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  #1    
Old June 16th, 2004 (8:23 PM). Edited June 16th, 2004 by Aya-chan.
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Aya-chan Aya-chan is offline
Ohayo, minna-san!
     
    Join Date: Feb 2004
    Location: Following Mari-chan wherever she goes! I'm her loyal friend!
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    Well...this is not really poetry but I don't know where to put it ()()

    My friend (she doesn't want her name to be said, since she's in PC) helped me with this.
    Okay, here goes...

    The little girl cried,
    Cried for her sister.
    She stopped; someone
    Had been comforting her.
    She looked up, she gasped
    Her beloved sister
    Was right beside her
    Her face tear-washed
    But she wept no longer
    And smiled instead, smiled
    At the sight of her beloved
    Who was smiling back.
    "From this day on.."
    Her sister promised,
    "I shall never leave
    You anymore."

    I know! It's horrible isn't it? At least the part that I did is horrible.
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      #2    
    Old June 16th, 2004 (8:35 PM).
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    Teara Teara is offline
    First visit in 4 years (oops)
       
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      Aww, I think you can conzider that poetry. It dozn't have a rythem like a poem but the ztory iz very cute. It remindz me of thoze little thingz you zee knit onto pillowz zometimez
      I like it, and actually, if you edited it a little you could make it into a very nice poem.
      *ztartz getting ideaz*
      Heh,I better go before I ztart thinking about it too much ;;

      Keep writing, I really think you have a talent ^_-
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        #3    
      Old June 16th, 2004 (8:40 PM).
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      100marios 100marios is offline
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        It's a free-form poem..... at least I think it is, hehe....
        I think it's really quite nice! You and your friend did a really good job on it! I hope you make more!
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          #4    
        Old June 16th, 2004 (9:11 PM).
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        Aya-chan Aya-chan is offline
        Ohayo, minna-san!
           
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          Awww, thanks guys! I'll *we'll* try to make some more. I'll also try what you suggested Teara. Thanks so much, again!
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          Old June 16th, 2004 (9:15 PM).
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          oni flygon oni flygon is offline
          :)
             
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            It's a poem alright. You should read E.E. Cumming's Poems. They're really complicated (no rhyme, meter and stuff) but they're considered as peoms. Sometimes, a line just needs one word. O-o
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