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ummm...my poems?

oni flygon

:)
7,901
Posts
20
Years
    • ...I write poems...but sadly I don't post them anywhere... until now!

    ...oh yeah..."XD"



    BitterSweet Sorrow

    What I hear
    is the silence of your lips
    your deep blue eyes
    tearful and naive

    Your sweet sobs
    and your salty tears
    I wish I felt the same
    the pain inside your heart

    It's bitter sweet sorrow
    sorrow I couldn't feel
    sorrow of love and truth
    alongside the pains I bear

    Sweet sorrow as
    I held you in my arms
    withing a tearful embrace
    I comfort your sorrow
    as I kiss your mourning lips...


    erm... ^^
     

    Teara

    First visit in 4 years (oops)
    2,372
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Hurray! Some one else that can write poetry without ryming! That's great, very deep.
    Keep it up!
     

    Teara

    First visit in 4 years (oops)
    2,372
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • I like writing indirect syllabicating poetry, I think it's a little easier(not that I'm lazy ofcourse), and sometimes it can make the poem seem deeper. Are you going to post anymore?
     

    oni flygon

    :)
    7,901
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Here's more! Enjoi!

    Saying Goodbye...

    Saying goodbye,
    is just something
    I hate to do
    right infront of
    your bright blue eys

    It was cold
    dark rainy night
    your tears of sorrow
    that I felt in
    my dreams and pains

    I promised so
    much but now I
    have to break mine
    to break your heart
    drift into pain...
     

    bna_li

    2,006
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Good work, man. Actually, I am now interested in poems because a crush wrote them... what can I say...:D.
     

    Blaine

    Mon chere...
    828
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Okay... Man, these are really depressing. I used to write dark poetry too... But, it seems to be that these are really common. The angst and all. (I'm not flaming! I swear!) If you want your writing to stand out, sometimes it's best to dip into something with more insight or with more... Cheerfulness without going overboard. Like, you can write sad poetry without putting too much emphasis on the despair part. Sorry for all the criticism... -apologizes-
     

    Kyosuke

    .·Simple Complexity
    2,485
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Hmm.... its good to see a diffrent type of Poetry like Teara said, its not all that depressing as Blaine said, but she knows more about poetry then me so I'll just keep quiet ^^;.

    But anyway, I think you did a good job on it. Its short and good at the same time which is always great. Because really its quality not quantity.
     

    Blaine

    Mon chere...
    828
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • LiquidThunder said:
    Hmm.... its good to see a diffrent type of Poetry like Teara said, its not all that depressing as Blaine said, but she knows more about poetry then me so I'll just keep quiet ^^;.

    But anyway, I think you did a good job on it. Its short and good at the same time which is always great. Because really its quality not quantity.
    Click to expand...
    lol. Trying not to get in a 'lover's spat' with dear old Blaine? n.n;;;

    But, I used to have a poetry thread, so I know a good deal about writing... Heh...
     

    oni flygon

    :)
    7,901
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Blaine said:
    Okay... Man, these are really depressing. I used to write dark poetry too... But, it seems to be that these are really common. The angst and all. (I'm not flaming! I swear!) If you want your writing to stand out, sometimes it's best to dip into something with more insight or with more... Cheerfulness without going overboard. Like, you can write sad poetry without putting too much emphasis on the despair part. Sorry for all the criticism... -apologizes-
    Click to expand...

    thanks for that ^^I usually like writing "depressing" poems... it's something I'd like to dig out and throw...
     

    Blaine

    Mon chere...
    828
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • oni flygon said:
    thanks for that ^^I usually like writing "depressing" poems... it's something I'd like to dig out and throw...
    Click to expand...
    Heheh, anytime. You're talented, but sometimes it's best to expand your horizons. n.n;;;
     

    Greed

    Banned
    2,943
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    This is pretty good! I didn't knew you wrote poems, hope to hear more soon ^_^

    *dies*
     

    oni flygon

    :)
    7,901
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Blossoms of Spring

    We sit together
    under the blossoms of the tree
    side by side, we're here
    by the blossoms of spring

    The sweet fragrance of spring
    is around, everywhere
    side by side we sit together
    gazing at the falling petals

    I could feel the wind blow
    the cherry blossoms float by
    I place my hand by your side
    and you looked up to me

    By my side, here we are
    loving you always
    never forgetting each other
    under the blossoms of spring
     
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