Your view on suicide.

[Tetrakeet]

Well, touchy subject but..I guess I can at least comment. I think suicide is..sad. It's "legality" varies in different countries so I really don't want to say "wrong" or "right" to avoid the risk of hurting anyone's views on the subject, but it saddens me when someone who has a bad life takes their own life. The reasons for it are quite large- sad, dishonored/honored, depressed, no hope, dying from a terminal disease, etc. so I'm not going to judge here.

I had a friend who was constantly threatening to kill himself and it's not fun. Every little thing set him off too. He's never actually done anything, but the social stigma he brought with him mad my life very difficult. I would even go as for to say he was being "selfish" for using his own life as a way to get what he wanted (more attention). It frustrated AND made me hurt at the same time, when a simple disagreement (or even when I corrected him when he misunderstood something) in opinion would cause him to go off and start the threats. He did this with all his friends including his own family as well. *sigh* I can't handle the stress of someone threatening to kill themselves. I hope no one in my family never gets like that. I eventually had to cut ties with him (he's alive and well by the way) because it was making my life miserable. I don't know, am I wrong for "giving up"? I don't think so, although I can definitely say I said and did EVERYTHING in my power to let him know I cared. It just wasn't enough though, the process just never stopped.

So yes, suicide saddens and can also frustrate me because it leaves me in a powerless position. I have a helpful nature and don't like to see people suffer, but there is only so much one can do. If the victim is completely hopeless and love and care doesn't work, there is only medical attention that can (hopefully) help.

 

[droomph]

I don't think suicide is cowardly, stupid or anything. I don't think it's courageous at all. Honestly I can understand why someone would want to commit. Whenever they wake up, they see nothing to look forward to. They just wake up wishing they were dead. When someone is depressed, this is my point of view, they feel they have no one to talk to. They're alone. They put up walls, letting no one get in them. They act like a zombie every day, when they get up they just do the same thing every day. I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I'm sure I have severe clinical depression. And that's what I feel every day. And honestly I can for sure understand why anyone would want to suicide. Because they feel there's nothing to look forward to anymore. That no one cares about them, that they're worthless, their depression gets so severe that they can't think clearly. They can't think rationally.

So they think suicide is the only option. They think everyone would be better off without them. And then they commit. And everyone gets upset, some people grieve over their death. It's just the opposite of what the committed thought. Honestly I don't think suicide is the right option, not at all. I may be 14 but I've had thoughts of suicide many, many times. I won't say if I've attempted it or not. But.. suicide is not worth it. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, saying everything will get better because a severely depressed person can't see that. They don't think anything will get better. They'll think they will be depressed forever. But, they won't.

Anyways, I don't think suicide is right. I don't think it's stupid, courageous or cowardly. I just don't think it's right.

I felt exactly like this once. I understand what it's like to go through the pain of not having anything to look forward to.

But you know what? I just told someone who could help. I told my mom, "You know, I don't feel like doing anything...but I want to do something." something along those lines.

She then helped me get medicine (the "other way out") and for the next week, whenever I felt worse I just told myself, "help is on the way. Stick it out. You can do this!"

so my point is, please don't give us lip service. We want help, not assurance. Not that assurance is bad, but we also want to be helped too. We know things will get better. We've heard it a thousand times. We don't need to know that again. But the journey to happiness, unaided, is much too big for us to bear on our own.

 

[Star-Lord]

People who judge others for committing suicide clearly don't understand the gravity of their situation. That's all I can say. It's a difficult topic and my heart goes out for people who feel that way and were pushed to do that to themselves. People who pass judgement so quickly onto others as a result are callous and should be ashamed. That's not right.

 

[Kurui]

Actually suicide is selfish. EXTREMELY selfish. One of the most selfish things a person can do.

No, I'm not cold. No, I'm not mean. I'm just saying the God's honest truth.

Suicide is when YOU get wrapped up in YOUR problems and can't see a way out. YOU are absorbed in YOU. I don't care if it's mental, physical, emotional, etc. The point is that YOU are thinking about what benefits YOU in the moment. What YOU want. What escape YOU "need". How terrible YOU have it.

Guess what? There are people worse off than YOU that live with their problems every day.

As a Christian, I know that God loves everyone. Only HE has the right to give and take away life. YOU have a purpose and YOU are loved.

Depression feels bad. Yes it feels like there's no point, life is not worth it, etc. but that doesn't make it true. If depression is medical physically (such as a severe hormone imbalance), and suicide occurs, I don't exactly see it as suicide - I see it as a real medical issue like a disease that finally overcame the person. For drugs, well the person shouldn't have been on them. That's selfish in itself. But for the emotional depression, when you allow it to break you down so much that you shut off from everyone and just think about yourself, no. Just. No. It's highly selfish, wrong. Nothing classy about it.

I was suicidal once, even being a Christian, although it got so dark at that time. I'm a victim of extreme physical and emotional torture as a child. I also was a very ill child, with many physical presenting symptoms that even kept me near coma some days. My parents nearly killed me with making me take medication that didn't belong in my system to exploit me, telling me what to say to a psychiatrist so that they could think i was mentally disabled and draw a check for them to blow. Intentionally poisoning me, making it look like a pharmacist's fault and winning money in court cases. Beating me constantly black and blue, kicking in my ribs, making me lie and telling me they'd kill me if I said anything against them. Locking me in rooms, closest, etc. Performing rituals on me. Chasing me with knifes forcing me to try to sneak a weapon under my pillow in case they try to come kill me in the night. I had to always wear long sleeves and pants because the cuts and bruises were so bad i was afraid someone would find out and then tell my parents and I'd die. My face has gouges scars in it that you can see if you look up at close ups of my face where nails have been dug into my face, and glass shards. I was told I'd never have anyone love me, that I was the reason for every problem in the family, that if they could get away with it they'd murder me because I was demon possessed, that the family was only a family without me in it. All of this and more from when i was tiny (my first memory being when i was around 4 or 5 years old).

I got tired of waking up, dealing with it, trying to keep up in school, back home. I was so scared when the school bell rang for school to get out. I'd have a panic attack every day. Summers were hell. By 7th grade I was ready to end it, even knowing there's a God that loves me, and being taken to church every Sunday and Wednesday. Even WITH a God, I was ready to end it all. No matter how many friends I had in school that loved me, there was a hole that was there for a parents' love, and it ate at me all the time. CONSTANTLY. NEVER ENDING.

And we all know teenagers are some of the most unstable creatures, my hormones were already whack and raging due to PCOS, plus being a teen and the pressures there, and then home life. So my friend Sarah (she came to school with scars on her wrists and arms from cutting and it'd KILL me to see it) and I made a suicide pact at school that we'd go home that night and kill ourselves. It seemed like a GOOD IDEA. Just to be GONE from it. So i went home and later that night I got a knife and I was really just in a mindset to do this thing.

But then I just stopped. And I just really thought. Because I always question things. And my thought was "Why me? Why am I here?". And I just had this answer in my head suddenly, and I didn't know it was God at the time but I think it was and basically (to sum up) it said, "The answer will come to those that ask and wait." And I thought about that for a minute and I really just wanted to know. And then i thought about Sarah and I started crying and crying because it just always upset me how hurt she was and that she probably would NOT get to know that answer. I thought about my other friends, all who had problems who loved me, who did their own thing, who would find their own answer there. And I knew that if they were affecting me, how much would my leaving affect THEM. And already I felt selfish and guilty, but also curious and loved for a God that stayed with me already through this. And, having to know the answer, I just went to bed, to wait.

And it took a long time for me to get an answer. But i started finding inspiration in things. Mostly video games that had stories of characters much like me, in situations like mine, and how bonding friendships are, and I started noting how powerful these messages were in games to people like me. And in music, and in art. And in everything, an escape there that did not result to hurt everyone including myself, but in a way that helps everyone, including myself. So i started making games, and music and art and because of this terrible hurt that I had gone through I further developed those passions of mine. I made more friends by the dozens. I started realizing that my parents WERE wrong. I am me. God made me. Nobody was going to tell me otherwise. THAT HURT and that LONGING is there. The only thing that covers it is the love of God and friends, but I will always have that longing for a parents' love. But see, I had become STRONG because of what I went through. What doesn't kill you WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER. It IS true.

And years later I have met people who are going through similar situations and I can tell them now IT GETS BETTER. IT DOES. That's FACT. Because I went through it. And I talked to them and I befriended them and I could RELATE to them. All of the fear and pain and hurt and worry and void, I'd seen it, I'd lived it. But I made it through to the other side and I was adamant on helping people get through. And because of that I have people who will testify that MY STORY, MY HELP, MY STRENGTH, MY DEDICATION saved them (by the grace of God that saved me). What does that mean? It means that at least a good few people would not be alive today probably, had I taken my own life. I'm not going to say that all of them converted to Christianity, no, because I don't force it, some did, but even if they didn't, the simple fact that bonds can hold people together and keep them afloat is AMAZING.

I'm just an ordinary person who had to go through some extraordinarily bad things, and I'm THANKFUL i did. I thank God he put me right where I was, that He made me fortified and strong against the enemy, that He brought me through to tell my story because oh boy. I will tell it. i was scared to back then, but I'm not now.

Then at age 23 I was struck with a disabling disease. Now I'm in bed lots of times, and it's boring and I hate it and sometimes it feels not worth it. But let me tell you something. Since I've been ill I've been able to really look at the smaller things of life and appreciate them. No amount of pain can take away the beauty of life. I'm in pain CONSTANTLY and you can ask anyone. i rarely go without a smile on my face and singing (I'm not even supposed to be able to sing). But I'm going to keep on doing because if I can keep on doing, people will know they can keep on doing. Don't trade away the one thing you have left going for you, life. It's precious. You won't get it back. And you'll be stealing peace of mind to everyone who cares about you. And you may be ending lives yourself (in my case). you don't know the purpose for you? because you didn't hold on long enough. You never know. There's no such thing as absolute with life. Life is a box of chocolates and you may strike gold. In health, in love, if you just wait it on out. I promise. There's something there. Nobody is born without a reason.

~~**~~

Tl:dr: Don't be selfish. Don't give up. No matter how bad it is, you have a reason for being alive in this very moment.

 

[Tyrantrum]

I do not like suicide and the thought of it depresses me greatly. The fact that people hate themselves enough to want to take their own lives just to end everything is just, well...depressing, for lack of better words. I admit to having gone through depression before, as well as having suicidal thoughts, but I could never think of actually going through with it and ending everything once and for all. I always end up thinking about my friends and family and how they'd be affected.

In my opinion, I feel like suicide is selfish, but in a way it isn't. I'm not very good with explanations, but the way I see it, depression is, or can be, deadly; everyone knows this. It leads to, lo and behold, suicide. It's seen as selfish to others because, while said victim just took the easy way out, everyone is either sad or angry for said victim doing such a thing. However, dealing with the problems the victim is dealing with is hard (obviously) and getting help or taking medication may not always be the solution. I'm not saying suicide is the solution, but when you've tried everything you could to get rid of these dreadful feelings, you just end up thinking there's nothing left to do; nothing left to live for; you feel like everyone hates you and wants you dead (and this may or may not always be the case.)

So, you attempt it - it either works or it doesn't. If it works, well...then there's not much anyone can do. You're dead, everyone is sad, but some may also think you're selfish and just wanted attention. If it didn't, it could mean the same thing, but it also may be a sign saying that it's not time for you to die. Keep living; don't give up. There's much more to live for. You're life may not be going so well know, but it'll get better eventually. You just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and live! It'll be hard - life is tough - but try and you shall succeed, right?

So, in short, I do not condone suicide. It's a dreadful thing, and how it affects the loved ones of the victim is just as terrible. So, before you go and attempt to take your own life, think about this: How would your family feel? Your friends? Would they care? Yes, I'm sure they would. If they don't, don't do it still. They're obviously people you don't need in your life. Keep living and live life to its fullest; don't throw it all away.

Please, don't do it.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Yeah. I've actually considered killing myself. Sad but true, and sometimes I still wish I could die. I don't want to get into reasons why, though.

 

[Lord Varion]

According to studies 80% the time a human body wishes to kill it's self it cannot out of fear, only under certain pressure could it do it.

With that said, I only believe people could commit suicide when something really bad happened. I won't say what kind of things ... but yeah.


In other news, I don't like the thought of suicide, merely because my girlfriend's family have wound her up so many times I've actually forced to out of suicide, I hate seeing posts of suicide and such, specially the people who say it about stupid things.

 

[shnen]

come on man I poured my heart out here and nobody responded

 

[Original_Blastoise]

I don't think suicide is selfish. It's horrible. It's sad. But when people say it's selfish. It's also selfish to tell them not to. Sometimes there isn't a way out. I've been depressed for over 7 years. It's rough. I've tried killing myself twice. Fairly recently. It's also unfair to compare that person to other people. Yes there's always someone worse off. So there is never a real comparison. So personally me, having attempted before. And have had many friends attempt. And a few actually commiting suicide. I don't think it's wrong. I just think it's sad.

 

[outfox]

There's no right nor wrong in suicide, it's a very complicated issue that deals with a lot more than circumstances, and it's not always something that can be contemplated and conquered. It's a subject I'm very close with, as with many others posting in this thread, and I'm willing to share some personal experiences.

I was actually recently released from a psychiatric ward (nuthouse, in layman's terms) for a brush with attempted suicide. I say a brush because I cannot describe the strength I had to provoke within myself to keep myself from overdosing. Depression and anxiety are things I struggled with ever since I can remember, and despite my decent circumstances the impulse was still there. In my right mind, I would never do such a thing! I have a million reasons to not commit suicide. But self-harm and suicide are two things I've encountered in the form of impulses, not thoughts, and in the moment there is no other choice. You're no longer focusing on the internal pain, you're cutting yourself, or pulling the trigger, or what have you.

It is a permanent solution to temporary problems. As someone who has contemplated it several times; it is not worth it at all. Life is always changing. Don't be a helpless victim to your past (there's a reason it is called "the past"). Remember that anything can happen at any given moment with or without your consent/knowledge. Embrace the constant change that life brings and keep your eyes set on tomorrow. That's my 2 cents.

I share the philosophy that we're in a constant state of evolution, but sometimes people who struggle with suicidal thoughts aren't always victims of their pasts but victims of their minds (although circumstances causing major stress can certainly and quickly lead to chemical imbalances). There being 'no real reason' for being depressed has actually thrown me into dark vortexes of self-criticism! There is much misunderstood about depression, so may we remember those who succumbed to their emotions with fondness rather than chastise their spirits for selfishness. Those who are struggling now can only be strong and find the right places to get help, and my advice is to cling on to good memories for happiness in the moment is surely still happiness.

Maybe depression is nature's way of plucking out the unfit. That may be a logical way of looking at it, albeit callous. Someone can pick at that statement and draw a conclusion if they want.

 

[pleb]

Apparently the smell of cat poo makes people want to kill them selves. However I don't have any plans of commiting suicide anytime soon.

 

[Baloth]

I think it's incredibly selfish. The friends and families of suicide victims are absolutely destroyed. Sure, your circumstances may be wretched, but you have to think about others before yourself. My best friend is terribly ill, and she has tried to kill herself on several occasions. Her friends, especially me, would be absolutely devastated by her death. It's very hard to try to talk her out of such things without making her feel any guilt.

 

[outfox]

The selfish point has been countered in the thread already so I'm going to reiterate a couple people and myself here in hopes these extremely valid accounts are actually read and understood and not skipped over. Consider that your suicidal friend is not a victim of her circumstances, but a victim of her mind. Take it from folks who have experienced these feelings first-hand, and I quote:

That's a significant part of a decade, and my adolescence, that I spent miserable and in despair. It's a lot of pain to deal with for a long time. Inside, I always believed that it would end. But I wasn't sure how it would end. I was depressed for so long that I didn't know if I could withstand it long enough to see the end. Perhaps the end would only come from ending it myself, and, indeed, I tried. Either way, I firmly believe that the only way I could survive with my sanity relatively intact was through my strong conviction that surely something so terrible would one day end. It's a constant, chronic, all-pervasive pain; you can dull it, legally or illegally, but you cannot simply ignore it. It's an acute, aching despair. And your sense of self-worth utterly plummets.

please don't give us lip service. We want help, not assurance. Not that assurance is bad, but we also want to be helped too. We know things will get better. We've heard it a thousand times. We don't need to know that again. But the journey to happiness, unaided, is much too big for us to bear on our own.

I was actually recently released from a psychiatric ward (nuthouse, in layman's terms) for a brush with attempted suicide. I say a brush because I cannot describe the strength I had to provoke within myself to keep myself from overdosing. Depression and anxiety are things I struggled with ever since I can remember, and despite my decent circumstances the impulse was still there. In my right mind, I would never do such a thing! I have a million reasons to not commit suicide. But self-harm and suicide are two things I've encountered in the form of impulses, not thoughts, and in the moment there is no other choice. You're no longer focusing on the internal pain, you're cutting yourself, or pulling the trigger, or what have you.

To bring guilt to the victim is a very dangerous thing to do. It's like, 'here's some more reasons to hate yourself.' If you cannot relate, don't make judgments! When you know someone in this complicated state, it's important to gain a proper understanding of it, direct them to proper guidance, and be supportive in the best way you can. You can tell a suicidal person a million times that their life is worth living, it does not change the imbalances within.

Spoiler:

Maybe depression is nature's way of plucking out the unfit. That may be a logical way of looking at it, albeit callous. Someone can pick at that statement and draw a conclusion if they want.

still interested in this if anyone cares to pick at it :x

 

[Esper]

still interested in this if anyone cares to pick at it :x

I agree with you. It's callous. People aren't governed by nature like animals are. We have free will, compassion, and and knowledge such as medicine that allow everyone to live even if "nature" wouldn't have let them. Compassion, sympathy, empathy - they are part of the human condition and we can't just toss them aside for a "survival of the fittest" sort of idea. We'd all loose someone important to us if the "unfit" were left to die. We don't want that. Moreover, plenty of "unfit" people have been monumentally important to our species as a whole (Think: Isaac Newton or Vincent Van Gogh or John Nash).

 

[Nihilego]

This is a kinda tricky one. I'm a firm believer that suicide should be a last resort but only in situations where the "permanent solution, temporary problem" saying can't apply. I'm talking things like terminal illnesses. In fact, I can't think of another situation where I could say that suicide is acceptable. I don't think it's possible to sustain any amount of emotional distress which cannot be recovered from given time, dedication and most likely therapy, and as such I don't think suicide is ok for these situations.

Maybe depression is nature's way of plucking out the unfit. That may be a logical way of looking at it, albeit callous. Someone can pick at that statement and draw a conclusion if they want.

Sure, I'll bite. No. I really disagree with that. Humans are long developed past the point where we rely on natural selection for survival. In fact, we're one of not that many species with the means and the desire to help those who are otherwise a "burden", with medicine and therapy and all that. Furthermore it's not like anyone can really prevent depression. Some people may be more resistant to it than others but, given enough misfortune and enough time, anyone can be effected by it. To say that it's nature's way of picking out the unfit is to imply that everyone has the same reasons to be depressed and only some actually end up with it which is untrue. So yeah I... really don't like that suggestion. I sort of see what you're getting at but no.

 

[outfox]

@scarf- Agreed, well said. (Although if nature wanted to get rid of me I wouldn't argue.) I see sadness as a tool to help us focus on our adversities for long enough to overcome them, if we weren't able to react emotionally to a sticky situation obviously there'd be little human progress. It is strange how extreme cases of depression impairs the ability to reproduce and think through suicidal impulses and I wonder why that is. I also wonder about a correlation between creativity/intellect and depression. Not to say all artists are unhappy or anything like that, but it's curious how many eminent artists throughout history suffered mood disorders.

 

[Esper]

@scarf- Agreed, well said. (Although if nature wanted to get rid of me I wouldn't argue.) I see sadness as a tool to help us focus on our adversities for long enough to overcome them, if we weren't able to react emotionally to a sticky situation obviously there'd be little human progress. It is strange how extreme cases of depression impairs the ability to reproduce and think through suicidal impulses and I wonder why that is. I also wonder about a correlation between creativity/intellect and depression. Not to say all artists are unhappy or anything like that, but it's curious how many eminent artists throughout history suffered mood disorders.

It is kind of strange, about there being so many artists and so on. I half wonder if these individuals (or humans in general) had minds and emotions beyond what the human body has developed into. Like, have we humans grown in our brains and thinking capacity so quickly over time that the rest of our bodies haven't adjusted yet and that causes an imbalance?

 

[Khawill]

Suicide isn't a sign of weakness. It goes against our very nature to take our own lives. Only someone with a strong will or mental handicap can accomplish this.
Suicide comes from a strong feeling that there's no reason for them to live. They are usually very depressed or sad because of this. In my opinion, Sadness is the feeling you get when something is lost or taken from you, and something as big as meaning or a loved one is a huge blow. (This is likely a reason teens have a high suicide rate, they don't have much, and the stuff they do have are taken so much easier than adults (sometimes))
I do not condone suicide. But people treat suicidal people like they are a danger to themselves, or like they need to be pitied. A person like that doesn't need reassurance or therapists, they just need a reason to stay alive (this is probably why there are stories of mothers committing suicide with their children).
Someone once told me that you never know when everything will be taken from you, so you can't say you won't be like those people.