Thread: Sixth
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Old July 24th, 2009 (5:28 PM).
Giratina ♀'s Avatar
Giratina ♀ Giratina ♀ is offline
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    Join Date: Apr 2008
    Gender: Female
    Nature: Quirky
    Posts: 1,439
    Forewarning: I'm not big on catching spelling or grammar errors, or spacing out reviews with lots and lots of quotes, so I'm sorry if a few-paragraphs-long review insults you at all. No offense to you or to your (totally awesome) fic.


    When you proposed this idea in the Writer's Lounge, I just thought it would be some short story about an ancient Pokémon just staring at a human for a long time, maybe following him around for a while. But I'm pleasantly surprised with what's been going on so far. I haven't had time to read through all of them (I've only seen the first post's worth so far), but what I have seen compels me to come back later to read further. The ways Lileep explains the human and his actions were kind of difficult to decipher at first, but I soon got used to it and really enjoyed Lileep as a protagonist. Even though some of the informal terms (like 'weird' and 'sorta') sounded somewhat odd coming out of the mouth of a Pokémon who otherwise seems to have some very accomplished vocabulary, he's still very enjoyable to read about!

    Lileep's little brawl with the Vigoroth was done pretty well. Lots of the proper yelling and violence on Vigoroth's part, and Lileep's retaliation did a good job of turning the tables. Thank goodness Electabuzz stepped in to stop the feud, though; any farther and it certainly wouldn't have ended well.

    And now, my reactions to certain lines:

    Yeah, I told you: they're weird. Whoever came up with the idea for such a creature was probably having a field day in seaweed land, if you know what I mean... Oh I hope it wasn't Arceus.
    Well, thanks a lot, Mr. Lileep (if that is your real name >8|). You've successfully made me choke on a sip of water and spew it all over my laptop, the table it's sitting on, and my left pant leg, laughing the entire time.

    ...You are a remarkable specimen.

    I did not like the idea that she was calling me like the human nad names me, but since there was no one else to ask for my name I decidied to simply take it for the moment.
    '...the human had named me,' perhaps?
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