...But I Escaped Because.......

...But I escaped because I changed the definition of '5 Minutes' to be '50 Years', and thus got more time available.

The next poster's car got stolen by Mr. Toad from The Wind In The Willows!
 
But I escape by not actually owning a car... whoever he stole that car from is gonna be mad!

The next user got beamed up by scotty!
 
...But I escaped because nobody had bothered to lock the doors.

The next poster has an infinite number of Monkeys outside at their door who want to talk to them about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.
 
...But I escaped because I trained hard and gradually got used to the increased gravity and was able to walk about on it like I can on Earth.

The next poster meets Cthulhu after he's had a rough day.
 
…But I escaped 'cauae I told Cthulhu there was an all-you-can-eat calamari special at the seafood joint down the street. O_o While he was deciding if that was cannibalism, I made my getaway! 彡໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७

You're trapped in a room where the only way out is solving a Rubik's cube, but every time you get close, a clown pops out and scrambles it again .˛˛ƪ(⌾⃝ ౪ ⌾⃝ ๑)و ̉ ̉
 
...But I escaped because I'm the patient type, and eventually got it resolved (...and then never bought anything from that seller again).

The next poster is being followed by a Morpeko who keeps eating all of said poster's food, causing them to begin starving.
 
...But I escaped because I ate a Persim Berry.

The next poster is boarded up in the wall.
 
But I can talk to them because i have a vampire outfit, so i befriend them instead!

The next user is now a prisoner in my castle!
 
...But I escaped because I found the secret escape tunnel.

The next poster's future self is trying to kill them to avert a future disaster.
 
...But I escaped by finding out how my future life went and committing to going down a different path; erasing my murderous future self from existence!

The next user is stuck in a planet sized bowl of noodles! (with a complimentary infinitely large oxygen tank)
 
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