Character Discussion Thread

[Alter Ego]

The idea was brought up and backed, and it's true that the Roleplay Discussion does not cover this, so I'm willing to give it a shot.

This thread is for the purpose of placing out RP characters, character ideas, and individual posts of your own for discussion and critique. What the Roleplay Discussion sticky is to roleplays and the section in general, this thread is to posting and characters. Simple enough, yes? That being said, there are a few rules to abide by when posting in this thread.

1. First and foremost; respect your fellow members. This is something you should do on a general basis, but it bears emphasis here. If you want to call someone else's plot or characters crap to bolster your own ego, go and do it somewhere else. Be constructive in your criticism. Point out specific areas of improvement, why they need improvement, and how they can be improved and phrase your opinions tactfully. Also, please give encouragement where things are done well and right. Mindless bashing of members, characters, or posts will not be tolerated.

2. Just as you should respect the people whose work you critcize, you should respect the people offering criticism to you. In posting a profile, post, or idea here for comments, you are accepting that people can and will express their opinions on it, both for better and for worse. Keep the distinction between yourself and your characters clear. If any criticism on your writing is an insult to you, do everyone a favor and don't post.

3. Again, this should be self-evident, but allow me to reiterate. Plagiarism is not cool. If someone posts up a neat character idea here, do not copy it and try to pass it off as your own. And yes, it's still copy-pasta even if you threw in a couple of your own lines in-between. There is a special kind of infraction for people like that and you will not enjoy seeing it on your profile, I assure you.

4. No-one plays with the modding stick in this thread except for the higher staff and me. Mini-modding is not appreciated here, nor is stirring up drama and encouraging it by prolonging the argument. If you feel that someone in the thread is misbehaving, report them and let the staff deal with it.


Unpleasantries aside, this thread is now open for business. Discuss to your heart's content and send me a PM if you are unclear about what goes and doesn't go in this thread.

 

[Feign]

*starts it off*

Okay, myself, I usually like RPing with younger characters, as opposed to older ones (especially to avoid the romance that may occur intentionally or not. However, because I might be over criticizing myself, I find that the kids I RP, don't seem "kid" enough, that is to say, they speak too "adultish". Of course the age difference is part of the problem, but you'd think imagination would solve it, haha.

Hmmm perhaps it has to do with the personality? As for current RPs that I have posted in:

https://www.pokecommunity.com/posts/4809844/

https://www.pokecommunity.com/posts/4638763/

https://www.pokecommunity.com/posts/4550523/

https://www.pokecommunity.com/posts/4507498/

Thanks :)

 

[Wobbuffet]

I myself dont like roleplaying as humans, i prefer roleplaying pokemon. i love transformation themed roleplays most, or mystery dungeon roleplays.
of course i like to roleplays as wobbuffet most.
If i have to roleplay a person i try to roleplay as Vivi from final fantasy IX

 

[liveitout]

@ Feign: It could be that your characters feel too old for you because they're focused on un-kiddish goals and achievements. Take Dante Caelum, who's 12. When I was 12, my mom wouldn't let me have a puppy. She said I wasn't responsible enough. Dante's Pokemon have enough firepower to destroy a city block. I hope he keeps them on a tight leash.

When I was 12, I had a few medals for mathematic achievement and a certificate for piano theory, but I wasn't obsessed with becoming the best in either field. Instead I spent my time looking for vampires and reading fantasy novels. At the age of 12, after years of training and hard work, Dante beat the Elite 4 and became a League Champion, one of the best trainers in Hoenn. Wallace must feel pretty bad after getting his butt kicked by a kid. What kind of standard is he setting?

This does seem to be the standard set by the Pokeverse. According to canon, 10-year-olds go out and journey unsupervised with Pokemon, living off the fat of the land and battling non-stop to become the very best. Never mind education or spending time with family, battling is their life. But to my young eyes, Ash Ketchum looked like a teenager. He seemed to be acting like an independent adult, at least.

Maybe the harsh regime of a trainer's life wears down these children's youthful innocence until they talk like adults?

 

[Feign]

Good points indeed :)

It would make sense that being more mature, would have to do with Pokemon training at a young age, especially when it would start at the age of 10. I'd think kids would really try to smarten up to be ready.

Perhaps the major flaw between both worlds is that the Pokeverse 12 year old's mind is more focused than the real world one. Theoretically speaking of course... XD

So perhaps I am not *too* in the wrong.

 

[silvanarrow]

Yeah, I've always wondered about the logistics of having 10-year-olds journeying across whole continents by themselves with just their Pokemon. I certainly didn't have anywhere near that amount of freedom when I was ten. And I agree about the issues of schooling and family. Unless those kids are on a major accelerated curriculum, you're gonna have a lot of uneducated Pokemon trainers out there. I prefer to write characters that are mid to late teens and have (usually) at least finished high school just to avoid those problems.

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

Can I ask a quick question? How do you normally go about creating your character?

I, personally, normally grab a handful of characters from books, films, real life or whatever and mash them together, then I'll take my favourite personality trait and exaggerate it a bit to create the personality. Next, I'll try and create a history that fits with their personality. Finally, I give either an appearance that either complements the personality or, (just for fun), an appearance that contrasts hugely with the personality.

What about you?

 

[Monochrome]

Meh normally I get a rough Idea of my character, usually it just comes to me... But usually I'm that mary-sue guy... I try making cool overcomplicated character that usually end up making little sense.

 

[{Swan}]

When I create a character I usually just envision what I want for that roleplay. For me it always starts with a name. I have this thing with names, I will look for an entire day to find the exact right name for my character haha. I'm just that obsessive.
If I don't have any inspiration for the character, but I have to make one nevertheless then I look at older ones. Sometimes I recycle, but I don't do that often. I think I've done that a good 2 times in my entire life ^^;;

The name is usually followed by an appearance, so I can see them before exactly. After that there's the personality where they come alive and then the history to finish it off. Viola, you have a character.

I try to make every character unique in a way. Note: I try. Sometimes I can't help but create a character that is similar to one in the past, it happens to the best of us.

 

[liveitout]

I build on little inklings of what I think is totally awesome at the moment. It usually begins with a mental image, like a snapshot. For the personality, I choose whatever traits seem most likely, considering the character's history and appearance, and fiddle with it until they seem reasonably realistic.

When I have a good wacky character I look for ways to reuse them as often as possible, and if they turned out lame I discard them.

 

[Feign]

I build on little inklings of what I think is totally awesome at the moment. It usually begins with a mental image, like a snapshot. For the personality, I choose whatever traits seem most likely, considering the character's history and appearance, and fiddle with it until they seem reasonably realistic.

When I have a good wacky character I look for ways to reuse them as often as possible, and if they turned out lame I discard them.

lol funnily enough that's pretty much exactly like me. I just build upon a frame until I am satisfied. It is especially affected by what the RP is about.

But to me, the most important part of my character's planning is its personality, then I follow it with its history, and tweak the two if need be, then I follow with appearance etc.

What I do is think of ways on how a character in general could react to the RP's situation, then I build from that. It makes it really easy for me to come up with a character that way.

 

[Musician of Literature]

Nice thread, Alter Ego.

Now, time to get down to buisness. Here is one of my character applications that I sent to i'Aisha's RP. This character did get accepted, but I want to see what the rest of PC thinks about it, because I only got one persons opinion on it.

Name: Alita Ana Salazar
Age: 21
Height: Average (5'6")
Appearence:

I give credit to TekTek for this avatar. I hope you accept images.
Pokémon: Roserade, Milotic, and Crescensia a.k.a. Tropius
Occupation: Teacher
Team: None
Biography: Alita was born on the Island of Tolan, but after a flood hit, she got washed away to Dewford Beach in Hoenn at the age of 7. She got taken in by a friendly family, the Espinozas. They treated her very warmly. She told them about the Island and her memories of it. She told them of the beautiful tropical beaches and oceans. She told them of the warm and friendly locals and the beautiful views. She also described the pleasant traditions that the people of Tolan celebrated, such as their kickball games, and the Annual Surfing Competition, and the Tolan Pokemon Elite Trainer Conference (TPETC). She was not greedy during her 3 years of hospitality off the island. She only ate what she needed and only bought what she needed with the money of her family. With her old surfboard, she went to the waves constantly. She made a few friends, such as Doncia Vargas, Ernesta Rivera, Gracia Ruiz, and Jessenia Jimenez. She met her arch-enemy there, also. Her name was Melania Gutierrez. She had a really dark and evil personality, unlike Alita, with a positive, fierce, and generous personality. Her best friend, Jessenia, had a calm and protecting personality, yet she is optimistic and athletic. She also learned to swim. She obtained her education at Hoenn Ultimate Pokemon Trainers Academy (HUPTA), on the Hoenn island Valencion. She was extremely smart and elite in her academics. For her 3 years of training, her overall averages were 99, 99, and 100, respectively. The Espinozas were very impressed, so they gave her a Tropius that their father had caught while training. Prior to facing the second Hoenn Gym in Dewford, she captured a Carvahna. She defeated Brawly single-handedly with that sole Carvahna, which evolved into a Sharpedo after the battle. After that gym battle, she met her current rival, Emelina Morales...

Skip to when she was 14: While traveling through route 204 in sinnoh, Alita captured a Budew, which would later become one of her three elite powerhouses. She captured 3 other Pokemon in Sinnoh. She captured a Turtwig, Lumineon, and her third powerhouse, Feebas...

Skip to 17: This was the year that she was to take her teacher proficiency exam. She was confident and on her way to HUPTA when she was stopped by the evil Team Shivero, run by her enemy, Melania Guiterrez. Melania and Alita had a very fierce battle. Alita narrowly won. The battle caused her to be late for her exam, but the teachers, fortunately, let her off the hook because of her excellence in her 3 years of academics. She ended up doing excellent on her exam, the highest ever. She got a 9875/10000.

Now: Ms. Salazar was really excited about the field trip coming up. She and her class was going to go back to her home island of Tolan. She was really excited to see the beaches, the views, and everything else. She knew the island had its dangers, such as the flood, so she only brought 3 Pokemon. She really wanted to show all the teenagers of her past life. Little did she know she'd never get the chance...

The island of Tolan looked extremely sharp and dazzling. Alita stepped off of the boat and gazed upon it in awe.

Later that night: Alita was preparing to sleep in her room on the S.S. Oak when she saw the volcano eruption..

 

[Feign]

Hmmm well your character (aside from the creepy avatar with the big head, it looks like she is slouching, and depraved of important nutrients), seems to be all 'perfect'. That no *real* conflict has gotten in her way. Because of this she would need a personality (which is not in your sign-up, which I assume wasn't needed in the form). But you'd have to develop how she would react to being a foster child. Maybe because of this, she is rebellious, or soft spoken. Also, if your character was going back to the island at the age of 17, why didn't the family help her go back at the age of 7 (if anything to survey the damage and look for survivors)?

Also why are her Pokemon powerhouses? Did she train with them a lot?

Compared to your arch-enemy it sounds as though you are in contrast of black and white (no grey areas). Why is her arch enemy evil? How did they meet?

Also one way that her academic scores could make sense (99, 100), would be if she was just totally focused on them (which would mean negelecting perhaps her friends, or even her past).

She seems to be close to a mary-sue though. By the by, was your character inspired by Moses, Stargate or Harry Potter? Just wondering :P (Please take this as constructive criticism, I'd want people to improve in their character writing, not get mad because I'm butchering their character).

EDIT: Okay Tolan is from the actual RP, and you guys weren't required to write a personality.

 

[liveitout]

Hmm, why is your teacher wearing only lingerie and footwear? I am having naughty thoughts.

"She met her arch-enemy there, also. Her name was Melania Gutierrez. She had a really dark and evil personality, unlike Alita, with a positive, fierce, and generous personality."

Did Melania also survive the flood? Why does she hate Alita so much?

Like Feign says, this black/white contrast does little for your character. It makes the conflict less realistic. Personally, I've never met anyone who might be described as 'dark' or 'evil'. If these two have a long-standing feud it's a sign of pettiness on both sides.

"She ended up doing excellent on her exam, the highest ever."

...The highest grade /ever/? Since the exam was introduced? The alarm bells in my head are chiming 'Mary Sue'.

Some more details about Alita's character. What does she do in her spare time? Why does she want to become a teacher? What /kind/ of teacher is she? From the words "positive, fierce, and generous" I can tell Alita is a good person, but that's still rather vague. All I really have is a list of her glowing accomplishments.

 

[Alter Ego]

Can I ask a quick question? How do you normally go about creating your character?

I, personally, normally grab a handful of characters from books, films, real life or whatever and mash them together, then I'll take my favourite personality trait and exaggerate it a bit to create the personality. Next, I'll try and create a history that fits with their personality. Finally, I give either an appearance that either complements the personality or, (just for fun), an appearance that contrasts hugely with the personality.

What about you?

Eh, mine tend to vary. First and foremost, I try to look for what will get the most out of the existing cast and setting. Say, if the cast consists primarily of moping, dark characters I go for a cheery, bubbly one to spark contrast. If the cast leans too heavily towards one gender, I tend to favor the other. If the setting has some distinctive features or quirks, I try to make a character that can play on and pronounce them. And of course, when I host (or if it's an RP where I feel a certain type of character is necessary), I tend to go with the character that can best serve my needs in pulling the plot along etc. during the RP.

Beyond the general focus above, I tend to use various thought experiments or defining traits as a basis and then see what can be extracted from it. Say, if it's a setting where you get a certain special talent, I try to imagine how having such a thing would affect a character's mindset and world view, or I can just take something like 'what if a character had this or that particular opinion/world view and believed in it with all their heart?' then spin further on that until I get a whole character.

So yeah, sources do vary, but usually my characters are born from a flash of inspiration from one of the profile fields that then pulls the others along in its wake.


As for this profile...

...I'm going to go through this bit by bit.

Name: Alita Ana Salazar

...that is one very peculiar name. Not to say that you can't have an unusual one of course, but...this does set off the first warning bells, since a hallmark of Mary Sue is the unusual and exotic name. Potential Sue Factor one, check.

Appearence:

I give credit to TekTek for this avatar. I hope you accept images.

Seconding liveitout here; if I had to guess the profession of someone who dresses like this, I would have quite a few ideas that pop into my mind before 'teacher'. Unless it's a 'naughty teacher'.

Eh, personally I keep a policy of 'if it's not your original art, don't put it there' when it comes to pictures, but if you're going to rely on a picture for appearance, at least make it representative. If you're character seriously walks around dressed like that...then yeah, something needs to be fixed here.

Biography: Alita was born on the Island of Tolan, but after a flood hit, she got washed away to Dewford Beach in Hoenn at the age of 7.

A seven-year old child who survived being washed out at sea until they reached land. Potential Sue factor two, check.

She got taken in by a friendly family, the Espinozas. They treated her very warmly. She told them about the Island and her memories of it. She told them of the beautiful tropical beaches and oceans. She told them of the warm and friendly locals and the beautiful views. She also described the pleasant traditions that the people of Tolan celebrated, such as their kickball games, and the Annual Surfing Competition, and the Tolan Pokemon Elite Trainer Conference (TPETC).

...only to be found by an instantly loving family. And proceeding to recount in explicit detail an extraordinarily wide reprtoire of memories. From...her at most seven years of life there? I have never, ever, seen a child with such a vivid memory, especially after a traumatizing event like being swept out to sea. Oh, and she must have been pretty eloquent for a seven-year old too, to express all of this. Yeah, I think I can chalk this up as potentinal Sue factor three.

She was not greedy during her 3 years of hospitality off the island. She only ate what she needed and only bought what she needed with the money of her family. With her old surfboard, she went to the waves constantly. She made a few friends, such as Doncia Vargas, Ernesta Rivera, Gracia Ruiz, and Jessenia Jimenez. She met her arch-enemy there, also. Her name was Melania Gutierrez. She had a really dark and evil personality, unlike Alita, with a positive, fierce, and generous personality. Her best friend, Jessenia, had a calm and protecting personality, yet she is optimistic and athletic.

...ooookay, why are we getting these descriptions of their personalities but not a single example of any of them in action? Show, don't tell please. We also seem to have the irredeemably evil rival who's evil just because...why again? Evil is not a personality trait. She is being awfully considerate and consientous for a seven-year old too. And wait, three years? She's leaving at age ten? Potential Sue factors four and five, check.

She also learned to swim. She obtained her education at Hoenn Ultimate Pokemon Trainers Academy (HUPTA), on the Hoenn island Valencion. She was extremely smart and elite in her academics. For her 3 years of training, her overall averages were 99, 99, and 100, respectively. The Espinozas were very impressed, so they gave her a Tropius that their father had caught while training. Prior to facing the second Hoenn Gym in Dewford, she captured a Carvahna. She defeated Brawly single-handedly with that sole Carvahna, which evolved into a Sharpedo after the battle. After that gym battle, she met her current rival, Emelina Morales...

Studied at the academy of the random superlative and earned near-perfect to perfect scores on everything then proceeded to kick Brawly's butt with a type disadvantaged pokémon. Potential Sue factors six and seven, check. And another irredeemably evil rival with a coordinated name? And this is a child of thirteen? Potential Sue factor eight, check.

Skip to when she was 14: While traveling through route 204 in sinnoh, Alita captured a Budew, which would later become one of her three elite powerhouses. She captured 3 other Pokemon in Sinnoh. She captured a Turtwig, Lumineon, and her third powerhouse, Feebas...

Skip 1 year of her life when nothing of note happened? ...and then she's in Sinnoh for no apparent reason...and happens to capture two extremely rare pokémon? No explanations offered? Potential Sue factor nine, check.

Skip to 17: This was the year that she was to take her teacher proficiency exam. She was confident and on her way to HUPTA when she was stopped by the evil Team Shivero, run by her enemy, Melania Guiterrez. Melania and Alita had a very fierce battle. Alita narrowly won. The battle caused her to be late for her exam, but the teachers, fortunately, let her off the hook because of her excellence in her 3 years of academics. She ended up doing excellent on her exam, the highest ever. She got a 9875/10000.

...single-handedly brought down an evil team, got excused of the first potential trouble during this entire bio, and proceeded to earn the highest score ever? Potential Sue factors ten and eleven, check.

Now: Ms. Salazar was really excited about the field trip coming up. She and her class was going to go back to her home island of Tolan. She was really excited to see the beaches, the views, and everything else. She knew the island had its dangers, such as the flood, so she only brought 3 Pokemon. She really wanted to show all the teenagers of her past life. Little did she know she'd never get the chance...

...she knew it was dangerous so she chose to reduce the number of useful pokémon that could help her against those dangers? I'm sorry, but I'm not quite following your logic here.


Total Sue Factors: 11
Total Anti-Sue Factors: 0
Sueness Grade: 11

...I'm sorry, but your character is...pretty thoroughly Mary-Sue in my book. There is barely a single part of her biography that is not an extreme improbability and all of these improbabilities work in her favor. Add that to those strange red eyes, her - to put it mildly - unusual style of clothing, and the fact that this person basically collected highest honors in everything and beat an entire evil team solo before reaching legal age and the evidence is just overwhelming.

Yeah, if this would have been for an RP of mine, it would have gotten a definite 'declined' verdict. :\

I really recommend that you tone this character down. A lot. Every human being has flaws, and its the flaws that make a character interesting. This one...I only see a massive merit list on. Give her some failures, human errors, honest mistakes...you know, things to make her more human and approachable. Come to think of it, how and when did she become a teacher anyway? And get her class? And a class of whom from where? You never covered that part so I'm really in the dark about it. Also, you can have her be good at things without necessarily being the best at everything, you know? It's only natural that she'd do better in some fields than others, rather than have such a wide range of perfects. A person who's awesome in one particular field has all the potential to be interesting; one that's just perfect all over the place tends to be rather grating.

 

[Shen]

I just want to drop the note that there is nothing new under the sun. Don't try and make something needlessly complicated or strange for the sake of originality. Chances are it won't work out well. Hell it almost never works out well. It just ends up being too much to keep going and eventually the character with more quirks than brain cells ends up just being a pain.
Not relevant, but I've seen too many around in my day.
EDIT: Including myself.

 

[Mika]

I just want to drop the note that there is nothing new under the sun. Don't try and make something needlessly complicated or strange for the sake of originality. Chances are it won't work out well. Hell it almost never works out well. It just ends up being too much to keep going and eventually the character with more quirks than brain cells ends up just being a pain.
Not relevant, but I've seen too many around in my day.
EDIT: Including myself.

I disagree to a certain extent. Sure there's no such thing as 'new' because we've all, collaboratively, seen everything before but there's always a way to go outside the box. It's about finding the difference between too little information and too much, a balancing act if you will. Stray too much towards insanity and you're right; you'll end up with this massively overdone...thing. Don't stray enough and your character is dull and boring. o3o Try and put a new twist on your characters without breaking things like the fourth wall. :3 Everyone has their secrets, but it's the difference between those secrets and how they're portrayed that matters, I think.

 

[Shen]

A character is only dull and boring if it is an extremely over-done type (which we probably need, if we don't already have, a list of), such as the loner emo-freak who somehow saw his parents murdered in front of him for no logical reason other than to give the character a reason to be filled with angst.
While I'm not disagreeing with you, the word you want would be obscure, not original. It's best not to toss that word around so much as it leads to mistakes when the few newbies who actually do read this sees "original only plz". You can make a perfectly fine character that has been done a thousand times before. What matters is if you, as you said, correctly portray the character. Even a Mary-Sue can be an interesting character (no seriously, it has been done before!) when done correctly.
For the record, I am not endorsing Mary-Sues or cookie-cut characters. I just don't want people to get to wrapped up in the idea that everything they do must be 100% original. I don't want a genuinely helpful idea (this thread) having the opposite effect.
It's just a worry that recently struck me in concerns to this thread.
God I hoped that made sense.

 

[Mocky The Lucario]

i enjoy Role-Playing as a Lucario or Riolu, i keep my people short, sweet, basicly to the point

 

[Zeph.]

I'm kinda like that too. I don't try to overcomplicate the characters I create incase I confuse myself and end up with my character being totally different from the original SU :P

I suppose what I like to do in Pokemon transformation type/ Pokemorph RPs is to play a pokemon that you can really have fun with.