The Post Your Problems Thread

[pastelspectre]

Well I forgot to add in stuff. I've already told both my guidance and principal. My principal wrote their names down and will keep an eye on them.
The guidance talked to them and told them to stop. it didn't work.

 

[Spinor]

Well I forgot to add in stuff. I've already told both my guidance and principal. My principal wrote their names down and will keep an eye on them.
The guidance talked to them and told them to stop. it didn't work.

Tell your principle again. Annoy the hell out of him until he gets the message that you're not gonna put up with those bastards and neither will you put up with his ignorance. Get a meeting with the Superintendant if you have to. Also keep in mind a golden rule of school administration: An Angry Parent is worth 100 times more than an angry student.


Quick problem of mine: AP classes. After doing a little research, I'm having second thoughts about taking US History AP next year. I'm already going to potentially take many other AP classes (Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, and English Language), but those classes contain material I know I enjoy learning, and History is not my forte nor is it a field I tolerate easy being forced to study. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone else who has take US History AP describe the material and coursework? What I can prefer is that the course will be more broad and include Pre and post Civil War material and won't go too deep.. But if its going to go as deep as a normal Texas course in US History (Approx. just Post-civil war material) and the coursework will be overkill I'm going to prefer to take the normal course instead.

 

[Daikenki]

Quick problem of mine: AP classes. After doing a little research, I'm having second thoughts about taking US History AP next year. I'm already going to potentially take many other AP classes (Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, and English Language), but those classes contain material I know I enjoy learning, and History is not my forte nor is it a field I tolerate easy being forced to study. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone else who has take US History AP describe the material and coursework? What I can prefer is that the course will be more broad and include Pre and post Civil War material and won't go too deep.. But if its going to go as deep as a normal Texas course in US History (Approx. just Post-civil war material) and the coursework will be overkill I'm going to prefer to take the normal course instead.

I've never taken any AP classes myself, but you said that history is something you don't enjoy much, and if you feel this way taking the normal class might be better for you. That's just calling for uneeded stress that you do not need with the other AP classes, as I'm sure the course load in most are very heavy. At least that's what people told me in highschool. I hope someone can explain the class to you though, but personally I'd take the normal one, even though I enjoy history a lot.


Anyway, I've got some stuff to get off my chest, and it feels like none of my friends are listening to me at all, and almost everyone on this thread is being helpful, so maybe I can get some advice too.
So I was in a year long depression for the whole of 2010, and wasn't online to talk to most of my friends at all, and basically became a hermit. In Jan I was guilt-tripped into coming back onto the internet, which wasn't a good thing because it's gotten me re-addicted. No one here is hiring, and my brother is in college, and my family is sort of poor so they can only afford to send one kid, and since I changed my major about three times, they told me to wait it out. .__. So yeah I have nothing to do in real life, because I'm also a social hermit crab, almost to the point of having some sort of social retardation disease, if it exists, and I'd love to go out and everything, but my mother is completely insane and won't let me get a license because she knows I'll leave the house the first chance I get, and my step-father is lazy, and no one wants to teach me even though I nag people constantly.
ANYWAY ENOUGH LIFE STORY.
I've been on aim and everything, but it's like all of my friends decided to not want to talk to me, which is pissing me off something fierce, because I came on because THEY wanted me to, and only one person even cares about me now, and I believe in karma, and I'm a nice person, and I haven't talked out at people, but recently I just can't handle it, and even though I tell people how I feel, it's like they gouged their eyes out or something and can't read. I like walls, but I hate talking to one. I feel like some kind of attention-hog feeling this way, but when you're being ignored 24/7 for an entire month and no one is telling you why, you can't help but feel bad. And I've got no backbone and can get pretty emotional, so this whole stupid friend thing has got me going into internet hermit mode. I want to just delete them all from my life, but I knew them for 3 years. Maybe I just need to get new friends, but I have no idea where to start.

tl:dr: I'm being ignored for no reason.

 

[Impo]

I have a teeny problem.

How do you tell if a girl is flirting or just being nice?
The difference is blurred to me.

 

[Meganium]

Well I forgot to add in stuff. I've already told both my guidance and principal. My principal wrote their names down and will keep an eye on them.
The guidance talked to them and told them to stop. it didn't work.

I agree with AK. Did you at least talk to your parents about it? It sounds like the principal and the guidance counselor just made things lenient for them.

 

[Spartakiss]

I have a problem i have two diffrent seperate sets of friends and if i go and play football with one set the other set seems to hate me for a week or so until i go with them. The two sets are complety diffrent One set likes playing football & being active
and the others just like to chill in the skate parks if i dont do something now I will probably end up loosing both sets and have no one.

 

[Spinor]

I have a problem i have two diffrent seperate sets of friends and if i go and play football with one set the other set seems to hate me for a week or so until i go with them. The two sets are complety diffrent One set likes playing football & being active
and the others just like to chill in the skate parks if i dont do something now I will probably end up loosing both sets and have no one.

Have you considered losing them both and focusing on school instead?

 

[donavannj]

Have you considered losing them both and focusing on school instead?

Terrible advice. You can focus on school while still hanging with friends.

I have a problem i have two diffrent seperate sets of friends and if i go and play football with one set the other set seems to hate me for a week or so until i go with them. The two sets are complety diffrent One set likes playing football & being active
and the others just like to chill in the skate parks if i dont do something now I will probably end up loosing both sets and have no one.

Sounds like your friends are in two different cliques that just do not like each other at all. You have a few options:

1. Ditch both groups and find new friends, which I think is a terrible idea.

2. Try to make sure both groups of friends understand that you like hanging with both groups. Probably very difficult to accomplish, and you could end up losing both groups as friends.

3. Choose whichever group you like more. Probably not the best solution if you want to stay friends with all of them.

4. Not do anything, which sounds like it isn't something you want to do, and is also probably not a good idea.

Eventually you'd hope that they'd start being much more mature and see that the other clique isn't all that bad, but either group reaching that point is probably a few years away yet.

I'm not well versed in the way of advising, though, so there's probably someone who'd know better out of their own experience from a situation like this.

 

[pastelspectre]

I actually got it solved. xP Thanks anyways.

 

[Morgnarok]

Hello, I wanted some help trying to figure something out.

You see i lost my dad when i was age 5, I am now 16 turning 17 soon. My mom was always there when i needed her but ive always wanted/ woundered what it be like to have a dad again or to really get to know him.

I remember bits and pieces of him. I remember him coming to see me and buying me gifts and spending time with him. He had court order he could only see me if my grandparents were around because my grandfather was a cop or something i don't know the whole story but my grandmother tells me all the time he was useless and worthless, he made so many mistakes, hit my mother and all.

When i talk to my mom she tells me he did do that stuff but she never hated him for it. He just had a temper. The thing is i never saw his temper he always treated me so nice and kind before and after the court order.

One day when i was 5 i remember waking up and sitting on the couch with my mom and her telling me she had something to tell me and it isn't easy on her. I ask what it was and she told me that my father had passed away in his sleep of heart failure.

I truthfully can't remember when i found out if i cried or if i just sat there and tried to figure things out. A few years later my mom got remarried to a guy and he became my step father and was a real jack ass and got locked up. To this day i wounder what it would be like to have a real dad but i will never have one i guess.

What i want to know thou if i didn't cry when i heard the news maybe because i was just young why don't i feel sad about it now. I wish i had a dad. I wish he didn't have to die but i feel as i am trying to make my self sad for some reason when im really not. I wish i was more sad that he was gone but im not.

 

[Nutella]

How do you tell if a girl is flirting or just being nice?

A lot of it is about body language. People can say whatever they want, but body language is less controlled. If she spends an inordinate amount of time looking at you (and looks away if she notices you noticed her), that's a strong indication. Flirting isn't just verbal. If she likes to touch you, that's a sign as well. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about what she does to help you further...

Also, there is a user on YouTube called mariedubuque that has advice and better observations that would help you. She posts videos about advice of this nature.

What i want to know thou if i didn't cry when i heard the news maybe because i was just young why don't i feel sad about it now. I wish i had a dad. I wish he didn't have to die but i feel as i am trying to make my self sad for some reason when im really not. I wish i was more sad that he was gone but im not.

I'm sorry for your loss...

It is perfectly natural for you to NOT feel sad. You're 17 now, and this happened 12 years ago. The reason why you're not very sad can depend on many things, but my theory is that because you didn't spend a lot of your conscious time with him. Perhaps you are experiencing guilt for NOT feeling sad about his loss, because he was your father. There is nothing wrong with not feeling overwhelmed with sadness, because this happened many years ago. Honouring his memory is a wonderful thing, but grief is typically not a way to do so. You're fortunate that you have good memories of him, and you can remember him without feeling a flood of negative emotions.

I actually got it solved. xP Thanks anyways.

I'm glad to hear. =) Bullying can be very detrimental to one's psyche, so seek help even in the aftermath if you need it.

 

[Nihilego]

Well, I guess I could post in here since I don't feel like talking about it irl. Hope this won't be missed. x)

Ok I'm going to cut out a lot of backstory here because I don't want to go into it yet, especially since I'm somewhat unfamiliar with the community here and stuff, but my current problem is that I'm pretty sick with worry.

My mum's fallen really ill recently, as in beyond anything I've ever seen before. I was caring for her myself (out of school time, I might add ¬¬) for the last couple of weeks, and now she's been taken into hospital for doctors to see what's going on and decide a course to take. This all started when she had stomach cancer about a month back; her operation on that was smooth but I'd assume that she's still recovering from it and is therefore more susceptible to illness.

I'm hoping that this will all work out to be nothing major, that it's just nasty flu or something hitting at the wrong time, but at the back of my mind I know that's not what's wrong. I'm worried for her sake since this is almost certainly life-threatening and if she lives, I'm also worried about the state she'll be in and how this will change my life if she needs care.

Uh, that's the long and the short of it really. Thanks for reading I guess? I can't believe I just spilled all of that out randomly, haha. x)

 

[Nutella]

I'm hoping that this will all work out to be nothing major, that it's just nasty flu or something hitting at the wrong time, but at the back of my mind I know that's not what's wrong. I'm worried for her sake since this is almost certainly life-threatening and if she lives, I'm also worried about the state she'll be in and how this will change my life if she needs care

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother... I only really have my mother, so I can only imagine. This is in the "back of your mind," so you must ask yourself this: is this your fear and worry talking, or you definitely have something to back it up? Given that she's in professional care, and the cancer has been dealt with accordingly, I'm DEFINITELY no medical whizz of any kind, but it isn't unreasonable to assume that she's on the (unfortunately rough) road to recovery. Are you guessing this could be life-threatening, or you actually have been told this fact?

As for your caretaking concerns, I can't mince words- it will all depend on what course you take.

If you decide to look after her, it's likely to be a full-time job (unless you hire some help), and it'll be harder-to-impossible to have time for the things you used to. This could be school, work, relationships, hobbies, etc.. Your life will become revolved around hers. You will always have to put yourself second, as she is solely depending on you. This may sound like I'm trying to discourage you, but I'm just trying to tell you what's in store.

The real question is whether you believe that you are capable of being a full-time carer. Just because she is your mother, doesn't mean the job is going to be any easier. If you truly, wholeheartedly believe that your care will improve her life (both emotionally and physically), and you are sound yourself, then do so.

Most importantly, do not feel as though you're selfish or a bad person if you decide not to. Caretaking is definitely not for everyone, regardless of the person that needs the care.

You can also speak to a counsellor, or a crisis line (I don't know what they're called overseas. It's a number you can call to talk about important issues, and the counsellors are fully-trained to help you).

 

[Nihilego]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother... I only really have my mother, so I can only imagine. This is in the "back of your mind," so you must ask yourself this: is this your fear and worry talking, or you definitely have something to back it up? Given that she's in professional care, and the cancer has been dealt with accordingly, I'm DEFINITELY no medical whizz of any kind, but it isn't unreasonable to assume that she's on the (unfortunately rough) road to recovery. Are you guessing this could be life-threatening, or you actually have been told this fact?

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation in that in terms of care she's all I have.

The first time I went with her to see a doctor, before she went into hospital, we were both told that if she got worse than the state she was in at that time (which I believe she has) then it could certainly be life-threatening given that she is still recovering. I don't deny that perhaps I'm taking things a little out of proportion but yes, I am sure that this is a life-threatening situation regardless. If it hadn't have elevated, she wouldn't have been taken into hospital.

If you decide to look after her, it's likely to be a full-time job (unless you hire some help), and it'll be harder-to-impossible to have time for the things you used to. This could be school, work, relationships, hobbies, etc.. Your life will become revolved around hers. You will always have to put yourself second, as she is solely depending on you. This may sound like I'm trying to discourage you, but I'm just trying to tell you what's in store.

I can imagine how much work it'd take. I haven't actually spoken to anyone about it yet, partly because I think it's too soon and partly because it's not something I really want to think about. A lot of stuff would have to change and I really don't know how I'd manage that, but I'd just have to I suppose.

The real question is whether you believe that you are capable of being a full-time carer. Just because she is your mother, doesn't mean the job is going to be any easier. If you truly, wholeheartedly believe that your care will improve her life (both emotionally and physically), and you are sound yourself, then do so.

I think I could help her; this wouldn't be the first time, although it's never been potentially really long-term before. Though I would see what other options are available, I guess, not that I know of any viable ones. Anything you could suggest?

Most importantly, do not feel as though you're selfish or a bad person if you decide not to. Caretaking is definitely not for everyone, regardless of the person that needs the care.

That would be difficult since I've always been there for her before, but I suppose I need to do whatever is best for her. Again, I'd need to look at other options.

You can also speak to a counsellor, or a crisis line (I don't know what they're called overseas. It's a number you can call to talk about important issues, and the counsellors are fully-trained to help you).

Counseling would be awkward due to financial limitations, but I could try something like that out.

Thanks for responding.

 

[Nutella]

No worries, I'm happy to help. I wouldn't know what , I'm sorry. It all depends on what the limitations are, but for most people, it would be financial. I don't know how the health care system works in the UK, but perhaps in your situation, a carer could be made available for a certain amount of hours a week? I have no real idea, sorry... :/

You could try going to a medically-oriented forum (especially one based on the UK) and ask there? There would be many people in your shoes, and they would be really helpful.

 

[Morgnarok]

Hello, I again need some help.

I ran into some drug issues back in last year and lost all my friends almost but i am recently getting a few back after saying im sorry, Well one of my friends is still doing drugs and he recently got out of rehab, When he got out of rehab he was susposed to go out with my ex who is now my friend but she won't go out with him if hes going to keep doing drugs, So i have been sitting and talking to her trying to make her feel better because all he keeps doing is hurting her and doing drugs and not wanting to change.

Since me and her became friends again it seems that she misses hanging out with me like the old days and i agree to hang out with her again but the thing is ive been sitting here trying to help her and my other friend hook up and i want her to feel better and be happy but all this dude keeps doing is hurting her and she won't give up on him for some reason.

I personally still like her but i don't want to go between them. I know due to my past relationship with her it would be hard to get another chance but then again since then she has noticed i have changed and really matured.

What i want to know do u think i should try to go after her and just forget about my other friend since he seems he doesn't care and only hurting her

Should i stay out of it and just be there for her as a friend

or should okeep trying to help her thru things and get them together and try to get my other friend to change.

 

[groteske]

I drink too much.

That is my problem.

 

[Umbreon Bob]

I met a girl the other day on a local chatroom, I really like talking to her and shes really cute, now Im not sure what to do because I want us to meet in person but I dont want to rush into things. Now im really confused...

 

[Lily]

^ Just be straightforward with her. Although you should make sure it's in a public place and whatnot, somewhere you two will feel safe. I'm not sure a lot of people are keen on meeting in real life after just a few days of chatting though, but that might just be me. o.o

The only problem I have right now is I agreed to do a duet with someone, but now I'm freaking out because I can't sing. I have a cutesy high-pitched voice that can't go low when I sing. Otherwise it sounds awkward. I have like, no chest voice.

zzzzzzz

 

[King Gumball]

I met a girl the other day on a local chatroom, I really like talking to her and shes really cute, now Im not sure what to do because I want us to meet in person but I dont want to rush into things. Now im really confused...

If it was the other day then I would wait at least a couple off weeks. You might make her feel too uncomfortable if you ask to meet her in person after only a few days. And like Lily said, make sure it is in a public place.