The Post Your Problems Thread

That's bad lacelaa. sorry to hear that. :(

exercising is a rather good idea. make yourself fitter and let your boyfriend see how he should regret breaking up with the cutest PC member.

but shunning away civilization is not good. you need to go out. you have friends that can REALLY help you throughout. Trust me, I speak from experience. and there are still great guys out there. look for the right one.

my problem is kind of simple. I can't find the molarity of NaOH. :\

Exercising is actually a good way to get over it, since exercise releases endorphines in your brain, don't over-do it though. Swimming can be pretty good to put your mind at ease as well and it's the best exercise there is. Eat lots of iron-rich food!

yes sirs and ma'ams!!!

xD i've actually been getting in touch with my highschool friends again which is really nice :3 and the boy and i have been working stuff out through communication, we had another tiff last night but i really think we will be okay, so thanks everyone here who listened to my bawwing xDDD

yoshi, that's perfect advice actually, even my doctor tells me to eat more iron!

good luck miltank... i have no idea how to xD

lacella. thanks! but I already managed how.

anyway, I have a problem of managing my time very well. It's divided very illogically. My time for extra things are more than what is important (like PC time > acads time) any suggestions?

off-topic. 1000^th post \m/

Congrats miltankRancher!

Also, I disagree with the exercise thing lol - I know the whole world and science disagrees with me, but all I find exercise does is make me hot and sweaty. I've yet to feel an endorphin from going for a run (or hell, even a walk lol)

@ Miltankrancher - Try to schedule it. Just make a planning for yourself, on paper, put it on your wall, anything that will provide a little structure for you to rely on. I have ADHD so I know how hard it can be to plan in your time well, and set priorities, and even though this might be a childish solution, it will really help you. You could even cross the day out if you managed to stick to your planning, and then at the end of the week you can see how well you did. It gives you a little more consistency so try it out.

Also Andy it's not really a matter of agreeing lol, it is a fact XD You might not feel it (right away, or at all), but it's still true lol.

OMG. Please completely disregard that post lmao - I thought I was in the DCC, not the Post Your Problems thread. WHOOPS.

Is it me or are girls completely confusing?
A friend of my best friend asked me on a date. So we go on the date and after she tells both me and my best friend she likes me. Then yesterday she decideds she just wants to be friends but then tells me I'm the only person that understands who she really is and notices the stuff and can read her like a book. shes confusing me completely and I hate that. Am I being played or is she just actually confused as I know he last relationship ended very badly.

Razer302 said:

Is it me or are girls completely confusing?
A friend of my best friend asked me on a date. So we go on the date and after she tells both me and my best friend she likes me. Then yesterday she decideds she just wants to be friends but then tells me I'm the only person that understands who she really is and notices the stuff and can read her like a book. shes confusing me completely and I hate that. Am I being played or is she just actually confused as I know he last relationship ended very badly.

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Unless she's doing a similar thing with other guys, it seems like she does like you at least a little. Why else would she ask you on a date? She either is apprehensive for any form of relationship, or still not sure if she does like you enough for that. Either way, the fact she asked you on a date then essentially gave you a friendzone line after it isn't exactly a positive indicator of what she can be like.

The question is, do you like her? If it's confusing like this so early on, it's probably not going to be easy. Do you like her enough to put extra effort in? If yes, then you make a move and see how she reacts. If no, get out of theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

Okay so, I don't know if this really counts as a problem or anything but I want to know if other people might have it or if they know what I'm talking about, when I say that I have an extreme sense of justice and that whenever I do something bad, I feel a great need to punish myself for that because otherwise it wouldn't be evened out/fair/righteous. And I'm talking about physical "punishment", like overexercising or wearing myself out or making bruises, stuff like that. And it is like salvation. I feel like I deserve pain when I do something bad and it feels good because it gives me a feeling of justice.

Yoshikkko said:

Okay so, I don't know if this really counts as a problem or anything but I want to know if other people might have it or if they know what I'm talking about, when I say that I have an extreme sense of justice and that whenever I do something bad, I feel a great need to punish myself for that because otherwise it wouldn't be evened out/fair/righteous. And I'm talking about physical "punishment", like overexercising or wearing myself out or making bruises, stuff like that. And it is like salvation. I feel like I deserve pain when I do something bad and it feels good because it gives me a feeling of justice.

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If you're hurting yourself then, yes, this counts as a problem.

I understand feeling a need to punish yourself when you do something bad (I think most people do to some degree), but I gotta say it's worrying to hear that you're mixing your sense of justice with physical punishment. I mean, some people like pain, if you know what I mean, and that's fine, but I think that's a case of people choosing it, not feeling they have to have it. Your feeling that you need to be physically punished worries me.

I have no idea what you think is "bad" and deserves punishment, and I don't want to preach to you what's right and wrong, but I would wish that you'd hold off on the physical punishment, at the very least the part about making bruises. I'd like to tell you that you should just try not to do bad things in the first place so you wouldn't need to punish yourself, but I get that there's a kind of satisfaction in doing that which can become pretty gratifying over time. I've had some experience in that area myself. Still, I can't help but think it would be best overall if you didn't see yourself as someone who needs to be punished, you know? Speaking from my own experiences I feel like I was being overly hard on myself and seeing more faults than were really there. I'm kind of assuming that when you say you do bad things that maybe some of them aren't really as bad as they seem to you so I'm kinda pushing you to see yourself in a better light.

I hope I didn't totally misinterpret things here.

Scarf said:

If you're hurting yourself then, yes, this counts as a problem.

I understand feeling a need to punish yourself when you do something bad (I think most people do to some degree), but I gotta say it's worrying to hear that you're mixing your sense of justice with physical punishment. I mean, some people like pain, if you know what I mean, and that's fine, but I think that's a case of people choosing it, not feeling they have to have it. Your feeling that you need to be physically punished worries me.

I have no idea what you think is "bad" and deserves punishment, and I don't want to preach to you what's right and wrong, but I would wish that you'd hold off on the physical punishment, at the very least the part about making bruises. I'd like to tell you that you should just try not to do bad things in the first place so you wouldn't need to punish yourself, but I get that there's a kind of satisfaction in doing that which can become pretty gratifying over time. I've had some experience in that area myself. Still, I can't help but think it would be best overall if you didn't see yourself as someone who needs to be punished, you know? Speaking from my own experiences I feel like I was being overly hard on myself and seeing more faults than were really there. I'm kind of assuming that when you say you do bad things that maybe some of them aren't really as bad as they seem to you so I'm kinda pushing you to see yourself in a better light.

I hope I didn't totally misinterpret things here.

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It's like, not even really hurting myself (not at all, maybe I made it sound like I was being sad and inflicting self harm or anything but that's not it lol) or wanting to feel pain, it's just like, that I get this feeling I'm playing life unfair if I don't get back what I deserve for my actions. And not in the sense of that I feel like I need to be punished but more that I just can't stand unfairness, so much to the extent that I'd be willing to do this sorta stuff, just to even it out and then I can feel at ease again. You could compare it with a situation where a person lied, and they start to feel so bad about themselves because they did that they eventally can't stand it anymore and come clear, and it's like a relief. Well that's kind of how it is. Like you said, it's just that I'm very harsh on myself and thinking 'okay this was wrong, you can set it right again', if I do something "wrong" lol.

For example if I skip a class yeah, (light example here lol), then when I get home I feel bad about it and I make myself do something that I dislike (like dishes or cleaning my room etc) to even it out, because I got to enjoy a free hour while I actually didn't deserve that, so by doing something like cleaning my room, it's evened out again. I hope I'm even making sense here lol. also thanks for answering

Yoshikkko said:

It's like, not even really hurting myself (not at all, maybe I made it sound like I was being sad and inflicting self harm or anything but that's not it lol) or wanting to feel pain, it's just like, that I get this feeling I'm playing life unfair if I don't get back what I deserve for my actions. And not in the sense of that I feel like I need to be punished but more that I just can't stand unfairness, so much to the extent that I'd be willing to do this sorta stuff, just to even it out and then I can feel at ease again. You could compare it with a situation where a person lied, and they start to feel so bad about themselves because they did that they eventally can't stand it anymore and come clear, and it's like a relief. Well that's kind of how it is. Like you said, it's just that I'm very harsh on myself and thinking 'okay this was wrong, you can set it right again', if I do something "wrong" lol.

For example if I skip a class yeah, (light example here lol), then when I get home I feel bad about it and I make myself do something that I dislike (like dishes or cleaning my room etc) to even it out, because I got to enjoy a free hour while I actually didn't deserve that, so by doing something like cleaning my room, it's evened out again. I hope I'm even making sense here lol. also thanks for answering

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Oh, I think I understand better now. Sorry 'bout what I said before. I was just, you know, worried that you were causing yourself harm and just not quite coming out and saying it.

So do you not want to always be so harsh on yourself for everything wrong you do? 'Cause there are two ways of going about changing that. Either stop doing things you know are bad or stop feeling so bad after you do them. (I think the first option is best, jsyk.)

Scarf said:

Oh, I think I understand better now. Sorry 'bout what I said before. I was just, you know, worried that you were causing yourself harm and just not quite coming out and saying it.

So do you not want to always be so harsh on yourself for everything wrong you do? 'Cause there are two ways of going about changing that. Either stop doing things you know are bad or stop feeling so bad after you do them. (I think the first option is best, jsyk.)

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Nah it's fine lol <3

And you're probably right, even though that like .. even the tiniest things make me feel like I've done a bad thing, even if they aren't even considerable, so I'll probably have to get rid of that feeling that even if something is only slightly not-good, it's not something that I'd have to feel guilty about. And yeah the first one is a better option XD Thank you <3

I've been depressed for a month and a half now. And this feeling really sucks. It's all because of love~ Don't cheat on the ones who love you, it hurts so bad.

Vendak said:

Unless she's doing a similar thing with other guys, it seems like she does like you at least a little. Why else would she ask you on a date? She either is apprehensive for any form of relationship, or still not sure if she does like you enough for that. Either way, the fact she asked you on a date then essentially gave you a friendzone line after it isn't exactly a positive indicator of what she can be like.

The question is, do you like her? If it's confusing like this so early on, it's probably not going to be easy. Do you like her enough to put extra effort in? If yes, then you make a move and see how she reacts. If no, get out of theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

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yeah i agree with this completely. i've figured out that in relationships it's a huge chunk of really figuring out what you want. so if you wanna be with her, go for it, simplify things and tell her how you feel, if you don't, it doesn't matter whether or not she's playing a game - don't pursue!

The Author said:

A very unpleasant problem

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What you're describing sounds like abuse. It's not right, in any case.

Does it seem like your mother ever feels bad about what she's doing or that she seems to understand what she's doing isn't right? If so you could try to talk with her and tell her what she's doing is hurting you. You might be able to find a solution if she realized what she's doing. But don't do that if it doesn't seem safe. If she seems like she'll always get angry it's best to find help elsewhere.

Unfortunately I can't say you should speak to a teacher since you're not going to an in-person school. Is there any adult you can talk to about this? Maybe a neighbor or a priest (if you're religious/go to church/whatever). It sounds like you had trouble telling the police officer what happened because your mother was right there so if you can find a chance to talk with an adult you can trust (like an aunt or uncle or grandparent even) without your parents around that seems like it would be good. Even if you can't get hold of an adult try to talk with anyone you can trust who will listen to you. I know you might not have many choices, but if you can you want to talk to someone who really has their act together and seems sensible and fair. They'll likely believe you, or at the very least they won't assume you're lying and give you a fair chance.

It may not be a problem that can be fixed immediately so you might have to come up with a way of coping with your situation. It seems as though you have some level of freedom when it comes to internet access so you might want to use it as a place to vent where you parents won't see it. But really you shouldn't have to put up with this.