1,000 Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart [v.2]

295.
Steal a purse and place it in a cart. Then tell the lady you stole the purse from:
"Miss, I think that that man/woman stole your purse!"
and point to the person wheeling the random cart. Then, while there is confusion, walk up to a random person and hit them as hard as you can. They will flip out, hush them and say:
"Miss/Mister, hush hush. At least I didn't steal your purse."
 

296

Walk in wearing a black ski mask, keep wearing them for the duration of being inside, and just go around browsing the aisles.*

*You may not get thrown out if ski masks are to be expected around your local Wal-Mart.

297

Try and count how many boxes of candy you can eat before you purchase it.*

*You may need more than $5 to do this, depending on how skilled you are.

298

Get some friends* and play Keepy-Uppy with every fruit and veggie** you can get from the store. Bonus points for leaving a dripping stain on the ceiling!

*Friends not required.

**Meat can be substituted.
 
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301.

Go planking on a shelf stocked with jars of baby food :P
 
305.
Find an empty aisle where there is only you and one more person. Knock them out. Then, take the price tag off of a sweater, and attach it to the person, and put them in a cart. Wheel the cart to a very popular place in Wal-Mart and start screaming that there is a sale on butlers/maids.

306.
Walk up to a cashier, and scream in their ear as loud as you can. While they are busy freaking out at you, run away and steal some apples. Come back. Throw an apple at the same cashier, then sit down, and start eating an apple. As people surround you, fake choking, then subtly swallow the apple. Hold your breath and play dead. When a person comes up to you, tackle them and then make them take a bite out of the apple you were eating.

307.
Start rolling on the floor, screaming:
"THIS WILL PROTECT ME FROM THE DARK ONES!"
When people give you weird looks, get up and kiss them. Then, resume rolling on the floor.

308.
Grab all the pickle jars, then open them. With this done, start rolling five down a random aisle screaming: "PICKLE RACES!"
Take another five open jars and walk into the restroom. See those shoes indicating someone in a stall? Roll in a pickle jar, and count down in a robotic voice from ten. When you reach zero, make an explosion noise. Repeat until all five jars are in that random person's stall.
Then, take the remaining jars and pour pickle juice in random girl's purses or down random men's shirts. After every act, scream out:
"MOODOO HA HA!"
 
317

Have a competition with your friends of who can lick the most people's faces.
 
319.
Stand in front of the store screaming that you saw a vision of Wal-Mart's roof collapsing, and that nobody should enter the store if they want to live.
 
321...

Bring a giraffe, or a camel ....any size will do...(might want to go to the zoo first) and the Six Flags guy (or a friend with a sewing kit to disguise himself) to crash into the Walmart building, and play "We Like to Party" over the loudspeaker and hop onto the patio sets, and start dancing with your friends. (If you bring the camel, play "My Humps.")...and then wake up, because no one would do this. Just sing the Jigglypuff song over the loudspeaker, and once everyone's asleep, draw on their faces.
 
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