Let's Play Shiny Gold X!

Ho-Oh is so cool. SO. COOL.


******. I don't appreciate you being late.


WTF IS THAT?

Oh wait, that's a Marill. Ahaha...ha


By play with them, what exactly do you mean...?


(hard decision)


Who didn't see that one coming?



Well, I think so.


HAHAHAHA. DOUCHE. THAT'S A FUNNY NAME.

*game starts*


SETTINGS.


What the f&^% does he want??


I absolutely refuse to give him any sexual favors


YES A PHONE CARD


Pokebeeper? Honestly, I think it would've been just fine if you would have just named it beeper <_<


...I'd say it's quite obvious, but I'll humor you.


I don't know about you people, but my cell phone has around 150 contacts. and this thing only holds TEN number?

FAIL.


Emphasis on the word "should".


At a sink?!?


I really can't come up with any clever comments regarding this.


Who just has a dresser laying out in there living room?


Your ridiculous red hair. I mean seriously.

Hmm. I don't really plan on using my starter in this run through, but I'll use Totodile until I find a replacement.


Yes.


Oh christ. Now I can only get eight more numbers.

*runs outside*

*starts to go towards Cherrygrove City*

*OH MY GOD SOME GUY WANTS TO BATTLE*


Tch. He doesn't look that intimidating.


Gatorade eats Slowpoke for BREAKFAST.


Curse? Oh jeez. This doesn't look good.


Oh. That was easy. Critical hits win.


Nothing like gaining two levels from one battle.


What if I don't wanna?


Maybe if you weren't so fat, you wouldn't need to take breaks.


Why is the text red? And why is jumping off ledges scary?


I don't see any cute, fragrant flowers. You lied to me.


How could you tell?!?


Haha. Balls.


He's so punny.


Well, I took a screenshot too early. Put it was the Town Map.


So do humans. You're stupid.


Disappointment :(


This guy must be pretty important if he gets his own sign.


I'm putting eggs in my bag? That doesn't seem safe.


How? All I do is make them battle each other to the death.


SUCCESS.


I still can't get over the fact that it's called a Pokebeeper.


Hey! It's the kid with the ridiculous hair!


SAKLDJFASKLDJFKLWEJRF Chikorita learns Razor Leaf at level EIGHT?!?!?


That went horribly. Time to train.


REMATCH.

I lost again ._.


ANOTHER REMATCH.


Ohhh this is close.


Oh thank god. Razor Leaf missed.


No, his name is DOUCHE, not ???.


Hey, that sounds familiar!


Yes, yes. His name is Douche.


Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves here?


REALLY? I THOUGHT I'D BECOME CHAMPION IN A COUPLE HOURS.

I hate idiots.


Finally I can catch stuff!


MONEYS


...why do I need special shoes to run?

Alright, time for adventuring.


...if my parents named me 1TRAINER/1, I would kill them. With a knife.


Gatorade is too much for you.


(creepy jigsaw voice)hello mikey...

would you like to play a game?


I highly doubt it was against anyone that's even a slightly respectable battler.


You catch bugs. That's weird.


SUCCESS


That's what your mom said last ni-

wait.

Alriiiiight looks like were in Violet City now. Time to rock.

SPROUT TOWER


Chow? I get that these guys are supposed to be like ancient sages, but come on.


I just whooped your ass. You shouldn't be thanking me.


HUZZAH! CROCONAW!

Oh wait. Totodile evolves at level 18. Damn it >_>


Why did I even take a screen of this?


You're gonna be saying the same thing to me. I gag and bound my Pokemon.


You're the final test? You look more like a fat business man than a sage.


Your battler sprite doesn't match your overworld sprite at all. And your name is Li.


HUZZAH! CROCONAW (for real this time)


Has there always been two exclamation points at the end of this message? I need to be more observant.


I'm beginning to really like this thing. Maybe I WILL actually use the starter for once.


ohmygodthemostuselessmoveever


My team pre-Falkner. Epic, right?


Oh christ. You again.


What the hell? Where'd you get an EEVEE?


GATORADE EATS EEVEES FOR BREAKFAAAAAAAST NUMNUMNUMNUM


Oh you ******. Putting me to sleep when you have like three HP.


CHUMP. GATORADE EATS SLOWPOKE FOR BREAKFAAAST. Isn't that what I said last time? I need a more creative OWN'D line.


And you need a more creative IJUSTGOTOWN'D line.


Dude your Pokemon were at full health WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?

Well that was lame. Onto the trainers!


Trainer 1: Abraham Lincoln


YOU AIN'T ABOLISHIN' NO SLAVERY TODAY, SUHN


Trainer 2: Penis


Is what your mom said wh-

Okay, that's enough, my audience will get angry at me.


Ugh guys. My computer started being weird and for some reason I lost a lot of the screenshots I took after this. Basically I beat Falkner up. It was mildly difficult due to Double Teams and the like. I then went and searched the route below Violet City until I found a new team member. I'll be more careful and make sure this doesn't happen again. At least it was only for the first gym, which is quite boring anyway.


Boom. The funny thing is that it's a male Roselia. And I named it Cindy. HAHAHA

(it's not that funny, Xephyr)

Anyway, I grinded Cindy (and she (he) like it), and got her (he) to a high enough level.



Look at Gatorade. He's such a bro.

Anyway, time to put Cindy to the test against some trainers on our way to Union Cave.


Albert. What a stupid name.


CINDY TAKIN' OUT THE TRAAAASH


Oh, another trainer with horrible parents.


GETS OWWWWNED


Fishermen? This looks right up Cindy's alley


MEGA. FREAKIN'. DRAIN. (is better than Absorb).


The fact that all you had was four Magikarp was almost as disappointing as the Cavaliers losing in the second round of the playoffs.


Hey. Guess what.


You just got destroyed by a flower.


Yeah, almost as disappointing as the Cavaliers losing in the-

I need to get over that some day. Extreme sadness =[


Is there like a clan of parents who decide to give their children horrible names and make their lives miserable? I think there is.


CINDY SMACK


I think we all get the point: Cindy owns fishermen.


Your weakness is GATORADE.

Alright folks. I've reached a good stopping point. Next update includes Caves of the Union and Wells with Slowpokes and a gym that really BUGS me!

[/pun]

UNION CAVE.

Oh hey the text is red. Whoops. Lemme change that.

That's better. Moving on...


By a flower. Come on guys, Roselia isn't THAT good.


Since I'm positive everyone that's reading this LP knows what I'm gonna say here, I'm just not going to say it.

...

Okay, I can't resist. THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOM SA-

I'm done.


Bite? hellyesimabeatupsomeslowpokewiththis


MAGBY!!!! I WANT ONE!!!! <3<3<3


This is not a good matchup. At all. RUN TO THE HILLS!


Is the worst move ever. Screw you for burning me.


Dude, whoever is leading this group of parents needs to be shot.

Wait.

I BET IT'S CARLOS. THAT BASTARD.


Ohhhh yes you know I'm gonna be stallin' some *****es out with this. This list of *****es I'm gonna be stalling may or may not include a fat cow that is located in the third gym. I'm just sayin'.


What? What does that even mean?


What makes it unsafe? Now I HAVE to know.


Dude you're a douche bag shut up.


Whoa whoa whoa. Did somebody eat the tail off of Carlos's slowpoke? Cause if so, I agree.


Umm...I don't know what kind of customers you get in here...buuttt...no.


WHAT?!? THAT'S MY JOB! LET'S GET THEM AND RIP OUT THEIR TESTICLES!!!


....sooooo...what about Carlos's slowpoke?


Or in pedophilia. You're the old guy that offered to do something with my balls or whatever the heck you said earlier.


This isn't going to end well. I'm betting my left shoe on it.


Ha! Looks like I get to keep my left shoe!


Wait, why can't you just get your Pokemon to do it themselves?


Gutsy? Try EPIC.


Dude, it's just some creepy old guy, what are you afraid of? You're a horrible grunt.


That's pathetic. You should drown yourself in that water over there.


Wtfbbq? That's one of the most random things I've ever seen.


I feel quite confident that I'll beat your ass just as bad the second time as I did down here.


No thanks to you.


Oh, how convenient, your back is just magically better the instant I beat the last Rocket Grunt.


Wh...what does that even mean? Is that like, slang for doing dirty things to someone?


OHGODITSDOUCHE.


Yes. Why do you care, Douche?


Why does that surprise you? I'm sexy.


*****, I will shove Cindy SO FAR up your as....phault. Your asphault.


Dude I'm gonna beat you so bad there's gonna be cuts on your face....

That insult kinda sucked. I'm not looking forward to this.


Gatorade and Cindy. Let's do disssss


fffff I didn't heal from after the Slowpoke Well. That's not good.


wtf the Sableye knows thunderpunch?!?


WTF THE SABLEYE KNOWS ICE PUNCH? BOLTBEAM PUNCHING COMBO!??!?!?


Damn it. That's demoralizing. Ummm...yeah...I'm gonna put off fighting him again for a while now.

Let's do the gym then, I guess.


IT'S THE LEADER OF THE CRIME SYNDICATE THAT'S GIVES CHILDREN HORRIBLE NAMES!


Double battle? wut? is that like, slang for fourway sex?


Oh, that's what you meant. In that case, let's go ahead and rape the Slowpoke first.


We can eat its tail later. I hear they're delicious.


He's deep in thought about how much he sucks.


I love how in Pokemon when we win a battle we mug them for their money.


Double battles aren't very fun.


Ugh.

I'm having a lot more trouble with the trainers in this gym than I would like to be having. I eventually decided to go catch another Pokemon that will help me here. Maybe keep it too.


That'll do.


Haha. Stun Spore <3


Mirror Move sucks wtf


Because Spearow and Fearow are HUGE trolls.

*grindgrindgrindgrindgrind*


Josh. One of the most generic names ever.


Nice Trollette. Show 'em how it's done.


My team before Bugsy.

Now I'm gonna leave you guys with a cliffhanger. Bugsy and Douche and Ilex Forest and FAT COWS in the next update!

Alright, so, first order of business? Take out Bugsy.

To set the tone of the upcoming battle, I would like everyone to click the following link:

Anyway, let's do this.


You're not Bugsy! You're a generic cooltrainer sprite!


Which is the least respected job in the entire Pokemon universe. Congratulations.


Wtf? Is that a boy or girl? Or both?


fffffffff


SLAUGHTERRREDDD


What? Gatorade, NO! It's a freaking butterfly! You can do so much better!! Like Jynx!!!! You could totally tap Jynx's ass!!


Alright, Gatorade's not helping me here. Time for Trollette again.


ffffffffff





Dang it. I hate Scythers.


Check that out. You know ima be stallin some biches out nao suhn


k, so Cindy failed there. Oh well, Gatorade's got this.


Oh come on. Don't heal please. He already has two swords dancessss





Dude. You're the second gym. This is hardly an accomplishment.


Whoa! Already?! Yessss


Look at that face. It stares into your soul and says, "I'm gonna troll you".


First Mud Slap, now Fury Cutter. There is SO much suckage coming from these gym leaders.


Trollette. She's soooo naughty. ;)

Alright, now time for a rematch with a certain douche..


I'm gonna be telling your mom how bad I smashed you.

...dang it, that insult is just as bad as the last one.



Holy crap I hate this Sableye.


THAT'S RIGHT. SUCK IT. SUCK IT LOOONG AND HAAAARD.

Sorry. I overreacted. Anyway,


Wut. Fail.


You suck. So much.


Please don't heal again. This is gonna be real close.


Wow. Um. Okay. How bout I heal up?


YOU DEAD




Hmm. The presence of random pictures is quite amusing in this episode.


...somebody's a little psycho...


I'm a weakling? I just beat you!


...You couldn't control a measly little Farfetch'd? God you suck.


LRN2GRAMMAR


Oh for christ's sake. The scariest thing in this forest is Metapod.


TROLLETTE, WHAT IS IT SAYING?!

It just called me a ****-eating ******? Jeeeez, somebody must have got their onion stick weapon thing stuck too far up their ass.


Yes. It was like three steps to the east. Such a difficult job.


Yet ANOTHER horrible move.


This will be useful on a certain fire type Pokemon I plan on getting later in the game...


Oh hey look. If you could learn Cut, I would like you more. But unfortunately, I need an HM slave.


Like that.


I get to make my Pokemon slam their heads into trees? This sounds like it's right up my alley!


Hmmm....yeah, that'll work.


Alright. So a few updates ago I said Flash is the worst move ever. I was wrong.


Oh look, a little kid to beat up!


Trollette just did what she does best: trolling.


Ew what a fag.


Maybe cause you're WEIRD


....Carlos....I'll get you for what you've done to these children...


It's Carlos's fault.



I'm running out of ideas on how to make this funny.


Why is your flashlight on during the daytime?


That's what your mom said about my D


Holy **** Carlos's syndicate of evil is spreading faster than I thought!


Clearly, you didn't.

Alright, so, there's a certain thing I want to catch for my team here.


That was quick.


He's 71.4 pounds. What a fatty.


I like this name. A lot.


Time to buff up my team with some PUNCHES.

Alright, I grinded Dizzit for a while against wild Pokemon. Time to test him out against some trainers!


How does it feel to know you're about to get raped?


SEVERE RAPEAGE (except for the fact that he got burned...)


Elliot. That's such a gay name.


Dang Dizzit you're like a magnet for status effects.


Whoa wtf since when are Pikachu actually powerful?


SKANK.

K so my team's not up to par for where I think they should be. I'm gonna grind em up a bit to ~25 and then keep goin.


Carlos's reign of terror continues to spread.


Dang guys. I'm running out of ideas for witty commentary. What do I do?


O.O


Yes. I battle....dirty


Whoa check that sexiness out. Time to go rape Whitney. I mean beat her. I mean win at a Pokemon match against her. Yeah that one.


GASP. IT'S....CARLOS!@!!!

Wait, did he just say damn?


Bahahahahaha beaten by a girl.


Yes, actually, I have. You suck. Maybe this picture will put it more into perspective for you:


Yeah. If even Bill Murray thinks you suck, you must SERIOUSLY suck.


You keep telling yourself that.

Anyway. He didn't want to battle. Puss. Onto the gym.


Holy crap I would bang her.


Don't be sorry. Just have sex with me.


Oh my god she has a twin!!!!


That's what you would be saying if you banged Carlos. But not with me.


I GOT THE POWER


No you're not. You're another generic sprite.


Ew. I wouldn't bang her. There goes my arousal.


Pfft. Clefairy sucks.


THAT is what scares me.


Alright Cindy, your job is done. Take hit and die.


NO! First a butterfly, now a cow! I'm starting to really wonder about your sexual preferences, Gatorade.


Oh god why does this always happen.



In other words, WIN.


Alright well I guess that about sums it up.

*dramatic ending to the episode*

*curtains close*

Alright everyone, after the CRAZY RIDICULOUS INSANE UNEXPECTED PLOT TWIST ending of the last episode, I'm gonna have to somehow get my badge from Whitney.


Please don't tell me I'm suppose to say sorry or something. That would be so demoralizing.


What a baby.


That's right *****. Gimme mah plain badge.


Yet another gym that gives me a ****** move.


Lawl. Squirt.

K, bunch of random trainers I neglected to beat underground. Let's get this over with.

Here's some theme music for everyone to enjoy as I thrash trainers for a while:









whoa wtf that door looks REALLY out of place.


...moving on.





(lawl)

Ard. Wow. I'm pretty sure Carlos had something to do with that name.



Hey whoa whoa I'm not a rookie trainer I have THREE BADGES


Dude. Keep talking. I will hit you in the head with a golf club.


Why are all my rivals total psychos? It makes me fear for my life.


A Spear Berry? That sounds dangerous!

Anyway, back to thrashing trainers and stuff. New theme music:





Damn it Carlos


QUICK! SQUIRT ON IT!





GATORADE. GOD DAMN IT. You are such a ****, I swear. You're like Tiger Woods here come on now.




Dude get out of the way I wanna heal my Pokemon.


I. DON'T. CARE.


I don't want to trade, I want you to go away.


Oh wait. Never mind I like you now.


You don't like being outside? What a freak.


Depends on what you mean by "play"


Pretty boss. Bold would make for a good Vaporeon. I'll have to think about this one...


Why are there so many weird people blocking my way here in Ecruteak?


Dante? Aren't you the guy that wrote that epic about the circles of hell?


Love is for failures.


I get a wonderful sensation when I DO YOUR MOTHER


And I'll show the great power of HATRED and DECEPTION


"Cool Couple". That's funny.


Gatorade, you are THE biggest ***** I've ever seen.


Looks like HATRED and DECEPTION wins here.


...Hello, Douche.


He got a fourth Pokemon? I hope it's not like...Absol...or something.


This thing. I hate it. So much. Trollette, use your PECKING POWERS!!!


Oh. Awesome.


GO! MAGICAL LEAVES OF JUSTICE!!!


Cindy always comes through for me.


Dizzit's Fire Punches are too much for Derpleef.


Oh. Nidoking. He's kind of intimidating.


What? Fail.


Gatorade has your number.


Oh fffffffffff


Oh never mind. Gatorade is just way too awesome.


GET OUTTA MAH HOUSE SUHN.

By the way, I've beaten you three times now. HOW AM I A WIMP.

I seriously wanna bash this guy's face in with a large, blunt object.

Anyway, let's get to business. I want my favorite Pokemon. Come oooooonnnnnn


Yussssss. It's male too. Perfect.


Cindy, you're so perfect <3


Bro because Magmar is a bro and mar because it's at the end of his name. Duh.

*grindgrindgrindgrindgrind*


OH I WON'T DENY THAT MY HIPS DON'T LIE I'M STARTIN TO FEEL YA BOY

Alright, time to own some KIMONO GIRLSSSS












Yes! Finally a water move for Gatorade that isn't Water Gun.

Gym time. I'm not even taking screens of the trainers. I one-shotted every single Pokemon from every single trainer >_>


Whoa what. Croconaw evolves at level 30? EPIC


Behold: Gatorade. Final Form.


This will not be a challenge. At all.


FOR JUSTICE!


FOR PEACE!


FOR TRANQUILITY!


AND FOR ALL THAT IS SEXY!


Maybe if you just evolved your team and got a Dusclops or something.


Why is it the Fog Badge? Why not the Horrorbadge or something cooler?


FINALLY A DECENT TM.


Whoa wtf Carlos you're not even gonna let me heal up first?!


Emphasis on the word MUST, apparently.


Carlos: leader of the crime syndicate of evil parents that give their children horrible names.


Crap.


That's right. Don't mess with Trollette.


Alright Cindy. Good job. Now you're gonna die.


Synchronize is a stupid ability.


Slam jammin'.


Clearly. Last episode Bill Murray even said you sucked. So you should probably just quit.


That'll be the day.

Alright folks, before I end this episode, how about we go ahead and get our final team member?


I had to go ALL THE WAY to New Bark Town to do this. Very annoying. But it's worth it.




Yeah. My team is complete. I'll see you guys in the next episode.