"You need to go to Target and buy your nephew a Birthday present. Go get ready. Throw your clothes on and put your hair in a ponytail. You don't need makeup. You're not seeing anybody." I get ready by 1:00 PM, which was 15 minutes from when she asked me to get ready. At 1:24PM, mom says let's go. It's 2:09 PM. I'm still at home.
Wind up going to the mall. She knows she cannot walk much. She still wears heels when years ago, the doctor told her to stop wearing heels.
Went to JCPennys looking for remote controlled helicopters, all gone. Went to Gamestop looking for certain video games, all not in stock.
At Target.
"Go see if the car is locked" but if you press the lock button again, the car honks
"Don't step in that"
"Get in, get out. Don't dillydally"
"Go pick something out" so in the store I walk off about 20 feet and then, "You gotta stay close to me"
"You still act like a child"
"Who are you texting?"
Mom you have control issues "You're so funny!"
"Go in there and buy toilet paper" so I go in dollar store
"It's about time you paid for the toilet paper. I've been paying for everything for 20 years." No, and then she tells me something about wiping her [butt] with the toilet paper I paid for
"Lock the door. Act like you have a [freaking] brain."
"Wash your hands"
"Go feed yourself. Don't look at me. You're too skinny."
If you can't keep up with groceries and fetching supplies, you need to give the car keys to someone else, mom. "You and Thomas are terrible drivers. I'm not letting you drive."
Sadly, that was just a few hours with my mother.
Here's my dad during the last week.
"..."
Uh... Dad's in the last 10 years?
"Don't put foil in the microwave" This sound advice has saved my life more times than anything my mom said.
