Way back last January, I entered my final semester of my senior year. Took the two hardest AP classes our school offered, AP English and AP European History, when my advisor said I couldn't handle it. It started off full of potential, but everything quickly began to fall apart: experienced heartbreak when my relationship dropped out of nowhere, losing close friends; failed to help a friend out a suicidal situation; and grades rocked with a false start. Things went from bad to worse. February, started having seizures on the way to classes. I start slipping in every aspect of my life. March, witnessed another divorce. Then both my Dad and I were a mess.
Not a bright start to 2011, huh? There's a low point so low you can't help but think, "how the heck did I wind up here?"
But one day I realized something incredibly important: I'm running this show. Whatever you believe in, God or what have you, set you up for this; you have everything you need to make a difference in your life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is holding you back. Granted, there are certain constraints we can't break, but you bet your Wailord you can break a lot of what you perceive to be "constraints" when you change your perspective.
Here's the thing I learned about Life: right when it seems its worst, you're ready to move forward. I pressed reset. I got back to what I valued and what I liked and disliked and did right (three key ingredients to be aware of toward happiness). I realized that not everybody needs to be taken care of, and that the most important person to love and care for is yourself. Other people depend on you to do just that, to be the very best you. You matter to somebody... if you're not all there, somebody else is gonna fail. And if you don't get it together, you're going to become the person you fear.
I refocused my attention on school, family (or what left of it), and an inward-outward approach to the relationships I had with other people. You can't care ultimately for someone unless you can care for yourself. I dropped everything that was weighing me down, including people, frivolous clubs and obligations, fears and constraints. I let go. You can't fly unless you drop what's holding you down. It's going to be scary and you're going be uncertain for the future, but just jump.
Furthermore, this snippet of an article resonates the same message:
Since that decision, to stay true to me and fight for what I believe in: Leadership Summit Representative. Backstage Manager for the play. Social Studies Department Student of the Year. Scholarship award for "perseverance in hardship." Explored the Outer Banks. Got into a wonderful college and their Leadership Learning Community. Went to Boston to volunteer at the Life is Good festival. Came 4th in the 20-24 age group in a charity 5k. Became Toastmasters VP of Membership. Went to build projects with Habitat for Humanity. Made life-long friends. Studied my butt off and worked hard toward what mattered. I kept promises and regain my good ol' sense of reliability. Traveled more in my first semester of college than ever before. Got a job as a referee for soccer and flag football. Made it to the third round of the playoffs with a freshman flag football team. Got another job as a librarian for the Architecture Library. Made the Chancellor's List and a 4.0. Got into the Honors Program, and going for a second. Declared my major, and about to double up. Set up a schedule for next semester that's so exciting I can't help but want to go back to school. Crazy, I know.
There are people in your life that will tell you, "No. You can't." They're called gatekeepers. Do whatever you can to get around them. And whatever you do, don't stop fighting, clawing, or scratching if it's important to you. The world pays attention to persistence and diligence, not crybabies. In my case, it was mother. She thought I wasn't worth college and should start work. She kicked me out over it. What's a kid to do? Fight even harder for a better life.
All in all, 2011 started out rougher than many years ever were combined, but the beautiful thing about rough beginnings? Hopeful endings. All that's in the middle is the drive and power to change it. 2011 taught me this: you're leading your own production, you might as well screw the critics and make it one heck of a show.
Maybe your 2012 should be more about doing what you want to do for you, setting yourself up for something greater, and making your Life worth watching. Think about it.
With warmth,
BeachBoy
PS. I miss y'all, PC.
Not a bright start to 2011, huh? There's a low point so low you can't help but think, "how the heck did I wind up here?"
But one day I realized something incredibly important: I'm running this show. Whatever you believe in, God or what have you, set you up for this; you have everything you need to make a difference in your life. Anyone who tells you otherwise is holding you back. Granted, there are certain constraints we can't break, but you bet your Wailord you can break a lot of what you perceive to be "constraints" when you change your perspective.
Here's the thing I learned about Life: right when it seems its worst, you're ready to move forward. I pressed reset. I got back to what I valued and what I liked and disliked and did right (three key ingredients to be aware of toward happiness). I realized that not everybody needs to be taken care of, and that the most important person to love and care for is yourself. Other people depend on you to do just that, to be the very best you. You matter to somebody... if you're not all there, somebody else is gonna fail. And if you don't get it together, you're going to become the person you fear.
I refocused my attention on school, family (or what left of it), and an inward-outward approach to the relationships I had with other people. You can't care ultimately for someone unless you can care for yourself. I dropped everything that was weighing me down, including people, frivolous clubs and obligations, fears and constraints. I let go. You can't fly unless you drop what's holding you down. It's going to be scary and you're going be uncertain for the future, but just jump.
Furthermore, this snippet of an article resonates the same message:
I recently came across a passage from the Hindu sage Ramana Maharshi. Speaking of the burdens we all bear, he asks: Would you carry your luggage on your head while on board a train? "You are not lessening the burden of the train by keeping it on your head but only straining yourself unnecessarily." Likewise, Ramana says, we unnecessarily strain ourselves by laboring under the belief that we, and we alone, bear this heavy load called life. Put down that bag, he advises. Nothing disastrous will happen, and you might feel lighter.
Since that decision, to stay true to me and fight for what I believe in: Leadership Summit Representative. Backstage Manager for the play. Social Studies Department Student of the Year. Scholarship award for "perseverance in hardship." Explored the Outer Banks. Got into a wonderful college and their Leadership Learning Community. Went to Boston to volunteer at the Life is Good festival. Came 4th in the 20-24 age group in a charity 5k. Became Toastmasters VP of Membership. Went to build projects with Habitat for Humanity. Made life-long friends. Studied my butt off and worked hard toward what mattered. I kept promises and regain my good ol' sense of reliability. Traveled more in my first semester of college than ever before. Got a job as a referee for soccer and flag football. Made it to the third round of the playoffs with a freshman flag football team. Got another job as a librarian for the Architecture Library. Made the Chancellor's List and a 4.0. Got into the Honors Program, and going for a second. Declared my major, and about to double up. Set up a schedule for next semester that's so exciting I can't help but want to go back to school. Crazy, I know.
There are people in your life that will tell you, "No. You can't." They're called gatekeepers. Do whatever you can to get around them. And whatever you do, don't stop fighting, clawing, or scratching if it's important to you. The world pays attention to persistence and diligence, not crybabies. In my case, it was mother. She thought I wasn't worth college and should start work. She kicked me out over it. What's a kid to do? Fight even harder for a better life.
All in all, 2011 started out rougher than many years ever were combined, but the beautiful thing about rough beginnings? Hopeful endings. All that's in the middle is the drive and power to change it. 2011 taught me this: you're leading your own production, you might as well screw the critics and make it one heck of a show.
Maybe your 2012 should be more about doing what you want to do for you, setting yourself up for something greater, and making your Life worth watching. Think about it.
With warmth,
BeachBoy
PS. I miss y'all, PC.