuality has lost a lot of its stigma, so the stereotypes are also fading, but they're still noticeable in our culture and media.

This also work vice-versa, where being gay is bad because it is not part of your gender role.

My theory anyway.

 

[vaporeon7]

To be honest, when I was a lot younger, I did use gay as a synonym for bad. Now, I have grown out of that completely, and think it is wrong of people to use it that way. Besides gay people are the funnest to serve at work, they always tell the funniest jokes and have really funny stories.

 

[Alice]

Nah, I don't find f** offensive either... or really anything at all for that matter. I mean, even if it was used as an insult, I wouldn't really care. =/

 

[Livewire]

I personally would not be upset if a derogatory, racial or sexuality-based epithet was thrown my way. But then again, there really isn't one for straight white people, and they (white people of social privilege) tend to be the ones throwing out the hateful dialogue anyways. But I can certainly understand why people would be offended by such terminology.

 

[Toutebelle]

I try to avoid the word "gay" being used as an insult, though I have occasional slips.

 

[Phantom1]

Am I truly insulted?

No.

I'm not the type to personally take things like that to heart. If it was meant to be insulting, yes, but otherwise, eh.

Do I find it rude?

Yes.

I don't like people to use it. I can deal with it occasionally, but if someone is using it all the time I will mention it in hopes they watch their language. I have no power over others, but common courtesy, you know?

(This is coming from the person who irl swears every other sentence. I am working on that thought.)

Do I feel some people can be oversensitive about it? Yes.

Ableism is a thing, but trying to be overcontrolling with it is more annoying than the people using it.

 

[Cerberus87]

I don't mind it, since I mostly use it when I see a cheap tactic or bad luck in games and sports matches.

But yeah, people use it as a synonym for "stupid" because being gay (as in homosexual) has a bad connotation, so the word gained a bad connotation and became associated with things you don't like.

It's like calling a ****** someone who isn't gay but is generally an ass.

 

[F1ygon]

When my friend calls me gay, I turn it around by saying "I'm happy because you're wrong and you're the homosexual"

Of course you can call something that was supposed funny (Joke) gay like

"I like big wet boats with big decks" something like that...

 

[Magic Christmas Lights]

Whenever I use gay, I usually use it to mean "corny." I actually have never had a person tell me to stop using it in that context, even when I use it around people who I have heard talk to people about how they shouldn't use that word. I guess it sounds a little less offensive in that context.

I don't really mind it, although sometimes people just say the word so... forcefully and passionately. I also hate it when someone says a sentence and they obviously mean it to be funny because of their "comical" use of the word gay.

 

[Kanzler]

I think this issue really shows us the beauty of language: that it is simply what we make of it. Although I wouldn't call something gay for the sake of offending others, I don't feel the slightest of regret when someone else uses the term - other than the fact that it's socially unacceptable and I tend to tune towards what society wants.

What's funny is that homosexuality is still the stigma, and it's evident from the responses that people give when being called gay. I would say that the word doesn't even matter - as long as being homo is stigmatized, there's always going to be another word used in a derogative manner.