To capture a Suicune

[Nnaemeka]

Chapter 1-Why?


"Mom! I'm going out, now!" Josh ran out of the house at full speed.
"Ok, but be careful!" she shouted out of the laboratory, where she was working. Josh was excited. Today was the day his mother had finally allowed him to catch a wild pokemon of his own. She had also given him one of the new prototype 'elemental' pokeballs. They would allow him to catch a pokemon of a certain type, for instance this one would allow him to catch an electric pokemon. His mother only got these to test out with because she was a professor. Josh smiled to himself and paused. His black hair, which was slightly spiked up, shone in the sunlight. Thanks to his taller than average height, he scanned the area for any pokemon he might want. Then his eyes looked to the river and he remebered.
* * *
It was going to storm that day, yet despite his mother's warnings he had gone out to play there. He had been messing on the rocks by the side, jumping from stone to stone, when he suddenly slipped and fell in. Normally the river is shallow, but due to the heavy rain and winds, it had become deep and wild. He struggled , thrashing and kicking, but he still sank under. The darkness closed in and he died. Suddenly there was a blue light. Franctically, Josh surged towards it. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring into Suicune, it's eyes aglo. It had brought him back.
* * *
That was the reason why. Why he had to capture Suicune.



Lemme know what you think!!
The newest writer on the block, Nnaemeka

 

[icomeanon6]

Before I write anything else, I'd like to welcome you to the forum! OK, pleasantries out of the way, time to review.

One of the earliest and most common mistakes that a new user can make is rushing into writing their first fic. I'm sorry you had to learn this lesson the hard way, but a handful of paragraphs does not make a chapter. We're all anxious when we first start posting, but make sure that you put enough time into your story before posting any of it. There are a lot of things you could do to lengthen out this part of the story, you could describe the landscape more, you could lengthen his fleeting death, etc. Before writing more of your story, I'd spend some more time on this chapter. Nothing hurts a fic like rushing. Also, it might be worth the time to read this guide that Thesis wrote to help writers of OT fics: https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=140933. Reading it now might save you the trouble of making bigger mistakes later on.

Keep it up, but make sure your story gets the time that it deserves!