Attempt to kill Uberchu(Ash's Pikachu)

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a ha ha, my lungs are bursting from that joke. (not really... seriously. Dragchu? what kind of name is that?)

Uberchu farted... beef stew came pouring out... Uberchu is relieved from gas.

HP 100
 
*Burps on uberchu*. 0 HPs. man, my dad was right.. NEXT!....
Houston, we have a problem. what's 2+2?

UberchuGigagator 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999HPs
*uses A- bomb on uberchugigagator* * -1 Hp*

uh oh
 
Uberchu threw up on a librarian.
The librarian gets all mad and starts throwing chairs at Uberchu.
Uberchu uses Thunderbolt
Uberchu gains 102 Exp. Points

HP 45
 
I gave birth to the Pichu.

My HP: 0% and a mother.

Uberpichu HP: 1000%
 
Uberpichu gets to Volt Tackle his father.

Uberchu HP: 13%
Status: Paralyzed

Uberpichu HP: 999%

I fail to slap Uberchu since I'M STILL TIED UP AND NUDE HERE!
 
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I proceed to assault Uberchu violently for his lewd conduct. He doesn't like it and slaps me. The latent anger in me transforms me into my Yami form, and I proceed to challenge Uberchu to a children's card game, which he loses, thereby banishing him from existence. (Hey, it worked in YGO...)

Uberchu: 0 HP

I then proceed to untie Shadowdragon and throw her some clothes which I have conveniently obtained less then ten seconds ago. I then proceed to lecture her for hours on the perils of allowing Uberchu to hit on her more then once, teach her basic Uberchu-defense tactics, and leave. Because I'm just that much of a dea ex machina type of person.

ELSEWHERE....

The new Uberchu is revived from his thousand-year slumber, and begins walking towards us...

Latest Uberchu: 100%HP (Note: We all suck at math, since one hundred percent is the max no matter how many individual hit points any Pokemon has. I'd write the actual number here, but it woud exceed this post's character limit.)
 
I put on the clothes and new Uberchu starts hitting on me. I slap it. It runs away crying. It returns with a rope at a high speed where I cannot see it and it ties me up @ near light speed. Uberchu, satisfied now that I can't touch him, rapes me then starts stripping me. OH GOD COME ON!

Uberchu HP: 99.9%
 
O FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!

*unties shadowdragon*
runs at super speed and ties up uberchu so shadow can do what he plzes to him

loss of dignity:
75%
 
Throws the tied up Uberchu off a cliff but it hobbles back and stares at me.
My uberpichu son uses thunderbolt.

HP 21.5%
Status: Paralyzed
 
Uberchu starts hitting on me again. I slap it again. It hobbles away crying once again. It returns untied again but with a Raichu and ties me up @ near light speed. Uberchu and Raichu, satisfied again, rape me then start stripping me yet again. This so sucks. He brought his pervy brother.

Uberchu HP: 50%
Raichu HP: 100%
 
Uberchu and Raichu keep raping and stripping me.

My HP: 42%
Uberchu HP: 68%
Raichu HP: 100%
 
Alright, that's far enough.

I use my secret weapon on Raichu. It blows him away so quickly that he doesn't realize what it is.

Raichu: 0%

I then proceed to call the SPCA, who throw Uberchu in the pound. Unfortunately, his owner never shows up and he is euthanized.

Uberchu: 0%

Once again, I am forced to untie Shadowdragon.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, a new Uberchu skydives to the ground.

Uberchu: 100% ("Check the scouter!" "He's OVER NINE THOUSAND!")
 
New Uberchu runs at the speed of light and New Uberchu ties me with extra knots and loops with a metal wire under a super-strong rope and starts raping and stripping me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE VICTIM!?!?
 
An Admin at Pokecommunity forums that I have alerted temp-bans Uberchu.

HP: 0%

Unfortunately, he creates a new username and comes back. Luckily, the minute he does I take advantage of the moment and use the ropes he's been tying Shadowdragon up with to lash him to a wall. I then rescue Shadowdragon. Unfortunately, the lewdness of this thread at this point saps my strength to the ninth level.

My HP: 95%

Uberchu's HP: 95%
 
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Uberchu gets chains and chains me to a Boy's Locker Room wall with only him and I in it and yet again starts stripping me.

Uberchu HP: 100%
My HP: 20%
 
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