Hello there.
I've been reading Love and Other Nightmares, from a fresh perspective. I haven't read the old one, and I also haven't played BW2, though I know what the setting is due to BW, which I have played.
I am seeing that your story is heavily centred in absolute creator gods, something that my one and only fan story also emphasises, pardon the pun. So as I started to read, I realised plenty of things. Big-Bang massive existential plot holes specifically. So I took the writing and dissected it thoroughly. Adding plenty of detailed observations and impressions here and there, mostly to help myself. But also, I later realised how it could help the actual writer behind it.
Want to see?
I could post the thing, and I was about to. Midway, I began to aim it as a forum post. But now I realised that my observations may have gone a little bit too much on detail, and it's reasoning could either spoil or over-inform readers as to where the story might be heading, because of all the godly speculation.
Though, to be perfectly honest, fixing these plot holes has the potential to flip the story upside down and have it's ending rush towards entirely different and unexpected resolutions.
So, it's up to you really. Should I post, or should I send it privately?
I'm off to Chapter 2 now. To see how my observations change because of it.