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"Calli, Fiona says she loves Jacob too."
".. You let her do that?"
"I don't think it matters, Calli. Everyone has celebrity crushes."
"You say that now, but when she leaves you for him.."
My grandma: "Where in god's name do you learn this? You're in second grade!"
"I learn it from my friends at school!"
"Nana, you know those girls at my school you always complain about? We're looking at a future one."
"I'm afraid so."
"Catholic school?"
".. Good idea."
"Catholic school? Don't they hit you with rulers there?"
"We were joking, sweetie. We're not sending you there."
/me runs to the Christmas tree and grabs Calli's presents.
"Welp, looks like we're gonna have to sell these to pay for Catholic school."
"Nana said I'm not going, though!"
"That's what they told me about boarding school."
"Wha.. What?"
"NANA? DID YOU SEND ARIAN TO BOARDING SCHOOL?"
"What? No!"
"See? Nyahhh"
"You really expect them to tell you they did?"
"Well.. Yea."
"Hah, no, I'm joking. But we are selling your presents, though."
"WHY?!"
"Santa needs us to send him gas money. The economy is crap, girly. Ironic, huh?"
"NUH-UH. SANTA HAS ALL HIS REINDEER."
"How long do you think Rudolph has been alive? I'm pretty sure Santa and the Mrs. had some nice venison back at Thanksgiving, if you catch my drift"
That was so enjoyable XD