Cutting

[☆Rei☆]

Honestly, I don't like to assume that one is cutting his/herself just because you see a scar, because you really don't know if it was self inflicted or not, I have a scar on my face and people just assume I cut and brands me as someone who just wants attention. But in reality that's not the case, I usually try to avoid attention in public.

With that said, even if they cut I still wouldn't assume they just did it for attention, this is a fact that I have friends who used to and not once has any of them said or even acted like they wanted people to notice the scars, in fact they usually try to cover it up so that no one needs to know.

I don't approve of people who cut, but I don't condemn them saying you want attention or saying things like "nobody will love someone who cuts" because that's just simply breaking their spirits more and usually it's completely false, but rather I would ask them why they did and if there's anything I can help with, instead of breaking their spirits I try to cheer them up and make them forget about the thought of trying again.

 

[Kanzler]

I've never cut myself.

I've chopped my arm once, past skin into subcutaneous tissue. You could see the fat bubbling underneath all the blood.

That got me in the hospital.

The doctor gave me some wise words. You do it once. People notice. You don't do it again. Else nobody gives a ♥♥♥♥ about you. And I thought about it. And it's true. Nobody can help a person who can't help themselves.

I do wonder sometimes if those who cut would stop if they'd just cut a bit deeper.

 

[Karinmo]

I feel strangely though I have cut in the past for personal reasons I will not say here.

If you post it ANYwhere on the internet or show it to anyone whom is not your trusted friends or family, I feel it is attention wanting.
I cut for death, some cut for relief, which is total BS.
I did not feel any better after cutting. I realized that my pain was only numbed for the time cutting, and even then, I ended up with scars.

On instagram, daily I will see younger people than I talking about cutting normally, and telling you to stop though they cant. Our society has a wrong view on this ordeal.

 

[Taemin]

My take on it is that I think it's sad that people feel the need to have to cut themselves in the first place, however the one thing I will say that's argumentative in this thread is that it doesn't really make you feel any better. I had a really low point where I used to self-harm, buuut there was nothing about it that made me feel any better. So when people say that they cut to take away emotional pain, I'm really curious about that, because it doesn't really take it away at all. However, it did snap me into the reality that I needed to get my act together and work on fixing myself in other ways, so I owe it that much.

I really dislike the part of society that romanticizes it, and that's scene mostly online. People making it out to be something that makes pretty photography, or making people who cut themselves out to be a certain type of romantic interest so they can be "fixed" by the other person. That's really. Ugh. Why would you even..

 

[Monophobia]

I feel strangely though I have cut in the past for personal reasons I will not say here.

If you post it ANYwhere on the internet or show it to anyone whom is not your trusted friends or family, I feel it is attention wanting.

Aren't you contradicting yourself here?

I cut for death, some cut for relief, which is total BS.
I did not feel any better after cutting. I realized that my pain was only numbed for the time cutting, and even then, I ended up with scars.

That is your personal experience with self-harm, and does not validate that you generalize everyone into the same group as you. Different people have different minds. Thus, different feelings no? Saying people who cut don't feel relief afterwards is a very big statement, and I can promise you is not true in the slightest.

 

[Karinmo]

Aren't you contradicting yourself here?

That is your personal experience with self-harm, and does not validate that you generalize everyone into the same group as you. Different people have different minds. Thus, different feelings no? Saying people who cut don't feel relief afterwards is a very big statement, and I can promise you is not true in the slightest.

With this, I more so meant with my experience, I could not see why someone would feel relieved. I understand I contradicted myself, but I more so meant why I cut so you could know I do have some experience with the topic, unfortunately. Apologizes on the unclearness of my post.

 

[Monophobia]

With this, I more so meant with my experience, I could not see why someone would feel relieved. I understand I contradicted myself, but I more so meant why I cut so you could know I do have some experience with the topic, unfortunately. Apologizes on the unclearness of my post.

Well, I guess it depends more on your definition of "relief". For some it releases emotional stress without having to hurt somebody else. Others use it to distract them from what's going on inside their heads (or ultimately outside of their own body).

Also, I should apologize for attacking you like that. It's a touchy subject and hits close to home.

 

[Karinmo]

Well, I guess it depends more on your definition of "relief". For some it releases emotional stress without having to hurt somebody else. Others use it to distract them from what's going on inside their heads (or ultimately outside of their own body).

Also, I should apologize for attacking you like that. It's a touchy subject and hits close to home.

I understand how bad some of these situations can be, dont worry.

You know how when you stub your toe you might pinch yourself to get away from the pain? I think the relief within this is similar, but not the same. It's a way to get the pain you are feeling away from your mind.

 

[PandoraLumina]

I once used to cut my self when I was in middle school (3 or 4 times) but fortunately I manage to stop it before it become a habit thanks to the help of my friends and my family. Yeah, it sad I used to do it to forget my inner sufforing... I think the best thing others can do when they know someone who do it, is to convince them to stop and NOT going around telling everyone that this girl/that guy cut himself.. Because that absolutely don't help! I remember that when my classmate saw the cuts they started talking and talking about it around the school, looking at me like I'm a strange creauture or someone that must be avoided! That only made me want cut more!T_T
Sometimes those who had always lived nicely and a good life can never understand these people so they tend try to help them but in the wrong way...

But this is my case(3years ago)
Then there are others people who do it just to show off... -.-

 

[dogtree]

i dont understand why people who cut need attention? can anyone explain?

 

[chilton]

cutting doesn't give me more problems imo. it helps make me feel better. from what my therapist told me [don't get me wrong she doesn't approve my self harm addiction], she mentioned that self harm releases endorphins that make you feel better mentally. like distracting yourself from your thoughts to something far more tolerable. i don't enjoy cutting, but i do it because it's the only way i can cope. i'd probably be dead if i didn't have some kind of outlet for my emotions. and cutting is the only one that works for me.

 

[Kanzler]

i dont understand why people who cut need attention? can anyone explain?

Because others start worrying about them, and so it seems that their being is validated.

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

I don't know personally, but sometimes people cut for attention because they are extremely lonely or feel like they cannot receive validation or attention in other ways. Sometimes though people are addicted to attention and do it for that reason as well.

When I was doing that ♥♥♥♥ back when I was like 15-16, I did it because I was pretty much frantic and it felt like an escape. So yeah, very different reason. I still have trouble with self harm today, but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

 

[Oryx]

Sometimes I feel like the attitude towards cutting is similar to "the only moral abortion is my abortion". Everyone says that cutters are attention-seeking, even other cutters, but then they qualify it with "but not ME, I had a good reason for it, but those other guys, they totally wanted attention."

 

[Kanzler]

I think people can validly despise those who seek for attention. I think people don't like giving attention to those undeserving of it.

 

[chilton]

I think anyone who hurts themselves is worthy of our attention.

in this case, these people are referring to people who do it only to gain attention, instead of using it as a coping mechanism for their emotions

 

[Oryx]

in this case, these people are referring to people who do it only to gain attention, instead of using it as a coping mechanism for their emotions

This hypothetical person is so desperate for attention that they're harming themselves to obtain it. Wouldn't it follow that it would probably help the person to give them attention? They're obviously starved for it compared to what they need to remain sane. Why is coping with your emotions the only acceptable reason to cut?

 

[Kanzler]

This hypothetical person is so desperate for attention that they're harming themselves to obtain it. Wouldn't it follow that it would probably help the person to give them attention? They're obviously starved for it compared to what they need to remain sane. Why is coping with your emotions the only acceptable reason to cut?

Or not, they could just be incredibly vain and wanting to be edgy and cool and stuff.

 

[chilton]

Or not, they could just be incredibly vain and wanting to be edgy and cool and stuff.

that's exactly my point. i'm talking about those kinds of people, not people in the situation oryx is referring to

 

[Oryx]

Or not, they could just be incredibly vain and wanting to be edgy and cool and stuff.

Technically...just like people who choose to be in the army could be doing because they want a uniform to wear for having sex with their SO.

None of us are in a position to judge whether or not another person is harming themselves because they're in pain, because they're starved for attention, or because they're "edgy and vain". Saying it's a technical possibility only serves to marginalize those who do cut and validate the judgments of people like Toni earlier in this thread, who claimed he can just "tell" because the people he knows have good lives that they must be cutting for attention and nothing else.