zero the riolu (old thread closed)

[ryu0809]

Author's Note: this is my first story EVER so please don't hate on it too much also any similarity to ANYTHING is my mistake i just didn't know (or did) it existed.


becuse of some (censored of course) bad words and not compleatly little kid stuff age rating is ............E 10+ sorry the old one is closed be cuse i dident make the story fast engnoth sorry for any misunderd standing moderators

 

[ryu0809]

Zero the Riolu Episode one: zeros reawakeining


it was just a regular day in Kalos a trainer decides to catch some more pokemon i mean there are over 700 now right? any way a riolu appeard in one of the routes and decided to travel going into the cave of zygarde he was scared becuse he dident belong there in one of the corners there was a sword and armor the sword was glowing light green and had a red handle the armor was red and had a blue gem on the helmet (capcom's zero similarity and copyright) curios he put the armor on and held the sword "well i guess it fits but why is it here?" then he herd a voice . zero: so you found my armor good for you. riolu: who the **** was that?! zero:my name is zero i put my body in the helmet of this armor soon you will gain my or most of my personality and confidence
and i wont bother you after that... riolu: wha why- it was done the transfer process zero (not the riolu) went out of the cave destroying the pokemon who attacked him riolu had a split personality now one was zero another was riolu himself he went home talking to himself then team rocket came on the scene. what will team rocket do now what is zero going to do whith his new body find out next episode of zero the riolu to be continued...

 

[ryu0809]

tommorow episode two will come please dont close its just that im buisy so i cant do the full story today again please dont close my thread

 

[bobandbill]

Sorry, but rules are rules. While posting complete chapters is fine (we don't expect the whole story to be done, just parts completed when posted), the chapter must be up to some standards, such as length (unless it's very well written):

The 1,000 Word Rule:
This is more of a suggestion than anything, but I will warn you to work on one of your chapters if I deem it to be too short. If you're worried about the length of your chapter, have it be around 1,000 words. It's about one and a half pages in Microsoft Word, and it's a pretty good length that's not too hard to reach. Just to be clear, this only goes for chaptered fics. Drabble threads, poetry threads, and things of that nature are exempt from this rule.

There's also some simple mistakes that you could fix up first, even through a spelling/grammar check. For instance, you should capitalise the first word of each new sentence, and use proper dialogue tags and start a new paragraph when someone speaks (so instead of

'riolu: who the **** was that?! zero:my name is zero i put my body in the helmet of this armor soon you will gain my or most of my personality and confidence',
try

'"Who the **** is that?!" Riolu shouted.

"My name is Zero," the voice echoed. "I put my body in the helmet of this armor. Soon you will gain my or most of my personality and confidence."') Notice that I also split the second dialogue into a few sentences with the correct capitalisation, and by adding something as small as 'Riolu shouted' I'm providing more information on how things were said.

Don't get discouraged by my closing of your thread, just take your time and make sure to work on editing it. It's important to fix simple errors that are easy to fix, as people can be turned off from reading something that isn't formatted properly. Be sure to read through the fanfiction rules, and check out some other fics to see how it's done. You can make a new thread whenever you are ready, there's no rush, and your story will be more enjoyable to read for it. You do have a good basis already, it just needs some tidying up and expansion.