View Full Version : Man talks in sleep. Wife writes down everything he says

January 28th, 2010, 1:52 PM
This is a website about a man who says things in his sleep and his wife posts them online. They are funny, but some of them have bad language so be careful: (http://current.com/1hi4k4c)


"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."

"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."

"No, not the cats. Don't trust them. Their eyes. Their eyes. They know too much."

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

"Don't... Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings."

"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."

"I don't want to watch. I want to get my hands dirty, all the way up to my shoulder. Filthy."

January 28th, 2010, 1:57 PM
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."

I could learn a thing or two from this guy.

January 28th, 2010, 4:01 PM
Say, some of these are like, really witty comebacks... reminds me I sometimes have some amazing story dream in the morning before I really wake up, then wonder how I came up with all of that on the spot as it went along...
This is good, nice find. :0

January 28th, 2010, 6:07 PM
I just read through the whole site. I laughed SO hard. XD Thanks for posting this.

Captain Hobo.
January 28th, 2010, 6:53 PM
I heard about this it is so funny. He say weird things.

January 28th, 2010, 7:12 PM
My friend linked me to this a couple days ago. I admit, a few entries had be rolling.

January 28th, 2010, 7:14 PM
That's MY donkey.

Oh, that's dandy. I'm going to spend a good long time on this website.

January 28th, 2010, 7:18 PM
This guy is a secret comedian. Some of those are seriously funny, I'm telling you.

Wi-fi Battler
January 28th, 2010, 8:06 PM
"Badger tickling... proceed with caution."

OMG. i can't stop laughing at that. especially with audio!

January 28th, 2010, 8:21 PM
These are pretty funny (: I'm gonna read through the whole page. Then, I'm going to use these as comebacks!

January 28th, 2010, 8:35 PM
"So many little people. Pet them on the head. pet pet pet pet pet...."

I love that one so much. XD

This reminded me of my best friend's dad who sat up in bed once, pointed to the other side of the room, and shouted "YOU! OVER THERE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" and scared his wife to death. XD
Or when I turned on my bathroom light and my gramma shouted "Bright lights! Bright lights!". Ah, you gotta love people who talk in their sleep. XD

January 28th, 2010, 10:07 PM
New internet phenomenon we have here. My cousin just mentioned this on her Facebook a day or two ago. This man has a beautiful mind. XP

January 29th, 2010, 1:13 AM
"You know, its a human race. And you lost."

Holy crap, this guy is funny. XD

February 26th, 2010, 4:27 PM
I read, or should I say heard, about this guy on our noon news. I loved this guy! These could be some really good comebacks!

Ninja Caterpie
February 26th, 2010, 5:34 PM

I love this guy.

Hilarious stuff.

March 3rd, 2010, 2:25 PM
I'm kinda glad no one writes down what I sleep talk :X.

March 30th, 2010, 8:04 PM
That's actually creepy in my opinion. Whenever I hear people sleep talk I freakk out, it's just plain creepy. IDK, perhaps in the realm of the surreal anything can happen, and it's better when you're in your own dream, because then it is slightly controlled by you. But with another person's dream, it could be a dream about death or the supernatural. My mom once had a dream about a deceased relative, who was sitting in a treehouse with her, and told her about some weird room. That would scare me if I had a dream like that, because I wouldn't care if it was a family member or not, I don't want direct contact with the dead. Anyways, I think it she is being an invasion of privacy into the sacred realms of dreams. It is morally wrong in my opinion.

March 30th, 2010, 10:49 PM
I remember going camping with my bro and we had to share a tent. Apparently I had asked him "Did you just spank me?" I still don't know what I was dreaming to this very day......

March 31st, 2010, 8:56 AM
Oh, my gosh... this is like wowzers O_O
I bet alot of people in their sleep say really random things, but we just don't get a chance to see or hear it...
but this.. this is just hilarious XP

Pokestick, good times.
March 31st, 2010, 8:57 AM
Wow, he sure has an artistic mind...
These are really good! Thanks for sharing this!

Spherical Ice
May 6th, 2010, 10:02 AM
"It's the belly button button. Press it and go to hell!"
"You tap-dancing hamsters. You rock my world, with your little blurry feet."
WOW. Best site ever. Hilarious!

I doubt the guy really does talk in his sleep, but either way, this is awesome.

May 6th, 2010, 10:46 AM
This guy is awesome lol xD Thanks for sharing this. Good laughs.

May 6th, 2010, 11:55 PM
I lol'd so hard!

I can't stop laughing my guts off. xD
This site is awesome!