Barrels

I think Mel B might actually be our nasty judge. I've only seen a few snippets of the show, but she always seems to be the harsh one and then Natalie is the one who is like "That's not very nice Mel B! Did you have fun, Bella? Well that's all that matters, now go on you crazy dog you!"

I don't think Ronan is in charge, he seems to mostly stare into space and wonder how his life came to this.

Also I had never ever heard of Tulisa before clicking that link, I'll admit. I thought it was a poor African country, but it turns out that's Tunisia.

You didn't necessarily ask for a run-down of our X Factor history, but there you have it nevertheless! :P

Actually no that's my mistake! I think we did have Dannii last year but we don't now. Or maybe I just saw her on clips of British X Factor, I'm not sure :P

I have official word from my mother who actually does watch the show and apparently the judge line up is!

- Mel B (Scary Spice, you are not allowed to not know who it is. You are only four years younger than I, good sir, and you were well and truly awake and lucid when the Spice Girls hit their prime. But, as you are culturally sheltered from your own country, this is her during the Scary Spice years and this is her now.)

- Natalie Bassingthwaite - you may know who she is or you may not, but she's an Australian singer. Dannii Minogue told me the other day from her mediocre apartment that some Australian singers make it big in England!

- Ronan Keating - you do know who he is. You do. Or else there is trouble.

- Guy Sebastien - the winner of our first season of Australian Idol in 2003. I hope to God you don't know who he is, and if you do I pity your soul.

I can't be sure, but I think Brian McFadden was also a judge in previous years... we adopted him when he was dating one of our famous singers, Delta Goodrem... but they broke up and now nobody cares who he is anymore :P

It has been three days and I have neglected to reply to either of your messages! If you'll sit back and allow me to explain, however, here is why:

Now that we are no longer talking about Things Which Cannot Be Spoken Publicly, I made the decision following your latest PM to bring the conversation back into VM form. This meant replying to your PM as a VM, and in order to do that I would need to keep your PM open to remember what I was replying to. This means keeping a separate tab open for your PM while I had another tab open with your profile in it to type the VM. Multiple tabs.

Eventually, the enormity of the task at hand overwhelmed me and led to many "I'll get to that in a minute" moments, until then it was three days later and I am a horrible jerk who still hasn't replied to his dearest friend's message!

We do have the X Factor here, the judges of which include Scary Spice and Kylie Minogue's less-successful-and-absolutely-ok-with-that-yes-absolutely-ok-with-it-why-wouldn't-I-be-she's-family-and-i'm-happy-for-her-success-yes-I-am-I'm-happy-for-her-really younger sister, Dannii. I don't watch it though because I regard it as a Poor Man's Australian Idol :P. As such, I didn't understand a lot of the liveblog's references and now I feel like a massive failure because I'm sure it'd be hilarious if I knew what they were saying :(

ARE YOU DEAD WHERE ARE YOU WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME

YES :D Throw it as hard as you can at any of the following three!

[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]

I made sure to send it this morning before I went to work otherwise I would have forgotten again :P. So when you sign in it is there for your PERUSING PLEASURE. Capitalised for no reason other than it's 2:10am and my eyes are stinging and I'm tired and I want to go to bed but my fingers won't stop typing oh god the words just won't stop ack hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants.

And hahaha of course I have a problem with his views! What you're seeing there is not respect for his opinion but an intense amount of self-restraint :P. I am the owner of that club, you see, and therefore I cannot be engaging in petty flame wars :P. It looks bad. I have to be a grown-up and set an EXAMPLE oh god I capitalised again monkey monkey underpants.

omg I forgot to send it. I did everything I needed to do yesterday and then figured once it was done it would automatically send to you as if by telepathy. Apparently not, so I'll send it around :P

And I said I wanted to, not that I actually planned to :P. But seriously you have nothing to be embarrassed about with that line, it's like it was from a movie it was so good! If everybody was that amazing when they "got a little too intense and over-the-top", there would be a lot more amazing moments in this world :P

And alright that is pretty bad translation. I'm interested in what he actually meant to say lol. Anyway who actually stops and listens to what anybody has to say in a Pokemon game? :P. Amateur.

I know! I'm sorry! I was going to do it on Monday afternoon when I got home from my plans, but then I got called in to work and that sapped up all my time! Tomorrow is my next day off, so TOMORROW I PROMISE FOR SERIOUS.

Your replies in AA are the highlight of my day, particularly with Brock around. I still tear up at the "I will not sit quietly in Heaven while they scream below me" speech. That was the best thing I have ever read on the internet and I want to go and post it around everywhere on the internet so everybody can be equally moved!

And I've noticed no translation errors in B2W2 but that's a very weird reason not to play a Pokemon game :P

You are a member of The PokeCommunity how could you not have B2W2! :P

It is wonderful, seriously. It is so much better than BW, which I hardly enjoyed at all. It's the game that BW should have been from the beginning! I'm glad they took the time to correct their horrific mistakes :P

Also take a look at Atheist Alliance. That place gon' did blew right up!

And finally - PM. Tomorrow. I swear it. I have the day off and I'm only going out once so tomorrow is the day good sir.

We aren't allied against anything, we're pro-alliteration :P. It's seriously just a name. We're not plotting or scheming or trying to dominate the world, Atheist Alliance just sounds cool (and makes the logo in the OP look awesome). That's the extent of the depth behind the name :P.

I'm loving your posts in that thread too omg. I could take 90% of the things you say, put quotation marks around them and slap them on the front cover of a pretentious book about atheism! I wanted to say that in the thread but I was running short on time by the time I finally got to the thread (work beckons, yay me!) so I only really had time to reply to one thing droomph said, when there was so much from everybody I wanted to reply to! D:

And you are not a lower priority don't cry! It's just that it's Pokemon B2W2! The thing we have all been waiting for... I couldn't just let it sit there. I COULDN'T!

You know you're always my number 1... this was just something I had to do. *stands with hands on hips looking into the distance, radiating an intense sense of purpose*

Aaaaaa omg thank you so much :D - though you never actually specified that you wanted to join that club, you were still unsure last time I checked and thus you are still not on the member list! D: does the term "Alliance" still bother you? :P

And I don't trust the Big G, though I am an Apple user and we have an inherent mistrust in the Goog. I think the Goog is, as you say, condescending you and making you think you can't make your own choices in this life.

and I threw the guests out the window but then yesterday Pokemon B2W2 came out so... you know, priorities :P. But I want to get to the PM, I will. I am super excited for you to read it! Life just throws obstacles in the way sometimes :P

omg so I came home from work tonight with every intention to get to the PM I'm meant to be sending you, but then I got home and BAM we have guests. Who only just now at midnight have left, leaving me with no will to fight on.

Also I love how much power you think I have to fix the forum as the moderator of Other Voting Polls :P. That does look scary but I wouldn't worry! I think your antivirus software is just being overprotective of your computer, in much the same way you are protected by Horse. PC doesn't have viruses, surely! I've heard no complaints and have noticed nothing myself!

Oh right, ack! I'll get to it I'll get to it hahaha.

I keep forgetting because I have to go through and find all the references you won't understand so I can feed them to you beforehand and that's effort :P

No really. NO REALLY. I don't even like Seinfeld, but it's one of the most famous sitcoms of all time! How can you not know anything about it! NO REALLY.

I rejoiced in its daring (ohoho did I rejoice), but we have shows like that too! There was The Chaser's War on Everything that got cancelled a while back because people were getting fed up with their nonsense :P

And that's fine, you stand firm. Stand firm and alone in all your aloneness. There may be another of your kind, a Mean Girls virgin... but it'll be harder for you to find one than it was for Will Smith to find another person who wasn't a zombie in I Am Legend. Good luck with that reference :P

I'm not sure what the first one even is, but I've heard of another TV show in America that fits the same description as The Thick of It. It's called Veep and it stars Julia Louis Dreyfus (which to someone who knows as little about pop culture as you seem to, is Elaine from Seinfeld :P). It won an Emmy so surely it must be good!

Now, when wouldn't you have been exposed to Mean Girls. Everybody, be it straight girl, lesbian, gay man, straight man... all of them. EVERYBODY has seen Mean Girls. That's how you would have been exposed to it. Everybody. You know how all the old people talk about movies like Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Sixteen Candles and St Elmo's Fire that their entire generation have seen? (You do, don't you?) Well Mean Girls is our version of that. So you best be seeing it, even if you're 8 years late :P

And I'm not laughing at you I love you you know this please stop crying! *hugs*

It's going... interestingly. I got accepted into my English Education program!

And I kind of sort of really like my neighbor. But I suck at flirting so while everyone else is already in a relationship with the guy they like I'm just like "So... do you like bread?"

Hahahahahahaha Christmas has not been delivered!

You have opened my eyes. I was not aware that things created before 1990 could actually be funny! Oh, Shirley Valentine was made in 1989. OK I was not aware that things created prior to 1989 could actually be funny! Look at that. But no, I didn't get your reference. I glossed over it in the hope that you wouldn't notice and I would be the lone victor. :(

BUT THIS WAS MADE IN 1977 AND IS THEREFORE MORE UNDERSTANDABLE THAN YOU NOT KNOWING MEAN GIRLS FROM 2004. Hit Chicks indeed.

Also as much as I enjoyed that clip, you watching one movie is not equivalent to my watching four seasons of a television show :P.

(Wrote this at near 2am after wondering why you hadn't replied to me only to find that it's because I hadn't yet replied to you XD)

Grace Helbig. :D

She's kind of my favorite person ever in the whole world GAH

Well, how's it going? :D

GUESS. WHAT.
COLLEGE IS A TIME SUCK.
I HATE EVERYTHING.
I HATE THAT I CAN'T KEEP PROMISES TO STAY ACTIVE.
BLAH.