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Hold up the store with a banana. Hopefully someone knows how to defend themselves against a man wielding a banana! Bring a pointed stick too, in case someone eats your banana!
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Dropping one of my home-made Diversion Detonators on the afro of every employee that I see, and then running around yelling random lines from Michael Jackson songs, pausing occasionally to have epileptic seizures while staring at the security camera. As they come to stop me, the Detonators explode in a flurry of baking powder and vinegar!
Picking up a box of cereal and open it. Dump it on the floor then puke on it. Scoop some up, eat it, walk over to the cashier, puke. Go to the managers office, ask for a mop, then puke on the manager.
Get fourteen melons, write 'I hate you' on them then cover them in glue, sprinkle Sprinkles on them then throw them at a clerk while singing 'Pain' by Three Days Grace.
You need to first obtain a large, soft but stretchy enough blouse or dress for you to steal a watermelon, put it underneath the clothing acting like you're pregnant, then you walk over to the cashier with normal groceries and stuff, trip on your way out the door. Smash the melon. Then cry as you pick up watermelon pieces.
Grab a banana, peel it, throw a banana peel at someone and then get a cushion and stand on it and pelvic thrust your way through the store while throwing bread crumbs behind you~
Moonwalking circles around anyone who crosses your path, then moonwalk out, and back in without buying anything. Lastly, find every fragile item n the store and throw them at people.
After somehow finding a way to get one of the employees' game cabinet keys, take every single 3DS game with the pricetags on them and stuff them tightly into a 3DS game case which you also steal, with the pricetag on it. Also earns you jail time! How much? I wouldn't know, I wouldn't be stupid enough to actually do this stuff.
Have a mental breakdown in the middle of the store, if anybody tries to console you. Throw a banana at them. (Obtain banana before doing this. Preferably from WalMart)
Try and grab peoples faces protesting it's a mask, kick a clerk in the nuts with a clown shoe then declare the store a hobo sanctuary before running out with streamers! :D
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Buy a bunch of clothing from Walmart. Try to find some of those sensor tags and attach them to the clothes. Leave the store, and when the alarm goes off, look all confused and show the employees your receipt. Then smush the receipt in the manager's face and say, "You thought I was a criminal, so you need to do something nice! The store is MINE!" Then kick all the other customers out and build a fort with merchandise. Use the clothes you bought as ammo for a cannon to keep the employees off your new turf.
Grt someone to go to the child's section (2 person job) and have someone sy (preferably a child sounding person) "I gotcha where I wantcha, now I'm gonna eatcha"
