Attempt to kill Uberchu(Ash's Pikachu)

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I rig the intercom so it starts playing the Aquabats theme song at high volume. An enraged Uberchu runs to the office, where I am waiting with a big dictionary and a smile.

My HP: 80%
Uberchu's HP: 9%

You all use your imagination. (And get your minds out of the gutter.)
 
Uberchu runs back to the boy's locker room where I was chained and continues stripping me.

My HP: 10%
Uberrchu HP: 100%
 
I run into the boy's locker room. Uberchu attempts to thunderbolt me, but since he doesn't aim for the horn, I'm immune to his electricity. I then remove my dictionary and proceed to beat Uberchu to death with it while reciting every world that begins with the letter "B". Good times, good times.

Uberchu: 0.1% HP (Confused and unable to rape)
 
Uberchu chooses to chain up Art Critic Cubone and gets out an extra set of chains and Chains me back up.
 
I use my wrist communicator to call the Aquabats, who storm the building and trample Uberchu while untying me.

Uberchu: 0% HP

Meanwhile, I open my locker... and the new Uberchu is sleeping in it! Le Gaspe!

Uberchu: 100% HP
 
The Aquabats get killed by new Uberchu and chains my legs to the wall since my hands are already chained. New Uberchu starts stripping me and gets the shirt ACC gave me taken off.
 
I revive the Aquabats with the power of rock. Unfortunately, they are late for a concert and so they leave. Some superheroes they were. I summon Char and Eddie from "The Chronicles of ACC", and they kick Uberchu's butt with their complete insanity and/or their claws.

Uberchu: 75% HP

I realize that Shadowdragon must have a secret crush on Uberchu, and that's why she keeps letting him strip her. The realization gives me POWER!

My HP: Infinite
 
Uberchu kills ACC.

ACC's HP: 0%
He's dead.

Uberchu got the pants off.

EDIT: Uberchu got me pregnant again. THANKS FOR CARING I WAS CHAINED TO A BOY'S LOCKER ROOM FOLKS!
 
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I realize that since I'm not a video game character, I didn't have any HP in the first place, leaving me free to call the police, who arrest Uberchu.

I throw Shadowdragon into a nunnery for letting Uberchu remove her clothing. 'Cause I'm nuts like that.
 
New HP: 100,000,000,000,000,000,000%

I summon with the Master Summon Materia my SUPER CHAOTIC FURRY FORM, and use The Iron Claw of Justice on Uberchu, halving his HP!

500,000,000,000% now.

Furry Form attacks ACC for massive damage with his Diidlniidl (kinda like kunais except you can only throw 2 at a time and they stick for forever and hurt) attack, then uses Moon Jump and Falcon Punch the nunnery, freeing Shadowdragon. F-Form then poofles. Then I fade back in and Uberchu volt Tackles me into a wall

My HP: 0.00001% (OW, someone help me >.<)

Uberchu then proceeds to tie me to a wall and throw me off the grand canyon, which is also Ground Zero for an H-Bomb.

My HP: 0% (Ack X_X)
 
hahahaha
im revived like i said i would
and i eat uberchus arm and he kills me.
 
I left my Lugia with my sacred ash, he comes back and revives me. I do a jump out the canyon and falcon punch Uberchu.

Uberchu's HP: -0%

My HP: Over nine thousaand
 
Uberchu thinks the moon is cheese
Uberchu takes a bite outta the moon
Uberchu's teeth fall out

Uberchu's HP 87

*ya know, Uberchu has a very long Life Span
 
Uberchu throws me down a cliff and follows me.
Uberchu uses Thunderbolt
Uberpichu uses Thunderbolt @ the first Thunderbolt.
 
I teleport to where Shadowdragon is, dual-wielding Diidlniidles and fling them with deadly accuracy into the eyes of Uberchu, then use a secret power to fling the Thunderbolt at him.

Uberchu's HP:1 (Focus Band'd!)

Uberchu then Volt Tackles me again, and I start rolling down the cliff at the same speed of Shadowdragon, determined to get Uberchu away from ShadowDragon.
My HP:-1 (-10 and I die)
 
I get up and RoT Iced for healing Uberchu, then continue rolling.

Iced's HP: -9%

My HP: -2%
 
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